Chapter Text
Eve shivers a little. Snow in Connecticut isn’t out of the ordinary, quite the opposite, but snow during Christmas days is becoming more and more rare, with the planet warming and whatnot. A shame, really, because Eve always loved a White Christmas, having one now making her regret all the other ones she missed, which is why she’s enjoying it so much. She watches the tiny flakes falling sporadically, piling up softly around them, covering the grounds in a perfect white. Eve looks around. Under the morning light, everything looks so much more beautiful.
Flashes of the previous year assault her mind without asking permission, the tension she felt, the fear of possible choices that would’ve made today impossible. The decorations so different, the guests, the energy… It’s incredible how much can change in a year. Now, the house feels more like a proper home, and less like a model for perfection. Made up perfection. Looking around the back garden, Eve smiles at all the lights covering the house, the tinsel, and mistletoe placed haphazardly. Snowmen built by the adults and kids still standing thanks to the cold that doesn’t seem to want to give a break, pairs of snow shoes, and gloves, abandoned on the ground where a snowball fight occurred. A massive Christmas tree that Eve wonders if her mother stole from the Rockefeller Centre. There are no tables, no chairs, no staff walking around like little working ants making sure everything runs smoothly. That was last week’s event. This week is all about family, and therefore much simpler, and warmer.
Charlotte had decided, sometime during summer, that from this year on things would be different. Her annual soirée would still happen, obviously, the Rothlos have a reputation and there’s only so much the matriarch is willing to give up on. But, from now on, that party would be only for the community, the rich community as Tegan called it. And it would happen earlier than usual, because on Christmas Eve, Charlotte wanted the family together. All family together. Eve laughs, remembering everyone’s faces when her mother announced her plans. For her part, Eve was happy she didn’t have to come to that party any more, having to pretend she cared about people she only saw once a year, a sentiment Vanessa shared. Tegan, who very quickly became a member of the family, for many reasons, was glad she didn’t have to put up with small boring talk no more, and Annalise was just happy to do whatever made Eve happy. Johan would’ve scrapped the whole thing altogether, but he’s not about to tell his wife that. The decision was made, and everyone backed away when Charlotte picked up the phone and started making the necessary arrangements.
It was a gamble, Eve hadn’t seen most of her family in longer than she can remember. Some of her cousins were out of the country. Her uncles hadn’t been around in years, and she wasn’t sure they were willing to show up in this house, during Christmas no less, when there were so many wounds still open in this family. Over the course of the year, she learned more about the distance between her mother and her brothers. About why her cousin Jamie, who moved to Paris at the age of eighteen, never so much as called the family since. Or why her cousin Keith moved to Denmark and was never seen again. Why her uncle Robert was last seen at her grandfather’s funeral, before relocating to Canada and cutting all ties with the Clifford name. Nicolas Clifford did a number on this family, and for years, no one seemed able to fix it. Or so much as willing to try. Spencer was the only one she knew kept in touch with her mother, somewhat, through the occasional phone call. Eve remembers her uncle, the kind smile and sweet voice. She remembers the way he teased her over her girlfriend, the last time they saw each other, she was barely a teenager. She smiles, hoping they will all come. Her mother battled hard for her to have a family, it didn’t go the way she had envisioned, but Eve is hopeful things can change now.
Especially now, when she has someone she can’t wait to introduce to the rest of the family.
“There you go.” Annalise comes closer, giving her a steaming mug of hot chocolate. Eve holds the mug between her hands, letting the warmth bring some feeling back, and gives Annalise a peck in thanks.
“We left everything in a mess, didn’t we?” The professor looks around, at the evidence of a well spent afternoon between children and adults. The happiness in her face, proving she doesn’t have a single regret.
“I think it looks perfect.” She says, eyes locked on the features of the woman she loves more than anything.
“Charmer.” Annalise looks down, a smile on her lips, the hints of a blush on her cheeks. Compliments are still hard, but Eve is determined to spend the rest of her life giving them.
“Good morning, you two.”
Eve looks away, to the voice that she knows so well, to see her father approaching, hand in hand with her mother. Charlotte has her hair down, past her shoulders, no make-up, and her glasses on. Eve can’t remember the last time she saw her mother so at ease. Johan is wearing a Christmas jumper, and the brightest smile she has ever seen. They were a striking couple when younger, yes, but Eve admits age didn’t change that at all. They look so in love, she’s grateful to have had that as an example of what loves is. Maybe it set her expectations too high, maybe that’s partially why it took her so long to get her own happiness, but she doesn’t care because holding the woman she loves in her arms makes it all worth it.
“Sorry, Mom, we will clean everything up.” Eve points at the mess of clothes and snowmen next to the Christmas tree.
“Oh, leave it. Your cousins will be here any moment. There’s no point in cleaning something that will only be worse by the end of the day.” Charlotte leans in to kiss her daughter’s cheek, then does the same to Annalise.
It’s still a bit shocking to see the changes in her mother. She’s still very much the dragon lady everyone knows, but there’s a softer side that is coming out more and more when it’s just them together. Eve loves it as much as she loves watching how her mother and Annalise get closer together.
“Grandpa!”
That’s the other development in her life that Eve is so happy about. Looking towards the tiny voice she loves more than life itself, Eve can’t help but smile broadly. She sees Tegan, wearing jeans and a white jumper with a turtleneck that is way too big for her, yet somehow works, because if there’s one thing Tegan Price can work is fashion. She’s holding Mia’s tiny hand in one hand, the little girl letting go immediately to run towards her grandparents. On the other hand, she holds Vanessa’s hand, who couldn’t smile bigger even if she tried. Vanessa wears a puff jacket and her own pair of jeans. They look casual, and so happy.
“If it isn’t my favourite petal.” Johan leans down to pick the little girl up, but Mia beelines for Charlotte, who laughs at her husband's incredulous face. She picks the girl up, setting her on her hip, and welcomes the kiss and hug, reciprocating in kind.
“Hello, my little treasure. Did you sleep well?” Eve hopes she never gets used to this feeling of seeing her mother and her daughter together. She used to dream of things like this, now she gets to witness it wide awake.
“Yes! Tegan read me the laws, it was awesome!”
Eve raises a perfect brow towards her friend, while Annalise snorts into her mug of hot chocolate. Tegan, for her part, avoids everyone’s eyes. Johan puts his hands on his waist, getting everyone’s attention.
“Now, this isn’t fair. Fighting against three lawyers was bad enough, but now it’s five? I can’t win.” The exaggerated dramatics makes everyone laugh, but Mia turns on her grandmother’s hold, and pats her grandfather’s arm very seriously.
“Don’t worry, Grandpa. I still like bodies, too.”
The groups burst out laughing, the girl having no clue what she said that is so funny, but laughing along with the grown-ups. Until her eye spots something far more fun, making her wiggle out of Charlotte’s arms and taking off running in the opposite direction.
“Luca!”
Everyone looks in the direction Mia runs to, seeing Camilla coming through the doors with her husband, and their boy. Mia’s favourite cousin. The kids clash in a strong embrace, as if they hadn’t seen each other in ages, even though they played till exhaustion the day before. But hours are like years, in child time. Camilla strokes both kids’ heads before continuing her way towards the adults.
Eve smiles at the sight of her cousin. She’s shorter than Eve, dirty blonde hair and eyes that seem to change from green to blue depending on the light, eyes that capture everyone’s attention. Being Spencer’s oldest child, it was very easy for them to hit it off as kids. Knowing Camilla was bisexual also made it easy for them to connect and stay in touch through the years, even if not as much as they both wanted. Having reconnected at last year’s chaotic party, but not having see each other until yesterday, due to schedules and life in general, Eve is more than happy that her cousin said yes to her mother’s little family reunion.
“Good morning, family.” Camilla greets them, before leaning in to kiss her uncle and aunt, and then everyone else. Her husband, with his black medium size hair, dark eyes, and very European style, greets them with a small wave and nod.
They chat aimlessly for a few minutes, asking Camilla and Lorenzo if the room was to their liking, how Luca is doing, about to start school next year, and if they brought enough clothes to stay a few days. Because Charlotte prepared every single room in the mansion to accommodate as many family members as possible, and she’s not about to have her plans thwarted over lack of clothing. They’re spending Christmas together, all of them for the whole three days of Christmas, no matter what. Camilla laughs at her aunt’s determination, reassuring her that all is well, and they’re excited to have this first family Christmas together.
Tegan feels Vanessa shiver, and excuses herself to grab hot chocolate, since they seem to be hell-bent on staying outside until breakfast is ready. Annalise offers to help, giving Eve a peck before walking away with her friend. Johan and Lorenzo checked out of the women’s conversation a long time ago, slowly walking to the other end of the garden, talking about football or something else that neither of the women really care about. Charlotte excuses herself with some pretext about checking with the kitchen how long until breakfast, when she just knows the younglings want to chat amongst themselves.
Which they do, as soon as she’s out of earshot.
“I cannot believe you wouldn’t move to New York for me, but moved to Philadelphia for her!” Eve shoots at Vanessa, who only smirks and shrugs.
“Jesus, easy cousin. No need to attack the woman like that so early in the morning.” Camilla tries to hide her smile by biting her lip.
“It’s alright, Cammie. Your cousin likes to act as if she’s the only one allowed to make stupid decisions for women.”
“So, you do admit it was for her.” Eve smiles triumphantly.
“I have no clue what you’re on about.” Vanessa shrugs nonchalantly.
“Come on, Van. Tell us. Do you really like her?” Camilla looks at Tegan, who’s far away from them, involved in conversation with Annalise. “I mean, I don’t blame you. I would’ve packed my bags and moved, too, for that one.” She doesn’t try to hide how her eyes wander the manager’s body.
“Back off, Conti.” Vanessa hits her shoulder, breaking Camilla’s focus.
“What does Lorenzo think of that, little cousin?” Eve asks, amused.
“He thinks that I’m married, not blind .” Camilla shrugs. “I love my husband, it doesn’t mean I stopped appreciating women.”
“Find another one to appreciate.” Vanessa grumbles at Camilla’s side, making the other two women chuckle at the jealously coming out of the dark-haired lawyer.
“Does that mean we’re right?” Camilla pushes, very much entertained with this whole thing.
Vanessa sighs, rubs her forehead in thought. A gesture Eve knows well, something the other woman does when she’s trying to organise her thoughts. She smiles, it’s a good sign.
“Of course I like her, I wouldn’t pack my life and move away, with a child , for someone I didn’t like. But…” The other two women wait expectantly for her to continue her train of thought. The playfulness dropping a notch, the conversation taking a more serious tone. “I have no clue where this is going. I have no plans. And it’s not like we moved in together, I just moved into the city. But we do see each other more, and it’s going great… Mia loves her, and it’s great to be closer to you.” She looks at Eve, who smiles, sharing the feeling. “But I have no expectations. I’m having fun, she’s… Fun.”
“So our child keeps saying.” Eve rolls her eyes for effect, taking a sip of her hot chocolate, but very happy with the fact her daughter gets along with her friend.
“There’s nothing wrong with not having any plans. Sometimes, that’s the best way to go about it.” Camilla presses Vanessa’s arm encouragingly.
“Just let yourself be happy, Van. You deserve it.” Eve gives her a smile, Vanessa reading the unspoken words in her eyes. She nods and thanks them both.
“She’s a good kid.” Camilla is looking at the children playing and laughing in the snow. “You two are doing a great job.” Both mothers smile proudly.
“I hope they keep that friendship forever.” Eve’s lips break in a big smile, happy to see how close the cousins are. Even though Luca is a few years older, the boy still engages in whatever Mia drags him into, willingly and happily.
“We did it.” Camilla quips, sure that the kids will be as close as their mothers.
“We didn’t see each other for years, Cammie.”
“Because someone decided that dead men walking were more important than family.”
“Or maybe because someone shipped off to Italy over some art excuse.” Eve fires back, making Camilla break out laughing.
The blonde looks over at her husband, who is very animated talking with his father-in-law. She bites her lip, flashes of her time in Italy passing before her eyes. “Well, it paid off, didn’t it?” The other two women laugh at the stupid look on her face. “Besides, phones were invented for a reason. We still stayed in touch.”
“Sure. But it would’ve been nice to have been there at your wedding.” There’s a pang of sorrow in Eve’s words. All the things she missed because her life was a mess and work was the only thing keeping her grounded.
“It would’ve been nice to have been there when your daughter was born.” Camilla’s smile is a sad one, sharing on her cousin’s regrets.
“Well,” Vanessa puts one hand on each woman’s back. “We’re all here now, and this is a new beginning. No point in dwelling on the past. From now on, we’ll all be in each other lives, and no more missing important events.”
Eve and Camilla share a smile, silently agreeing with Vanessa. Then, Camilla’s smile turns mischievous.
“Yes, Eve, we’ll all be there for Vanessa’s wedding with the hot lawyer.”
Eve laughs, shoulders shaking. Vanessa scowls.
“I hate you both.” The younger woman says, her hands falling from the women’s back, making them laugh harder.
Camilla sobers up, looking at the children laughing. “I hope Mia doesn’t mind sharing, though.”
Eve looks at her cousin, brows furrowed, until she sees Camilla’s hands on her stomach, and the soft smile on her lips. “You’re pregnant?!”
At the blonde’s nod of confirmation, Vanessa latches onto her in a fierce hug. “Congratulations!”
Eve envelops both women in a hug, her smile so big it almost hurts.
“We were thinking, since the whole family will be in the same spot, at the same time, we would share the news. But I wanted you guys to know first.”
“I’m so happy for you, cousin.”
“Thank you. There’s another thing.” She looks up at Eve, her lips partying in a big smile. “We would like you and Annalise to be the tiny one’s godmothers.”
Tears gather in brown eyes quicker than Eve can control them. She bites her lip and nods, unable to form words. Camilla hugs her cousin, strongly, and Eve reciprocates. Vanessa smiles at the cousins, happy that everything is finally falling into its rightful place.
*
“So, when are you going to ask her to move in?”
“Jesus, Annalise!” Tegan almost drops the mug full of the very hot, sweet liquid she came to pick. She throws the professor a disapproving look.
“What? Don’t pretend you don’t want to.” Annalise says around a mouthful of grapes she’s been nibbling on while waiting for breakfast.
“Just because you U-hauled with your lesbian, doesn’t mean I have to do the same with mine.” She avoids looking at the other woman, knowing exactly what she’ll see. Because she just heard the words that left her mouth, and she wishes she could go back in time fifteen seconds and swallow them back.
“She’s your lesbian, is she?” There’s no need to look to see the smirk on Annalise’s lips.
Tegan thinks of a funny retort, but the truth is, she needs to talk about the conflict of feelings going on inside her, and her best friend is the perfect person for the job. She sighs, then turns to Annalise.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. She just moved to Philly, and things are great, but…” Annalise raises a brow and dips her chin, encouraging her friend to continue. “She has a kid, and because of the distance between us before, we haven’t really spent that much time together. And I don’t want to rush into things and scare her off.”
The professor takes a moment to truly look at her friend. Tegan is holding herself back, it’s clear as day, and Annalise hates it. Despite everyone seeing Tegan Price as this brash, fast-talking, no nonsense lawyer, Annalise knows there’s so much more beyond that persona that not many people have had the privilege of seeing. She also knows exactly why Tegan chooses to hide that side of herself, which only makes Annalise hate it more. But things are changing, if the last year has been any indication, happiness is finally entering their lives and Annalise wants her friend to embrace it, instead of keeping it at bay.
“You won’t scare her off. Vanessa was not willing to leave San Francisco, for any reason , until you burst into her life in a splash of rainbow and sarcasm.” Tegan snorts at the choice of words.
“I don’t know, Annalise. This could very well end in six months, and we stay just as friends.”
“Or maybe this is the magical love you’ve been waiting for since Cora broke your heart.” Tegan looks away, that name still hurting her deep in her heart. “You don’t have to ask her to move in, if you’re not ready. But don’t deny yourself this happiness, my friend. I know what I see when the two of you are together. Embrace it, don’t hold back.” Tegan offers a grateful smile. “Besides, Mia worships the ground you walk on. There is no problem there, whatsoever.”
The manager smirks. “I did tell your wife we would get along like a house on fire.”
“She’s not my wife.” Annalise throws Tegan a pointed look.
“Only because you refuse to pop the question.”
“We don’t need a piece of paper to confirm anything. Besides, I’m happy with the way things are.”
“Are you? There’s nothing else missing?”
Annalise feigns contemplation, popping another grape in her mouth. “There might be something else.” She starts walking away, inside the house. “But we only open presents at midnight.” The smirk is teasing and very suggestive.
“What? Annalise.” Tegan looks disbelieving, following her friend’s path with her eyes. “Annalise? Is your wife about to open a sex toy in front of the whole family?” Annalise doesn’t stop to look at her friend, continuing her path, laughter trailing behind her. “Annalise!” Tegan rushes after her friend.
*
One after the other, family members arrive at the house. Eve prides herself in introducing Annalise to each one of them, happy to share this part of her life with her family, and not afraid of how it will be received. It’s not like she’s the only lesbian in the Clifford clan anyway. The joy at seeing everyone again it’s clear, making Annalise happy to be witnessing it first hand.
Charlotte, on the other hand, gets more and more anxious with each passing hour. Her brothers are nowhere to be seen. Despite her husband’s efforts at trying to calm her down, nothing seems to work. Eve asks Camilla if her father mentioned coming to the gathering, her cousin shrugging and mumbling a “I don’t know” , that does nothing to help Eve, or her mother.
Jamie arrives after lunch, having flown from Paris overnight. Eve barely recognises her cousin, who looks sheepish at first, not sure how to engage with the people she hasn’t seen in years. Charlotte engulfs the girl in a warmth hug, shocking everyone in the room. Eve introduces her to Mia, who is very curious about the drawings covering Jamie’s arms, and her very short hair. She asks Eve if she can draw on her arms too, and cut her hair. Her mother grimaces for a second, giving her daughter a clipped “Sure, honey. In a few years” much to Vanessa’s delight, who laughs at the other woman’s short passing discomfort. Moving on, to avoid dwelling on what her daughter’s rebel years will bring, Eve introduces Annalise to Jamie, her cousin blushing furiously.
“I read the news about you. The way you stood in front of those people… Cool stuff.”
Annalise smiles at the young woman, finding the blush and nervousness very cute. She barely has time to say thank you before Camilla barrels in, hugging Jamie sideways. The young woman shifting on her feet from the impact.
“Hey, Sis! Love the new additions.” The blonde says, pointing at her sister’s tattooed arms.
Eve shakes her head and smiles, not surprised that Camilla kept in touch with her younger sister, knowing her cousin was probably the only one Jamie welcomed.
“Yeah, when are you going to let me do the same to you?” The young blonde smirks at her sister when she sees the grimace on her face.
“No, thanks. I like pain in other ways.” She shrugs. Jamie blushes at her sister’s bluntness.
“Jesus Christ, Camilla.” Eve rolls her eyes at her cousin’s antics, shaking her head when Annalise only laughs.
Keith arrives with his husband a few hours later, holding hands tightly, as if trying to gather as much courage as possible. He is assaulted immediately by a crowd of unhinged siblings and cousins, who trip over each other to greet him and meet the handsome man at his side. Keith is Robert’s second son, one of Eve’s oldest cousins, and it strikes her at that moment that the only memory she has of him is right before he left. With no explanation. It dawns on her that having the parents she has, and being somewhat disconnected from the family, gave her the freedom to be who she is without much fear. Something that her cousin didn’t experience. It breaks her heart that Keith had to leave the country to have the freedom to be who he is, breaking away from the family that should’ve supported him. No matter, they’re all here now, ready to make up for all the lost time. Camilla is already working on it, making her cousin blush with one of her very pointed remarks. Everyone laughs. Yes, looking around her, Eve knows, deep in her soul, that her family can recover from all the wounds left by Nicolas.
*
They find Tegan and Vanessa sitting by a window, not talking, just watching and smiling at Mia playing with her cousins. Annalise and Eve sit beside them, passing glasses of wine.
“You know, Rothlo, you never told me you had such a big family.” Tegan looks around the ballroom. The setting much more cosy than the one last year, much more comfortable, prompting easy conversation between everyone. There are some groups forming, naturally, the older ones gathering, while the young ones gravitate intuitively towards each other. Kids play around, running freely, unafraid to cause any sort of chaos. Everything happening under the watchful eyes of Johan and Charlotte.
“Well, I haven’t seen most of them since I was a kid. I didn’t know if they had married, and had kids, or not.” Eve shrugs, takes a sip of her wine, trying to hide the small twinge of regret. Annalise squeezes her hand beside her, in support.
“Everyone together… It’s nice.” Vanessa smiles at the group in front of her, lifting her glass when a young man lifts his own towards her. Everyone has been welcoming and warm towards her and Mia, even though they don’t know the full story, they don’t care. She’s family, that’s all that matters, and for Vanessa that’s more than enough.
“I like the tattooed one.” Tegan points out, eyebrows up suggestively.
“Oh, really?” Vanessa looks at her, teasing smile in place. “Should I get another one?”
“You can get as many as you like.” Tegan smiles back, her eyes drifting to the lips getting closer and closer to her.
“You have a tattoo?! Since when? Where?” Eve breaks the moment, curiosity, and shock in her features.
“See, this is the kind of thing you gave up when you made your choice, Rothlo. These secrets are all mine, now.” Tegan smirks, eyebrows wiggling, breaking into a laugh at Eve’s groan.
“This.” She looks at Annalise, who’s far too amused. “This is exactly what I feared when they got together.”
Annalise pats the knee closer to her, doing her best to hide the grin. “You’ll be fine, sweetheart.”
Eve groans again. Then looks at the large entrance to the ballroom, seeing the couple walking in. She gets up without warning, causing Annalise to get up as well, concerned with the sudden shift on her partner. “I’m not sure my mother will.”
She can hear Vanessa’s “Oh sh*t” from behind her, while she walks towards her mother, who is rooted to the spot. On the opposite side of the room, Eve sees Camilla and Jamie holding their breath. The man stops, looking at Charlotte. Even from this distance, Eve can see tears pooling in her mother’s eyes. She’s about to step closer to her mother, Annalise right beside her, when Johan pulls her back. This is their moment, and their moment alone. Eve looks at Keith, who holds his husband’s hand so tightly she can see the white of his knuckles.
The woman beside the man tugs at his arm, whispers something in his ear and, after giving her a nod, he steps forward. One could hear a pin drop in the middle of this ballroom.
“Hello, little sister.”
Robert has a slick haircut, his hair almost completely grey, a well trimmed beard covering his face, his eyes are dark and kind, behind the glasses. He’s taller than Charlotte, forcing her to look up when they are barely one step apart.
“It’s good to see you, big brother.”
This is it, this is the “make it or break it” of this evening. Whatever comes from this moment will define the entire endeavour. Eve doesn’t dare breathe, afraid of interrupting the reuniting siblings. Charlotte can’t hold the tears any more, and with one final step, she pulls her brother into a powerful hug. The whole room exhales. Eve sees tears spill from her uncle’s eyes, the woman behind him, the aunt she barely remembers, is equally emotional. Looking at her dad, she sees the same tears, as well as a proud smile. Annalise squeezes her hand, and Eve smiles at her partner, relief flooding her entire body.
“I missed you, Charlie.” Robert whispers into his sister’s hair.
“I missed you, Rob.” She pulls away, wipes the tears from her cheeks. Eve sees her mother, for the first time, not caring about being openly emotional in front of people. It makes her proud, and hopeful for the future. “I’m so glad you came.”
Robert looks around, at all the faces he hasn’t seen in so many years, his eyes lingering on Keith, the middle of his four kids. The other three, joining their brother, in support. His wife comes closer, takes his hand, encouraging him to not stop now, to keep pushing forward. To undo the pain caused by years under Nicolas’ ruling. He squeezes back, then steps forward. Charlotte greets her sister-in-law with a warm embrace, both women happy to see each other again.
Robert stops in front of Eve, Annalise on one side and Johan on the other, but his eyes are squared on his niece. His smile is kinder than Eve remembers, his eyes softer. She doesn’t say anything, waits for her uncle to say the first word.
“Eve.” His smile widens. “You grew up.” He tilts his head, amused at his own observation. Eve chuckles.
“Hi, uncle. It’s good to see you again.” She steps in, hugging him, his broad arms welcoming her.
Johan shakes his hand, thanking him for coming, telling Robert how much it means to his wife that he accepted the invitation, even though it’s unmistakable how happy Charlotte is. Eve introduces Annalise, who shakes Robert’s hand cordially. There’s no awkwardness or ill will behind the gesture. Eve introduces Annalise as her partner, and Robert accepts it for what it is, smiling openly at his niece.
It’s at this moment that Eve hears the contained commotion at her side, catching Keith walking towards them with defiance in his eyes, dragging his husband behind him. His siblings trying to hold him back, to no avail. Robert sees it too, and turns, facing his child. Margo, his wife, holds her breath, her hands going to her mouth, holding in a gasp at seeing her little boy all grown-up. Charlotte keeps her hand on her sister-in-law’s shoulder in support.
“Father.” Keith’s voice is strained, despite his efforts at looking unperturbed. Robert opens his mouth but is cut short because Keith pulls his husband forward. “This is Daniel, my husband. We got married ten years ago.” There’s a moment of silence, his father’s last words towards him ringing in his ears. Robert is older now, and Keith wonders if wisdom truly comes with age.
“Hello, son.” He is clearly taken aback by the situation, a whirlwind of emotions going through him. His red rimmed eyes, and balled fists, speaking volumes. He turns towards Daniel, the man standing there, comforting his husband as much as possible with his presence. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Daniel. I hope you make my boy happy.” His eyes turn back to Keith, who’s resolve is weaning with each word leaving his father’s mouth. “He deserves nothing less.”
Keith can’t hold it any more, tears leaving wet paths on his face. Standing face to face, everyone can see how much they look alike. Taking one step closer, Keith hugs his father, quietly sobbing on his shoulder. Robert holds his son for the first time in years, and speaks the words Keith always wanted to hear for his entire life.
“I love you, son. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”
He reaches for his wife, who’s openly crying as well, and brings her into the hug. The rest of their kids rush towards them, making this beautiful family hug. There isn’t a single dry eye in the room, all tears of happiness.
“And I thought last Christmas was going to be the craziest one I’ve ever been to.” Tegan speaks between sniffles, making Vanessa giggle beside her.
*
Everyone under the age of ten is upstairs having a nap, otherwise nobody is making it till midnight to open presents. Dinner is upon them, everyone is engaged in happy conversation, some banter, while some couples are too immersed in each other to even noticed what’s happening around them. Eve expected the youngsters to be the worst of them all, but it turns out her own parents are the worst. Charlotte and Johan can’t seem to take their eyes off each other, and occasional hands. While Eve is mortified at the extreme PDA, she’s also happy that her mother is so blissful and comfortable that she doesn’t care about what it might look like to those present. It’s also the perfect excuse for Eve to pine Annalise against a wall, in a semi hidden corner, and have a good make-out session. To release some tension, of course, but also because she misses the woman’s lips more than anything.
Everyone is distracted, meaning no one sees the couple walking into the ballroom. They stop, the man laughing at the scene. Nobody cares that he just walked in. Of all the possible scenarios he came up with, this was not on his list.
“About f*cking time.” Camilla reaches over, on tiptoes, and hugs her father.
“Watch it, Camilla. I taught you better than that.” He is definitely the younger of the Clifford heirs, and much more relaxed. His brown hair tidied in a bun, his features soft, his eyes with a glint of mischief that explains why Camilla is the way she is.
“You also taught me to not be late.” She looks pointedly at her father, who smiles and nods towards his wife.
“You can blame your mother for that.” It earns him an elbow to the rib, making him recoil, laughing.
The woman, about Camilla’s height, red hair in a sharp bob, blue eyes that roll at her husband, and red painted lips contrasting with her smooth porcelain skin, reaches over for her daughter. She kisses Camilla’s cheek, careful not to leave a mark. “Don’t listen to your father, darling. This is all his fault, him and his nerves.”
“A man is allowed some nerves when he’s about to see all the people he thought he would never see together in the same room, ever again.” He adjusts his jacket, a sign of how nervous he is.
Evan, Camilla’s brother, greets his parents briefly. Camilla and Evan are the ones Spencer and Julia see more often, but upon her mother’s wandering gaze, Camilla points at the spot where Jamie stands, unsure of herself. Julia’s vision gets blurry, the sight of her baby making her feet move of their own volition. Camilla smiles softly, seeing her mother walking towards her baby sister, she puts one arm around Spencer, who visibly holds back tears of his own. Evan stands by his father other side, put his arm on tops of his sister. Spencer puts his arms around his children’s shoulders, and the three follow in Julia’s footsteps.
Tegan is the first to catch the scene, calling Vanessa’s attention to hit, who runs to get Annalise and Eve, rolling her eyes when she sees them like two teenagers going at it in secret. One by one, everyone’s eyes turn towards the younger Cliffords. A gasp fills the room, Charlotte covering her mouth at seeing her younger brother, she doesn’t move, choosing to give this moment to Spencer and Julia, who are seeing their youngest for the first time in a very long time.
Julia stops right in front of Jamie, who scratches the back of her head awkwardly. Her child was always sensitive, and so very different from everyone else. They struggled when she was younger, not knowing how to handle someone like Jamie, who saw the world so differently than everyone else. Spencer having the hardest time handling it, a product of his own upbringing, it all slowly pushed Jamie away. They didn’t hate her, they never did, they just didn’t know how to accept her. So, she left, removing herself to save everyone from the uncomfortable situation. Julia knows Camilla is the only one that stayed in touch, regularly, with Jamie. Despite her boisterous behaviour, the redhead knows her oldest has a heart the size of the world, having always been the one who connected and understood better her younger sister. She always took comfort in knowing both her girls stayed close, even if it made her feel guilty and a failure as a mother to not have done better.
Knowing she’s to blame for the distance between them, Julia keeps her hands at her side, giving Jamie full control of the moment.
“Hello, sweetheart.” Her voice is heavy with tears. “You look…” She takes a moment to look her daughter up and down, the tattoos, the short half-shaved hair, the piercings. Jamie braces herself, not sure what her mother has to say about her choices in life. “Beautiful.”
Tears fall down Jamie’s face, she rubs them away with the sleeve of her shirt.
“Hi, Mom.” She sniffles. “It’s good to see you again.”
Julia smiles wetly, happy that her youngling is speaking to her. A voice from behind makes her chuckle, spurring her on.
“For the love of f*cks sake, just hug already.”
She really has to do something about her eldest choice of words, but right now she doesn’t care, because Jamie steps forward, timidly, and that’s all the reassurance Julia needs. She throws her arms around her daughter and holds her for dear life. Jamie hides her face in the crook of her mother’s neck, tears falling freely.
“I missed you, my baby.”
“I missed you too, Mom.”
Spencer reaches over, one hand on top of his youngest’s shoulder. Jamie looks up, into her father’s teary eyes, she lets’s go of her mother to embrace her father. Her face hiding in his chest. “Hi, dad.” It’s muffled by his shirt, but it makes him smile. He plants a kiss on top of her head.
“Hello, Bug.” His arms tighten around her. “It’s so very good to see you again.”
Camilla hugs her mother, while Evan stands there, arms crossed, smiling at the happy reunion.
A throat clearing behind Spencer forces him to pull away from his child, his smile widening at the sight of his sister.
“Any room for one more? I’d like a hug too.” Charlotte is all smiles, joyous at seeing her brother again.
Spencer laughs, hugs his sister without waiting, lifting her off her feet for a moment. Charlotte’s giggles echo in the room, while Spencer laughs. “Hello, Sis.”
The matriarch pulls away, one hand cupping her brother’s cheek. She never thought she would be this happy again, she can only thank her lucky stars for all the joy bestowed upon her in the last year, but especially today.
“Hello, baby brother.” She turns serious for a moment. “Not nice to make everyone wait for so long.”
“Ah, my wife and my daughter already scolded me enough, thank you.”
“I’m your older sister, I get scolding rights before anyone else.”
“But I’m your handsome younger brother, surely you can excuse me.”
They chuckle, their old sibling banter back like it never left. Spencer takes a look around the room, seeing everyone but, mostly, seeing the differences in the place. He smiles, proud that the darkness that used to decorate this house has been completely replaced by happiness and warmth.
“I like what you did with the place.”
“Well, you did say it could use some colour.”
“And that you were the perfect person for the job. I was right on both accounts.”
He’s smug, and proud, much like when they were young. Charlotte chuckles, shaking her head, her little brother not having changed much beyond the extra lines on his face and the first signs of grey sprinkled on his hair.
“Uncle Spencer.”
Eve smiles at him, happy beyond words to see the man she always considered her favourite uncle. He sweeps her off her feet immediately, which is a bit awkward since, with heels, she has a few inches on him. She laughs, holding on to her uncle. Julia and Charlotte shake their heads at Spencer’s behaviour. Despite his age, the young Clifford still acts like the younger version of himself.
“You grew up, Little Rothlo!” He settles her down, the most vibrant smile on his lips. “I saw how much you have accomplished. Making a name for yourself.”
“You followed my career?” Disbelief colours her words. For a second she wonders why he never reached out, if he knew so much about her, but she reminds herself this is a Clifford. He might be the most laid back Clifford of the bunch, but a Clifford nonetheless, and old lessons are hard to forget. The bigger part of her is proud, and so damn happy, that her uncle never forgot about her.
“Of course. Your aunt always told me I might need a criminal lawyer one day, so I thought I should keep an eye on the best one around.” He winks. Julia slaps him on the chest with the back of her hand, rolling her eyes. Charlotte chuckles, giving her sister-in-law a sympathetic look. Spencer eye’s shift towards Annalise, standing beside Eve, as she has been for the entire day. “You must be Annalise.” He stretches his hand, she grabs it right away, shaking gently. “Pleasure to meet you. I will grill you at a later date about your intentions towards my niece…” Eve rolls her eyes at her uncle and his feigned serious tone. “Bur for now, I’m glad she found someone to love her the way she deserves. And congratulations on your trial. It mustn’t be easy, standing in front of all those people and speaking your truth.” Annalise nods, keeping the emotions at bay, she says a low “thank you” and leaves it at that. “I’m sure I’m late to this, but welcome to the Cliffords. We’re a weird bunch, but I’m sure we’ll grow on you.”
Everyone laughs, it's so loud Eve worries, for a moment, that the sound might wake the kids upstairs. No matter, the butler comes in announcing dinner is ready to be served. Everyone starts walking towards the big dinner room, chatting and laughing. Until Spencer stops in his tracks, locking eyes with his older brother, who he hasn’t seen since before he got married. All notion of mischief and fun drops from his face, there’s a speck of hurt in the younger Clifford’s eyes. Robert steps closer to his brother, his expression open.
“Hello, brother.” Robert is slightly apprehensive. Despite his jovial spirit, he knows Spencer can be equally harsh. He only hopes the spirit of Christmas grants them one last blessing, before the night ends.
“Finally remembered where your family is?” There’s resentment and hurt in his words. Robert flinches, but stands his ground.
“Spencer.” Charlotte steps closer to her brother, one hand on his arm, her voice calm. This is not the first time she has had to step in between one of her brothers’ rifts. “Please. Not today.”
He doesn’t look at his sister, choosing to keep his steely gaze locked on his brother. But her words reach him, and a crack appears in his armour. Robert sees it too, and takes advantage of it, hoping it’s the opening he needs.
“You can yell at me all you want tomorrow.” He takes another step forward, they’re close enough to touch, if Robert is ever so lucky. “But today, can I get a hug from my little brother?”
Spencer’s chin trembles. “You shouldn’t have left.” He says between gritted teeth. “It was supposed to be yours.” The burden of the family business was always something that Spencer wishes he didn’t have to carry. It was meant for the eldest son, the heir. But when Robert left, tired of being subjected to their father’s hard opinions, Spencer didn’t find it in himself to refuse. Charlotte had already turned down the offer, and he couldn’t leave the fate of the family in the hands of some stranger. He hated it. At the beginning, he despised it, never feeling like he was good enough, like he was doing a good enough job. It was never his dream. Nevertheless, the company thrived, they were more successful than ever before, yet Spencer couldn’t help but resent his brother for having forced this situation upon him.
“No.” Robert tentatively reaches over, putting a hand on top of his brother’s shoulder. He waits to see if it will be swatted away, and when it isn’t, he smiles. “It was always meant for you. And you are brilliant at it.”
Hearing his brother’s praise, Spencer lets the tears fall. He hugs Robert, tightly, both men not caring that a whole room of people are seeing them in such an emotional state. They stay in it for a long moment, years of hurt washing away. Charlotte taps Robert’s shoulder, asking permission to join the hug. Both brothers break apart enough to engulf their sister in the middle, laughing and squeezing her between them. The three Clifford children have the same thought, how appalled their father would be if he could see them now, so openly emotional, so carefree, so different from what he wanted. They laugh harder at the thought, for once, not caring about what Nicolas wanted, finally free from their father’s impossible expectations.
*
“You, Cliffords, are way more intense than I expected.”
Tegan approaches Eve from behind. The lawyer is leaning against a wall, watching everyone gathering around the tree. It’s almost time to open presents. She snorts at her friend’s comment.
“What, you thought you were the only one with a dramatic bone in the bunch?” She accepts the glass of eggnog that Tegan offers her, taking a sip.
“No. But I certainly didn’t expect this . I feel like I’ve cried more than in the last five years put together.”
Eve chuckles. Her smile turns soft, looking at her family, her entire family, tripping over each other while arranging themselves around the big tree in the even bigger sitting room. Mia passes from arm to arm, giggling, loved by everyone. Vanessa is in deep conversation with Jamie and Camilla, tracing one of Jamie’s tattoo, the topic of conversation very clear. Annalise chats with Charlotte, Julia, and Margo, the three women laughing at something the professor said. Robert slaps Spencer’s hand away when his younger brother tries to get a sneak peek into one of the wrapped boxes. They laugh. There’s joy and laughter all around, and it fills Eve with such an enormous amount of happiness she feels she could burst.
“It’s healing, Tegan. Years of trauma, finally healing.” Her voice his so soft, she can’t tear her eyes away, but she doesn’t have to, to know her friend is smiling too.
“It’s all thanks to you.” At Eve’s furrowed brow, Tegan chuckles. “My mother used to tell me that, just like sadness breeds sadness, happiness also breeds happiness. You marched in here, a year ago, and forced upon everyone the realness of your emotions. Especially your mother, you showed that, sometimes, we have to fight hard for what we want, and we have to wait, a long time , but it’s all worth it. It all pays off, in the end.”
The tall woman chuckles, looking down for a moment. “Well, that didn’t have much to do with me.” Her eyes drift to Annalise, as they always do. As, she knows, they always will. “It’s all thanks to her, Tegan.”
“Yeah, she’s not bad. But don’t cut yourself short. If it wasn’t for your unrelenting love for her, she wouldn’t be standing there. Laughing with rich, white people, as if they’ve been best friends forever.” Tegan puts a hand on top of her friend’s arm, asking for attention. When brown eyes lock with hers, she smiles. “She’s magic, yes, but it’s your stubbornness that made all of this possible. Take the victory, my friend, you deserve it.”
Eve nods, and watches her friend joining the mess of people fighting for places to sit, and boxes to open. She smiles. Maybe Tegan is right, maybe this is all thanks to her. Yet she can’t help but feel like it’s all thanks to Annalise Harkness choosing to love her, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together. Whatever the reason, she is grateful for all of it.
*
Kids are asleep in the most awkward positions. It’s well past two in the morning, there's wrapping paper scattered all over the floor, boxes tore apart all around, and children bent in all sorts of ways, sleeping, completely unbothered by the adults never ceasing conversation. Vanessa walks over to Mia, whose head rests on the arm of the couch, soft snores leaving her little body. She smiles, before bending to lift the little girl up, only to be stopped by Tegan, who offers to take the child upstairs to the room. Everyone agreed to stay the night, spend Christmas, and Boxing Day together, much to Charlotte’s delight. The kids will have to share rooms to accommodate everyone, but that’s a non-issue.
Vanessa and Tegan pass by Eve and Annalise, both women kissing the little girl’s forehead, watching her being carried away by Tegan. Those two really get along like a house on fire, and despite Eve pretending in annoys her, secretly she loves it. Her little girl doesn’t have a village loving and supporting her, she has a whole damn city, and Eve couldn’t be happier about it.
One by one, everyone starts retreating to their rooms. It’s been a long day, emotionally it feels like a long week, and everyone is ready for some much-needed rest. They all pass by the couple, saying their good nights. Until all that is left is a big Christmas tree, fully lit up, wrapping paper and boxes all over the floor, empty, and some half full glasses of eggnog, or regular wine, and Eve and Annalise.
The lawyer wraps her arms around Annalise from behind, her front fully pressed against Annalise’s back, while they look at the tree with the shinning star on top. They sway gently, on the spot. Annalise brings a hand to Eve’s cheek, the other one falling on top of Eve’s hands around her waist.
“That was a lot.”
Eve snorts. “You can say that again.”
“Are you happy?”
“Very much so.” Eve nods, kissing Annalise’s shoulder.
“Are you tired?”
The lawyer stifles a yawn, but nods affirmatively. “But I don’t want to go up just yet.”
Annalise turns in her arms, facing Eve, her own arms circling the taller woman’s neck. Their noses touch affectionately, Annalise smiles before kissing the soft lips she loves so much.
“Anna…”
“Yes?”
They whisper. Even though there’s no one in the room with them, they still want this to be just about them, for them.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything. Always.”
“What made you fall in love with me?” Annalise pulls away just enough to look Eve in the eyes, her brows furrowed. Eve chuckles. “I’ve told you mine. I was hooked from the first moment you smiled, true, but I fell deeply for your big heart. Your kind smile.” She contours Annalise’s lips with her finger. “Your determination. Your brain. You were shy, yes, but also so strong. It was over for me.”
Annalise grins, pink tinting her cheeks. She bites her lip, in thought. The answer is very clear, but it’s phrasing it that is hard. She exhales, accepting that whatever way it comes out, Eve will appreciate the honesty.
“Everyone I’ve ever been with always wanted something from me. Even those I didn’t give consent to, especially those, always took something from me. My intelligence, my body, the benefits of being seen with me. Whatever it was, that was always why they were with me, around me. Everyone. Picking apart, and choosing whichever bit suited them.” She inhales, holding the air in for a few seconds before releasing slowly. “You only ever wanted me . Just me. Everything that entails. The good, the bad, all in between. You never picked one part and stuck with it. You embraced all of me, without question. Not only that, but you accepted me, the entirety of me, without asking for anything in return. You loved me at my best, but more so at my worst. And you never judged me, you never stopped loving me. You were always kind, and patient. Sweet, and gentle. Caring. You loved me in ways I never thought possible.” She looks deep into brown eyes, shining with moisture. “How could I not love you?”
Eve kisses her. It’s all she can do, it’s all she wants to do for the rest of her days. She would live with her tongue down the other woman’s throat, and other parts of her body, if it wasn’t frowned upon. She’s so lucky for having this woman in her arms, and she will never take it for granted.
The need for air forces them apart, Annalise smiling brightly, mirroring Eve’s own smile. The professor untangles herself from the arms holding her, much to Eve’s displeasure, and walks backwards towards the windowsill behind the Christmas tree.
“I never gave you your present.” She reaches over, grabbing an envelope tucked far behind the tree, hidden from everyone’s eyes. Walking back to Eve’s eager arms, she pushes the envelope into the woman’s chest.
“I don’t need any presents.” Eve kisses her again, bites her upper lip for fun. “You’re the only present I ever want.” Her smile is teasing, but also genuine.
“Oh, good to know, it will save me a lot of money.” She laughs at Eve’s eye roll. “I’m serious. And if it makes you feel better, this one is for us .”
Curiosity peaked, Eve removes her arms from her woman’s waist, and grabs the envelope. As she opens it, two tickets fall from inside. Plane tickets. Brows creased, she turns the tickets in her hand, and laughter bubbles out of her at seeing the destination.
“I promised I’d give you Paris.” Annalise grins, happy at Eve’s reaction. “Now, I can’t really give you a whole city, unfortunately, but I can give you a week in it. And our hotel is right by the Sacré-Cœur.”
Eve giggles, her arms encircling Annalise again. Her forehead rests on the other woman’s, the smile still in place. “You’re insane.”
“I know it was a dream, one you probably never took seriously. But I did. Or part of me did. And I want to make all your dreams come true, Eve. Every single one of them. For as long as I’m alive.”
“You’re my dream, Annalise. Having you in my arms, is my biggest dream.”
“Well, you can have me in Paris.” She grins. Bumping her nose to the one in front of her, her voice gets more serious. “You can have me anywhere you want, whenever you want. I’m yours.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
They kiss again, slowly, taking the time to taste each other, feel the rise and fall of their chests, the beating of their hearts.
“I love you, Anna.”
“I love you, too.”
