Wood it Work - Narsil, dogbertcarroll (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Nine year old Willow Rosenberg was a girl on a mission. She loved reading and wanted to share that love with Xander and Jessie, more Xander than Jessie, who was currently deemed a poopyhead for a surprise water balloon attack while she was holding Harvey, who had taken three trips through the dryer to dry out. Fortunately her stuffed bear slash backpack absorbed all the water before it could ruin her books.

Xander and Jessie weren't big readers, unless there were lots of pictures and characters that gave the reader an unreasonable expectation of what the human body should look like AKA comic books. Fortunately Willow had just the thing to capture their attention-she had… Narnia!

A week later

"That was awesome!" Xander said when Willow finished reading the book aloud.

"Yeah," Jessie agreed. "I'm going to give those books on tapes thing a shot."

"What?" Willow asked confused.

"Hearing you read it was cool," Jessie told her, "much better than reading it myself, which is what those books on tape things are for, so I can read books without reading them."

"Okay," Willow said with a frown. While she didn't like the fact that he wouldn't be reading himself at least he'd be hearing some great books.

"Read the start again," Xander told her, clearly enthralled.

"Wouldn't you rather read it yourself?" she asked hopefully.

"It'll be faster if you read it while I copy it down," Xander told her, confusing her.

One Month Later…

"What do you think, Wils?"

Willow looked at the poorly made wardrobe. "It needs a lot of work," she admitted. "But it's a big improvement over your last one," she encouraged.

"I found a better source of wood than the scraps of plywood they let me have at the lumberyard," Xander explained.

"The nails look a lot neater too!"

"I think I got the hang of them," Xander agreed.

"I found a book on furniture making, an old one like you asked for," Willow said, holding out a large hardback book.

Xander accepted the book and skimmed through it, his eyes lighting up as he saw what was in it.

He would forever deny he squealed like a teenage girl at a concert, not that Willow noticed as he'd swept her up in a hug and kissed her cheek, thanking her profusely.

Willow suddenly found furniture making a fascinating field.

"I need a dictionary," Xander said.

"I have one at my house," Willow quickly said. "I could make us lunch!"

"How about WE make lunch?" Xander suggested, remembering a seven year old willow covered in flour and eggs from her attempts to make pancakes.

"You're thinking about the pancake incident, aren't you?" Willow accused, recognizing the look in his eye and the grin on his lips.

"Remember when we made spaghetti?" Xander asked not answering her.

"Yeah we made way too much, just like I said we would, and cleanup would have been easier if you'd listened to me beforehand, but it turned out great."

"Exactly, so if 'we' make lunch I expect nothing but success!"

"Then 'we' will clean up afterwards," Willow teased, knowing he'd tried to back out last time.

"Deal!"

That Night

Ira took Shelia's coat and put it away with his own when they stepped in the door.

"Something smells good," Shelia noted.

Ira followed her into the kitchen where they found a clean kitchen, enough meatloaf for a half dozen people warming in the oven, and a large pot of mashed potatoes and one of mixed vegetables. "Our little girl is almost old enough to take care of herself," he said proudly, as he saw the dinner she'd made for them.

"Certainly mature enough for us to attend some local conventions," Shelia said thoughtfully. "Just during the weekends of course."

"Of course," he agreed. They'd both been looking forward to a convention on sexual politics and bondage and discipline being held in San Diego, but it wasn't something they thought Willow should be exposed to until she was older.

The moment Xander saw Willow he knew something was wrong. He set down his sandpaper and walked over to her. "Are you okay?"

"Kinda, yeah… no," Willow admitted. "Mom and Dad are going to a convention and they said I'm old enough to look after myself for a couple of days…"

"Would you like me to come over?" Xander offered.

"Could you?" Willow asked hopefully eyes lighting up.

"It's summer, as long as I show up for dinner or tell them I'm eating at a friend's they won't even notice I'm gone," Xander replied.

Willow hugged him tightly, feeling guilty because she knew the trouble he was having at home and for once she was glad of it as it meant he had more time for her.

That Night

Willow set the table and Xander heated up the leftovers from what they'd made the day before. They talked about the latest movies and what cartoons they liked and then they cleaned up and washed the dishes together.

The fact that here parents were gone had faded from her thoughts, she'd just had dinner with Xander and talked about their days like her parents did, it was almost like she and Xander were a couple and she couldn't be happier.

Xander changed into his pajamas in the bathroom while Willow changed in her room. When he rejoined her she realized she hadn't thought about where he was going to sleep.

Xander hadn't considered it either and it'd been a couple of years since he'd slept over, (Willow's parents had stopped letting her have sleepovers with Jessie and Xander when she turned seven) so he simply climbed into her bed like he was used to.

Willow turned off the light and climbed into bed, sure that she didn't need a nightlight as her blush could probably be seen from space. Mustering up her courage she planned out what she was going to say and then squeaked out the word, "Boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend," Xander agreed grabbing her hand under the covers.

They fell asleep holding hands and smiling.

Willow and Xander looked over their newest creation. With Willow helping to puzzle out some of the more difficult passages they'd made a sea chest using methods of construction that had gone out of style at the turn of the century. Carefully sanded and fitted wood was fastened together using wooden pegs soaked in water and hammered in place using a wooden mallet.

Sitting in the front yard drinking lemonade they admired the fruits of their labor.

"OK, I admit this way of putting together furniture is superior," Xander said. "It takes a lot more preparation to get everything ready, but it fits together a lot better."

"The book says we need whale oil and beeswax for the finish," Willow said.

"I know where to get whale oil," Xander said.

"Where?" Willow asked curiously.

"None of your beeswax," Xander replied and started tickling her.

After the tickle fight had finished, Willow asked, "Do you really know where to get whale oil?"

"No, but the furniture place downtown has been there since forever, so they might know," Xander replied. "We'll take it down there and ask."

"It's kinda heavy," Willow pointed out, not looking forward to trying to carry it onto the bus.

"Jessie's been looking for an excuse to drive Uncle Rory's truck again anyway," Xander offered.

"We almost got caught last time," Willow reminded him.

"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades," Xander replied with an enthusiastic grin.

"I'll get the police scanner," Willow said with a sigh, knowing there was no arguing him out of it and wanting to be there to help keep him out of trouble.

"We'll take back alleys all the way," Xander promised.

"Just make sure there's room under the seat for me to hide if we get pulled over," Willow said.

"We'll wear our troll masks," Xander added, "that way they won't even recognize us!"

Half an hour later…

The approaching officer took one look at the three figures in the truck and immediately turned and left, not saying a word.

"Good call on the masks," Jessie said starting the truck back up.

"Weird," Willow said, relieved she wasn't going to have to call her parents for bail money.

"Your driving is getting better," Xander told Jessie, "you only hit three trash cans on that last block."

"It's hard to see out of my mask," Jessie admitted.

"I told you to widen the eye-holes," Willow said before giving him an order, "Trade masks with me."

Taking off and switching masks only took a couple of seconds.

"I can see!" Jessie exclaimed like a blind man opening his eyes for the first time.

"I'm nearly blind in this," Willow said, "I'm surprised you managed to miss any cans at all!"

"Miss?" Jessie asked. "I was using them to make sure I wasn't going to hit any buildings."

"Next time we wear helmets and pads," Xander told Willow as Jessie drove on, accidentally bouncing a trashcan off the bumper.

They pulled into the back of Max's furniture and got out of the truck. Before they could take off their masks an enormous, bald, gray skinned… creature, that was at least nine feet tall stepped off the loading dock and picked the chest off the back of the truck with one hand and took it inside.

"That was not a costume," Willow said as the three stood there in shock.

"I knew it!" Xander exclaimed, grinning beneath his mask.

Max, an older man in his mid-fifties who looked like he didn't eat enough, came outside. "It's good work, a bit amateurish, but built using the old ways. I'll give you four-fifty for it, unless you'd prefer some other method of payment."

"Cash is king," Jessie said accepting the money.

"Get any more pieces of that quality, bring them by," Max said, heading back inside.

Jessie peeled off fifty and handed four hundred dollars to Xander. "We are ordering pizza!"

"What did you know?" Willow asked Xander.

"I knew Narnia wasn't just a story!" Xander said picking up Willow and swinging her around.

"That's why you're building furniture!" Willow exclaimed. "You want to go to Narnia!"

"Dude, seriously?" Jessie asked.

"The cops and Max thought we were something other than human," Xander said, "and you saw that gray… guy. There is a lot more out there than we know and I am going to find a way to Narnia."

"I'm in," Willow said.

"So am I," Jessie agreed. "Now let's get your uncle's truck back and make some plans."

"Plans?" Xander asked.

"We have a way to make money so we don't have to keep stealing wood from abandoned houses and scavenging for the tools you need," Jessie said, "we need a workshop and some place to figure out what to do next."

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Next to Rory's Wrecking Yard was a small lot, not much more than a modest warehouse with a prefab office converted from a mobile home and an even smaller parking lot. Xander's uncle Rory owned it, but had sublet it for the rather large tax break that Sunnydale's unique tax system offered as an 'incentive to encourage economic growth for the disenfranchised'.

Rory hadn't been paid in six months, but the tax break more than made up for it, so he just pretended the 'disenfranchised citizen' was still renting it from him.

Xander had heard all the details when Rory and Tony had been drinking and complaining about all the breaks illegal aliens were getting. He'd shared the information with Willow and Jessie and the three had peeked through the windows, but all they'd seen was dust and wooden crates earlier that day.

"It still has power and everything to make it look like it's being used," Xander said. "Plus, I got the keys."

"how'd you get the keys?" Willow asked.

"My uncle insisted on having a copy in case the cops ever asked to search it," Xander replied.

"Won't he notice them missing?" Willow asked.

"I replaced them with a couple of keys I found," Xander said as he put the last box on the back of the truck with the wood they'd scrounged up from a house that was being torn down.

"Big enough for us to set up shop," Jessie said, adjusting his troll mask.

"What if we get caught?" Willow worried.

"We aren't trespassing," Xander said. "My uncle owns the property and we're just using the unused property. If he asks, I'll just tell him we're making it look like it's still being used in case the tax man comes by."

"Oh, okay," Willow said, relieved.

Jessie started the truck, grinning beneath his mask. "Let's ride!"

Willow and Xander quickly tightened the seat belt they were sharing.

Keeping to the back alleys and actually being able to see made it a lot easier for Jessie to drive, meaning he only hit every fifth trash can this time.

"Brake!" Willow yelled as Jessie sped into the tiny parking lot.

Jessie slammed on the brakes, bringing them to a screeching halt, just short of the warehouse doors. "Perfect," he said with a grin.

"Works for me," Xander agreed, opening the door and climbing down, giving Willow a hand getting out.

"Are we going through the office or the big doors?" Willow asked.

"The big doors," Xander replied, "it'll be quicker and some of this stuff is heavy."

"Yeah, but those open from the inside," Jessie said as he remembered looking them over earlier.

"Oh yeah," Xander said. "Okay then, through the front office to open the back, then through the back."

"You don't think he's dead in there or something, do ya?" Jessie asked, making Willow pale and clutch Xander's hand tightly.

Xander gave Willow a hug and glared at Jessie, who winced. "Dead people smell, so he probably just skipped town without paying," Xander said, recalling that plot from a number of detective shows.

"Yeah, we would have smelled it if he was dead," Jessie agreed quickly.

Despite their agreement that there was definitely no dead guy, Xander and Jessie had to work up their nerve to approach the trailer, Xander taking the lead because he didn't want to look like a coward in front of Willow. All three of them jumped when Xander turned the key and the bolt snapped back into the lock.

"We need to oil that," Jessie joked. "Willow make a note, oil locks."

"Okay," Willow agreed, opening her backpack and taking out a notepad, glad for the distraction.

"Here we go," Xander said, taking a deep breath before yanking open the door revealing… nothing but an empty office with a hallway to the left and a closed door ahead of them behind a counter.

"I'll meet you around by the big doors," Jessie said, relieved and a bit disappointed that there was no body.

"You want to go with him?" Xander asked.

"No," Willow said, resolutely taking his hand again. "I'll go with you."

Jessie rolled his eyes but grinned as the two made a huge production of things. He wasn't sure who he'd end up dating himself, but he really hoped they were as fun as Xander and Willow.

He walked around to the truck and looked at the warehouse doors. They were big enough that he could have driven in if they'd been open. He briefly considered turning the truck around and backing up to them, but he was honest enough to admit that was probably a bad idea. He really needed to practice driving more, but they rarely got a chance to do more than a short trip every couple of weeks or so.

The creak of rusty hinges brought a smile to his face as he hurried to help Xander and Willow open the doors. They had a lot of stuff to unload. Between Xander's tools and the wood they'd collected, it was going to take them a while.

"So, no dead guy?" Jessie asked as he saw the flush on their faces that indicated some kissing had gone on while he was waiting for them.

"Nah, just a really lifelike statue," Xander replied.

Later that night

Marl perked up when he saw that the spice shop, next to the junkyard on the edge of town, was open. The demon who ran it was one of those seasonal types who hibernated for long periods of time seemingly at random, so it was only his own desperation that drove him to check.

Xander was happily working on an old fashioned coffin for Jessie, who thought it would look really cool for Halloween. They'd found the design in an old leather bound tome that was written in a language they couldn't identify, though there were a few notes written in the margin that were in German and relatively easy to translate, which Jessie insisted they use to make the coffin even creepier.

The small warehouse they'd taken over had plenty of room for the boys to work as only half of it was taken up by crates and shelves containing the multitude of ingredients that made up the business. Willow meanwhile was at the front desk, going through a stack of books, putting bookmarks in any woodworking projects she ran across and generally enjoying herself.

The bell over the door rang as a tall broad shouldered man in a full length trench coat and fedora came in and hung them on the statue they'd leaned against the wall, revealing blue spiky skin. "Evening, do you have powdered Knarl root?"

Willow's eyes darted to the door and she realized they'd left the front door unlocked and she'd turned on the open sign when she'd flipped on the lights. She turned towards the inventory ledger and found the entry without too much trouble. "I have some in stock, how much do you need?" She'd been cashier for the Band's bake sale, so she figured she could handle this.

"Just a couple of drams," the demon replied, relieved. "It's my wife's time of the… seasonal allergies," he said.

Willow just rolled her eyes. "I know when I get… seasonal allergies, I like hot cocoa and for Xander to read to me."

"I'm not the best when it comes to guessing human ages, but aren't you a little young for that?" Marl asked.

"My mom blames the West's heavy fat and protein diet for early menses," Willow replied, amused at the face Marl made. Apparently male monsters weren't that different than their human counterparts when it came to some things. She lead him to the right aisle and pointed to a plastic tub before tearing a small plastic bag off a roll for him. "Price is cheaper in gold, books, or replacement stock," Willow told him.

"I'll pay cash this time," Marl said as he carefully measured out three drams of a gray root, getting it right on the first try, to his satisfaction. "How does replacement stock and books work?"

"We're low on a few things, so if you bring in anything we're low on, you can trade it in for seventy five percent of the marked price in store credit. The idea is that you can probably get at least a couple of things cheaper than we can, so you actually make a small profit in materials while getting what you need," Willow said cheerfully. "As for the books… I like books, especially old leather bound tomes!"

The demon chuckled and followed Willow to the front desk where he paid for his root and was given a couple packets of cocoa along with a receipt. "Thank you," he said gratefully as he left, wondering if reading to his wife would help as well.

"Decided to keep shop?" Jessie asked, poking his head in.

"Apparently," Willow said with a shrug. "I used the spiel from that shop keeper you threw at us in that last dungeon we played."

"I stole it from a video game," Jessie admitted.

"As long as you're having fun," Xander told her.

"And making money for pizza," Jessie added.

"Have you two finished with your creepy coffin?" Willow asked.

"Needs some color," Jessie said.

"Still gotta shellac it and let it dry," Xander told her, "but the woodworking portion is done."

"What about the religious symbols and spiky metal bits?" Willow asked.

"That comes after the paint," Jessie said. "Pretty sure we can make them in Rory's shop."

"What's your next project?" Willow asked.

"I'm still not good enough at carving to do your headboard yet," Xander said, "so I'm making another Narnia wardrobe and practicing my carving on that."

"You look far too happy," Jessie said. "Last time you were grumpy for days when it didn't work, what's different this time?"

"There was a book on making 'moving furniture' in the books we found here," Xander said with a grin. "There was even a picture of people entering a Wardrobe."

"Considering all the weird people and stuff we've seen, I guess they might have a book like you were looking for," Jessie admitted.

"Still not positive Narnia is real," Willow said, "though the more we see, the more I think the story might be based on a true story, but it's probably really different, just like all those movies Hollywood makes based on 'true stories."

"If they got only a quarter of it right, I'll be happy," Xander said. "But if that infinite world thing you told me about is right, then there should be a version just like the book out there as well."

Willow and Jessie froze as the enormity of that thought hit them.

"We could go to Narnia," Willow said in wonder, having supported Xander's efforts, but not really believed it was possible until now.

"We could go to the nude beach from Beverly Hills 9021-HO!" Jessie exclaimed excitedly.

Willow turned and stared at Jessie before noting the guilty look on Xander's face. "Beverly Hills 9021-HO?" she asked.

"The last time I spent the night over at his house, Skina- I mean Cinemax was left unlocked when his parents went to LA and we watched a couple of movies," Xander admitted.

"Oh," Willow said, frowning as she wondered how she was supposed to feel about this. "Well, no going to places like that without me," she said firmly.

"Okay," Xander quickly agreed.

"You really want to go to a nude beach in a p*rno?" Jessie asked.

Willow turned red as she realized what she'd implied.

"I think it's more she didn't want me going to those places without her," Xander said.

"No getting naked without me," Willow agreed, relieved that Xander understood her.

"So he can only get naked if you're with him?" Jessie asked, thinking his best friends had gone a lot farther than he thought.

"Yes, I mean no!" Willow ducked behind the counter so they couldn't see her.

"Willow means I can't be naked with anyone female but her and the 'naked with her' is waiting till we're older," Xander said.

"Yes!" Willow called out from behind the counter and stuck a hand up to wave for Xander to lean over the counter.

Xander leaned over the counter and Jessie heard her kiss him. Xander stood up with a big smile. "That was for understanding her."

"That's right," Willow agreed, still hiding.

"Sure it wasn't for thoughts of you naked?" Jessie teased.

Xander grabbed Jessie and dragged him out of the office. A few seconds later, Willow peaked over the counter and saw they were gone. Giving a relieved sigh, the red faced girl stood up. "A little of that too," she admitted quietly.

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Darla sniffed the air inside the shop. It was difficult to separate out the smell of those present from the countless roots and herbs, but centuries of experience allowed her a small measure of success.

'Fee fi foe fum,' she thought to herself as a redheaded girl who couldn't have been more than ten at most, popped up from behind the counter, laying a tome bound in living skin on it.

"Stop trying to escape," Willow ordered her latest trade, a leather bound book that was always warm and she kept misplacing.

"Excuse me," Darla said politely, not sure what was trying to pose as a child, but not really caring as she had a job to do. "I have a list of ingredients I need." She placed the list on the counter.

Willow picked up the list and read it while absently giving her spiel, "We're low on a few things, so if you bring in anything we're low on, you can trade in for seventy five percent of the marked price in store credit. The idea is that you can probably get at least a couple of things cheaper than we can, so you can actually make a small profit in materials while getting what you need. Prices are cheaper in gold and books; I like books, especially old leather bound tomes." She gestured to a chalkboard with a half dozen things listed.

"Valerian bloodroot is easy enough to come by," Darla said, knowing of a patch growing out of the wall near The Master's lair. Vampires had no use for it and no other demon would dare enter The Master's territory, so it'd grown quite large. "I could bring in a few pounds of that, but I don't have any on me right now."

"That's alright," Willow said, grabbing the living tome before it could crawl off the counter and stuffing it in a drawer, "we'll just go by the honor system. Bring it by tomorrow and I'll just give you the credit for it now."

"Sure," Darla agreed with an internal grin, as she doubted she'd ever have to use this shop again so it's not like she'd have to go through all the hassle of actually delivering on what she promised.

"Follow me," Willow said coming out from behind the counter and lead the vampire into the workshop where Jesse and her boyfriend were working.

Xander ran a whetstone over the edge of the iron spike he was working on, trying to get it as sharp as possible.

"You should use the grinder," Jesse said as he sanded down a section of wood.

"And have dull spikes?" Xander scoffed. "I am a professional! Dull spikes aren't going to penetrate flesh nearly as well."

"Dull ones hurt more going in," Jesse said with an over the top sneer that he had copied from the sheriff of Nottingham in the movie they'd just watched. "It's only a shame we can't use spoons!"

Xander laughed. "I'm not raiding the silverware drawer when I can just use spikes from the church's old iron fence they are replacing."

Darla swore she felt her unbeating heart leap to life to skip a beat as she saw the two 'boys' were finishing up work on a Judas' coffin and had even went to the trouble of enhancing it with spikes from a church's fence!

"The black iron spikes do look cool," Jesse admitted.

"Let's see," Willow said, as she disappeared down an aisle with the list, causing Darla to rush after her, "beihr root we actually have an overstock of, so I can give you a discount on that."

Darla nodded, swallowing heavily but saying nothing as Willow filled her order, deciding that she was definitely going to be getting that Valerian bloodroot and paying them tonight!

"Thank you, come again," Willow said as a tall male in a leather jacket left, having delivered half a dozen pounds of bloodroot to pay for the blonde woman's earlier purchase.

He seemed really nervous, but she figured it was because he was walking alone at night, she knew she'd feel the same way without Xander there.

Willow flipped the open sign to off and locked the door before rejoining the two in the back.

Xander walked around the wardrobe, rechecking the runes he'd carved into it and comparing them to the book he was working from. "It all looks right, but I need a ton of blood, freely given to finish it."

Willow stepped up to him and they exchanged a quick kiss, blushing as Jesse smirked at them. "I'm not positive about that translation," she admitted as he set the book on a bench so they could hold hands. "It was more… not forcibly taken, than freely given, I think."

"So, we could buy some," Jesse said.

"How are we going to buy blood?" Xander asked.

"People sell blood," Jesse said with a shrug, "so there has to be a way to buy it."

"We could try a butcher shop," Xander said. "The British cook with blood, so maybe they save it."

"I don't think we have a lot of British people in town," Jesse said, "but it's worth a shot."

"I wonder what the hospital does with the blood that goes bad?" Willow said thoughtfully.

"Blood goes bad?" Xander asked.

"I found out at least year's blood drive that they can only keep it for ninety days and about ten percent can't be used because the person who donated it is either sick or has taken aspirin recently," Willow explained.

"We can buy the bad stuff off them next blood drive," Xander said, "for now let's try the butcher shop."

"Sounds good," Jesse agreed. "So all you need to finish the cabinet is blood?"

"The wardrobe," Xander said firmly, "just needs some blood, spices, and chanting. Your coffin for Halloween is done, with freshly sharpened spikes, and Willow's headboard is still a work in progress."

"You could just leave it plain," Willow offered.

"Nope," Xander said, "I saw some really cool Star of David designs in one of the books that would look perfect, I just need more practice carving because they are really complicated."

Willow hugged him tightly with a huge smile on her face. "You are getting kissed a lot later," she swore.

Xander beamed.

"What about the table?" Jesse asked.

"That's for Max," Xander said. "Varnish is still tacky."

"If we're all done for the night, I vote we go to my place and watch movies!" Jesse said.

"Or we could watch your movies at my place," Willow said, "just in case my parents call to check on me."

Xander and Jesse exchanged glances knowing her parents weren't going to call but not wanting to say it.

"Good idea," Jesse said, "I'll tell my parents I'm staying at Xander's place and I can sleep on the sofa."

"Good, you can help us eat all the beef stroganoff, we kinda made too much," Willow said.

"Yes, but we didn't make a mess," Xander said proudly.

"Well, not one we didn't clean up anyway," Willow conceded as they retrieved their jackets from the lifelike statue they'd found in there and were using as a coat rack.

"If there are no witnesses, there is no crime," Jesse said. "Can I invite someone?"

"Jonathan?" Willow guessed as Xander locked up the shop and reclaimed her hand.

"I was thinking more… Sharon Deats," Jesse said nervously.

"You've been hanging out with Sharon?" Willow asked. "When? I haven't seen her around."

We meet up at the library," he admitted. "I've been checking out books on tape. Heinlein is awesome!"

Xander and Willow exchanged a look, surprised but not seeing any problem with it.

"Sure, but how are you going to keep her parents from finding out?" Willow asked.

"Her mom is at her boyfriend's place most nights, so she won't have to make any excuses," Jesse said.

"Works for me," Xander said. "So, what are we watching?"

"I don't know," Jesse said as they climbed in the flatbed truck and put on their troll masks. "I thought we'd either grab some college flicks or horror movies."

"Or we could watch some cartoons," Willow said as Jesse started the truck and she quickly buckled up.

"Cartoons are good," Jesse said. "How about Heavy Metal?"

"That's a cartoon?" Willow asked.

"Only the coolest one ever!" Jesse enthused turning to face them as he pulled out.

Xander forcibly turned his friends' head back towards the road. "Sounds good, concentrate on driving."

"Sure," Jesse said, pleased that he'd tricked them into agreeing to see an R rated movie, while they were distracted by his awesome driving skills.

*THUMP*

"Relax, it was just a can," he told them as they drove down a back alley to a poorer section of town not far from the docks.

"Wow, you only hit one can," Willow said impressed as he pulled to a stop behind a small house that had seen better days as the paint was peeling and the bushes were overgrown, visible even in the faint light from the streetlamps.

"Practice makes perfect," he said smugly, before turning off the key and hoping out of the truck.

Xander quickly reached over and shifted the truck into park as it rolled backwards while Jesse opened the back gate and walked up to the house.

"Shouldn't he take the mask off?" Willow asked as Jesse knocked on the door.

A young girl with short dirty blonde hair answered the door, screeched, and smacked Jesse in the head with a frying pan.

*CLANG*

"Probably," Xander agreed as Jesse fended the girl off while talking quickly.

"Where did she get the frying pan?" Willow asked. "Was she carrying it when she answered the door?"

"Maybe," Xander replied reaching under his mask to scratch an itch on his chin.

"It could have been hanging by the door if their back door opens to the kitchen," Willow decided, feeling that was a lot more likely.

The girl vanished into the house and Jesse gave them a wave to let them know it was alright before he rubbed his head.

"Maybe I should drive," Xander said, worried about how bad Jesse's driving would be now if Sharon had hit him too hard.

The young girl returned, carrying a backpack and wearing a witch's mask and the two quickly joined them at the truck.

"Sharon, this is Xander and his girlfriend Willow," Jesse said waving at her to climb in while he introduced them. They'd shared some classes in school, but had never spent any time with her. "Guys, this is Sharon."

"It's nice to meet you," she said as she climbed in, Xander and Willow scooting over to give her room. "Jesse scared the hell out of me or I normally wouldn't have greeted him with a sauce pan."

"I thought it was a frying pan," Willow said.

"Nah, those are heavier," she said cheerfully as Jesse climbed in and started the truck. "So, we're going over to one of your houses to spend the night?"

"My parents are in LA so we're going to watch movies," Willow explained. "Plus, we cooked too much food… I hope you like beef stroganoff."

"Sounds good," Sharon said. "My place is way too quiet on the weekends, so it'll be fun to hang out."

"I know what you mean," Willow said, "I'm just glad I've got Xander to keep me company."

"Always," he told her, giving her a squeeze.

"They are sickeningly sweet," Jesse said, "so if you're diabetic get your insulin ready."

*THUD*

"Try not to hit every can in the alley," Xander said.

"That was Mr. Grouse's can, he's a dick," Sharon said, "hit his cans all you like."

"I'll get it again when we drop you off," Jesse promised.

"Cool," Sharon said with a grin in her voice.

"Are we sickeningly sweet?" Willow asked Xander nervously.

"Darn tooting," he replied giving her a hug. "I happen to like it."

"Good," Willow said.

After a quick stop at Jesse's house to pick up movies and get permission, where they parked several houses away so his parents wouldn't see and reminded him about the mask so he wouldn't get hit in the head again, they finally reached Willow's place.

"I'll get the food," Xander said, taking off his mask and setting it on the coffee table.

"I'll start the movie," Willow said putting her mask on top of Xander's and getting Heavy Metal from Jesse. "Hey, this is R-rated!"

"It's a cartoon," Jesse assured her as he and Sharon removed their masks and added them to the stack.

"Oh, okay," Willow said, putting it in the VCR and starting it up.

Five minutes later they were all relaxing and watching the movie while they ate.

"Hey, there are boobies!" Willow complained.

"Cartoon boobies," Jesse countered.

Willow frowned but then shrugged, it was still a cartoon as he'd promised. "Oh, okay."

Xander put his arm around Willow and she leaned into him. 'This has been a great summer,' he decided.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

"Heavy Metal was a good cartoon," Willow admitted as Xander shut off the lights and climbed into bed with her, "even with all the violence and… dirty stuff."

"It was fun," Xander agreed, knowing Willow wanted to talk about something from her tone and waiting to hear what it was.

"The girls had big breasts," Willow noted.

"They did," Xander agreed. "Cartoons always have exaggerated stuff."

"My breasts are kinda small," Willow said.

Xander waited but she didn't say anything else and he realized she was waiting for him to say something. "They are Willow sized," Xander said, "they'll get bigger when we're older."

Willow considered that. "Do you wanna feel them?" she asked nervously, wanting to make sure he still liked them even if they were small boobies. He was a boy and boys liked boobies so if he liked her then he must like her boobies, she thought, satisfied with the logic of it.

"Of course I do," Xander said, making her blush hard enough she was sure it was visible in the dark.

Her breath caught as his arms reached out, but instead of sliding his hands under her shirt like she expected, he simply pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "I thought you were going to feel them."

"I can feel them just fine," Xander told her, "they're pressed against me."

"I meant with your hands," Willow explained.

"We can play Doctor anytime," Xander said, "Right now I wanna cuddle and sleep with you."

"Playing doctor has stuff like that in it?" Willow asked curiously.

"That's mostly what playing Doctor is about," Xander replied.

"So… We're doing it wrong?" Willow asked slowly.

"We're doing it our way," Xander decided. "Our way got us cards that say we know how to do first aid, all they get is to tickle each other and in trouble with their parents if they get caught."

"Oh," Willow said. After a few seconds silence she said, "I like our way."

"So do I," Xander answered her, getting a big squeeze in return. "Night, Willow."

"Night, Xander," she said, a smile on her face.

"More beef stroganoff?" Jesse asked, as Xander and Willow laid out breakfast.

"We made a lot," Willow said.

"Don't knock the stroganoff," Sharon said, "this stuff is great!" She smiled brightly.

"Hey, you rhymed!" Jesse said, causing some laughter. "I'm not knocking it, I'm just surprised," he said, "I figured Willow would be gung ho about the whole food chain thing."

"We are higher on the food chain than stroganoff, bro," Xander assured him with a grin as the girls giggled.

Jesse frowned and puzzled out what he'd said wrong. "I meant pyramid."

"We are all getting some fruit too," Willow said, "and milk."

"Works for me," Jesse said and settled down to eat.

After a few minutes, Sharon asked, "So what are we doing today? Cause I don't have anything planned and Jessie is usually busy with you guys in the mornings."

"We are buying blood from the butcher shop to finish the wardrobe we built," Xander said.

"I don't think you need blood to make furniture," Sharon said, "unless you need it to stain the wood?"

"It's magic," Willow said.

"Magic's not real," Sharon said.

"That's what I thought too," Willow agreed, "but it turns out the adults are just hiding it for some reason."

"Really?" she asked, turning to Jesse.

Jesse swallowed his food. "Yup, and it's more complicated than math," he complained.

"If it was easy everyone would be doing it," Xander said. "Willow looks up a lot of words and they aren't even in English."

"Yup," Willow said proudly.

"Cool," Sharon said, before finishing off her bowl and accepting an orange from Willow.

"We'll take the bus to the butcher's shop to get the blood, then Xander will finish the wardrobe and we'll see if the magic worked or not," Jesse said. "It's going to be a lot of fun."

"I don't have any money on me," Sharon admitted, looking down at her orange while she peeled it.

"It's okay, we have more than enough money," Willow assured her.

"How much blood do we need?" Jesse asked.

"About a gallon, but if it's cheap enough I say we each grab a gallon," Xander said. "There is… some stuff about blood nails, and it takes a lot of blood to get enough iron to make them."

"There's a disease where people get too much iron in their blood and they have to have doctors take their blood regularly so it doesn't build up too much," Willow said. "Let me go check!" She hopped up and darted out of the dining room before anyone could say anything.

"Why are you making nails out of blood?" Sharon asked.

"There are some designs that mentioned them," Xander said. "Haven't managed to figure most of it out, but the nails sounded cool."

"And Max pays a lot for furniture made in the old ways," Jesse said with a grin.

"We sell the furniture we make to Max," Xander explained.

"The store isn't doing bad either," Jesse said, "though I think most of the profit is going into books."

Xander shrugged. "All the bins of stuff are getting filled, so I haven't really paid attention."

"Wils is doing pretty good," Jesse said, "even with the stuff we use, she's getting lots."

"I found it!" Willow announced as she returned with a heavy medical encyclopedia. "Hemochromatosis causes your body to absorb too much iron, storing excess in the liver, heart, and pancreas. They regularly have to donate blood and have between five to twenty times the amount of iron a normal person has."

"So they probably go to the hospital to have their blood drained regularly," Xander said. "If we had a way to get their blood, it'd be a lot easier to make nails. As is, I need about a gallon a nail which is about all the blood most people have."

"Cows are a lot bigger than people," Jesse said, "so if the butcher thing works out we'll be set."

"So one gallon of blood for the wardrobe and one for a nail?" Willow asked as she finished her breakfast.

"Most pieces of furniture need over a dozen nails," Xander pointed out, getting up to put his bowl in the sink.

"That's a lot of blood and it's going to be heavy too," Jesse said with a frown, "and I can't drive during the day until late. How long is the butcher shop open till?"

"No idea," Xander said, "we'll have to ask.

"I wanna know how you are going to turn blood into nails," Sharon said, following Xander's example and placing her bowl in the sink.

"Boil it until it's a goop, burn the goop until its ash, use water to clean off the not iron stuff, then melt it," Xander said. "The instructions are weird and hard to figure out, but they have pictures. Anyway we'll just get a gallon apiece to start so I can try it out."

"Hope the butcher has a lot of blood on hand," Willow said as she and Xander started cleaning up.

Sol and Saul's Butcher Shop

The four preteens stepped up to the counter and the broad shouldered old man who ran the place, arms bulging with muscles, leaned on the counter. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Do you sell blood?" Xander asked.

"Beef blood is ten a quart," the man replied automatically.

Xander smiled. "Great, we need four gallons."

"It's forty a gallon, so that'd come to a hundred and sixty dollars," the man replied, running a hand across his bald head as he tried to hide his surprise.

"That's fine," Xander said as Willow took a bundle of bills out of her pocket.

"Is it kosher?" Willow asked.

The old man chuckled. "Blood is never kosher, but it is all beef, not a trace of pig or rabbit," he assured her.

Willow nodded and paid the man. "No tax?"

"Not on blood," he assured her before going into the back and coming out with two bags and setting them on the counter to go into the back and retrieve two more.

Xander looked in one of the bags. "Four, one-quart containers, kinda like milk."

"Do you make deliveries and how late are you open?" Jesse asked.

"The front of the shop closes at eight, but we sell out the back until one AM," the butcher replied. "We do free deliveries on orders of over two hundred dollars, otherwise we charge a ten percent surcharge."

"How much blood can we order at once?" Xander asked.

"Most people only order a quart every other day at most, with a gallon or more being used for parties," he said thoughtfully. "We keep about twenty gallons on hand, but if you are making large orders it's best to call a week in advance so we don't run short for our regulars."

"Thanks," Xander said as the four each took a bag.

"It's no problem, have a nice day," the butcher said cheerfully.

"I'm hungry," Jesse told Willow.

"Wait until we're at work," Willow said, knowing he was about to go into his starving spiel to try and get them to stop at the ice cream shop since he always did this. "At least there, we can hose you off."

Jesse grinned, having always taken perverse pleasure in being extra messy with his ice cream as it drove Willow nuts.

Xander rolled his eyes but couldn't stop himself from grinning. "We can come back later," he said, thinking of the ice cream shop, "I wanna finish what we're working on first."

"Right," Jesse said excitedly as the thought of going to Narnia pushed aside his desire for ice cream. "Is a gallon enough?" he asked, knowing Xander had been guessing on how much they needed for the spell.

"If not I'll share some of mine," Xander promised, figuring two and a half gallons would make enough nails for a small chest if he did it right, and they could always buy more.

"Cool, let's hurry!"

Saul watched the 'children' depart as his partner Sol came out of the back room.

"That was a large order, some group planning a huge party?" Sol asked, cleaning blood off his hands with a rag.

"No, just some big eaters," he replied. "How they're going to drink a gallon apiece I don't know and one wasn't sure even that would be enough."

Sal chuckled. "You see all types in this business, now help me get the steaks ready for the delivery to the Kendalls."

"You work here?" Sharon asked while Xander took Willow's bag so she could unlock the office.

"It's not really working, it's fun!" Willow said as she opened the door to let everyone in.

"Eep!" Sharon jumped backwards and almost dropped her bag as she saw the 'statue'.

"I know, creepy isn't it?" Jesse said with a grin. "Don't know why the owner had a statue of a monster in mid yawn made, but we use it to hang our coats from."

"It's so lifelike," she said, examining it more closely.

"Do we need to refrigerate these?" Willow asked Xander, taking back her bag.

"Might as well," Xander replied, "there's lots of room in the fridge. I'll get started on the seal."

"Seal?" Sharon asked as she followed Jesse and Willow behind the counter and into a dinette off to the side.

"Like I said, magic is complicated," Jesse said. "Ya gotta figure out what to say and do, the instructions are rarely in English, and ya gotta make a complicated design in blood."

Willow set her empty bag on the counter and moved aside to let Jesse put his blood away. "It's not that bad, but the book Xander is working with is German so we have to translate it first. The Germans have a lot of oddly specific words too."

"Let me take that," Jesse said, passing the empty bag to Willow and taking Sharon's bag.

"Do you guys know a lot of magic?" Sharon asked.

"Nuh uh," Willow said, shaking her head. "We haven't gotten any simple books in, they're all complicated and/or stuff we don't want to do so far."

"Speak for yourself, I think cursing Cordelia would be a great idea," Jesse said, before closing the fridge and handing her the empty bag.

"No cursing people," Willow said, "not even her."

"The only thing we've found that we can all agree on is making a cabinet to Narnia," Jesse said.

"So how do you know magic exists?" she asked as they walked through the office and into the warehouse. She looked around curiously, her attention drawn to rows of shelves filled with containers and little measurement spoons hanging by them.

"Because monsters exist and that's who I've been getting books on magic from," Willow said as they watched Xander slowly pour blood into wooden channels cut into a thick sheet of plywood.

A large wooden wardrobe stood in the clear spot in the center of the carved design. The wardrobe was around six feet tall and a little over three feet wide, each side a slightly different color from the different woods used in its construction. Lines of carefully carved runes surrounded the base and the top of the curious looking cabinet, though it was hard to see what they looked like since were liberally coated in blood.

"It only took a quart and a half," Xander said as he finished up and rechecked his work.

"So, we're doing this?" Jesse asked excitedly.

"We're doing this," Xander said with a grin. "Grab the candles."

"Yes!" Jesse cheered and hurried over to where the tools and piles of wood they'd scavenged were. He dug among the piles and came up with a box. "Got the candles, who has the lighter?"

"I knew we forgot something," Xander said as they checked their pockets and came up empty.

"I got one," Sharon said, pulling a disposable lighter from her pocket.

"Why do you have a lighter?" Willow asked.

"I brought some left over fireworks from the fourth of July," she replied proudly, patting her backpack.

"We could fire them off in the wrecking yard!" Xander said excitedly.

"Let's go!" Jesse said, dropping the box of candles by the empty blood container.

The four kids rushed outside, leaving the blood to soak into the wood.

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

"That was fun," Willow said as they re-entered the shop.

Sharon smiled, happy she'd been able to contribute something and wasn't just leaching off them.

"And now for the magic!" Xander said excitedly, hurrying back to the wardrobe.

"Light the candles and let's get this show on the road!" Jesse exclaimed as he opened the box of candles and took out five small red candles, placing them in the correct spots around the circle, which had been marked by Willow.

Sharon lit them. "Now what?" she asked.

"Klatu-" Jesse began only to have Xander quickly slap his hand over his mouth.

"Dude, not even as a joke," Xander said seriously. He quickly pulled his hand away and wiped it on his shirt after Jesse licked his palm.

"Yeah, that probably was a bad idea," Jesse admitted.

"Okay, everyone stand back and don't say anything," Willow said, "cause it's kinda hard on the throat and I don't want to lose my spot." Willow took a piece of paper out of a book and cleared her throat.

After a few deep breaths, the young red head began to speak. Her voice came out in a harsh guttural rasp as she recited what she'd written down, making everyone's ears hurt and raising goosebumps.

Sharon let out a little squeak as the candles flared up and vanished, but slapped both hands over her mouth so she wouldn't make any more noise.

Wind roared to life around them, coming out of nowhere, pulling at their hair and clothes, drawing out the sound of Willow's voice. It died out a moment later as Willow finished, leaving a silence that they were hesitant to break…

"Did it work?" Jesse asked eagerly.

… for half a second.

"Candles are gone and the blood…" Xander ran a finger along the hard red substance that had replaced the blood in the channels he'd carved for it, "has turned to glass."

Willow got a soda from a small fridge under a workbench. "German hurts my throat," she complained.

"That was German?" Sharon asked in disbelief.

"I'm going to try it," Jesse said, stepping inside the circle and opening the wardrobe.

A wave of heat and light poured out from inside the large wooden closet and Jesse quickly shut the door.

"I don't think that's Narnia," Jesse said.

"Let me try," Xander said, opening the door and squinting at the light pouring out. He vanished within and returned just a few seconds later. "Nope, not Narnia."

"It could just be a different part of Narnia," Willow offered, "maybe it opens to a desert in Narnia."

"It's got two suns and a load of moons," Xander said.

"Tattoine?" Jesse guessed.

"Like from Star Wars?" Sharon asked eagerly, hurrying to try it herself.

Xander shrugged as she entered the wardrobe. "How many moons did Tatooine have?"

Sharon came back out. "Not Tatooine, it's got way too many moons for that. It's nice though."

"I was sure we'd done it right," Willow said with a frown.

"Maybe cow blood doesn't count as freely given," Xander said thoughtfully.

"Well… it's not like they ask the cows," Willow said as she thought about it.

"Still, we actually have a cabinet that goes somewhere," Jesse said with a grin. "We'll just have to keep at it until we get it right!"

"Yeah," Xander said with a grin. "Besides, if we do it enough, who knows where they'll go?"

"What are you going to do with it?" Sharon asked, gesturing to the large wooden closet, the runes carved in it faintly glowing, the blood that had smeared on them absent.

"I dunno," Xander said with a shrug.

"We could use it to keep the warehouse warm during the winter," Willow offered.

"Yeah, that would work," Jesse agreed.

"My turn to look," Willow said, opening the door and squinting in the flood of light. She closed the door. "I need sunglasses and a hat."

"And maybe some sunscreen," Sharon suggested.

"Yeah," Jesse said, "even I wouldn't spend more than a minute or two over there without it."

"I should bring my camera so I can take pictures!" Willow said excitedly.

"Back to your place for desert stuff?" Jesse suggested.

Willow nodded eagerly. "We'll need sunscreen, maybe a parasol… water…" she muttered to herself, making a mental list.

"Give her a minute, she's lost in her mind," Jesse said as Willow wandered off to find a paper and pen.

"We can have lunch at Willow's," Xander said. "The menu shall be… Stroganoff!"

"Hey, that's one of my favorite foods!" Sharon exclaimed, pretending to be surprised, causing the boys to laugh.

Willow set a heavy backpack on the floor in front of the sheet of plywood the wardrobe rested on. "Okay, I think I have everything."

"And then some," Jesse said.

"Yeah, you are not going to want to carry that through the wardrobe," Xander said. "It's too heavy and the place is too hot."

"But- but-" Willow stuttered out, clutching it to herself.

"Wils," Xander said, laying a hand on her shoulder, "We can step right back through the wardrobe to grab everything you need from it. Let's just get what we know we need and then once we look around for a minute we can come back and get anything we need to take a proper look, okay?"

"Okay," Willow agreed, giving him a peck on the lips before kneeling down to open the bag and start laying things out.

"Camera, sunscreen, sun hat, and sunglasses," Sharon suggested. "Oh, and camera. You won't need more than that for a first look."

"I'll help you with the sunscreen," Xander said, picking up the bottle and squirting some into his hands.

"Okay," Willow said, holding out her arms so Xander could rub lotion in.

"And I'll help you," Jesse told Sharon with a grin as he picked up the bottle that Xander had set down.

Xander carefully covered all of Willow's exposed skin, including her face, but the giggling from Sharon distracted them and they turned and saw Jesse was using sunscreen on her belly and under her shirt.

"My turn," Willow said, grabbing the sunscreen and squirting some in her hands.

Xander held out his arms and Willow coated them with lotion, making sure to get in between the fingers before moving up his arms. He closed his eyes as she coated his face using the corner of his shirt to clean off his eyelids when she'd finished. He found himself giggling as her hands found his exposed stomach and she used the excess on her hands to coat his waist all the way around.

"All done," Willow said with a smile, as they heard Jesse laughing as Sharon deliberately tickled him while getting his sides under his shirt. "Maybe get my sides too?" she asked shyly. "You know, in case my shirt rides up."

"Sure," Xander agreed, putting a little sunscreen on his hands and sliding them under the bottom of her shirt. He resisted tickling her for an impressive two seconds.

Willow giggled and wiggled, escaping his grasp after a few seconds with a large smile on her face. "Ready?" she asked.

Xander wiped his hands on his shirt and picked up a pair of sunglasses and put them on. "Ready!"

Willow put on sunglasses and grabbed her camera and a small black umbrella. "Let's go!"

Xander opened the door to the wardrobe and flinched back from the heat before stepping inside with Willow following closely behind.

As they walked through the wardrobe, the wood gave way to sand and they found themselves standing in the middle of the desert with two suns blazing in the sky, one a little smaller than the other one and a little brighter.

"There are… five moons," Willow said as she tried to look everywhere at once, not even using the umbrella she brought. "Wow!"

"Yeah," Xander said, finding it a lot easier to look around with sunglasses on.

Jesse and Sharon came out of the wardrobe behind them. Xander glanced back and saw the passage to the warehouse looking completely out of place, almost unreal in the desert of the strange place they found themselves.

"The sky is beautiful," Willow said. "I wonder what it looks like at night."

"I'm not sure they have a night," Jesse said, "the suns are too far apart."

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "which explains why there's nothing but sand everywhere."

Willow took a picture of the hole in the air that lead to the warehouse before taking a couple of pictures of the moons overhead. "Okay, I've seen enough, though I still want to check at night."

"Yeah, but on the other hand, it's a great place to pee if someone's in the bathroom," Jesse said.

Maybe for you," Sharon said with a snort. "I would rather not get sand in me."

"At least we can use it," Xander said, "that leaves the bathroom open for you girls."

"Yeah, that works," Willow said, climbing in the hole in the air, followed by everyone else, except Jesse who stopped to pee.

"It's so much cooler here," Xander said, taking off his sunglasses and returning them to Willow's pile of stuff.

"Yeah," Sharon said. "It's like an oven, a very bright oven, over there. Still cool though."

Jesse came out of the wardrobe, closing it behind him. "Maybe next time we'll get a beach like… Fantasy Island."

"That would be great," Sharon said.

"Nah, I wanna have fun, not have Roarke teach me some life lesson," Xander said.

"That does always happen," Willow agreed. "Okay, we need more wood. Any ideas?"

"Buy it from the store?" Sharon suggested.

"They won't sell to kids and they ask a lot of questions," Xander said, shaking his head.

"Ask Max?" Sharon said. "If he buys the stuff you make he probably knows where to buy it."

"Hadn't thought of that," Xander admitted. "He's the one who told me where to get the lacquer."

"The table's dry," Jesse said. "We can ask when we deliver it."

"Help me move the wardrobe," Xander told Jesse as he retrieved the dolly from against the wall.

"I'm going to open the store," Willow said, as she stuffed everything back inside her backpack. "Wanna help?" she asked Sharon.

"What do we do?" Sharon asked curiously.

"Sell roots and herbs," Willow replied. "It's pretty easy, all the monsters are really polite."

"Monsters?"

"You'll see," Willow replied cheerfully as she lifted her heavy pack.

Gorg was in a foul mood. His species needed sunlight to stay healthy, but they Mayor had forbidden any demons from going about uncovered so he had to rely on eating yarrow root to survive and the shop with the best prices kept irregular hours.

The open sign lit up and he sighed in relief before stomping inside. "Another five minutes and I'd have disemboweled you all," he growled out, making one of the small creatures that ran the store squeak, but the flame haired one just smiled.

"Pretty sure I'd make more selling parts of you than selling you plant bits, but it's not worth the effort," she said with a broad smile.

Gorg sniffed the air, but the flame haired one appeared to be serious as he smelled not a trace of fear from her.

"Are you okay? Your scales are looking a little gray," she asked in concern as she examined the seven foot tall draconic being hiding under a trench coat and fedora like a gritty fifties noir private detective on stakeout.

"Not enough sun," he grunted, knowing it was obvious and the creature was just toying with him, daring him to lie about his weakness.

"Oh, well we have just the thing for that," she said brightly.

"Yeah, yarrow root," he grumbled.

"No, just go in the back and tell the boys I said to let you enter The Endless Desert," she said.

"Endless Desert?" he asked.

"Two suns, five moons, hot and bright," she replied. "Just don't go wandering away from the entrance because we'd never find you."

Gorg was skeptical, but the threat of no one ever finding him added a little weight to her words. He growled and stomped into the warehouse where he found the two small males moving a freshly used ritual circle that stank of blood. "The flame haired one said you were to allow me access to The Endless Desert," he growled out.

The smaller of the two looked confused for a moment before he flashed his teeth in warning at Gorg's tone and opened a door into paradise.

Jesse watched the scaly man vanish into the wardrobe. "He looks like the type that could tan over there."

"At least it's getting some use," Xander said, "be kind of a waste just to use it as a urinal."

"Yeah, but it's an awesome urinal," Jesse said.

"True," Xander agreed. "I think I have enough wood to make another wardrobe if I make it smaller."

"Well, it does only have to be big enough for us to walk through," Jesse said. "Can we use the same circle or do we have to make another one?"

Xander scratched his head and looked at the ritual circle with its crystallized blood. "Dunno. I figure we can give it a try and if it doesn't work, we'll just make a new one."

"What about needing human blood rather than animal for the whole 'freely given' thing?"

Xander shrugged. "It's just a guess and we're doing something right since we made a doorway into the 'Endless Desert.'"

"Cool name," Jesse said.

"Willow's good at stuff like that," Xander said proudly. "Remember when Jonathan got a group together to play D&D?"

Gorg could feel his skin getting loose and reluctantly gathered up his coverings to return through the portal. They were powerful mages to have created a portal to such wonders and one that appeared to be permanent as well.

Gorg stepped out into the large room where they kept the plants, feeling more alive than he had in centuries.

"And then Willow said, 'I'd rather go out like a lion than a lamb.' and she leaps off the cliff," the darker haired creature said with a baring of teeth.

"And then?" the smaller one asked eagerly.

"She lands blade first in the giant's eye. He's flailing and trying to get her off, but by then she'd burrowed into his skull and killed him."

"I would have loved to have seen that," the smaller one said, wistfully, no doubt regretting not having been present at such a great battle.

"Got enough sun?" the dark haired one asked. "Cause your skin is coming off."

Gorg looked down and realized he was indeed molting, his scales sloughing off. He swiped at his arm, a section of scales falling to the ground with a clang. It took little time at all for him to strip the weakness from himself except a patch in the center of his back that he couldn't reach.

"Let me get that for you," the smaller one said, circling around behind Gorg and prying them loose, in a much gentler manner than he expected, as if trying to avoid injuring him by accident.

"You look a much better shade of blue now," the darker haired one said while the smaller one gathered up all his shed scaled in a wooden box.

Gorg put back on his trenchcoat and hat, picking up the box they'd provided for him. "It is good to get some sun."

The two smaller beings returned to their task, dismissing him from consideration as if he posed no threat to them, which might actually be true, Gorg decided as he turned to go.

The flame haired one was working on some arcane spell, scribing runes on paper when he returned and set the box of cast offs on the counter.

"What do I owe you and what would be the charge for bringing my youngling through?" Gorg asked, hoping the cost would not be more than he could pay.

"No charge," the flame haired one said. "If you have a hatchling that needs some sun, you just bring them in, okay?"

"May the powers smile upon you," Gorg said, stumped at her generosity. He stumbled out of the shop, forgetting his box of shed scales.

"This is heavy," Sharon said as she tried to lift the box of scales off the counter.

Willow helped her lift it, the two of them huffing as they got it off the counter. "Let's put it next to the coatrack."

"The statue," Sharon realized as Willow tugged her towards it, both of them straining not to drop the box.

"Yeah, we can deal with it later," Willow said as they dropped the box with a massive thud on the floor.

"Do all the monsters make threats like he did?" Sharon asked.

"Just some of them," Willow replied. To be polite, you're supposed to make threats back. It's just their way of saying hi."

"Oh," Sharon said. "Hope he wasn't offended."

"Nah, Gorg is a sweety," Willow assured her.

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

"Wish we could do this every night," Sharon said wistfully, as the four watched The Princess Bride at Willow's insistence.

"My parents won't let me have boys over or stay over at their place," Willow said.

"Which sucks because I could have you all over at my place every night, probably even during the year," Xander said.

"Do you even ask your parents?" Jesse asked.

"As long as I'm not making a lot of noise they don't care, so I don't bother," Xander said.

Willow grabbed his hand and pulled his arm over her so she could cuddle with him.

Seeing her do that, Sharon did the same with Jesse who gave her a shy smile.

"Doubt my mom would notice, since she's never home," Sharon said. "It wasn't so bad before my older brother ran away, but the house is just so… empty by myself."

"Yeah," Willow said, giving Xander a squeeze.

"My parents caught me the last time I tried to sneak out to visit Xander during the night," Jesse grumbled. "They grounded me for two whole weeks!"

"That sucked," Xander said. "You missed all the game meetings and your character got eaten by a grue."

"I know," Jesse said.

"The shop isn't bad at night," Xander said, "the bedroom has a really firm mattress and… I kinda like the quiet."

"You've stayed over at the shop?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Sure," Xander replied. "I was working on the wardrobe and you and Jesse were at home because your parents don't want you guys out after dark. I decided it would be easier to sleep there than walk home at night."

"That makes sense," Willow said.

"The only downside was that I had to get breakfast at the convenience store and it's a really long walk when you're hungry," Xander said. "I'm thinking of getting an extra bike to keep there."

"That's not a bad idea," Jesse said. "It'd really help when we need to go somewhere and can't use the truck."

"Movie's starting," Willow said, causing everyone to quiet down.

After the Movie

"I love that movie," Jesse admitted, "my favorite part is the sword fight."

"Which bit?" Xander asked.

"All of it," Jesse said, "every little bit with a sword. It'd be so cool to make your own sword."

"I think we have a couple of books on that," Willow offered. "May need some basic books on it first though, they look complicated."

"I know," Jesse said, "I've seen them and it looks like even more work than making furniture."

"Yeah, but it's probably worth it," Xander said.

"Well, the furniture certainly is," Jesse admitted. "Could we make a sword of blood? That would be cool!"

"You'd need a swimming pool filled with blood," Willow said, trying to figure out how much blood you'd need to have enough iron to forge a sword.

"Yeah, but imagine how cool it would be! I have forged a sword from the blood of my enemies," Jesse said, holding his arm up like he was holding a sword as he pictured it in his mind.

"You'd need like, a thousand people," Xander said, "and you don't even know that many. I have forged a sword from people I barely know and just happened to run across at the mall just doesn't sound as impressive."

"I have forged a hat pin from the blood of my enemy," Willow said, holding up her hand with the thumb and pointer finger pinched together, "cower in terror!"

The children burst out laughing.

"How did you get so good at making furniture?" Sharon asked.

"Practice," Xander said.

"Being really, really picky," Jesse added. "You measure everything like, a dozen times," he accused Xander.

"They were all coming out lopsided before," Xander complained, "and I only measure… Okay, I probably do measure that many times, but once you've got all the pieces right, they come together easily, like a jigsaw puzzle."

"I just help with the reading and math," Willow said.

"I help hold things and do a lot of sanding," Jesse said. "Xander is the builder."

"Blood is expensive," Xander said, changing the subject. "We really need to find a cheaper way to get it if we expect to make a lot of nails, much less a sword or something and you can learn how to make weapons." He pointed at Jesse.

"Hope they have books on tape about it," Jesse said.

"Nope," Willow said smugly, "It's all in really old books in foreign languages."

"I know that," he said rolling his eyes. "I meant, I hope they have some books on tape for making normal stuff, so I can practice before we start trying using expensive stuff like blood."

"Oh, good idea," Willow said, before yawning, causing a chain reaction of yawns from the others.

"Time for bed," Jesse said. "Man, it's going to suck when we have to start school again and can only do this on the weekends."

"We can only do this on the weekends now," Xander pointed out.

"Yeah, but school is going to seriously cut into what we can do during the week too."

"Yes, but we also get to learn a lot of new things," Willow said.

"And put up with Cordelia and her crew," Jesse countered.

Xander stood up and pulled Willow off the couch. "We've still got an entire week left until our inevitable doom, let's not argue about it."

"Yeah," Jesse conceded. "Night, bro."

"Night, bro," Xander said. "Night, Sharon."

"Night guys," Sharon said as Xander pulled Willow towards the stairs.

Jesse made a nest of blankets and cushions.

"Will you guys still hang out with me when we're in school?" Sharon asked Jesse timidly, knowing that most of the kids were really picky about who they hung out with at school and her mom didn't make that much, so her clothes were mostly hand-me-downs from her older brother.

"Of course," Jesse said, before being tackled in a hug.

"We're ready," Xander said, poking his head into the office.

"Already?" Willow asked in disbelief, looking up from the book she was using to teach Sharon how to translate German.

"This one is smaller, so it took less time," Xander said, "Plus we are re-using the circle, so I don't have to carve all that out again."

"Want me to get the blood?" Willow asked.

"I still have some from last time and I just needed enough to cover the runes this time," Xander said.

"Are you sure you don't have to redo the circle?" Willow asked.

"Nope," Xander replied, unconcerned, "but that's what experimenting is for, finding out stuff."

"Jesse got the candles?" Sharon asked, pulling a Bic out of her pocket. "I got the lighter."

"Let's go," Xander said, waving for the girls to follow him.

The wardrobe was much smaller than the last one, being only four and a half feet tall and a foot and a half wide, the wood was all the same color and the runes, that could be made out from under a layer of blood, were more uniform.

"Looks nicer than the last one," Sharon said, "and that one is still way cool."

"Thanks," Xander said proudly.

"We didn't even have to lacquer this one," Jesse said, "the wood was mostly from a piano."

"Someone stole the insides," Xander said. "Well, I think they stole them."

"Looked more like they ate them," Jesse said, "just like all the pipes and the wires in that house."

Xander shrugged. "Doesn't matter, we are ready!"

"I got the spell," Willow said, waving a sheet of paper.

"And I got the lighter," Sharon said quickly, lighting the five candles set around the magic circle made of crystallized blood.

The three moved behind Willow, Xander giving her a quick kiss for luck.

Willow recited the spell with a bright smile almost singing in the harsh guttural tongue it was written in before the wind's howl drowned her out.

The candles vanished, as did the blood covering the runes of the small wardrobe, and the room was silent once more.

"We can reuse the magic circle," Xander said happily.

Willow opened the door and sunlight poured into the room.

"Only if we want to make more Porta Potties," Jesse said.

"Are you sure it's the same place?" Sharon asked.

Jesse frowned. "Let me check." The warehouse flooded with light and Jesse returned a few seconds later. "Yep, looks the same, multiple suns and moons, way too bright and hot. I saw a mountain, so it's not at the same place though."

"I'll carve another circle," Xander said, "it shouldn't take too long and we've got plenty of blood."

"I'll get the markers," Willow said, "and I wanna go over the math again, I think we need to make sure the runes are aligned with true magnetic north, not just north."

"Aligned?" Xander asked.

"Yeah," Willow said, "it's why I marked the compass points on the wood."

"Do we have enough wood to make another wardrobe?" Jesse asked.

"No," Xander said as he examined the circle and saw where Willow had marked down the compass points. "We've been using this upside down."

"The Chases are rebuilding their guest house," Jesse said, "we could see if we could grab the wood from there."

"Then we would have to deal with Cordelia," Willow pointed out.

"So, that's out," Jesse said.

"We need wood," Xander said, trying to prod his brain into coming up with an idea.

"And bone," Jesse added.

"Bone?" Sharon asked, as Gorg stomped into the warehouse.

"We need old dried bones to use to burn the blood into iron to forge a sword," Jess said, having read over everything Xander had translated about making iron from blood.

"Hey Gorg," Willow said with a bright smile, realizing she'd forgotten to lock the door.

"I have come to see when I should bring my hatchling to use the portal," Gorg said formally. "Your shop is closed during much of her active cycle."

"We could give him one of the wardrobes," Willow suggested.

"We don't need two," Xander agreed.

Gorg's eyes widened, but he forced himself to remain calm and ask, "What would be the price?"

Xander thought about it for a second. "We need wood to build a replacement," he said.

"And dry bones for a fire," Jesse added.

"I told you," Xander said, shaking his head, "you need a thousand living, breathing, enemies to drain of blood to forge a sword. You don't even have one!"

Gorg froze. This being had destroyed all who stood against him until none drew breath?!

"I don't care if it takes a thousand years, I will have my sword!" Jesse swore, making the kids laugh.

"Fine," Willow said, rolling her eyes. "Gorg, you can have one of the wardrobes, just drop some wood and bone behind the shop when you have the time."

"It shall be so," Gorg agreed, shocked at how cheap the price for paradise was, but considering the power and prowess these beings held, he supposed it was easy for those such as themselves to create.

"Give him the big one so he doesn't have to stoop to enter," Willow told Xander.

Xander walked over to the large wardrobe and opened the door to make sure it still worked and making a second one hadn't closed it. Sun poured into the warehouse and he smiled and closed it. "It's all yours, Gorg," he told him.

Gorg inclined his head slightly, showing more humility than he had to any other being, before hefting the wardrobe and walking out, knowing he would be the one to lead his clan to the land his gods had promised them.

"Maybe if I held a blood drive I could get enough," Jesse said thoughtfully.

"If anyone could make enemies of everyone at a blood drive, it'd be you, bro," Xander said. "I believe in you!"

"Thank-Hey!" Jesse exclaimed, as they burst out laughing.

"I can just picture it, you greeting everyone as they give blood with 'Hi, my name is Jesse, a pox upon your house, next!" Xander said.

Jesse laughed along with them this time.

"Enough with the swords," Willow said, "nails are going to be expensive enough."

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "it takes a lot of blood to make nails for furniture and they're really small."

"Fine, but I still want to learn to make a sword," Jesse said, "I'm sure there are some other awesome methods I can use."

"I'll ask for more books on making weapons," Willow said, "we've got enough books on furniture for now."

"We'll start with forging regular nails," Xander said. "Well, normal enough anyway. They call for simple metals that we can buy to melt down like copper and silver."

"Cheaper than blood," Jesse guessed. "Let's put the new Porta John against the wall, then we can go to lunch."

"I was going to practice my carving," Xander said. "How about we order pizza instead?"

"Sounds good, but have them include soda," Jesse said as he got the dolly. "All we've got left in the fridge is blood and it does not go well with pineapple."

"Um, pardon me, but do you have any Jimson weed?"

"Hi, Mrs. Madison," Willow said, as she turned and saw who it was that had entered.

"Hello Willow," Mrs. Madison replied. "I see you kids are keeping busy."

"Our parents keep saying we're under foot too much during the summer, so we got jobs," Xander replied.

Mrs. Madison watched as the two boys moved a wardrobe that practically radiated power against the wall, while the girls moved a complex ritual circle she was completely unfamiliar with out of the way. She had to admire the utility of carving a ritual circle into a movable surface and crystallizing the blood, so you didn't have to redo it all the time. She hadn't even been aware that you could use crystallized blood that way.

"We have plenty of Jimson weed," Willow assured her. "Prices are cheaper when paying with gold, jewels, or books on forging weapons at the moment."

"Jimson weed is cheap anyway," she waved it off as she tried to figure out if the children she knew had been possessed or replaced.

"Is there anything more expensive you'd like?" Willow asked hopefully.

"Not unless you have a thimble of sand that has been bathed in sunlight, untouched by the night, for a full calendar year," she replied, trying to test them, as possessed being would always flinch at the mention of such a powerful light reagent.

"Sure," Jesse said, opening the cabinet.

Mrs. Madison flinched back from the sudden surge of sunlight before cautiously approaching it.

"Follow me," Jesse said, stepping into the cabinet.

Mrs. Madison cautiously ducked to enter the wardrobe and followed him out into the Infinite Desert, eyes wide as she took in the sights around her.

"It's probably been a lot longer than a year, but will it do?" Jesse asked.

"It's perfect," she said, taking a mason jar out of her purse and filling it up. There was enough sand in that jar alone to ward her house for well over a century and cure her of her Seasonal Attitude Disorder! She followed Jesse back into the warehouse with a smile on her face. "I filled a quart jar with sand. How much do I owe you?"

She knew the cost was probably quite high, but the protections she could make for her home and family with it were priceless!

"Amy's a friend so you get a discount," Xander said. It was just sand, so it wasn't like it cost anything anyway, he thought to himself.

"How about some photocopied pages on forging?" Willow asked, figuring that was about the cheapest thing she could think of.

Mrs. Madison smiled. Beings of light would not inhabit an unwilling host and their generosity marked them as such. "I have the personal journal of the armorer for the Knight's Templar from the Eleventh Century," she offered. "Will that do?"

"That would be perfect," Willow said. "Just drop it off when you get the chance."

"I'll make a copy and get it to you later today," she promised before she left with a spring in her step, nodding to Jerry's sleeping form, propped in the corner by the front door as she left.

"I should encourage Amy to hang out with them," she decided. There were few places safer on the Hellmouth than around such beings and Amy had been moping in her room long enough.

Chapter 7

Chapter Text

Catherine closed her eyes and checked her freshly cast wards, finding them massively stronger than she expected them to be and she had expected them to be near the equal of one's cast by a full coven. There was a bounce in her step as she put away her tools and locked up the attic.

She walked into the kitchen and sipped her coffee feeling the tiredness that had been creeping up on her lately fade away. She smiled and started removing ingredients from the cabinets to make cookies, for some reason, she just felt like baking.

A short time later Amy crept down the stairs, following the smell of chocolate chip cookies to find her mother singing along with the radio as she started on a second batch.

"Fresh cookies on the table," Catherine called out as she greased a pan for another batch.

Amy hurried over to the cookies, happy that her mom was in such a good mood. She knew she probably shouldn't eat too many of them considering her weight problem, but they were so good!

"Do you want to help make the next batch?" Catherine asked her daughter, making Amy's eyes light up.

"Yes!" Amy exclaimed, jumping up to help her mother.

Catherine beamed, guessing the wards had a beneficial effect on her daughter's mood as well, which she had expected, just not to this extent. "I was thinking peanut butter cookies for the next batch."

"Can I make the fork marks?"

"Of course," she agreed. "Are you still friends with Jesse and Willow?"

"And Xander," Amy said, "they kinda hang together."

"They're good kids and it's always nice to have people you can hang out with," Catherine said.

"I haven't seen them much this summer," Amy admitted realizing she'd spent most of it in her room and wondering how it had passed so quickly.

"I need to drop off a binder with Willow, so why don't I drop you off as well after we're through baking?"

"That'd be fun," Amy said as her mother handed her a mixing bowl.

"We have goop," Jesse announced as he came out of the wardrobe, having just checked the old cast iron pot they'd found in the wrecking yard and filled with blood.

"Told you it was hot enough," Sharon said smugly.

"I wonder if we could fry eggs," Xander said thoughtfully.

"Maybe if we had a magnifying glass," Jesse offered.

"Are you going to make another cabinet?" Sharon asked.

"Don't have the wood," Xander said, "I was thinking of making a bookcase for all the books Willow got so I could practice my carving."

"I have an idea," Jesse said suddenly, drawing their attention.

"Yeah?" Xander asked.

"When we do the wardrobe thing they blood turned to glass, right?" Jesse asked.

"It's tougher than glass," Xander said, "we accidentally dropped it against the cement and it didn't even crack."

"That's even better," Jesse said. "What if we made some molds and filled them with blood? That way when we do the next spell we could put them inside the circle and they'd turn into glass too."

"Do you know how to make molds?" Xander asked.

"Sure, you just mold something like Play-Doh or clay around something and then bake it dry. The hard part is cutting it in half without breaking it," Jesse said. "I saw a special on jewelry making where they did that."

"I wonder if we could make nails that way," Xander said.

"You'd break them hammering them in," Sharon said.

"Depends on how hard they turned out to be," Xander replied.

"Might work if you're careful," Jesse said.

"You'd need the thing to make the mold," Sharon said. "Nails are pretty easy to get and I have some swords my brother left behind. They aren't real swords but they are the right shape."

"That would be perfect," Jesse said.

"We can get modeling clay for the nails," Xander said, "there are some cool looking square nails we can make molds of, but we still need wood to make a wardrobe."

"Think Gorg dropped off the wood yet?" Sharon asked.

"Let's go check," Jesse said.

"I'll go let Willow know what we're doing," Xander said.

"He means they are going to fool around," Jesse told Sharon.

Xander opened his mouth to deny it but then nodded. "Yep," he said smugly before practically skipping off.

"When you have a girlfriend you get to do a lot of smooching," Sharon said hoping he'd get the hint.

"Wanna be my girlfriend?" Jesse blurted out quickly before he got a chance to get nervous.

"Yes," Sharon said closing her eyes and pursing her lips.

It turned out Jesse picked up obvious hints quite fast.

Xander spotted Willow standing at the counter reading from a binder, so he turned her towards him, wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to hers for several seconds, much to her surprise and according to her smile, her approval. "Hi," Xander said with an answering smile of his own.

"Hi," Amy said absolutely shocked to see them kissing and a little envious.

Xander blushed. "Um, hi Amy," he said awkwardly.

"Mom dropped me off so I could hang out with you guys, if you don't mind," she said self-consciously.

"The more the merrier," Xander said. "Haven't seen you around lately."

Jesse burst in. "Guys we got wood!" He noticed Amy and calmed down. "Hi Amy!"

"Why are you so excited about wood?" Amy asked.

Sharon came in behind him. "Gorg left you a ton of wood and a mountain of bones."

"Really?" Xander said, eyes lighting up before rushing out followed by everyone else.

"Holy sheet!" was heard loudly from Xander as they rounded the corner behind the building to catch up with him and spotted what he was staring at.

"Wow," Willow said looking at the stacks of lumber and truck sized pile of bones. "I don't think we'll be running out of wood anytime soon."

Xander was already climbing around the piles tossing selected pieces on the ground behind him.

Jesse and Sharon started picking them up and carrying them inside.

"What's he doing?" Amy asked.

"Picking the wood to make another wardrobe," Willow guessed.

"Like the one in the chronicles of Narnia?" Amy asked looking impressed. "I've always wanted one of those even if it didn't go anywhere."

"Grab some wood and follow me," Willow said picking up a couple of pieces and waiting for Amy to do the same before leading her through the office and into the warehouse.

Amy stacked the wood with Willow's and looked around spotting the small wardrobe that was set against the wall. "You guys made that?!"

"Yep," Willow said with a grin. "Do you wanna see something cool?"

"Cooler than this?" Amy said in disbelief as she ran her fingers along the runes carved into the base. It looked like some of the writing her mom was teaching her.

"Open it," Willow said as Jesse and Sharon stacked some wood before opening the big doors and grabbing the dolly.

Amy opened the door and stepped back, shocked at the heat and light pouring out of it, before cautiously stepping inside and walking forward. Amy returned less than a minute later, a look of awe on her face. "It's definitely not Narnia, but wow!"

"Yeah, it's pretty good for a second attempt," Willow said proudly.

"That's only the second one you guys have made!" Amy exclaimed in disbelief.

"The second one that goes somewhere," Willow said. "Xander's made over a dozen to practice."

"And you can just… that?" She waved her hands.

"It's magic," Willow said, "but don't tell anyone, the adults are trying to keep it a secret."

"Are we going to make sure the magic circle is pointed the right way this time?" Jesse asked, as they returned with the dolly loaded up with wood, Xander and Sharon closing the large outer doors behind them.

"Yep," Xander said.

"Can we try making the glass nails first?" Sharon asked. "We might as well try it before we make any sword molds."

"If we can get some Play-Doh or clay," Xander agreed.

"It's going to take days to make another wardrobe," Jesse pointed out, "that's more than enough time."

"Yes, but we are not making a wardrobe," Xander said, "we are making a chest!"

"Why a chest?" Jesse asked.

"Cause I wanna see if having the circle aligned right works today and I don't want to make another sunny wardrobe, so chest it is," Xander said.

"If it works, we'd have to crawl through it to reach Narnia," Willow pointed out.

"If it works, I'll make a proper wardrobe," Xander promised.

Willow gave him a quick kiss. "I'll run the counter while you do that, I'm still figuring out the book Amy's mom copied for us."

"Cool," Xander said before turning to Jesse. "I need some metal straps."

"Where am I going to find those?" Jesse asked.

"Cut up some sheet metal," Xander suggested, "or the hood of a car. I just need some long straps of metal a couple inches wide to use as banding on the chest."

"What do I do?" Sharon asked excitedly.

Xander handed her a twenty. "We need clay to make molds for the nails."

"Cool," Sharon said before turning to Amy. "Do you wanna come with me?"

"Sure," Amy agreed finding their excitement infectious.

"We'll be back in half an hour," Sharon said.

"Grab a two liter of soda if you can," Xander said. "We forgot to get something to drink."

"co*ke," Sharon agreed as they left.

"I can't believe you guys built a wardrobe to another world," Amy said as they left.

"Xander and Jesse built it," Sharon said, "I just lit the candles and Willow did the reading part."

"Can I help this time?" Amy asked.

"Sure, we can get you a lighter so you can help with the candles," Sharon said.

They fell quiet as they walked and after a minute Amy asked, "Did you see Xander kissing Willow?"

"Only all the time," Sharon said, "they also hold hands and cuddle a lot. They're dating."

"That is so cool," Amy said. "Wish I had a boyfriend to kiss and hold hands with."

"It's great," Sharon agreed, "and sleeping together is even better!"

"Really?!" Amy asked wide eyed.

"Oh yeah," Sharon agreed. "Jesse is warm and cuddling makes the night not so scary. If I wake up I can hear his snoring and he pulls me closer like I'm a stuffed animal."

"That sounds wonderful," Amy said wistfully.

"Do you wanna share?" Sharon offered.

"Share?" Amy asked curiously.

"Jesse's a good guy, I'm sure I could convince him to kiss you too," Sharon said. "It'll be fun. We'll play spin the bottle."

"Really?!"

"Really," Sharon said, "cross my heart."

Amy hugged the smaller girl. "Thank you!"

"Hey Marl," Willow said. "Knarl root?"

"And some coco if you have any," he replied. "I think the coco worked better than the root. Something about the substance is almost as good as chocolate for helping out the Missus."

"Then why not get chocolate?" Willow asked curiously.

"Can't shop in the stores with all the humans," he replied.

Willow nodded and picked up her backpack opening it and digging around until she found what she was looking for. "Here," she said, handing him a chocolate bar.

"Thanks," he said gratefully. "How much do I owe you?"

"Just keep an eye out for a simple magic theory book," Willow said, "or a simple anything magic book really, like the primer types."

"I'll keep an eye out," Marl promised.

"And I'll start stocking chocolate," Willow replied. "If you need anything else from the human stores let me know, I can shop there easy."

"I'll make you a list of things I know are in demand," he said waving as he left.

Xander poked his head in. "Hey Wils, I need your help making sure the circle is aligned right."

"Sure," Willow said setting aside her notebook.

"Grab a quart of blood too," Xander said, "I'm almost out." He vanished into the back. "Thanks!"

Willow entered the kitchenette and grabbed a quart of blood out of the fridge. She noticed they were down to two gallons and made a mental note to get more.

When she came out she found a customer standing at the counter. Like many of their customers it was dressed in clothes that made it hard to tell what they were. In this case it was dressed like it was winter, wearing clothes made for skiing with a trench coat over it.

"You have life giving fluid?" it squeaked quickly in two voices at once, the slightly deeper voice coming from near the waist.

Willow set the quart of blood on the counter, figuring that was what it wanted.

"What trade?" it asked quickly in its two-part voice.

"What do you have?" Willow asked. It seemed to have a hard time speaking English and didn't sound that bright, so she didn't bother with her spiel.

A hand wearing grubby gloves dug in a pocket and dropped a handful of jewelry on the counter. "Good?"

Good," Willow assured it.

The being grabbed the blood and quickly left, moving so awkwardly she was pretty sure it was one smaller being standing on the shoulders of another. Of course, the pale hand with spindly fingers that came out of the jacket to open the door kinda confirmed it.

She turned off the open sign and locked the door before getting another quart of blood so they wouldn't get interrupted.

"I can't believe we acted like that," a small being said as it climbed into a sewer drain, its body completely concealed by the ski pants that came up over its head.

"That was terrifying," the small being engulfed in a parka agreed as it followed, tripping over the trenchcoat that hung off it like a tent now that it wasn't standing on its companion's shoulders.

"She knew what we wanted the moment we arrived," the first said with a shudder. "A single glance was enough to pierce our glamor and discern our purpose!"

"You're telling me," the top half agreed. "You're lucky I didn't wet myself when I saw what she was working on!"

"She had a box of Kraton scales sitting out in the open," the first said, "I'm surprised we both didn't leave a trail that anyone with a nose could follow in the sewers!"

"Kraton scales?! Are you sure?"

"I was close enough to see them, they were fresh and there was not a trace of blood!"

"That is disturbing," the other one said, "I can't imagine how strong you'd have to be to beat one of those monsters down and scrape the scales off without killing it first."

"What was she working on?"

"Modifying ancient smithing techniques to make more effective holy weapons," it hissed, "and that's not even the worst part!"

"What could be worse than that?!"

"I could only understand a third of what I was looking at!"

"Bite your tail!"

"It's true," the first insisted.

"But we can translate anything!"

"Exactly! How complex must it have been for me not to have been able to fully comprehend it?"

"We must let the clan know," the first one said. "Any deals with her must be done fairly and honestly!"

"On that we are agreed."

Review/Omake by : hvm2k2

hvm2k2 : At least the cabinet didn't open up to Planet Hades from Pitch Black. Or worse: LV-426 / Hadley's Hope. I could just see the horrors that could result from that happening.

"Um, Jesse, did you leave the cabinet door open?"

"No, why?"

The door hung open ominously, and Xander was suddenly aware of a hissing sound coming from above them as the black metallic creature dropped down from the ceiling, a secondary mouth extending from its silvered jaws as a viscus secretion dripped from its maw. Willow and Sharon clung to their boys, trying very hard not to scream.

"I need ten poundsss of Carpathian Blood-Root and a gallon of vampire blood. Would ten pintsss of my Queen'sss Royal Jelly sssufficcce?" the beast hissed.

Willow blinked for a moment before nodding, quickly gathering what the xenomorph needed.

"Many thanksss. Thossse damned Yautja keep finding our hivesss… thisss should help ward againssst them," the creature hissed as it went back through the cabinet taking its purchase with it.

As soon as the blade at the tip of the alien's tail went through the door, Jesse slammed the cabinet door shut before running around the back of it and tipping it over with a crash. "Go get a sledge-hammer - we can't risk those things coming back through."

"Forget sledge-hammer, kill it with fire!" Sharon shrieked.

Review/Omake by : RUGoing2writethat

Xander had been getting really good at carving the runes. So good, he was almost ready to finish Willow's headboard. He was finishing up his latest wardrobe, and had rotated the 'compass' 245 degrees off from where it had been before, but not actually aligning it with true north.

The result, after Willow had completed the chant, was that when Xander opened the wardrobe, he was staring at a rather large Great Dane and a skinny dude in a Green shirt who had just opened a closet door. And if Xander wasn't mistaken, there was a strong smell of weed.

His parents and uncle Rory liked to smoke weed once or twice a year. When Xander was 8, they had let him sit in the room with them while they smoked but none of them would let him try it. While none of them were the epitome of moral and ethical virtue, they weren't about to let Xander try weed, at least not until he was 16. Still, Xander had memorized the smell because it had made him really happy for a couple of days.

"ZOINKS!" said the skinny dude.

"RIKES" said the great Dane as he jumped into the skinny dude's arms. Either the skinny dude was much stronger than he looked or weed gave you super-strength. Either way, the two ran out of view, faster than should have been possible for a skinny dude carrying a 300-pound great Dane.

Xander, Willow, Sharon and Jesse all stared at each other, having recognized the two from the Scooby Doo cartoons. Especially Xander whose world had just been thrown for a loop.

"No… way…" said Sharon, as she was the first to speak.

A nerdy looking girl popped her head into view. "Jinkies! Shaggy and Scooby were right."

Jesse shut the wardrobe and began to dismantle it. He never liked Scooby Doo as much as Xander. "What? It's one thing to watch a cartoon but to have that stuff be real life? No… just no," said Jesse after the other 3 had just stared at him. Sharon started helping him dismantle it when Xander left the room, his hopes of running around in the Mystery Machine dashed.

After it was in pieces, Xander made Jesse help him put it back together in an attempt to reconnect to that world. When Willow finished the chant, Xander opened the door to just a wardrobe. So, he moved the circle and had Willow redo the chant and nothing happened. Well, at least if they connected to a really horrible dimension, they could disconnect it and keep their home safe.

The kids went to the store front and told their 'Uncle' Jerry about the latest portal.

He stared at them for a while before he sighed. He went to his warehouse office, beckoning them to follow. He went to his desk and opened one of the drawers and took out a few photographs. "Did the Dog and skinny dude look like this?" he asked, holding up a photo of Shaggy and Scooby Doo.

They nodded.

He held up a picture of Velma and showed them, "And this is the nerdy girl?"

They nodded.

"And you're sure the portal to that world is closed?"

They nodded again.

"Yes, Sharon and Jesse took the wardrobe apart. Then Xander and Jesse put it back together again but it didn't work; it wouldn't open to anywhere," said Willow.

Jerry breathed a sigh of relief, sat in his chair and said, "Thank God for that!"

"What?" asked Xander.

"Those five things are the most powerful predators in my home dimension. They are what drove me here. They hunt down and eat demons. They arrived one day from who knows where and just started hunting. Powerful demons at the top of the food chain suddenly found themselves in the position of food. That skinny one and the dog-like thing are the scouts. The one in glasses is the Alpha. The other two are kind of harmless since they spend most of their time fu… ahem performing the reproductive act unless the Alpha makes them stop and hunt. My species made the decision to flee because we would be sitting ducks when we hibernate. So, we fled, each to a different dimension. I chose here."

Chapter 8

Chapter Text

"Here's the clay," Sharon said, holding up a bag containing several pounds of modeling clay. "Turns out this stuff is really cheap."

"And I got the soda," Amy said, holding up a bag with a couple of two liters in it.

"Cool," Jesse said with a smile, glad to take a break from sanding, which seemed to be about nine tenths of what he did while helping Xander.

Willow stepped out of the wardrobe and closed the door behind her cutting off the flood of heat and light. "We are down to a gallon of blood, except for the quart and a half you have." She walked over and dropped a couple of empty quart bottles in the trash.

"We can order more when we sell another piece of furniture to Max," Xander said, taking the bag full of clay from Sharon and waving off the change. "Now, let's see if we can make cheap blood nails."

"Soda," Jesse asked eagerly.

Sharon handed him a two liter and he quickly opened it and took a swig. "Ahh… This isn't co*ke."

"RC Cola," Sharon replied, "there was a two for one sale."

"Works for me," Jesse said, taking a long drink before letting out a loud burp and passing it to Willow.

Amy took the second bottle to Xander who was carefully making rows of holes in a grey clay block with an old square nail. "Soda?" she offered.

"Give me just a second," Xander said as he carefully extracted the nail without deforming the clay so the head would come out right. "Done." He accepted the soda and cracked it open, taking a drink. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Amy said with a smile, accepting the bottle back so she could take a drink.

"How close are you to finishing the chest?" Sharon asked Jesse.

"Pretty close," Jesse said. "We've got a little more sanding to do, then we have to mallet the pieces together so the notches fit, then we have to put nails in everything and nail the metal strips in place."

"I'd love to add a lock or even just a latch, but I don't have any and no idea where you can actually buy them," Xander said. "I may have to take them from other things."

"I thought you had to use lacquer, paint, and tack velvet inside," Amy said as she looked over the pieces they had laid out.

"Since this is just a test I'm making a simple chest, not a nice one," Xander explained.

"Then why do you have me sanding everything?" Jesse asked.

"I'm not going to make a crappy chest," Xander said firmly.

"Perfectionist," Jesse said with a sigh.

"How fancy can you make one?" Amy asked.

"Well… " Xander said thoughtfully, "you can run a blow torch over the surface to make the wood grain stand out, you can use handfuls of sand rather than sandpaper to give it a more aged look, if you soak the wood for a few days and use clamps to shape the wood you can make a curved lid rather than a flat one… there's really tons of things you can do. We could also soak everything in blood overnight to darken the wood rather than use wood stain. There are a couple of designs that you need to do that for."

"He'll talk your ear off if you let him," Jesse warned her, "he knows a lot about making things."

"I like making things," Xander said with a smile.

"It is cool," Jesse agreed. "Well, back to sanding, I wanna see Narnia."

"That's the spirit," Xander said, grabbing a piece of sandpaper and getting back to work.

Fifteen minutes later

Willow had helped over a dozen monsters and a human, she was on the fence about being human, get the herbs they needed, making a small stack of bills, a couple of rocks they seemed to think were valuable, and a book about monster bunnies, of which there were hundreds of breeds, in a language that she didn't know.

"Why do they all dress like private eyes?" Amy asked.

"So people know to ignore them," Sharon replied.

"It's a good way to cover up, so people can't see that you're not human," Willow added, as she looked over the list Marl had written for her. Surprised to find that about a quarter of the list was candy, another quarter was cooking spices, and most of the rest was hygiene items.

"Xander's almost ready," Jesse announced, poking his head in the door.

"We'll be right there," Willow said locking the front door and turning off the open sign.

The three girls hurried to join the boys where Xander was rechecking everything before using a basting brush to cover the runes on the chest in blood.

"That looks like it belongs in a dungeon," Sharon said looking at the large wooden chest bound in straps of metal and encircled with runes.

"Cool," Amy said excited to see magic in action and hurrying to help Sharon set up the candles.

"Light every other candle starting with that one and going clockwise," Willow said, pointing to the candle at the north end of the circle.

"Why light them that way?" Xander asked as he set the clay blocks around the chest in the center of the circle and carefully added blood to the molds, making sure not to overfill them.

"One of the new books I got said the magic is stronger if you light them that way," Willow replied, opening her binder to the right page and waiting for everyone to get behind her.

Amy finished lighting the candles and returned the lighter to Sharon giving her a grateful smile.

Xander kissed Willow for luck and moved behind her with the others. "Ready," he said.

Willow took a deep breath and started the spell, ignoring the now familiar wind that began to roar around her as she read it.

Once the wind had stopped and everyone had popped their eardrums, they all rushed forward to see how well it had worked.

"The nails are all… round," Sharon noted as they'd all grabbed bricks of clay and pulled the crystallized blood out of the molds. The nail that had made the molds was square, but the nails had no edges not even the top which was a rounded half sphere of crimson crystallized blood.

"Pretty though," Willow said.

"I don't think you can hammer this into wood," Jesse said as he felt the point of the nail and found it barely pointy at all.

"No, but I can hammer them into holes other nails have already made," Xander said, recalling the section on using breakable materials as nails.

"Yeah, that would work," Jesse said.

"Every nail head looks like a drop of fresh blood," Amy said. "This would be killer for Halloween."

"Plus red goes well with gold," Xander said. "Imagine a jewelry box with gold banding and red nails."

"You can make jewelry boxes?" Amy asked.

"Not yet, but we'll get there," Xander said confidently as he turned the trunk on its side and lifted the lid.

A huge flood of water slammed into Xander, throwing him backwards knocking the trunk right side up and closing the lid with a thud.

"Xander are you okay?!" Willow exclaimed as she helped him up.

"Yep, just wet," Xander replied as he wiped the water off his face. "I think that one opens in a lake."

"Or a sea," Jesse said wondering if there was a mop nearby or if the drain would take care of it.

"It was freshwater, no salt," Xander said, as he got ready to open the trunk once more, positioned to throw himself on top of the lid if water flooded out of it.

"I don't think we need any more water bro," Jesse said.

"Yeah, but it could have opened into a lake because I had it on its side," Xander explained, " I wanna see if having it right side up changes things."

Jesse moved to stand beside him. "Okay then let's both do this on three."

"One," Willow said, not wanting to be left out.

"Two," Sharon said with a grin and looked over at Amy.

"Three!" Amy exclaimed.

Xander and Jesse yanked open the chest ready to jump on top of it… but nothing happened.

"Maybe it only works on its side?" Sharon offered.

Xander and Jesse let the lid fall completely open and looked inside.

"We got lake," Jesse said. "I can see fish."

"We could go fishing without needing beer and a boat," Xander said.

The girls gathered around and stared. The bottom of the trunk was missing and there was a flat plane of water in its place. They could see schools of fish and light shining down from somewhere above, but the bottom of the lake was too far away to see.

"I dub thee… The Fish Bowl," Willow announced.

"Cool name," Sharon said.

"Can we move it or is it going to be stuck in place or too heavy?" Jesse asked curiously.

"Let's find out," Xander said grabbing one end of the chest.

Jesse grabbed the other and they easily lifted it and duck walked it to where the small wardrobe was.

"Can't tell if the opening moved," Xander said, "but we can move the trunk easy enough."

"I think the circle makes it open to a different place depending on where we turn it," Xander said. "Not sure any of them will be Narnia though, since they all seem to be empty, of people anyway."

"Probably because we used animal blood," Willow said. "People blood is probably needed to open to a place with people."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Xander said.

"It could also be your carving," Jesse pointed out. "That was the first circle you carved and you're a lot better at it now."

"And we've got boards that won't splinter so easily when I carve them," Xander said eagerly.

"We'll need more candles," Willow pointed out.

"It'll take me a day to carve another circle," Xander said.

"We need to buy a bunch of stuff from the store," Willow said, "the monsters have a long list of stuff. I'll add human blood to the list of things to trade for. I know at least one of the regulars works at the morgue and they have to drain all the blood out of people before they embalm them."

"If we can get all the shopping done tomorrow we'll have enough time to make one more wardrobe before school starts," Xander said.

*RING*

"That's the door, be right back," Willow said.

Sharon turned to Jesse and kissed him, making him smile. "Now kiss Amy."

"Sure," Jesse replied stepping up to Amy who closed her eyes and pursed her lips. He had no idea what was going on, but that didn't mean he was going to complain.

"I thought you two were dating," Xander said.

"We are," Sharon agreed cheerfully as Amy had her first kiss, "but we got more girls than guys so Jesse has to be her boyfriend too, so she doesn't feel left out."

Xander considered that and nodded. "High five!"

The two slapped their hands together.

"And a big hug," Sharon reminded Jesse, as Willow returned.

"I thought Jesse was dating Sharon," Willow said.

"He is, but Sharon doesn't want Amy feeling left out," Xander explained.

"You are a great friend," Willow told Sharon. She turned to Xander. "Would you mind hugging her too?"

"Sure," Xander said stepping forward and hugging them both. "Group hug!"

Sharon and Willow quickly joined the three. Amy laughed from the center of the group hug as a tickle fight broke out, started by Sharon who couldn't resist.

Several minutes later when everyone was tuckered out Willow said, "Almost forgot, Amy your mom is here, she's busy dusting our coat rack, who is a sleeping monster named Jerry."

"That is one deep sleeper," Jesse said.

"Think we gotta move the workshop?" Xander asked Willow.

Willow shrugged. "If we do, we can just move everything inside the cabinet and move that."

"The heat would dry everything out and the sand gets in everything," Xander said. "Let's try and make a cabinet that leads to a nice cave or something, where it isn't so hot."

"If south is a desert and north is an ocean… do you think east or west would be a forest or a mountain?" Amy asked, having laced her fingers through Jesse and Willow's, the three of them swinging their arms back and forth.

Xander laced his fingers through Willow's free hand and one of Sharon's and joined in the swinging. "Only one way to find out."

"Build a trunk?" Sharon asked, completing the circle as the five tried to coordinate their movements and get a wave going with their arms.

"Nah," Xander decided. "We'll make full wardrobes for the last two, so it'll be easier to move everything if we need to."

The group started walking in a circle, clockwise while trying not to trip over each other.

"If it's on a mountain side, I say we build a cabin," Jesse said. "I've always wanted a cabin in the mountains with lots of snow."

"That sounds so cool," Amy said excitedly. "Cordelia always brags about going to Spain or something for ski season, imagine her face if we had pictures of the group of us playing in the snow to show off."

Everyone stumbled to a stop trying not to fall as Willow stopped. "Sweety?" she asked Xander hopefully.

"Yes, we can make a cabin to screw with Cordelia," Xander assured her getting a kiss.

"Do we know how to make a cabin?" Jesse asked as they started walking in a circle again.

"Nope," Xander replied, "but books on building stuff like that you can find in the library."

Jerry finished his yawn and was surprised to find his mouth wasn't filled with dust as he'd fallen into hibernation mid-yawn and that Catherine Madison was standing in front of him. "Hello?" he asked curiously.

"Good morning Jerry, sleep well?"

"Like a rock," he said, covering his confusion with a millennia old joke.

"Some beings have been running the store for you while you were asleep," Catherine explained.

"What?!" he asked horrified before rushing behind the counter and finding the till full and a shoebox filled with cash behind the counter. "I think they're running it better than I do," he muttered.

"They've made some changes to your normal policies," Catherine said, amused and gestured to the chalkboard Willow had set up and written her spiel on, along with a list of the current deals and types of books she was looking for.

"That's… Yeah, I can see how that would work, if you could actually trust the customers," he said, going over the percentages in his mind.

"I don't think the locals would care to cross them," Catherine said dryly, "but since you're awake they may decide to move on to someplace else. I'll do some work on your wards, so that won't be a problem."

"What will it cost me?" Jerry asked suspiciously.

"Be nice to the children the beings are inhabiting," Catherine said. "My daughter is friends with them."

"And you'll give me violence avoidance wards?" he bargained, knowing it was too much to ask for and figuring they'd settle on avoidance wards keyed to hostility.

"By salt and silver," Catherine swore, offering her hand.

Jerry shook her hand without thinking about it sealing the deal. "Really?" he asked in disbelief.

"Really," Catherine said, having more than enough sand left to ward a quarter of the town.

Willow came in and saw their hatrack Jerry was awake much to her surprise. "Good morning Jerry, sleep well?"

"Very well," he said sensing nothing amiss about the small girl wondering if Mrs. Madison was mistaken.

The bell above the door rang as a large figure in a trenchcoat and fedora entered.

Jerry's eyes widened as he saw it was Gorg, the champion of the Kratons.

"Small being you are lucky I don't crush you," he growled out.

Willow smiled widely as she recited the threat Xander and Jesse had helped her come up with, "I should reach up your butt and pull your tongue out through it, so it's the last thing you taste before you die, but lucky for you I don't want to get my hand dirty."

Gorg sniffed the air and could smell terror from the two larger creatures, but only amusem*nt from the smaller one.

"Enough pleasantries," Willow said. "What can I help you with today?"

"The gateway you granted my clan lead to a place of wonder, but we can not find water, no matter how hard we look," Gorg explained.

"That's the only downside to the place," Willow said, "but we've got a lake full of fish in a trunk if you want it."

"What would the cost be?" Gorg asked cautiously.

"Some of your cast off scales," Willow replied, "Jesse wants to try his hand at forging a blade, he needs material to smelt and I want him to have a good supply."

"But my scales are fireproof," Gorg replied confused.

"I know," Willow admitted, "but Jesse doesn't and the look on his face is going to be hilarious."

Gorg laughed, the sound like boulders being ground together. "It shall be so," he said formally.

"Good, now let's get you a lake," Willow said. "Or maybe an ocean, it's pretty big so remember to have someone nearby to close the trunk and turn it upright so you don't flood everything."

After the two had passed into the warehouse Jerry turned to Mrs. Madison. "How powerful…"

"Very," she said soberly, "but thankfully also light, as you can tell."

"Yes," Jerry agreed, glad the witch could sense them because she was invisible to even his senses appearing to be a simple child of great magical potential.

Catherine smiled, glad to have confirmation of her guess from Jerry, whose specie's senses were famed for seeing through all glamours.

Chapter 9

Chapter Text

Jerry looked at the wooden rack Xander had thrown together. High quality wood, expertly sanded, and filled with items you could buy at a convenience store.

He was making more money from mundane items than he used to make simply selling roots and herbs, which he was also doing a brisk trade in. If it wasn't for the fact that his people didn't dream, he'd swear he was still asleep.

Jerry shuddered as bits of electricity went arcing between his horns much to his shock. Mrs. Madison had said she was going to construct the strongest wards she could, using reagents from the shop to strengthen the connection, but this was far beyond what he'd ever thought possible!

Catherine Madison sauntered in the door to the shop looking pleased with herself. "Wards are up," she said smugly.

"I noticed," Jerry said numbly. "How did you make them so strong?"

"It's easy when you have the right ingredients to work with," she said modestly.

Willow entered the shop. "Hi," she said brightly, wrote something on the board, picked up a book from behind the counter and vanished back into the warehouse.

"Five vials of Re'em blood, no golden hind blood please," Jerry read. "I don't even know what those are."

"Re'em are either unicorn or wild oxen, possibly aurochs," Catherine explained. "They are sometimes referred to as golden oxen in some places. The golden hind is a different creature altogether, whose blood can kill a god, Greek ones anyway."

"I can see why she would make the distinction," Jerry said. "I doubt she'll get either around here."

"This is the Hellmouth, there's no telling what's available for the right price," Catherine said.

The bell rang over the door and a broad shouldered man who was losing his hair came in. He looked over the board and tapped his chin. "I need six drams of frankincense and myrrh, I can deliver a gallon of human blood, not forcibly taken, Monday, is that enough?" he asked.

"Let me check my stocks," Jerry said pulling out a ledger and checking his inventory. "Yes, it looks like we can accommodate you. "Check with Willow to make sure."

Willow and Amy sanded the ends of a slab of wood to remove the rough spots while Jesse and Sharon clamped sections of wood together.

Xander finished his carving and set down the mallet and chisel, passing the finished piece to Willow and Amy. "Looks like we're almost done," he said with a smile. "With all of us working on it, it's gone really fast."

"I'm just glad I'm not sanding everything," Jesse said, "it made my arms hurt."

"That's how you build muscle," Willow said, before stopping to massage her arms.

"Speaking of muscles…" Jesse said hopefully.

"I wrote it on the board," Willow assured him. "I don't know that it'll work like in Harry Potter, but Re'em blood is worth a shot."

"Cool," Jesse said. "I gotta get really strong to be able to make weapons!"

"I had Gorg make a pile of scales out back, so you'd have plenty to forge with," Willow said with a grin.

"Cool, you're the best!"

"Yes, she is," Xander said giving her a hug before grabbing some sandpaper. "Let's get this done so we can play in the snow!"

"What about the blood goop?" Amy asked, gesturing to the sun cabinet.

"That's for nails," Xander said, "Jesse wants to make swords."

"It's about a quarter full of goop," Sharon said, "you should be able to get several nails out of that."

The door from the office opened and a tall man entered.

"Fred," Willow greeted him, "came for more traditional embalming supplies?"

"Some people prefer the old ways," Fred replied, "I can deliver a gallon of human blood from my clients on Monday, if that's okay with you."

"Can you make sure they died non-violently?" Willow asked.

Fred nodded. "That's not a problem, the blood of the elderly isn't in high demand, too many drugs."

"Drugs?" Sharon asked curiously.

"Medicines," Fred explained, "plus all the vitamin and mineral supplements they use."

"That shouldn't matter for what we're using it for," Willow decided after a moment of thought.

"I'll deliver it Monday afternoon during lunch," Fred promised before vanishing into the aisles to get his payment.

"Do you have the new circle ready?" Jesse asked Xander.

"No, but I will by Monday," Xander said as he worked. "I'm making sure I get it perfect this time."

"Our last weekend before school," Jesse said with a sigh.

"I know, mom is taking me shopping for school clothes on Friday," Willow said. While she loved school, clothes shopping was a pain.

"So, is mine," Amy said brightly. She enjoyed getting new clothes and finding things that would look good on her. "We could go together."

"You guys are lucky," Sharon said, "I'm stuck with my older brother's hand me downs."

"But they look cool on you," Jesse argued.

"They look baggy," Sharon replied. "I wish I'd had an older sister to hand me down clothes."

"Want mine?" Willow asked. "You're smaller than me, so even the stuff I've outgrown should fit."

"That would be great!" Sharon exclaimed, rushing over to give Willow a hug.

"And mine," Amy quickly added, holding out her arms for a hug.

"How about you, bro?" Xander asked.

"I don't think she wants more guys hand me downs," Jesse said, "no matter how much she rocks them."

"I meant clothes shopping," Xander replied.

"Same as always," Jesse said, "I'll trade half the collared and button ups they make me get, for half the comfortable t-shirts and jeans you buy."

"Why not just go shopping together?" Amy asked as Sharon released her.

"If he goes with me, all my parents will let him buy is stuff that is way too nice to be comfortable," Jesse replied with a shrug.

"My parents don't go shopping with me," Xander said, "so I can get what I want, but the nicer stuff is pricey, so we trade."

"I can't wait for high school," Jesse said, "we can get our own cars and maybe then my parents will let me pick out my own clothes."

"Narnia first, high school later," Xander said, waving back to what they were working on.

"Slave driver," Jesse joked as they got back to work.

"Sorry, but I gotta take the girls and hit the books," Willow said. "We got a lot to translate."

"And suddenly I don't mind sore arms," Jesse said.

"Better than a sore brain," Xander agreed.

"Keep it up buster, we have a study session scheduled tonight," Willow teased him.

"Yes, but then I get Willow kisses for right answers, that helps my brain feel better," Xander replied.

"Do we get Willow kisses?" Amy joked with Sharon.

"I hope so, I hear they help make brains feel better," Sharon replied with a grin as Willow blushed.

The boys burst out laughing with the girls joining in a second later.

The next day

"Ready?" Xander asked.

"It's pointed east, the wood stain and glue dried overnight, thanks to the heat from the sun cabinet," Jesse replied gesturing to the sign he'd tapped to the smaller wardrobe, "and you've painted everything with blood, like Hannibal Lector at a barbeque. I think we're ready."

"Ready to ignite," the girls chorused with a grin, holding up their lighters and giggling.

Xander grinned. "I know, I know, I'm a perfectionist." He took a lighter out of his pocket as did Jesse and they all took their spots by the candles.

"Remember the order," Willow ordered as she lit her candle and the others followed in the correct pattern.

The four kids quickly moved behind Willow as she picked up her binder and cleared her throat.

"They seem almost casual about ripping open a whole in the universe," Jerry whispered. "I thought you had to be solemn or determined."

"I do, they seem to prefer joyous and excited," Catherine whispered back, making sure to keep her voice low enough not to interfere.

Willow started her incantation, her harsh guttural words quickly drowned out by the roar of the wind until she finished a few seconds later.

"Let's open her up and see where it leads," Jesse said eagerly.

"Willow, will you do the honors?" Xander offered.

Willow beamed and reached for the door as they eagerly gathered around, but then she paused. "Maybe we should open it from the side."

"And be ready to pull it onto its back," Jesse realized.

"Shouldn't be underwater, but yeah," Xander agreed.

Xander and Jesse moved behind the wardrobe and tilted it back so they could drop it if needed.

"Ready," Jesse said.

Willow cautiously cracked open the door and froze for a moment. "Okay, no flood."

Jesse and Xander let it lower back onto its base and Willow opened the door and scrambled inside, popping back out a second later.

"We have forest!" she exclaimed and vanished back inside.

The rest of the children quickly disappeared inside the wardrobe as well.

Catherine and Jerry exchanged glances before following them through the wardrobe and out into a forest, the likes of which hadn't been seen on Earth in centuries.

"Look at the size of these tracks," Jesse said as the children gathered around a set of clawed tracks the size of a dinner plate.

"I think it's bear tracks," Willow said as they all stuck their hands in to see how it dwarfed them.

"Probably not even safe to pee here without being heavily armed," Jesse said.

"Back in the wardrobe," Sharon said firmly, "I'm not getting a bunch of friends only to lose them to Yogi and Boo-Boo."

"Good point," Willow said grabbing Xander's hand and pulling him towards the hole in the air.

Sharon had wrapped an arm around Jesse and Amy and was pushing them in front of her, much to Catherine's amusem*nt as she followed along. Jerry took one last deep breath, looked up at the canopy from the massive trees and followed them with a smile on his face.

Xander waited until Jerry was out before using a strip of duct tape to make sure the door stayed closed. "What do we call this one?" he asked.

"The Larder," Willow said. At everyone's confused looks she explained, "If we ever run out of food and have to go hunting, that would be the perfect place."

"As long as the food doesn't catch you first," Jesse agreed getting a laugh.

"Who wants to bet turning the circle west gets us mountains and snow?" Sharon asked.

Willow waited until it was obvious no one was going to take her up on that bet before wondering aloud, "Would a quarter turn get us something in between?"

"Don't know, but probably," Xander replied. "We may have to make two circles with one on top of the other to really tune it that way."

"Glad we got a gallon of blood coming," Willow said, "we're going to need it to make all those circles."

"Yeah, but first we need to use the animal blood circle one last time so we can have a nice snowy retreat," Xander said. "Of course if it is anything like the last place, all animals no people, which it will be, we are going to need something a lot sturdier than a cabin and learning to shoot isn't a bad idea either."

"I want a castle," Sharon told Jesse. "If we're looking at ice bears and mountain lions, stone's the way to go."

"That's not a half bad idea," Xander said, surprising everyone.

"I'm pretty sure it's a horrible idea," Sharon told him, "I was just teasing Jesse."

"No, seriously," Xander said. "They have kits to set up stone igloo type buildings. It'll be a bit expensive, but if we save everything we get from making furniture for a couple of months we can buy one."

"We can carry it through brick by brick," Jesse swore.

"I was thinking of paying someone else to do all that," Xander said, "that's why I said we have to save so long, the kit isn't that expensive since it's mostly rebar and cement."

"We should still learn to shoot," Amy said, "for safety's sake and for when we go outside."

"It'll be fun," Sharon agreed, backing her up.

"And you need to learn to make jewelry boxes," Willow told Xander.

"Huh?" her boyfriend replied confused.

"If you make small boxes and we set the circle to the south they can be used to heat the place," she explained.

"Can you carry a portal through a portal?" Jesse asked.

"Sure, just don't have it open while going through, that would be bad," Willow replied, thinking of dungeons and dragons. "I don't think we need a chunk of Sunnydale sucked into the Astral Plane."

"It would only be a small chunk," Xander agreed, "but yeah, I'll make sure the portable portals have latches so they can't open on accident."

"I still want a fireplace," Willow told Xander firmly.

"And a bearskin rug for in front of it," he agreed, "no sense in having a lodge in the mountains without one."

"I'll order a couple of gallons of animal blood," Willow said, "we can get it delivered."

"Let's go swimming," Jesse said, coming out of far left field, causing everyone to turn to look at him. "School starts Monday, and everyone is shopping Friday," Jesse explained.

"Swimming it is," Willow agreed, the others chiming in agreement and quickly putting everything away and dashing out the door.

"Whatever is possessing them certainly isn't trying to control them or take over their lives," Jerry noted.

"Beings of light," Catherine said with a shrug.

Omakes

Samsas' Review:

Quote: hvm2k2 : At least the cabinet didn't open up to Planet Hades from Pitch Black. Or worse: LV-426 / Hadley's Hope. I could just see the horrors that could result from that happening.

Now I so want to see a Riddick crossover or better yet have Riddick crossing over and checking on the group once in the while. No more Mayor hello Riddick as the new Overlord/Ruler of Sunnydale.

AU

Sitting in the abandoned ruins of the outpost, Riddick pondered his options. There hadn't been many of them to survive the crash. Fry had seen to that with her little stunt, just the four of them or rather the him now. Not that that going to matter, as the eclipse was coming and those below were hungry so very hungry. Swallowing down the last of the water a sudden flash caught his eyes from the windows. In the middle of the yard the air rippled and a doorway suddenly appeared, bring with it the scents of herbs, motor oil, blood and… people. Putting the cup over to the side. Riddick glided to his feet.

"What do we have here?"

Silverscale - Roll the Die

Tch'lech was a weak being, not powerful in magic or strength, but he held great knowledge. His kind were commonly referred to as 'Squid Heads', a common insult for his kind. Tall thin humanoids with thin long fingers and a head in the shape of a four tentacled octopus. They commonly known for eating brains for not just sustenance but to obtain knowledge of their victims, and for having a severe weakness for sun light and physical pain.

But his own personal weakness, was that unlike the rest of his kin, he did not share their psionic abilities. He was a rare mutation without any aptitude for mental powers. Not even having the ability to eat brains to obtain memories.

Tch'lech was an outcast by even his own kin, not like they were very sharing and caring to start with. So, he lived as an information broker within the hidden societies of the Hellmouth, trading information for favors, debts and brains. He hated it, the work was demeaning and insulting to not just himself but to the rest of his kind. Knowledge for his kind was to be shared among all of them, but for him, he could only hide or trade it, as he had no telepathy.

But it was the only work he could do, for while he did not have the supernatural knowledge of his normal kindred, he was still rather intelligent. Even if he was insulted by the rest of his kind, he found himself not giving a single flor'chg'l about their opinions, he had no lover for his own kin, not after so many decades of being bullied.

One had to eat, even someone as weak as him.

So, when he received words of an old spice shop opening, and being run by powerful beings disguising themselves as children he got curious. And when news reached him that they were trading with all manners of items, information, food and artifacts in trade for gold, tomes, materials or other manners of payment, he decided to make a visit.

Tch'lech had not had anything to eat for a week, butchers rarely had many brains for sale with how many other creatures within Sunnydale enjoyed eating them too. And he was running out of options.

So, he dressed himself up in a black coat, a hood and covered his face with a scarf. And he walked over to the store as the evening approached.

He opened the door and went inside. Inside of the store was no one, only a small sign placed on the desk along with a bell. The sign said in a slightly sloppy handwriting.

'Busy in the back. Please Ring Bell.'

Slowly reaching out he grabbed hold of the bell and gently rang it. He heard curses from somewhere before a small 'child' walked in from a door in the back and walked over to the desk and gave him a polite smile.

"Hello and welcome. How may we help you?"

Tch'lech lowered his scarf to properly speech and harkled a bit before he spoke, his tentacles shifting and squirming as he did so. It was how he had managed to learn how to speak verbally, it was silly but it was the only way he could communicate.

"I have a need for some… services. I'd like a fresh brain and, if possible, some grams of wolfbane and a bottle of moon water."

The 'child' nodded and smiled at him, it felt awkward, but not unwelcome. He could not remember when someone had treated him like this.

"Oh neat. You're trying to brew a 'Potion of Moon's Shade' right? We have all of that, the brain will take a few minutes, but you can find the rest in our stocks."

Tch'lech blinked before slowly nodding. And he walked over to the lines of spices and saw even some bottles of the liquid he desired. He went about filling up a paper bag with some wolfbane and took two bottles of moon water. As he did so he asked the 'child' something he found curious.

"How did you know?"

The 'child' smiled as she was writing down something on a book with a cover made out of the flayed skin of what Tch'lech recognized as a basilisk lizard.

"You're a Illithid right? We've meet some of your kind before, you normally talk with your mind so I can only assume you are unable to do so for some reason. And Moon Shade is supposed to grant the drinker temporary psionic power every full moon."

Tch'lech released a sigh and gave a nod as he measured up the last of the wolfsbane and walked over to the desk.

"I am a rare mutation, I was born without the innate ability of psionics and I cannot obtain the memories of the brains I devour. I still need to eat them however."

The 'child' smiled at him and closed the book, which he now recognized as a freshly made 'tome of flesh and stone' an old tome that was used in the past to safely preserve magical curses of petrification. He had heard about them, never seen one before.

"Oh, that's sad. Well if possible, we may have a solution for it."

He looked up with a slightly wide eyes and a slight glimmer of hope. And then he narrowed his eyes as he reached into his pocket, where he did not just have his wallet, but a cursed dagger as well.

"And what would you seek in return for such a solution?"

She turned the book around and pointed at a list of items she had been writing in it. Tch'lech's eyes widened as he realized that she was using a freshly made magic tome, one never seen since the ancient times, as a notebook.

"Oh, I like old books, but we also need materials for our projects. So hard to get much of what we need. If you can obtain one or more of these listed items, we'd be willing to help."

He slowly nodded as he read the list. There was several items he could get hand on, and if possible, he could even just limit it to one item of the list to do the bare minimum. That's when he heard the door opening and saw another young 'child', this one a boy, carrying a paper bag that smelled, delicious.

"Here's your brain. Freshly harvested."

Tch'lech accepted the bag, slightly opened it and his eyes went wide at the sight of a bloody brain of a taroghal, a supernatural bull that traversed the astral realms. His tentacles grew moist as drool began to slide out of his maw.

"I will try to get you some of the items. How much do I owe you for my purchase?"

"Either cash, gold, material or some manner of old tome."

He nodded; he had already prepared something along that line. And he pulled out a jar of glass filled with purple tadpoles, the only thing of worth he had on himself. As an Illithid he reproduced by producing tadpoles which were to be merged with another Illithid's tadpoles to become a new Illithid, but because of his mutation and without another Illithid to mate with they were just gathering space in his home.

"Will this do?"

The child's eyes grew wide and she then smiled and accepted the jar with a cheerful look on her face.

"Cool! Illithid tadpoles! These will do perfectly!"

He felt relieved and took his purchase and made to leave the store, when a third voice called out from the open doorway.

"Xander! It's your turn to act! This stupid Elder Brain just won't shut up!"

"So, you admit it that we should just have killed it at the get go?"

"Yes! Just get back here already! It just won't stop monologuing!"

Tch'lech stared silently as the boy entered the doorway, his once purple skin and tentacles almost turning pale pink at what he was hearing. And then he saw the first one that had handled the store leave the sign on the desk before running after the other one.

"Hey wait for me! I want to fry it with my fireball!"

The door was slammed shut and Tch'lech was left standing alone in the store. He slowly turned around and left.

As he exited, he began to rapidly walk away from the shop, clutching his purchase to his side, as his body shivered in terror. Those things were powerful enough to fight an elder of his kin, and yet breaks away from the fight to handle a shop and going to slay an astral bull just to get a brain!?

Tch'lech would do his best to appease to their wishes. He would not inform the rest of his kin about this. Nor would he sell information to others about the shop keepers. He liked to be alive.

Besides, he had no love for his kin.

"And that's a natural 20! Ha! Taste the power of my Fist of Destruction!" Xander cried out with a cheer as his Level 14 wood elf Monk dealt over thirty damage to the big psionic monstrosity on the table map.

Jesse just rolled his eyes as his human paladin was standing behind a Wall of Fire to block or repel the wave of mindflayers trying to preach the inner chamber of the Illithid citadel.

"The brain has taken a severe blow and has temporarily lost some of its mental functions, it is considered to be dazed for one turn." Sharon said from behind the DM screen.

"Oh, cool that means I get advantage on my attack!" Willow said with a grin as her Dark Elf sorceress prepared to launch a targeted spell attack at the giant brain cluster.

In the back of the room was a big freezer, filled to the brim with recently obtained meat produce from a nice fellow who want by the 'Doctor' who had asked them to build him something called a 'Sonic Screwdriver'.

It was a good day to be playing D&D.

-End-

It just felt right for some reason.

AN: And that's a wrap! Happy 4 th of July now I'm off to see what my snortaP want me to continue next!

AN2: I have probably missed a handful of errors in this sucker, but I forgot to sleep last night and I am wiped, bye!

Chapter 10

Chapter Text

Monday

"How was school?" Jerry asked as the small group of children entered the shop.

"A lot easier than I thought it would be," Xander said.

"Last year was harder," Jesse agreed.

"That's because of all the magic work," Sharon said. "The math for making the circle is way harder."

"And English is easy when you spend so much time working on translating half a dozen languages," Amy added.

"Didn't help much for history, but just helping Xander made woodshop a snap," Jesse added.

"Not going to say anything?" Sharon asked the normally talkative Willow.

"It was great," Willow said smugly.

"Is that the 'I told you so' smile?" Jesse asked Xander. "Cause that looks like the 'I told you so' smile and I can't think of what she told us that was right this time."

"We probably weren't listening," Xander admitted as he leaned in close and stared in Willow's eyes as if trying to read what she'd told them in them. After a few seconds of silence he leaned forward and kissed her.

"Did he figure it out?" Amy asked.

"Nah, he just decided to change her smile," Jesse replied.

"It is a different smile now," Sharon agreed as she examined the now blushing Willow's face, before leaning forward and kissing her as well.

"And now it's a different smile," Amy noted curiously. "Does she change smiles for every person that kisses her?"

"Let's find out," Amy said before Willow eeped and fled into the warehouse, the four quickly giving chase.

Catherine entered, having parked the car while the children had come in. "Afternoon Jerry, just open?"

"My clients aren't early risers," he replied.

"Children run through?"

"Chasing Willow to take turns kissing her," Jerry replied.

Catherine laughed for a moment before the feel of a wave of magical energy washed over her making her shiver. "Goddess, that's a lot of power," she said, rubbing away the goosebumps on her arms.

"They opened a Gateway to Winter," Jerry said with a snort. "Takes a lot of power to pull off something like that."

"A Gateway to Winter?" Catherine asked surprised.

"They completed the cabinet," he reminded her.

"Oh," she said, her confusion clearing up, "I thought you meant they opened a gate to The Winter Court."

"Fae?" he asked and shuddered at her nod. "Lord below, I hope not, Summer is easier to handle and I don't like them either. No, I just know how they name things, so I figure they'll call it The Gateway to Winter."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Catherine agreed. "Shall we go see?"

Jerry nodded and put a sign on the counter saying he was in the back before following her into the warehouse.

"Who gets to open it?" Jesse asked.

"Amy," Sharon suggested. "She hasn't opened one yet."

"Works," Xander said. "If you'll do the honors," he told Amy.

Amy beamed as she stepped into the circle and grabbed ahold of the door.

"What are we going to name it?" Jesse asked.

"Let's see what it is first," Willow said as they all crowded around Amy, Jerry and Catherine entered unnoticed.

Amy pulled open the door and a rush of frigid air hit them along with a flurry of snowflakes.

"And we've got winter!" Jesse cheered as Amy pushed the door closed having to use her shoulder. Xander rushed forward to help her as she couldn't close it alone.

"Okay, looks like we'll need some serious cold weather gear before we check it out," Sharon said. "I can't believe we didn't think of that."

"Must be having a storm over there," Willow said.

"So, what's the name?" Xander asked.

"Hmm," Willow considered it for a moment. "Ice box seems too simple… how about Cold Storage?"

"Works," Jesse said with a nod, "and speaking of works, you going to check that cigar box or what?" he asked Xander.

"Sure," Xander agreed and picked up a small wooden box he'd made in shop class that day and had set beside the wardrobe. "I figured it'd make a good AC for my room since ours is broke."

The children gathered around as Xander opened the box and cold air blew out of it, blowing their hair back.

"I so need one of those at my place," Sharon said.

"Bro, how fast can you toss together some AC units?" Jesse asked.

Xander considered it. "The carving is what makes it take so long. I can make simple box in maybe ten minutes, but carving takes another fifteen."

"We all need to learn to carve," Jesse said.

"I'm not as fast as Xander, but I can carve runes," Willow said.

"We can probably get four boxes done in about an hour or so," Xander decided.

"Can we use boxes someone else has made?" Sharon asked. "Cause that would speed things up."

Willow shook her head. "The person who made the box has to be there for when we do the spell or it won't work."

"Plus, they never make them right," Xander said with a frown, "they make them of cheap flimsy stuff."

"So, we make four identical boxes?" Amy asked.

"No," Xander said, "we make four boxes you guys like and are sturdy."

"If you don't care about them, they won't work as well, I think," Willow added. "How you feel about things matters in magic."

"Good, I want a small box," Jesse said, "something just big enough to fit in my pocket."

"Why so small?" Willow asked.

"Cause then I can use it anywhere," Jesse replied. "It's big enough to cool a room and I can keep it in my pocket."

"The runes would have to be real small," Xander said. "I'll have to carve them since I have the most practice."

"I want one big enough to cool the entire house," Sharon said, "I'm going to stick it in the attic."

"I want one the size of Xander's," Amy said," so it can fit inside the vents. I'll just leave it open in there and have free AC, we can adjust by closing vents in the house."

"Same here," Willow agreed.

"So, one pencil case, a footlocker, and two cigar boxes," Xander said with a nod. "We'll do Sharon's first, since it's the biggest, and that will give us the pieces to make Jesse's from the scraps."

"I can carve the runes on hers while you do Jesse's," Willow offered.

"Sounds good, let's go," Xander said and the children rushed outside to choose the wood.

Jerry walked over to the circle and picked up the wardrobe, moving it to the wall next to the other two. "I still think Gateway to Winter sounds more appropriate."

"It does, though Cold Storage is more of a practical description," Catherine said.

"I can't believe they are going to use portals to other worlds as air conditioning units," Jerry said.

"Apparently the being are letting the children do what they will," Catherine guessed. "It could be a test to see what they choose, part of educating the children in such matters, or maybe they are simply on vacation."

"Vacation?" Jerry asked in disbelief.

"Just by being here they are spreading their influence and affecting things," Catherine pointed out, "with little to no effort."

"The forces of light are tricky that way," Jerry said thoughtfully, "they do understand subtlety. Well it's better than some epic quest."

"Unless you count their attempts to reach Narnia," Catherine said with a chuckle making Jerry snicker.

Tuesday

"Everyone ready?" Xander asked, sweating heavily as he was bundled up like he was about to climb Everest, wearing several coats and pants along with three pairs of gloves and a snowcap.

His friends made muffled sounds of agreement from within their own cocoons of clothes as they waddled forward looking like if they tripped they wouldn't so much fall over as roll.

Catherine and Jerry watched, extremely amused.

Xander opened the door and was nearly blown backwards by the wind coming out of the cabinet, but he leaned forward and pushed against it, the others following in his wake.

Catherine and Jerry both shivered as the temperature in the warehouse steadily dropped and snow began to collect on the floor in front of the wardrobe.

"I don't think I'll be going through that one," Jerry said, speaking loudly to be heard over the wind through the wardrobe.

Catherine nodded, rubbing her arms and noting the way her breath was fogging the air.

The children stumbled back out of the wardrobe and Xander and Jesse forced the door closed once more.

"Okay, way too windy and cold," Willow said once she'd unwrapped her face from the scarf she had wrapped around her bright pink ski-mask.

"Yeah," Sharon agreed, "I don't know how you'd managed to convince anyone to build a lodge there."

"Time to make a new circle," Willow decided. "I can figure out a better one now."

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "looks like we'll be busy for the next couple of days."

"Help!" Jesse called out, having fallen over and was trapped in his clothes, unable to get out of the multiple layers without help.

Friday

"I love the weekend," Willow said, as they all piled in Catherine's car as she picked them up from school.

"I thought you loved school," Amy said.

"She loves sleeping with Xander," Sharon teased, causing Catherine's eyes to widen.

"I love when we all sleep in a big pile after watching a movie," Amy offered.

"It's comfy," Xander agreed.

Catherine relaxed as she realized they weren't talking about sex, just cuddling.

"We can do that tonight," Jesse said. "Did you guys finish up all the fiddly bits for the new circle?"

"All the math is done, we've got the blood, and Xander has completed the wardrobe, which you should know as you were helping him," Willow said.

"Yep, he even let me help with the carving," Jesse said proudly, before taking a small box out of his pocket and opening it up, the frigid air cooling the back of the station wagon better than the car's AC.

"You do pretty good on the large runes," Xander complimented him.

"Still planning on building a lodge in Cold Storage?" Catherine asked, glancing in the rear-view mirror and seeing Xander and Sharon start a thumb war.

"It's too cold and windy," Willow said, "we barely got five feet before we had to return and warm up, we're going to make a second circle and try to tune it to a world that's a bit warmer."

"I still say we should just turn it to a halfway between Cold Storage and Larder," Jesse said.

"We're going to do that too," Willow agreed, "but we want to get the best place possible for the Lodge. Upsetting Cordelia is fine and all, but we want to have fun too."

"And see if two circles on top of each other point to the same place," Xander added as Sharon wrapped her free hand over their joined hands to trap his thumb in place.

"So, the human blood and new wardrobe are for making a second circle and testing it?" Catherine asked as she stopped at a stop light.

"No, we don't want to mix the types of circles yet," Xander said.

"We have a bit more complicated circle for the human blood," Willow said proudly.

"It's a lot more than 'a bit," Amy argued, as she thumb wrestled Jesse.

"I'm bragging by not bragging," Willow said with a grin. "It's three times as complex!"

"More like nine, at least where it came to carving it," Xander said. "Even being careful I had to scrap two circles before I got it right."

"Yeah, but the wood was good enough to use for sun boxes, once we cut the carved bits off," Jesse said, losing as Amy distracted him with a quick peck on the lips.

"So today is where you try the new type of circle," Catherine said trying not to laugh as she'd caught her daughter's actions.

"And it all fits together so perfectly," Willow said as she bounced in her seat until Xander grabbed her hand to calm her down, "we've got three girls and two guys."

"We form the limbs and her… the head," Jesse said, "Voltron is a go!"

The children shared a laugh.

"I've gone over everything twice," Willow said, "with human blood we'll be able to get worlds with people rather than empty ones."

"Still going to need guns for wild animals," Jesse said.

"The classes went well, we've only got two more next week before we've finished our safety training," Xander said. "I can borrow one of my uncles, how about you guys?"

"Me and Sharon are going to need a couple," Jesse said, "my parents are anti-gun now for some reason and Sharon's mom doesn't have any either."

"I have a target pistol," Amy said proudly, "everything else kicks too much."

"I ordered one, but it'll take weeks to get here," Willow said.

"We can put it on the list as a trade item or… I can probably buy some from the pawn shop," Xander said.

"Bro, I think they'd card you," Jesse pointed out.

"Nah, I'd wear a disguise," Xander said.

"The masks aren't that realistic," Willow said.

"I wasn't talking about them," Xander said. "No, what I'd do was wear stuff to make it look like I was trying to look like a human. I wear some cat's eyes contacts with shades on to hide them, cover my skin with makeup and color my neck and wrists with a greenish tinge. Get it?"

"Nope," Sharon said.

"He'd look like a monster trying to look human, so they'd just think he was doing a good job of trying, not that he was," Willow realized.

"A disguise within a disguise," Amy said thoughtfully.

"Exactly," Xander said, "people stop looking for something once they've found it."

"Can I get a 'huh?' For two hundred Alex?" Jesse asked.

Xander grinned. "Once they found what they thought was the answer to why I was dressed that way, they'd quit looking."

"Devious," Jesse said with admiration.

"And we're here," Catherine said causing the children to leap out of the car and race into the shop.

"I'd blame the higher beings for corrupting the kids," she thought aloud, "but I have a feeling it's the other way around."

Chapter 11

Chapter Text

Xander had carved a larger circle around the previous one and cut the wood in between the two so they could rotate it. "Outer ring is set for The Larder, inner ring is set for Cold Storage," Xander said as he and Jesse moved the wardrobe into place with Jerry helping (read; doing most of the work).

"Biggest one yet," Jesse said proudly as he looked over the massive wardrobe.

"It'll make it easier to move the igloo kit through," Xander said as he looked over the wardrobe, wondering if he should have added some designs in the blank sections.

"Got the blood," Willow said, holding up two plastic quart bottles.

Amy and Sharon placed stepping stools on either side of the wardrobe while Xander and Jesse retrieved a couple of basting brushes and paint trays. Catherine and Jerry watched as Willow filled the trays and the two boys painted the runes with blood, the girls following them and moving the stools for them until they were finished.

Willow refilled the trays and they started on the new circle both starting together at the south end and meeting back up at the north, with the girls making sure they'd covered everything properly. The five children tested their lighters and grabbed the candles from the box, each taking a point of the star inscribed in the center with Willow at the top and the boys the legs, Sharon and Xander on the left side, with Amy and Jesse on the right.

"Everyone ready?" Willow asked.

"Ready!" they called out with excited grins.

Willow began chanting as she lit her candle, Jesse joining in as he lit his own followed by Sharon, then Amy and finally Xander.

Catherine shivered as the strength of the magic the children invoked doubled as each joined in. She could swear she felt her ears pop as they finished the spell and the magic rolled over her in a wave, the excess released being soaked up by the wards, strengthening them.

Xander and Willow looked over the new circle and were satisfied to see the blood had crystallized so they wouldn't have to use more blood on it.

"Who gets to open it?" Jesse asked.

"Better be two people, that door can catch a lot more wind," Willow pointed out as they gathered in front of the wardrobe.

"Me and Jesse then," Xander decided moving up to the door.

Jesse joined him, standing right behind him and bracing him. "Let's do it!"

Xander cautiously opened the door and a cold breeze blew out, but he easily closed the door. "Okay it's easy to close, this may have worked."

Jesse moved from behind him. "Open it all the way and let's see."

Xander opened the wardrobe, the front of it larger than the front door of a house being at least a foot taller and wider. On the other side of the door was a forest covered in snow. A waterfall could be heard somewhere close but wasn't visible.

Everyone stared in wonder.

"Bro, this is perfect!" Jesse exclaimed.

"Looks like we can tune the gate," Willow said with a grin.

"What if we put it to Endless Desert and Fishbowl?" Sharon asked.

"Sandy island," Jesse guessed.

"Larder and Fishbowl could give us something like a tropical island," Amy guessed.

"That would be cool," Sharon said with a grin. "Screw the public pool, we could have our own tropical island to go swimming at."

The sound of wolves howling came through the open wardrobe and Xander closed it. "Looks like we still need weapons."

"Air horns and bear mace," Amy suggested. At everyone's curious looks she explained, "Animals don't like loud noises or being sprayed with mace. It'd work for most things so we wouldn't have to shoot them."

"Still need guns, but that is a great idea," Xander said. "How are we fixed for money?"

"I need another box, we're overflowing the old one," Willow replied. "The chairs you made with blood nails sold for a lot more than Max thought they would."

"Cool," Xander said, "the means we can have our lodge built."

"So, we need some builders who won't be bothered by wolves," Jesse said thoughtfully.

"I know some people," Jerry offered. "It's a small crew, but they do good work and don't ask a lot of questions."

"What's the cost?" Xander asked.

"A couple hundred a day, less if they can hunt for food while they're over there," Jerry offered.

"Sounds good," Xander said. "We can order the kit for the lodge and have them set it up."

"I'll give them a call," Jerry said, "a few days hunting beforehand will keep them on retainer and give us an idea of what's in the area. They'll clear out the more dangerous animals for free that way."

"This a lot of effort to annoy Cordelia," Amy said.

"Annoying her is just a bonus at this point," Xander admitted, "I just really want us to have our own place."

"We really need to figure out how to aim the portals better," Willow said, "that way we can have more than one way in and out."

"Not to mention making wardrobes in there that lead to here, so we don't have to have them open all the time," Jesse added.

"It'd suck to get stuck," Xander said, "that's another reason I build sturdy stuff, it'd take a lot to break it."

"I can just see the five of us making a wardrobe out of logs and jumping world to world to find our way back," Jesse said. "Man, that would be a pain."

"My point exactly," Xander said, "so we just have to get better at it."

"If we knew where they all opened, we could keep a spare open to the world we were on for emergencies," Willow said thoughtfully.

"Walkie talkies?" Jesse asked, causing everyone to look at him. "I mean we could get some walkie talkies and they'd let us know if we were in a couple of miles of each other."

"If we were close enough it'd at least help with that," Sharon agreed, "but they aren't real good on directions."

"We could use signal strength to triangulate our positions," Willow said, "but it's kinda hard to do."

"I think it's going to be easier to figure out the magic, since we gotta work on that anyway," Xander said, "though we should get some walkie talkies anyway, so no one gets lost."

"If we could make cabinets that connected to each other, it'd be a good way to get back," Amy suggested.

"I think I ran across some of those," Xander said with a nod. "I'll look into that too."

"Okay, so what do we do now?" Sharon asked.

"Movie marathon at Willow's," Jesse said, "and tomorrow we try out the new circle."

"We're all out of wardrobes, bro," Xander pointed out.

"Yeah, but we can make boxes and peak out the new places. It'll save a lot of time compared to making wardrobes for every test."

"That is a very good idea," Willow said.

"We can make ones just big enough to stick a periscope through so we can look around," Sharon said, recalling her toy periscope at home.

"And mark the settings on the lids," Willow said, "that should make it a lot easier to figure everything out."

"Enough work, we need to do something fun," Sharon said.

"This is fun," Willow protested.

"I mean something else fun, otherwise it's going to be like when we bought all that ice cream," Sharon said.

Jesse groaned. "I couldn't look at ice cream for a week!"

"Exactly," Sharon said, "and I don't want to get tired of this."

"Good point," Willow agreed.

"Let's go get ice cream," Xander said.

The children cheered, before they all rushed out to hop on their bikes.

Catherine laughed and shook her head.

"I'll call the boys," Jerry said, "give them a week of hunting and they may skip charging them."

"They do good work?" she asked.

"Mixed breeds, so they had to make themselves useful to avoid getting driven out," Jerry explained.

"What mix?" she asked.

"Brachen and Fyral," Jerry replied as they made their way back to the front.

"Brachen and Fyral?" she asked in disbelief. "How did that happen?"

"Couple of decades ago their clans signed a truce and there was a lot of alcohol involved," Jerry explained. "I think about fifteen were born, but you know how it goes, only five made it to adulthood."

"I'm surprised that many survived," she said as he moved behind the counter and pulled an address book out from under it.

"The Brachen are a lot easier on their kids, even mixed ones," he said, "all the ones born to the Fyarl's were killed outright."

"At least the Brachen didn't kill them."

"Nah, just made them work harder to keep up with the others," Jerry said as he found the entry he was looking for and picked up the phone. He dialed the number. "Hey Greg, it's Jerry, got a job for you."

"Mom said I have to be home by noon or to at least call," Amy said as they entered Willow's house.

"What's our first movie?" Sharon asked.

"Timerider," Jesse said holding up a VHS. "It's about a guy who goes back to the Wild West on a motorcycle."

"Like Back to the Future?" Amy asked.

"Don't know, haven't seen it yet," Jesse replied, "I just thought it looked cool"

"Pop it in," Xander said, "I'll get the popcorn."

After the movie

"That was kinda like Back to the Future," Sharon said.

"Except he knocked up his own grandmother," Xander point out. "Marty did not become his own father."

"Only because Marty's mom was a 50's girl," Willow said, "if she'd been a bit more assertive, he'd have fallen for her."

"If you went back in time would you have slept with your mom?" Sharon asked Jesse.

"If she was Lea Thompson I would have," Jesse replied.

"Ditto," Xander said, before the girls hit them with pillows and everything devolved into a pillow fight.

After the pillow fight was over (the girls won, teaming up on the guys) they all collapsed on the living room floor and caught their breath.

"If I had a time machine I'd travel to the future," Jesse said, "less chance of sleeping with your mom and you could pick up futuristic tech to patent in the past."

"Why are all the time travel movies about going to the past?" Sharon asked curiously.

"It's more risky and they already know what the past is like so they don't have to think new stuff up," Willow said, "makes it easier to make the movie."

"That sounds about right," Xander said, "cause I'm with Jesse, I'd travel to the future and grab some tech and lottery numbers."

"History books," Amy added, "that way you'd know what's coming."

"But if you went to the future that would change the past… changing the future?" Sharon asked, trying to work it out.

"There are tons of theories on that," Xander said, thinking about all the different comics he'd read. "I like the 'time is a river' theory where it just branches off."

"Branches off?" she asked.

"Yeah," Xander said with a grin, "so the changes you make just make more worlds rather than confusing everything, like you've just added a new branch to the river."

"I wonder if we could make a wardrobe that leads to the future," Willow said, "or rather a future."

"Our aim is so bad we'd end up in a post-apocalyptic wasteland," Jesse argued, "which would still be cool."

"We may end up with a portal to the future just trying to make one leading home," Willow said with a giggle.

"As long as it's not the past," Sharon said, "I don't think of my mom that way,"

The kids burst out laughing.

"Okay, what's the next movie?" Xander asked.

"Willow got something called Lady Hawke and I got Blade Runner," Jesse said.

"We've already seen Blade Runner," Xander said.

"Yeah, but it's cool and futuristic," Jesse defended.

"You just like seeing that one girl do flips in a leotard," Willow teased.

"Nah, though that's cool too," Jesse said, "I like the whole thing and it's Harrison Ford, you can't go wrong with Harrison Ford."

"Well you choose the first movie, it's my turn now," Willow said, getting up and picking through the stack of movies.

"Fair enough," Jesse said rolling over, so he was beside Amy and Sharon. "Movie viewing positions ready!" he called out, grabbing a pillow and stuffing it under his head.

Xander got up, took a seat on the couch, and waited for Willow to join him, "Let the viewing commence!"

Omake - Little Blue Menace - by: RUGoing2writethat

Here's another Omake (and if anyone claims that I've ruined another childhood memory, insert evil laughter here ( ):

They were ready to try the two circles on top of each other.

Xander had made 3 cabinets. The first was going to be a random trial run, the second was for the purpose of putting it at a pre-chosen spot; they had all agreed on it the night before, and the third was for Xander to connect to the Scooby Doo world; he didn't care what Jerry and Jesse said, Scooby Doo was too awesome to pass up and wanted to return to that world.

So they started and when Willow finished the chant, they opened the door to the cabinet. They didn't see anything at first, so they decided to all go inside and have a good look around. They returned two hours later, in quite a state.

"WHAT was that?!" demanded Amy. "That was… that was just wrong."

Xander and Jesse were already beginning to take it apart as Amy continued her rant. "The Smurfs are supposed to be tiny creatures, three apples high and very sweet and gentle. They are not supposed to be monsters that hunt and eat humans!"

"Amy calm down," said Sharon but, Amy had to get it out.

"And Azrael, of all things, being the 'Last Descendant of the Thundercats, Last of the House of Lion-o' is wrong. Azrael is the bad guy!"

"Amy, you really should calm down," said Willow.

Amy was beginning to radiate magical energy. "And Gargamel, leader of the Human Freedom Fighters, fighting against The Smurfs' oppression of humans. Fighting to free the 'human cattle' and give them a better life. It's wrong… it's all just wrong."

Xander felt sympathy for Amy having had her childhood memories destroyed like that. He thought about it and he realized, he should probably refrain from visiting Scooby World. He didn't want to go there, hoping to solve mysteries, only to have his childhood ruined. He could wait for summer before making that decision.

Omake - by: zmanjz

Looks at a room full of cabinets and chests and decides to peek inside a few:

[Creak] sees a forest made of candy with a purple clad gentleman in a velvet suit munching on a chocolate bar. [Slam]

[Creak] sees a room with a circular console covered in random bits and a tall raggedy man with a big chin in suspenders and a bow tie. [Slam]

[Creak] Sees a stone block room with a large turtle/dragon hybrid standing in front of a mirror. The creature keeps transforming between a huge spikey version, and a humanoid feminine version by putting on and taking off a crown. [Slam]

[Creak] Sees a man in a red coat and a red hat carrying two really long pistols. He looks at the doorway and smiles a fanged smile [slam]

[Creak] Observes a bar fight with people using magic, and two flying cats. Some short old guy appears to be crying about the damage from an upper floor balcony. [slam]

[Creak] horses? A bunch of horses with markings on their flanks walking around talking in a quaint village [slam]

[Creak] looks like a room full of cheese wheels cheddar perhaps? [slam]

[Creak] a wooded clearing where a bunch of ostrich-like birds in different colors were slumbering [slam]

[Creak] observes your back and the inside of an open wardrobe where you could see your back, and the same scene repeated infinitely. As you wave your hand, the infinite yous wave your hand. [Slam]

Chapter 12

Chapter Text

The bell rang and Jerry looked up from where he was going over the books to see The Boys enter.

Calling them The Boys was a bit misleading as three of them were girls, but they'd come up with the name for their group when they were eight and had stuck with it.

Despite being crossbreeds they looked mostly human, if you ignored the curved ram like horns, claws and fangs. They dressed alike in heavy duty work boots and coveralls with leather trench coats and fedoras on top of bright red hair.

"You have a job for us?" one asked hopefully.

"Greg, good to see you," Jerry greeted him. "I have a job for all five of you. Follow me." He lead them back into the warehouse where the kids were working on a white board with a number of symbols on it and a list of symbols matching where they'd already opened doorways to.

"Hi," Jesse greeted them as they followed Jerry. "Impressive rack," he told one of the girls.

"Thanks," she replied with a bright smile.

"Jesse!" Willow exclaimed, horrified at his rudeness.

"What?" he asked cluelessly, as the rest of the kids stopped what they were doing to pay attention.

"You aren't supposed to talk about a girl's breasts like that!" Willow complained.

"I was talking about her horns," Jesse said.

"Oh, sorry," Willow apologized.

"Her breasts are nice too," Jesse said unconcerned, "but her horns are amazing!"

"Brian and Sarah polish them for me," she told him with pride. "Linda," she offered her hand.

"Jesse," he said as he shook her hand.

Introductions were quickly made revealing the two male demons to be Greg and Brian, with Greg being a couple of inches shorter and having blue eyes to Brian's green. The three female demons had hazel eyes with Sarah being the shortest at just six feet tall, a couple of inches shorter than Greg and while Maggie and Linda were about his height with Linda having the largest horns, their black curved length a quarter of a turn longer than the others.

"I'm told you have a job for us?" Greg asked hopefully, when Jerry waved for him to talk to Xander.

"Yes," Xander said. "We need a small stone building set up." He walked over to the massive wardrobe labeled 'The Lodge' and opened the door.

The five demons stared in wonder, nostrils flaring as they scented the cold air that blew through the wardrobe.

"We want it built around the portal," Willow explained, "we got a kit and everything!"

Greg cleared his throat. "How big a building?" he asked trying not to think about the abundant wildlife he could smell and determined to drive as hard a bargain as possible.

Xander handed the demon a pamphlet that had the assembly instructions on it.

Greg opened the pamphlet and suppressed a sigh of relief as he saw how easy it was to understand. "Take a couple of days extra to make sure the stone sets up right," he bargained, "perhaps as long as a week.."

"You take as long as you need," Xander said, not knowing much about building construction but knowing that concrete takes time to set, "we've got no problem paying to make sure it's strong enough to keep out bears."

"Bears?" Sarah asked excitedly, unable to stop herself.

"Bears," Xander agreed, "we're probably going to have to hire some people to hunt the local predators and Willow wants a bear skin rug, so bears are a thing."

"We can hunt!" Brian hissed urgently to Greg, trying to be subtle. "If there's a bear we can find it!"

"The Larder definitely has bears," Willow told Xander, "even if The Lodge doesn't."

"The Larder?" Sarah asked.

Sharon closed the massive wardrobe and opened the smaller one next to it, revealing a primeval forest teeming with wildlife.

"How much are you going to charge us?" Greg asked, unable to contain his excitement.

"We're going to pay you," Willow said firmly, not wanting to take advantage of them.

"Since you guys are building the building, feel free to hunt whenever you like," Xander offered.

"Really?" the group chorused, as if they'd practiced.

"Sure," Xander said. "We just need one bear skin rug for Willow, the rest is yours."

"Best job ever!" Brian exclaimed.

The next day

"Everything ready?" Willow asked Xander, as he and Jesse set a small box in the center of the circle next to a number of clay blocks.

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "we've got half a dozen boxes ready and have gone over the runes to make sure they're perfect."

"Should we try the new circle without the other two?" Willow asked.

Xander considered that. "Maybe later, the other two let us pick what kind of land we want and that should make it easier to see if there are people around."

"I know, it's just harder to figure all this out when we keep adding variables," Willow said with a sigh.

"That's because you're looking at it like it's math," Xander said, "it's a bit too fuzzy for that since how you feel about things affect it and we don't even know what all the variables are. I think each circle lets us choose what a variable is, so we aim better and have more choices the more circles we have."

"So… each circle controls a variable?" Willow asked as she considered it.

"That's what I'm thinking," Xander agreed. "We're using two circles to lock down what the land around it is like and that it has animals… maybe. The desert doesn't seem to have any, but then deserts are kinda thin on life, so maybe we just haven't looked hard enough."

"Still math, just fuzzier," Willow decided.

Xander nodded. "The new circle uses human blood, so we should get people, like the animal blood gave us animals, but whatever else it locks down we won't know until we get a chance to check the settings."

"I hate sanding!" Jesse yelled, throwing down his sandpaper and massaging his arms as he glared at the wood he was working on.

"But it gives you some cool muscles," Sharon said.

"Yeah," Amy agreed as she and Sharon started feeling his arms.

"Nevermind, I like sanding again," Jesse called out with a grin as the girls massaged away the soreness.

The kids laughed.

The Boys came back through the massive wardrobe.

"We've got everything through," Greg told Xander. "We're going to need some buckets to get water from the river though, so we can mix the cement."

Xander walked over to a stack of small boxes and picked up one with a carving of a water droplet on the lid. "If you turn it sideways and open it, water pours out."

Greg accepted the box and opened it, eyes widening as he looked into the depths of the water inside. "It's got fish."

The others gathered around him and looked as well.

"If we get all sweaty, we can rinse off easier," Linda said with a bright smile.

"Instant shower," Xander agreed as he retrieved a small box with a sun on top of it. "This one is filled with sunlight and warmth for when you get cold or want to dry off quicker."

"You guys think of everything," Brian said in awe.

"We try," Willow said, "but if you guys think of anything you need, don't hesitate to ask."

Linda's stomach growled loudly.

"Like going hunting for lunch before starting building," Sarah suggested. "You can't work on an empty stomach."

The Boys turned to Xander looking for permission.

"Use the Larder, it's probably easier to find game there," Xander suggested.

The Boys squealed and started taking off their clothes while the kids watched, too surprised to say anything before the five had completely stripped down and rushed through The Larder.

"They probably didn't want to get blood on their clothes," Sharon offered.

"That makes sense," Willow agreed.

"I think Sarah actually has a better rack," Jesse said.

"Jesse!"

Jesse turned to Willow paused and then nodded. "Okay, I'm guilty on that one."

"Back to work guys," Xander said, "let's see how well this works!"

"Did we need a new chant?" Amy asked.

"No, same chant," Willow said as they set up everything.

Xander carefully applied the blood to the circle, not wanting to waste any, since human blood was harder to get ahold of. "Ready."

Willow handed Xander a candle. "Okay, take your place and let's see how well this works."

The kids were well versed in exactly what they needed to do, but went over the latest changes under Willow's watchful eye one last time before they began, each waiting one full verse of chanting before the next joined in.

The power built up for a longer period, the children trembling a little under the force of it, before Willow practically yelled the final syllable and they all stumbled as the weight was removed.

Jesse snatched up a bottle of water and drank deeply, the rest of the children quickly doing the same. "That was a little hard on the throat."

"Yeah, I didn't realize it would go on so long," Willow admitted.

"The spell felt heavy," Sharon said.

"Who gets to do the honors?" Amy asked excitedly.

"You can," Willow said as she retrieved Sharon's toy periscope and looked through it to make sure it worked, Jesse sticking his tongue out at her with a grin as she pointed it his way.

"Blood's crystallized," Xander said cheerfully, happy they wouldn't have to redo the new circle each time they used it.

Amy stepped into the center of the three rings and carefully opened the box, letting out a relieved sigh as nothing happened.

"So, what's it look like?" Willow asked.

"I see… lots of sand, but there's palm trees too," Amy said. "What did we have it set on?"

"Endless desert and Larder," Xander said, "with the new circle," he glanced down, "pointing east."

"Let me see," Willow said.

"Sure," Amy pulled her face away from the box and let Willow stick one end of the periscope in.

"I see…" Willow fell silent before saying in wonder, "a town! I see a town!"

"Let me see!" Xander demanded eagerly.

Willow held the periscope in place so Xander could look.

"It's a port town! I can see sails in the distance!" Xander exclaimed, moving aside so they others could look.

"Human blood was the key," Willow said, quickly adding some marks on the white board.

"It's old timey," Jesse noted before letting Sharon look. "Like pirate days old timey."

"That means they'd have whale oil and the other stuff I couldn't get," Xander said with a bright smile.

"Don't pirates grab people and make them work for them?" Amy asked.

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "so if we go through we're going to need to go armed."

"I don't know if I could actually kill someone," Willow said nervously.

"Then use the bear mace," Jesse said, "and anyway, we aren't saying you have to kill anyone. Shoot them in the leg and they'll leave you alone."

"As long as we go as a group and are obviously armed we should be fine," Xander assured her.

"Okay," Willow said calming down.

"So we need those target pistols and maybe some large knives to wear, since we've already got bear mace," Jesse said.

"Maybe we should drink the Re'em blood first," Willow said, attracting everyone's attention. "What?" she asked before realizing why they were all staring. "Oh, I traded the book that kept escaping for six vials of Re'em blood."

"You traded a book?" Jesse asked incredulously.

"It ate the latest Encyclopedia Brown book I got from the book fair before I could read it," Willow explained.

"Ah," Jesse said with a nod, "I can see why you wouldn't want it around your other books then."

"I can't believe you got Re'em blood," Amy said, "I was sure it was fantasy."

"Maybe it is," Willow said with a shrug, "the monster who traded for it gave me six vials that would turn into any type of blood I could name, so I named Re'em blood and the blood turned gold, red gold."

"Munchkin," Xander accused her with a grin.

"And proud of it," Willow said getting a kiss from Xander.

"Well, break out the blood," Jesse said excitedly.

"I was planning on doing it during lunch," Willow explained. "Blood is salty and we're going to want something to drink with it to wash it down."

"Milk," Amy said. "Milk is good for spicy stuff."

"Probably need a lot of protein and such as well," Sharon guessed. "If we're building muscle you need the right stuff to build it."

"So we need lots of food," Willow said. "We can order it all from Saul's, they deliver."

"Four gallons of milk," Xander said with a nod, "and enough meat and bread to feed an army."

"Woo hoo!" came an excited cry from The Larder as The Guys returned, looking a little battered and bloody, but carrying a bear so large they were having some trouble fitting it through the wardrobe.

"Sarah," Jesse said, "we were just about to order lunch, but if you guys want to share the meat, we'll share what we're ordering with you."

"Will there be cheese?" she asked hopefully, completely unconcerned with both her nudity and the four deep claw marks across her stomach.

"Lots," Xander promised.

"Then let's start grilling us some bear steaks!"

"I'll order extra," Willow told Xander before going to make the call.

Omake by: Tao - Abomination

Mayor Richard Wilkins the Third (previously known as Richard Wilkins Jr a few decades ago and Richard Wilkins Sr. many more decades beyond that), was a very worried man.

No… no….not worried. More like a little concerned… or was that confused?

Nevermind, he just couldn't make up his mind what he was other than a little perplexed.

Wait… hold on… was that the right word?

Perplexed, adjective - completely baffled, very puzzled.

Yep, that's the word!

Mayor Richard Wilkins the Third (a name which is very tiresome to repeat over and over again if one were writing a story centered around a character named Richard Wilkins the Third who happened to be both the mayor and a warlock who had been around for over a century but that is another story for another time and has probably been told and retold in countless variations throughout the multiverse) was very perplexed at a situation that had been developing over the last few months.

It started out harmlessly enough around July which began with your typical pro-American festivities that allowed just about everyone's inner pyromaniac to come to the surface for a little bit of fun. Families would gather together, have their little barbecue dinner, chow down food (or, in the case of some of the residents, chow down on some tasty humans) of choice before ending things with a bang. For obvious reasons, most of the local vampire population would stay indoors, especially when it was expected for packs of Fyarl demons to be running around shooting each other with roman candles and bottle rockets for fun.

Sure, there were a couple minor fires, but nothing the Sunnydale Fire Department couldn't handle. But that was the usual routine and, if Richard was being honest with himself, it was quieter than last year. He was actually grateful about that and used dedicated some of this extra free time to his major project that he hoped to carry out in less than a decade. After all, he had spent a century planning for this and, dammit, he was going to have his Ascension come hell or high-water!

At least that was the plan until something happened about a week after the holiday that literally knocked him off his feet.

Seriously, it knocked him flat on his ass. He had just poured himself a shot of aged scotch and was about to drink it, but not before pausing for a moment to admire the craftsmanship of a sea chest he had recently purchased from Max. He noted that while it seemed like an amateur attempt to build something according to traditional methods, it was well made and worth paying twelve-hundred dollars for. And, just as he was about to drink the shot, the magical surge hit him like a tidal wave, knocking him to the ground, his shot glass dropping out of his hand.

Despite his tendency to not swear, he let out an annoyed "Dammit!" as he stumbled back to his feet. "Now what the heck was that?"

Being mystically linked to the city, a link that got stronger over the decades, he closed his eyes as he tried to get a bead on where that magical surge had come from. After a couple seconds, he determined it had come from the northwestern edge of the city and consulted the large city map on a nearby wall (which also came in handy for scrying). He muttered out a small incantation that backtracked the magic to its source and frowned as the location lit up on the map.

It was one of the many light industrial parks that tended to line the edges of the city, but this particular one was odd since it was the weakest region magically due to its distance from the Hellmouth and being on the farthest outskirts of town.

' Was' being the operative word,' he thought to himself. The region was now lightly pulsing with power, but not like the dark energies coming from the Hellmouth and, oddly enough, it wasn't pure or 'light' magical energy either. It was raw power that surged from an unknown source and it felt very unfamiliar… and very OLD.

But there was nothing there in that area other than a salvage yard and spice and herbal shop run by a minor demon that tended to hibernate during the summer months. Richard dismissed the salvage yard as a source and focused on the spice shop.

' Rory Harris is just a mortal and he tries to keep to himself as much as possible, so that just leaves Jerry. What are you up to, Jerry? You tend to be out of it this time of year.'

He contracted a couple fledgling vampires to check the place out and was mildly surprised that one of them had already been to the shop to drop off a few pounds of Valerian bloodroot as part of a business transaction Darla had conducted with the beings that were running the shop. Richard was even more surprised that the beings appeared to be small children who were probably no older than ten or eleven years old.

Out of curiosity, he contacted Darla and he couldn't help noting the slight shudder of fear as the vampire spoke of her encounter with these alleged children.

"The bodies might be those of kids, but that is not what they are," she told him. "For crying out loud, the redheaded girl was reading a living tome of flesh and knew what it was. And the two little 'boys'… they were making a JUDAS COFFIN reinforced with spikes from the old Catholic Church on Burwood and one of them was complaining that they should have gone with duller implements so it would inflict more pain going into the subject."

"Ouch," Wilkins said, wincing in sympathy that the kind of pain that would cause. "Doesn't sound like something a normal child would say or do."

"I don't know what they are, but they are not 'mere' children. They are something pretending to be children or something is possessing them." Then Darla's face morphed into a slight pout. "But you know what's even worse, the master wants one of us to go back there and ask if the Judas Coffin is for sale."

Richard couldn't help chuckling at that, but then he realized that was probably something to look into. Judas Coffins were rare and the fact that someone, or something, was going to the trouble of making one from scratch hinted that they were beings who had access to knowledge and some of the more traditional old ways.

He paused for a moment, something tickling the back of his brain as if he were trying to remember something. Then he dismissed it and sent Darla on her way. Whatever it was, he was certain he would remember it later. In the meantime, he decided to have the two fledglings he hired monitor the shop and the information they brought back was both interesting and more than a little disturbing. Apparently, Gorg, a very large Kraton demon and the chosen champion and defender of his clan, was seen entering the shop and appeared to be in a foul mood. Richard figured the demon was there to purchase yarrow root since his kind were forbidden to be out in the city during daylight. However, Richard was surprised to learn that Gorg left the shop a couple hours later, his old scales shed and in a much happier mood as he glared at the two vamps before walking past them. According to the fledglings, the Kraton actually had a spring in his step.

The reports kept coming in nightly, various demons and the occasional human would come in, conduct business, some bringing in items for trade in exchange for reduced prices. Whoever was running Jerry's store was doing one hell of a job. Richard was starting to wonder if Jerry decided to wise up and hire competent minions to run the store while he hibernated, but that just didn't seem like Jerry and he certainly wouldn't hire children for the job.

Then the next power surge happened a couple days later. While not as powerful, it did stagger Richard while he was on a golf course and about to swing at the ball with his nine-iron on the eight hole, screwing up his shot which went wide and ended up in the woods.

"Oh, c'mon!" he hollered up at the heavens. "Really? In the middle of my golf swing!?"

Thus, it was a disgruntled Richard Wilkins who returned to his office at city hall a few hours later, only to feel another, but slightly smaller surge of energy occur from one of the local town homes. While the source of the magic felt like the same emanating from Jerry's, Richard could tell that someone had just set up some very powerful wards that practically cut them off from the energies emanating from the Hellmouth. Once again, Wilkins used the map and tracked it down to the home of Catherine Madison, one of Sunnydale's more powerful practicing witches.

' Cathy, Cathy, Cathy… what are you doing?'

Actually, it was obvious the witch was protecting her home and that was understandable, but the reagents she used to power the spell-work involved had to be very powerful.

' What the hell is Jerry selling over there?'

The fledglings also reported that Gorg had once again returned to the shop and left with a very large wardrobe which brought up another question: Since when did Kraton demons care about furniture?

Gorg was seen several hours later along with a couple other Kraton demons driving a couple large pick-up trucks loaded up with lumber that they left behind the shop. One pick-up truck returned an hour later to drop off a load of bones. Bones!

Then there were the reports of several Kraton demons, not just the males, but a few families, seen approaching the old garden nursery where Gorg and his family lived. The demons were seen entering one of the large greenhouses, but not seen leaving. More Kratons arrived out of town, only to disappear once they entered Gorg's greenhouse.

And each time a group of Kraton's disappeared, Richard would feel a slight surge of power emanate from the area before suddenly cutting off. It was almost as if someone was opening and shutting a door to whatever that power was. Richard ordered the two fledglings to get a closer look.

It was later that evening that one of the fledgling's returned, face scarred and partially burned.

"Whoa, Benny, what the heck happened to you?" Richard asked, wondering what the hell happened. "And where's Joe?"

The vampire shook his head. "Joe didn't make it, sir," Benny said wincing slightly as he took the offered shot glass of scotch the mayor had just poured for him. Alcohol may not have much use for vampires, but it was strong enough to dull some of the pain Benny was feeling. "Found out what the Kratons were doing."

"So, what is it? Is Gorg killing off his people in some sort of bizarre ritual to get power?"

The vampire chuckled and shook his head. "Darla was right about those 'kids', Mayor Wilkins. The power to create that damn thing… No human children could do that."

"So what happened?"

"We managed to sneak into the greenhouse and they didn't even notice us. Their champion gave some sort of speech or was it a prayer? Don't know what it was, but the others joined in after a few seconds. It was kind of creepy actually, because it was starting to feel uncomfortable; like we were standing on holy ground. Then the damn Kraton opened that wardrobe… and the whole place lit up."

Benny paused as the mayor refilled his shot glass and then promptly slammed the shot down his throat, savoring the burning taste before he continued.

"It was pure f*cking sunlight, Mr. Mayor."

"Language," Richard admonished the vampire. "And are you certain?"

"Sorry about that, and yeah, I'm very certain. If I hadn't taken cover behind a supply cabinet, I probably would have been incinerated like Joey. Hell, he didn't have a chance to scream. The Kratons then stepped into that wardrobe and I decided to get a glimpse of where they were going. It hurt like hell, but I saw it."

"What did you see?"

The expression of horror mixed with amazement on the vampire's face was almost comical. "I saw two suns and a desert that stretched on forever… Mr. Mayor, I saw another world."

After giving the vampire a final shot of scotch, Richard gave him an envelope containing a few thousand dollars in cash and dismissed him.

He sat in his chair behind his desk, thinking about the intelligence he had gathered over the last several days and Benny's words.

" I saw two suns and a desert that stretched on forever… Mr. Mayor, I saw another world."

Richard stared at the scotch bottle on his desk and poured himself a glass. He downed the shot and set the glass down before turning to look at the map on the wall of his office.

"Another world," he mused. "Well, golly, I think I might need to pay Jerry's shop a visit."

RUGoing2writethat with - Another Omake

Blame… er… credit for this one goes to ranma hibiki:

The kids made yet another wardrobe. With each one, their aim was sort of improving.

Every time they managed to open a portal, they managed to learn something new.

Sometimes, it was powerful and invigorating, like the world where The Fantastic Four was real.

Of course, it was a bit of a shocker that Doctor Doom was actually a world renown medical genius; it was the one field where Reed did not outshine him. Victor Von Doom never went into space and never gained powers; instead, he gained world fame by finding a cure for several fatal diseases.

Of course you had scary worlds too, like the one where Prince Ren had lost, and the world was half covered in Dark Water. Anyone who defied Lord Bloth the third would be thrown into the dark water.

This time when Jesse opened the wardrobe, he found a cat and mouse looking back at him. So, they all climbed in to explore. Three hours later they returned and simply collapsed on the couch.

"So… that was different," said Sharon.

"Different good or different bad?" asked Jerry as he was passing through.

"Not really good or bad, just different," said Willow, leaning on Xander.

"So what world did you go to this time?" asked Jerry.

"Well, it was a world with no humans. Apparently, the world evolved 3 sentient organisms. Cats, Dogs, and Mice, human-like and quite intelligent. They had never seen humans before. They were intrigued by us."

"Interesting," said Jerry.

"Yes, we met three of their best xeno-biologists, Drs. Jerry, Tom, and Spike. Apparently, they've been a team for quite a while."

"Were they friendly?" asked Jerry.

"Yes, quite friendly. Their world had some weird creatures but overall very friendly."

Jerry was learning quite a lot. He'd never heard of some of these worlds, and others by reputation only. He should consider going with them on one of their adventures. Of course, he'd have to make sure Catherine came along; he didn't want to face her wrath if something happened to one of the children. Everyone knows a mother protecting her children is the most dangerous creature in existence.

Chapter 13

Chapter Text

Omake: Darth Mickey!

This one is Bucio's suggestion… sort of… well, it's what his review triggered in my (RUGoing2writethat) twisted mind (evil grin):

The Kids, as Jerry was coming to call them, had built yet another cabinet. This time, they were putting all their circles together, to find yet another dimension. Catherine had declined to go with them, but she insisted that they take protection in the form of a locket filled with sand from the eternal desert and a drop of holy water; they powered some very powerful protections that went wherever the lockets went. These lockets also had runes of protection carved into them by Xander, using a set of jeweler's tools he bought.

Xander also managed, via connections Jerry had, to purchase 5 burglary kits. His justification was that you never knew when you might be captured and those kits could save their lives or at least get them out of jail. A friend of Gorg's had also taught him some runes to control how much time they spent on the other side. Right now, using the runes he was taught, the time ratio was for every 1 hour spent in the 'wardrobe world', 1 minute would pass at home. That way, they could spend hours over there, and only a few minutes would pass here.

When Catherine said something about spending too much time away from home, Xander then mentioned that if they found a place with no people and no animals that was a temperate forest, they could use it to do their homework, some extra study over a 3-day period, and then return with plenty of time for things like sleep. They could also use said place for extra sleep. Imagine getting a full 8 or more hours of sleep in less than an hour. But Catherine put her foot down, as much as one can with children who are possessed by powerful beings of light and stated that they could only spend 72 hours in the wardrobe before they had to return and have only 72 minutes pass at home. So, they all agreed that they would create such a portal in the future or they would build a new cabinet for one of the worlds they already found with the time runes.

They would discover later that the runes worked on new cabinets just as they expected but on already created cabinets, they had to paint the runes with blood and then chant an activation spell, which Gorg's friend showed them. The ratio on the existing cabinets was just a little off. Instead of 1 hour for 1 minute, the ratio was 1 hour for 2 minutes, which meant if they spent 72 hours in the cabinet, then 144 minutes or nearly 3 hours would pass at home. The 72 hour rule remained in effect.

So, they created their latest box with the intent of finally finding Narnia. Of course, they used the coordinates from their previous cabinets to triangulate the coordinates of this cabinet and, of course, they still didn't hit their target. But their aim was improving. They couldn't see much; the box opened into some sort of high-tech looking corridor. Willow demanded that the cabinet be finished and activated so they could go through; her intention was to get as much tech info as possible and use it to create new and advanced tech in their world and become rich, so she could marry Xander and they could have a home and a family.

Xander had decided that since building cabinets took a lot of time, he and Jesse spent their Thanksgiving break doing exactly that so they'd have plenty on hand. The cabinets and runes were all finished except for the blood and the activation spell. They had 12, and 12 boxes as well; well, now they had 11 boxes. He took one of the cabinets, set it carefully on the circle, painted the blood onto the runes and then activated it. They told Jerry where they were going and they were off.

And of course 144 minutes later, they returned. Jerry and Catherine were waiting to hear all about the latest adventure. They looked a bit haggard but none the worse for wear.

"So, what happened?" asked Jerry.

"It was different. I mean… Darth Mickey, Donald Duck Style Troopers, and a Rebel Alliance led by Goofy?" said Xander, "And yet, for all that it didn't make sense, it wasn't bad. I mean the Emperor Darth Walter was a bit on the weird side and seeing Goofy wield a light saber was just strange."

"Wait that sounds like… but… really?" asked Jerry. He'd seen Star Wars, and he'd loved it.

"Yes, really. Darth Walter wasn't a bad person and the Empire wasn't a bad place. Of course, if you didn't have what they called 'a fast pass,' you had to spend hours and hours in line for whatever it was you needed but otherwise, everything was pretty organized," said Willow. They'd had a lot of fun on the various planets, including the Haunted Mansion planet, the Sleeping Beauty Planet, Beauty and the Beast Planet, and other various planets. Of course they had all agreed and signed a pact, in blood, that they would never, ever, even under torture, speak of the It's a Small World Planet; that planet was just a crime against nature and the inhabitants… they all shared a collective shudder and promptly Willow stopped thinking about it.

"Then what did Goofy rebel against?" asked Catherine.

"I'm not really sure. We asked him and he couldn't exactly explain it. Of course, his rebellion was actually just a political movement, millions of signatures on a petition to lower prices on some of the planets to allow people a chance to live a bit more easily. Emperor Darth Walter actually did read his petition and said that he would consider the proposal, but he was busy setting up new planets and upgrading the mobile planetoid, the DisneyStar, that he used to ensure the security of the Empire," said Jesse.

"The DisneyStar?" asked Jerry with a raised eyebrow.

"It was the size of a small moon and they used it to move massive amounts of troops from planet to planet as necessary. Of course, most trips took place via the shuttles or other ships because of the enormous power requirements for the DisneyStar to move around," Sharon explained. "The DisneyStar was mainly a mobile base of operations more than anything."

"Sounds like you kids had a lot of fun. So, did you acquire any new technologies?" asked Catherine.

"Yes, I got the specifications for the FunTroopers Armor and the Funblasters. I mean, non-lethal weapons that make a person laugh for 30 minutes with one shot and armor that makes everyone around you feel happy and at ease, who could resist that? And I also got a book on their understanding of physics, with the necessary specifications to build a fusion reactor and to build a hyperspace engine, albeit both would be very primitive by the standards of the Disney Empire, but it's a start," said Willow, happily clutching her book to her chest. She was so going to invent a fusion reactor and then she'd start her own company to build one and change the world.

24 hours later (about 11.8 years in the Disney Empire):

As they were relaxing in their usual spot after completing their homework and returning home, a knock was heard from the Disney Empire cabinet.

Amy went over and opened it to find a note, a coin, and a book. She picked them up and took them back to the couch where she read the note to everyone. "Hey it's from Goofy. He says that the Emperor has acquiesced to their request to lower prices on three of the planets so people can live easier. He will also look into lowering prices on three more planets next year and the year after. The Disney Empire has over 90 planets and having low prices on 9 of them is feasible. The Rebel Alliance has even been granted their own planet, not too far from the Garbage processing planet and the Bio-Waste Disposal Planet. Goofy is grateful that smells cannot travel through space. The book is a newer edition of the physics book that Willow got; it's a special advanced copy and a gift from Darth Mickey. The Coin is from the Emperor and is 10 ounces of gold."

Jerry then spoke up and asked, "Hey, I was wondering. If Goofy's Rebel Alliance just wanted to submit a petition, then why was he wielding a light saber?"

"Yeah, I was wondering that myself," said Catherine.

"Well, apparently, to bypass the normal channels and have a petition put directly before Emperor Darth Walter, the owner of the petition has to defeat Darth Mickey in a lightsaber duel. Otherwise, they have to deal with the bureaucracy and that could really take several years to get a proposal through to the Emperor. That was really the only drawback to the whole Disney Empire. Well, that and everything was so expensive," said Xander.

"So… was Goofy any good?" asked Jerry.

"Well, the lightsaber battle between Darth Mickey and Goofy took over 6 hours, before Goofy managed to best Darth Mickey. They both made Darth Vader and Obi Wan Kenobi look like noobs," said Jesse. Sharon smacked him on the shoulder and

Willow glared at him. "What? I said noobs not boobs."

"Oh… sorry," said Sharon.

Omake by Manchester - Saying the Name

Harry Potter couldn't help himself, retorting to one of Draco Malfoy's snottier remarks about his parents during lunch at the Great Hall around third year, "At least my mum and dad were willing to fight against Voldemort-"

Screams of fright and diving under the house tables were done by a good many other Hogwarts students at the sound of their wizarding society's worse nightmare. Even some of the seated teachers appeared uncomfortable in their own part of the hall.

Rolling his eyes, Harry decided to needle everyone there until he was ordered to quiet down by loudly declaring: "Voldemort!"

More screams and those about to come from under the tables ducked back into there just to be on the safe side.

Smirking, Harry repeated, "Voldemort!"

Virtually all of the other pureblood students and most of the halfbloods now hastily joined their friends, cowering together under the tables. Professor Trelawney looked as if she were about to faint. Noticing all this, Professor McGonagall shot a disapproving glare towards Harry and opened her mouth, clearly on the verge of quelling this latest school disturbance.

However, Harry was far faster, managing to begin a final "Volde-"

"HEY!"

This interruption came from one side of the Great Hall, causing Harry to stop short and twist his head around to see who'd done that. What he saw there caused the Boy-Who-Lived's mouth to fall open in surprise.

For some reason, a large wooden chest had been placed by the wall years - perhaps centuries ago - and basically left there since then. It was never used and any pupil who'd ever opened it out of idle curiosity to glance inside found it totally empty. The chest was simply part of Hogwarts traditions and otherwise ignored… until now, when Harry, what other students remained upon their benches, and the teachers gawked towards there.

The lid of the chest was now open, and in front of this wooden piece of furniture, five children stood in a line abreast, staring back with their own bemusem*nt at the audience regarding them in baffled silence.

Well, not quite. One boy on the right-hand end of the small group, all of them the same age as the first-year students except that they were totally unknown to the Hogwarts population, was looking very annoyed. He snarled at no one in particular of the wand-users filling up the Great Hall, "I don't believe you guys! One little name, and you're jumping out of your skins? Why don't you try this?"

After saying the last, this boy pointed directly at a startled Harry, telling him, "Repeat after me the letter 'V'!"

Feeling rather entertained by it all and deciding to go along and see what happened, Harry obeyed with a "V!"

Nodding in satisfaction, the younger boy pointed at Hermione, "Say 'O'!"

After a quick squint of calculated suspicion was done by that addressed witch towards this complete stranger, Hermione nonetheless reluctantly followed his instruction: "O!"

The boy pointed then at Neville, who didn't need to be told to speak an "L!"

A prompt point of a finger at one of the Weasley twins - either Fred or George - had him grin and come out with a "D!"

Without any urging, the other twin - either George or Fred - with an identical grin said "E!"

Luna Lovegood just blinked placidly at the boy now pointing at her in this girl's spot at the Ravenclaw table and stated with her usual soft voice, "M."

Ginny gleefully joined in as if she was verbally striking back against her own first-year tormentor, "O!"

Nervously gulping at being the next center of attention, Ron would've much rather have passed up saying the consequent initial, especially since it was the start of his own first name. He still managed a feeble "R!"

From the teachers' section where they'd all been listening and wondering whether to interfere, Remus Lupin joined in with a defiant final "T!"

Those pureblood/halfblood children who'd warily emerged from under the Hogwarts tables throughout this recital eyed their Defender Against the Dark Arts teacher with surprise at how firm he'd sounded. They switched their attention back to where the other strange children were still standing in front of the chest.

"Yeah!" the unknown boy congratulated them all and folded his arms with a gratified air. "Put that all together and what do you get?"

An abrupt wave of fatalism washed over Harry at what he knew what was going to happen, but he still declaimed anyway, "Voldemort!"

Cue the panicky screams in an equal measure of terrified noise and yet again the hasty plunge under the tables by the same Hogwarts students as before.

Harry just glumly watched how the strange boy threw up his hands with evident disgust to exasperatedly announce, "That does it! C'mon, gang, let's leave these scaredy-cats and head back home!"

Sure enough, all while shooting their own looks of scornful pity at the inhabitants of the Great Hall - at least those remaining at the tables who weren't huddling on the Scots castle floor and whimpering for their mums - the three girls and the other boy followed their leader into climbing back into the chest. One after another, they all disappeared from sight as if they were descending through the bottom of the chest, with the last one of the group pulling shut the lid of the chest after them.

Trading a jaundiced glance with Hermione, Harry saw her eyes widen at seeing something else over there. He tracked her gaze back to the chest… where the lid was now open a crack once more.

Through this, what was revealed of the face of the other boy had him leering at the taken-aback Hogwarts residents, who then heard from him a hissed, "Voldemort!"

More screams rose quaveringly from under the tables, almost drowning out the loud snickers coming from the boy inside the chest, right before he dropped onto himself the lid.

Harry just leaned forward to rest his face down onto the tabletop with utter resignation. He sensed Hermione beside him leave, knowing she was going off to investigate the chest and sure already that she'd find it completely empty again.

Of course. His entire life was so bonkers that, frankly, it was only a matter of time before a bunch of complete outsiders would show up to amuse themselves as some bloody rude spectators for the idiotic exhibition known as Harry James Potter.

Roll the Die Part 2 by Silverscale

It was a cool summer evening and Tch'lech was walking down the street carrying a big paper bag in each of his glove covered gnarly hands. A new full moon was out and Tch'lech was enjoying the sensation of psychic power he had obtained from the Moon's Shade Potion. It had taken him several days of effort to make it, but it was a success and now he would be able to utilize psychic powers during the full moon.

The sensation of his emphatic senses and telepathic speech, it was all so wonderful to finally have them. To utilize them. He had frightened over thirty people the past hour by making them think someone was talking to them.

It almost made him giddy as he walked towards the old spice shop.

At the corner of his sight he spotted a dark dressed figure moving along the streets on the opposite side of him, but in the same direction. He felt a lot of hostility, uncertainty and blood lost from the being.

Reaching out with his telepathy he noted that the person was a normal man. But he was working for someone, apparently he was some manner of black ops soldier working for some government official who was trying to learn all about the Hellmouth and its denizens. And from what he could tell, was he intent on capturing the shop keepers and bring them in for 'questioning', even had a radio for a group of thugs in a van a block away.

Now Tch'lech might not be the most skilled of psychics, being only a few hours into his powers. But he knew damn well that the beings who owned the store would be most displeased by some random mortal and his armed friends messing up their store.

Plus, this might earn him some bonus points when he arrives to make his trade with them.

He walked over to the other side of the road when reaching a crossing, not willing to appear suspicious. Well more then he already was. The man took note of him but kept walking, obviously not considering the thin looking tall 'man' carrying paper bags a threat.

Tch'lech followed, he could see the store approaching and he also saw the perfect ambush point. A small alleyway just behind the old abandoned tavern on the other side of the road. His eyes glowed blue as he focused his power, and he telepathically whispered to the soldier.

*There is something in the alley… Could be a possible danger unless taken care of.* And like a lamb to the slaughter the man stopped for a moment, looking to his right, down the alley. Before stepping inside. And Tch'lech followed him a few moments later.

There was a startled gargling coming from the valley, as if someone was choking on something. and then a sickening crunch was heard, followed by a slurping sound. As if someone was drinking a very thick chunky smoothie out of a thick cup with a small hole.

A thud followed and the tall and thin shape of Tch'lech emerged out of the alley. He casually walked over the street and opened the door before entering. Inside were the 'children' talking with one another about different things by the desk as they were looking over a set of books.

"I am telling you Jess! If you want to make a good hero you need a proper backstory for the main protagonists. You can't just put his or her personality down in single words or single sentences. That's just too silly. They will have the personality of a goblin!" The 'boy' called Xander said to the other boy of the group.

"Pft! The backstory and personality details of those so called heroes can be described like I just did. Naive. Stupid. Tragic. Foolish. No when it comes to a good character you need to give them good gear, a good knowledge base, some imagination and common sense to not mess things up." The one called Jesse said to the other 'child'.

"Now now. We can all agree that you both make decent cases here. But you both know that even if we manage to make some good heroes for this quest. We still need to find a proper villain for them to face. I'd say a giant, possibly a Frost Giant. Those are fun." The 'girl' called Willow said as she looked through one of the books. There was a very well made image of a dragon on the cover, like most of the 'girl's' books, it must be a powerful and valuable artifact.

"Pft. Giants are dumb. Sure they are big and pack a punch, but in the end, a group of heroes will just fool them rather then fight them. I'd say cultists, possibly drow even. You know, spiders, assassins, those skulduggery adventures are always good for a laugh." Jesse stated as he dismissed the idea of giants making decent foes.

"I'd rather we do this with dragons and kobolds, you do realize that kobolds are among some of the most lethal of monsters, right? Not because of their size, power or allies, but because of how cunning and trickery they are. I mean, seriously, the dragon isn't even as dangerous as a well prepared group of kobolds setting up traps." Tch'lech felt his brain freeze at that statement. And he almost dropped his bags at the sheer thought that these beings considered mere kobolds to be more dangerous then DRAGONS.

Deciding he did not want to have his world view destroyed any more he hacked a bit, getting their attention. Before speaking out to them *Greetings. I have brought wares to trade with.*

"Nice to see you again Tch'lech!" Willow said with a grin and the mindflayer froze as he KNEW he had never told her his name before. Truly these beings were informative beyond his comprehension, and he was a skilled information broker on the hellmouth.

"So, what have you brought?" Xander asked with an eager smile as he looked at the paper bags the Illithid had brought with him.

*I will just put them on the counter for you to see.* He walked over and pulled out five wrapped bundles and two, two galleon sized ceramic jars sealed with silk and covered with sealing paper. Unwrapping the bundles revealed scales of various kinds as well as a set of rune covered forging tools.

The jars were slightly pried open. One contained Illithid tadpoles. The other contained a thick bluish liquid that smelt of iron and mint.

"Oh cool! These scales are neat. Must be six different kinds here." Willow stated as she inspected the scales.

*Correct. I have managed to procure basilisk scales, lamia scales, medusa scales, Scandinavian dragon scales, sea serpent scales and Greek hydra scales. Hard to come by but I managed to get them from the list of items you were interested in. The blue liquid is Illithid blood, produced from, volunteers.* It had been a good time. Returning to his old neighborhood to 'ask' some of his 'old friends' to 'lend some blood'. It had been… therapeutic.

"Nice, we can make plenty of stuff with this." Xander stated as he took hold of one of the dragon scales, it was easily the size of his head, and there were ten of them in total.

"What do you want in return for the trade?" Willow asked while she moved behind the counter.

Fidgeting a bit Tch'lech felt a bit awkward, and fearful, but decided to ask. *If you could permanently grant me psychic powers would be… wonderful.*

"Sure, me and Xander got something for that a day or so after your first visit. Just let me get it." The 'girl' stated before she left through the back door. Leaving a very shocked, if childishly gleeful Tch'lech alone with Xander and Jesse.

Said duo had gone back to their books. Arguing over what monster to force some foolish heroes to face, truly a most difficult task. It would not do for the so called heroes to immediately face their demise. This much Tch'lech knew, and it was a thought shared by these beings as well. No doubt they had long and painful plans ready for these foolish heroes. It almost made him pity such foolish creatures.

Then Willow returned and what she brought made Tch'lech's eyes widen to nearly twice their size.

It was a brain. And not just any brain. It was the brain of an Illithid. The brain of an Elder of his kind. An Elder Brain's… well brain.

"Was found during an exploration in some caves. We have used most of it, but this is what is left and we thought you could use it to gain the power of the brain by consuming it." She said with a grin as she handed the paper wrapped brain to the shaking fingers of the Illithid, who carefully took the brain from her hands and sniffed the brain.

It was cold, clearly preserved with some manner of magical frost. For it still smelled day fresh. To eat the brain of an Elder Brain, was to take all of its powers onto yourself. It was the highest of taboos in his society, for killing an Elder Brain was considered to be sacrilegious. When an Elder Brain died, their brains were given to the next Elder Brain in line.

This…. This was like offering a peasant in the slums, the crown of the king.

He had no idea if it would word but… he was more than willing to take the chance.

*This… this is wonderful. I accept this trade. And I will bring more to you in the future, please, you can contact me if you need. ANYTHING. Anything at all. And I will do my out most to get it for you.* He bowed his head to the group and turned around and left the store, leaving the trio of chattering 'children' to their schemes.

As he walked outside, he looked down at the brain in his hands. Before opening his maw, and ate it in one go. He closed his eyes, and let the energy flow through him. And then his eyes widened. As he felt such clarity and power within. So much like how he felt when his potion had become active this night. Only far more potent. He felt… he felt like he could fly.

He then noticed a black van approaching from a side road, and remembered the black ops soldier's friends. And he got a smirk on his tentacled face, and pointed a single finger at the black van, which suddenly began to float off of the road.

There was panicked yells from the interior of the car and the driver pulled out some manner of weapon and pointed it at Tch'lech. who cared little for the mortal's weapon. As he gave them the middle finger, and then used said finger to pointed up towards the moon, and with a soundless motion,the black van flew sky high like a blur, disappearing towards the bright glow of the moon.

Tch'lech, formerly the weakest of all Illithids, the outcast of his kind. Began to walk home, his eyes glowing with blue light. As his mental laughter of joy filled the minds of the city.

Back inside the store.

"How did you know that guy's name?" Xander asked as he looked through the D&D Fifth Edition Monster Manual.

"Oh, Jerry spoke of him, apparently he is an information broker, sells and buys information and favors with all the supernatural. Been mocked constantly because he was considered to be a weakling for not having powers like most of his kind." Willow stated as she wrote down notes for the next D&D session.

"Huh. Neat. So, what kind of character are you making willow?" He asked as he looked at the stats for the race he wanted to play as.

"Since our characters ended up dying to save the world I am going to play as a warlock, perhaps a vampire since we're the baddies this time." she stated as she wrote down the ability score.

"Well I am DM this time so I hope you guys will stop pestering me about character backstories while I DM." Jesse said with a snort as he looked through the monster manual with Xander.

"Sure, but you have to realize since we're playing the bad guys this time around, well a decent backstory for our enemies make sense since they're heroes. There are only so many one-dimensional characters I can handle in one game session." Xander said as he looked over the dragon race. It would not do to play an adult dragon, but he was certain he could find some kind of compromise or homebrew.

Yet another fun day of the ways of D&D, the joy is not just the adventure but the foundation for that adventure as well.

The end.

Chapter 14: The Fourth Omake!

Chapter Text

Note: Special thanks goes to the reviewer who suggested a certain nickname.

Omake by Tao: Abomination the second part

Annoyed - adjective; slightly angry, irritated.

Yep, that was definitely the word that could properly describe most people on any given day, and it was most applicable to a certain mayor of a certain Southern California town who went by the overtly inflated name of Richard B. Wilkins the Third (a name that is so ridiculously long for a man who was actually the previous two versions of his namesake and should, according to others who shall not be named at this time, be simply called Tricky Dicky 3.0).

Tricky Dicky… er… Mayor Wilkins, as stated in the previous run-on narrative a few seconds ago, was annoyed. The situation regarding the magical anomaly developing on the northern edge of town was really starting to bother him. It started in the middle of July with the initial magical surges, then the sudden appearance followed by the mass disappearance of Kraton demons, and the sudden pulse of magic as powerful wards were formed around the anomaly that had pretty much sealed it off from the Hellmouth.

Actually, that wasn't true. The area was still absorbing most of the energy from the hellmouth after it had broken down the darker elements before dissipating them. Richard wasn't sure where the dark energy was going, but it was obviously being consumed in some way by… something.

Something that is allowing people to create portals to other worlds, Richard thought to himself as he recalled what one of his vampire informants had told him.

" I saw two suns and a desert that stretched on forever… Mr. Mayor, I saw another world."

After that discussion with Benny, Richard had resolved to pay Jerry's shop a visit the next day, only to find himself experiencing a wave of nausea as the aforementioned extremely powerful wards went up. It wasn't so much an attack, but just being hit by a wave of power that left him feeling like that one time he ate a bunch of corn-dogs and then went on a roller-coaster ride immediately after (hey, even evil warlocks like to have fun at the country fair now and then). He decided to cancel his visit and had members of Sunnydale PD (those in the know about how things really were) monitor the area.

That was when he learned that Catherine Madison was a regular visitor to the shop, usually dropping off her daughter and four others there after school.

Hmmm… she must have been the one who put those protective wards in place.

More magical surges happened over the next couple weeks, but they didn't hit Richard like a tidal wave. Instead, it seemed that the excess energy released during whatever rituals were performed was now absorbed by the wards, reinforcing them. To Wilkins, however, it was as if someone had erected a sea wall to keep the tidal waves of magic from knocking him flat on his ass again or, more importantly, keeping the magic from screwing up his golf game.

At this point, he had received reports that the little crew of Brachen/Fyarl half-breeds known as "The Boys" (which he really couldn't understand why they went by that name since it was three females and two males in the group) was spotted going in and out of Jerry's shop bringing in all sorts of tools and construction equipment. He was also informed that there was a large bear-skin hanging on a makeshift tanning rack located on one side of the store's exterior.

It also appeared that "The Boys" were doing a lot of work, but according to Richard's people, there didn't seem to be any construction going on at the building itself. Not only that, Jerry's was receiving a lot of lumber and concrete which was immediately offloaded and taken into the store.

Where the heck are you storing that stuff, Jerry?

Finally, Richard finally decided he had waited long enough. Though he could still detect the occasional magical surges, the wards around Jerry's place were holding and it looked like he might be able to go there without dealing with any side effects… he hoped.

And so, it was a late Friday afternoon in October that found his limousine parking across the street from Jerry's establishment. Richard let himself out of the car, but stopped by the driver's window. "Come back in a couple hours, Henry," he said. "However, have a crew ready in case it gets out of hand."

The demonic minion nodded, then drove off, leaving his employer standing in the middle of the street.

"Well, here we go," the mayor said to himself, preparing himself to face whatever dangerous entities that dared to set up shop on his turf. He would confront these foul creatures, especially the one he could sense coming his direction from down the street. He slowly made his way across the street, sensing the entity getting closer, but he didn't look at it. After all, it would be best to not let the target know they were being-

"Hey, aren't you the mayor?"

Wilkins spun to confront the creature… only to see an eleven year old boy with messy black hair carrying four large pizza boxes. Okay, this was not what Richard was expecting. Since when did powerful magical creatures care about pizza?

"Yes," Richard replied, trying to figure out how to deal with this threat. "Mayor Richard Wilkins."

The "boy" stared up at him for a moment then smiled. "Cool."

Cool? The mayor was confronting one of the entities that had taken up a portion (albeit a tiny piece) of his little fiefdom and all he got in response was "Cool?"

Before Richard could say anything, the boy cut him off. "So, what brings you here, Mr. Mayor?" From the way it was asked, it sounded like the boy was actually curious.

Richard decided to just come out and say it. "I want to know what you and your associates are doing at Jerry's and what your deal is with Gorg and some of the other 'unique' residents in this town."

The boy's eyes widened for a moment in surprise, then he cautiously looked around for a moment before returning his attention to Richard. When he spoke again, he stepped forward and lowered his voice. "You know?" he asked.

Again, this was not the reaction Richard was expecting. "Know what?"

The kid looked up and down the street again before answering with a whisper. "About the magic and monsters here in town."

Richard blinked in confusion for a moment. This was not going the way he thought it would. He was expecting a hostile confrontation, but instead was being asked if he knew about what was really going on in town. After another second, he decided to take a more diplomatic approach and gave the "boy" a knowing grin. "Well, I am the mayor, and I know about Jerry, so I would hope I have some idea about what's going on in my town," he joked. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing my job."

The boy nodded in agreement. "Good point… so you're checking up on us?"

"Well, I've been hearing that some strange things have been happening around here." Richard couldn't help smiling at the fact that he wasn't even lying to the boy.

"So you want to know what we're doing," the boy said. He paused, appearing lost in thought for a moment before shrugging. "Well, since you're the mayor and you know what's going on, why not? Can you get the door for me?"

"Huh?" Richard was once again caught off guard by the entity's response.

"The door to the shop, can you open it for me since my hands are full? I doubt the others would hear me if they're working in the back."

"Oh, right," Richard said, a sheepish expression on his face as he opened the door for the boy before following him in.

"Pizza's here!" the boy hollered, which prompted some movement in the back and a few squeals of delight. A few seconds later, four children around the age of ten or eleven joined them followed a few seconds later by Jerry who suddenly stiffened when he saw the mayor with the boy.

"Hello, Jerry," Richard greeted, trying to keep his voice as friendly as possible. "I see you've been busy lately."

"Mayor Wilkins," Jerry replied, nodding his head slightly. Though he managed to remain calm, it was obvious that he was terrified of the warlock. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"And how did you end up meeting him, Xander?" a red haired girl asked.

"He was outside when I was coming up the street, figured it would be rude not to say anything," the boy now identified as Xander replied as he set the pizzas on the store's front counter and opened them. "Besides, he knows what's going on in the town."

Jerry let out a slight choking noise that sounded, at least to Richard, like a gasp combined with a snicker. Even Richard found it amusing.

Xander gestured at one of the pizzas. "Help yourself, sir, we got plenty. We only ordered extra because we're doing a new portal tonight with some experimental circles."

That statement almost caused Richard to drop the pizza slice he had just grabbed, but he managed to instantly recover. "P-portal?"

The redheaded girl smacked Xander in the arm. "Don't scare the man, Xander." She then stepped forward. "I'm Willow Rosenberg, and Xander here is just being dramatic."

"Am not."

This broke the slight tension that was building up, causing everyone to laugh. A couple minutes later, Richard had been introduced to the rest of the children and he noticed that Jerry was keeping a wary eye on all of them. Richard wasn't sure if Jerry was worried about safety of the children or his. While he talked to the kids, Richard studied their auras and wasn't sure if he was talking to possessed beings controlling the children or if the children were of some unknown magical species. It was apparent they were children… just not HUMAN children.

At least not anymore, Richard thought as he listened to Willow tell him what they had been doing over the summer. He looked over at Jerry at one point and got a nod of confirmation. The story he had been told sounded crazy, but he could sense no lies coming from the kids.

All this came from some obsession over a work of fiction? Perhaps the children believe it to be so, but it feels like something else is at play here.

For a moment he had considered that the children could be under control of The Powers, but it just didn't feel right.

The Powers That Be are a bunch of stuffy and egotistical pricks. I doubt they have the imagination to pull this off and this doesn't feel like them.

He was broken out of his thoughts by the boy, Xander, who was gently tugging his arm to get his attention. "Come on, Mayor Wilkins, we'll show you around before we work the ritual."

Richard was starting to wonder if his face was going to be permanently stuck with a surprised expression. "The ritual?"

"Well, yeah," spoke up Jesse, the other boy in the group. "It would be rude to kick you out since you know what's going on and, well, you are the mayor after all."

This was starting to be too much for Richard. He was expecting a confrontation with a rival group of mages or some upstart creatures, but they openly invited him in and were willing to show him what they were doing. Heck, they even shared their meal with him and he still couldn't sense any deception from any of them. The only thing that did make sense was the fear coming from Jerry, but that was to be expected.

Perhaps I should reassess the situation, Wilkins thought to himself as he followed the children to the back of the store which lead into the small warehouse behind the storefront.

The smell of lumber, various oils, and grease permeated the air as he was led into the workshop. He then noticed some wooden chairs and various chests that displayed a familiar style of craftsmanship that he had seen before. Obviously, someone was making it hobby of building things using the old ways, just like the sea chest he bought from Max…

That's when it hit him.

Richard turned his attention to Xander who was checking on a bookshelf that look like it had just been given a fresh coat of varnish. "It was you?" he asked the young boy, not even hiding the surprise in his voice.

"What was me?"

"You made the sea chest I bought from Max."

"Oh, so that's where it went," Xander said. "Yeah, it was one of my first attempts, but I'm getting better."

Richard gestured at the half-dozen partially completed projects in the workshop. "Young man, there are professionals who would sell their souls to be able to attain this level of skill." Which was actually true, Richard knew a few that did sell their souls for such a deal.

"Then they're ripping themselves off," the boy said as he opened a bottle of wood oil that he gently applied to a chair with a rag. "I'm starting to think that you put a little of your soul into the things you build. You use your own hands, you do the work, and it's you that makes it what it is. You don't have a soul, then you have nothing to make things with." He then looked back at Richard. "At least that's what some of the old books I've read about carpentry says… I think."

"You think?"

Xander shrugged. "Hey, it was over a hundred years old and written in German. If it weren't for Willow, I wouldn't have been able to figure it out."

"So, do you believe that?" Richard asked. "About a little bit of your soul goes into the things you make?"

Xander shrugged again as he put the cap back on the bottle of wood oil before putting it away. "Maybe. I mean, look at some of those famous artists they talk about in history and show off in museums. They may be long dead, but their stuff is still around and people know who they are. Maybe they felt the same about their work like I do about mine. But hey, I'm just a kid, what do I know?"

Though the statement seemed genuine, Wilkins was doubtful about Xander's claim about being "just a kid". He was about to say something when they were interrupted by Amy Madison. "Hey, Xander, Willow and Sharon have the circles set up, so we're ready to go when you are."

"We'll be out there in a couple minutes, Amy." After the girl left, Xander turned to face Richard. "So, I guess it's showtime, Mayor Wilkins. All I ask is that you keep quiet until the ritual is done."

Richard still couldn't believe what the young man was implying. "Wait, you're actually going to let ne watch this ritual of yours?"

"Well yeah," Xander replied, grinning at the man. "Might as well see something cool while you're here, right?"

Richard followed the boy through the warehouse, pausing only for a moment as they passed through an area that contained a few wardrobes and cabinets that were radiating with power that was somehow contained. Xander stopped as well and smiled at him. "We'll show you those later, sir, I promise."

A few minutes later Richard found himself standing alongside Jerry in the back corner of the warehouse, watching with curiosity as the two boys and one of the girls helped place a wardrobe in the middle of a carved ritual circle recently covered with blood that was surrounded by five smaller inter-linking circles of blood, which was encompassed by a large circle of crystallized blood. Richard recognized some of the carved runes on the outer circle, but he was unfamiliar with runes on the inner circles and the ones carved in the cabinet.

He then watched as each of the five children took positions on the outer circle holding a candle in one hand and a lighter in the other.

"Whatever happens, Mr. Mayor, just don't say or do anything until they're done," Jerry told him. "And don't be surprised if it knocks you on your ass."

Richard gave the demon a sharp look as he remembered when that happened the first time in his office. "Does it happen all the time?"

Jerry shrugged. "Sometimes, but it does help if you brace yourself for it." He then raised a finger to his lips before whispering, "Willow's about to begin."

Richard watched as the redheaded girl began to chant as she lit her candle. At first, Richard thought she was reciting ancient German, but it sounded a lot more… harsh and sharp. Several later, she was joined by Jesse who lit his candle and chanted the same words as well. This process repeated until finally all five children were chanting.

During the ritual, Richard could already sense the magic began to stir when Willow had started, but then the strength of the magic seemed to double each time one of the other children joined it. By the time they were all chanting, Richard could literally feel the swirling about like hurricane, but something was holding it back, keeping it contained within the large circle. While all five children were chanting, he noticed the wardrobe began to glow, particularly the runes covered in blood. He also saw various symbols of unknown origin appear within the circles glowing a malicious red (similar to the glow and color of volcanic lava) before fading away as the energy flowed into the wardrobe. A few minutes later, a wave of magical energy erupted outward, causing the children to stagger, but they maintained their positions.

Fortunately, Richard took Jerry's advice and braced himself for it, but he still dropped down to one knee as the wave hit him while Jerry stumbled back a few steps. He then felt his ears pop as the pressure let up and he felt what was left of the magical wave get absorbed by the protective wards, empowering them even more. He then looked at the children and nearly gasped in shock as he saw their bodies glowing briefly from the power they had absorbed.

Then the glow faded and the children returned to normal. The boy named Jesse immediately broke from the circle and grabbed a small ice chest that was nearby. He then pulled out a few bottles of water and handed them to the others before opening his own bottle and gulping most of its contents down. "Okay, that was intense."

"Yeah," Sharon said in agreement. "Willow, next time, let's not use so many circles."

The redhead nodded before dropping to her knees. "I think that's a good idea," she said. "I don't think I'll be doing anymore this weekend."

Richard agreed with the young girl's assessment. It was a sure sign of magical exhaustion, though he was certain that if any of the practicing warlocks or witches he knew had dealt with the ritual he had just witnessed, they would be dead, not exhausted.

It just proves that these children aren't human or are being used as vessels by some very powerful beings.

"So, where do you think this will take us?" Xander asked. "I mean, it's the first time we used multiple inter-linking circles of the various worlds we've been."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Richard asked. "Suppose it opens into a volcano or in a sea or something?" He doubted it was something like that, but he could sense a lot of power emanating behind those closed doors.

"Only one way to find out," Jesse said as he walked into the middle of the circle and opened the doors to the wardrobe. "Whoa," he said after a few seconds of staring wide-eyed at whatever he was looking at. "Uh, guys… you gotta' see this."

The other children followed their friend into the wardrobe, expressing similar reactions. Richard and Jerry followed behind them only for Richard to stop dead in his tracks when he got a good look of where they were.

They were on a hillside overlooking a lake that had several tiny islands in it. The area they were in appeared to be a combination of forest and wetlands. But what got Richard's attention was as he looked off in horizon and saw that the land seemed to continue forever, and it looked like it curved… upward? He then noticed patches of darkness off in the distance and looked up at the sun. He squinted slightly and could make out some dark rectangular objects that seemed to surround the sun, blocking out portions of the sunlight and generating the dark patches on the world.

"Jerry, are you seeing this?" Richard asked before turning to see Jerry standing there open-mouthed and in shock as he shook his head in disbelief. "Jerry, what's wrong?"

The demon kept shaking his head and started chuckling to himself. "I'll be damned," he said. "Larry, you crazy bastard, you were telling the truth all long! And here I thought it was just some crazy story you made up to sell to a publisher!"

A few hours later, Richard was back in his office, pondering his future plans and what had seen this evening. After they had returned from what Jerry named "An actual Ringworld" (while muttering something about a crazy cousin named Larry), the children showed Richard a few of the other wardrobes and even showed him the place they had called "The Lodge".

And then there was the conversation he had with Jerry.

" I'm still not sure what to make of them, Jerry," said Richard. "I was expecting… well… a threat to my little domain here. And technically, they still are, but… this was not something I planned for."

" Catherine Madison believes the children are being influenced or controlled by beings of light."

Richard snorted out a forced laugh. "Ha! Oh, they're being influenced by something, but it's not beings of light. Whatever their source of magic is, it's not light and I can tell you that it's very old."

" I have my own theory about them, but I hesitate to share it with others," Jerry said.

" Mind telling me what it is?" Richard asked.

" I know this sounds strange, but if they are under the influence of some other beings, perhaps this portal building is about something else. If I didn't know any better, I would say they are looking for a way home and are using the children to do so."

" Hmmm, that actually makes sense," mused Richard. "Although I find it odd that they seem willing to share these portal with others."

" Actually, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. They helped Gorg, Marl, and various other demons and magical practitioners. They've accumulated a lot of good will with the community, but like I said, I think that's just to get people to leave them alone while they try to figure out a way to go home."

And so here we are, Richard thought to himself as he leaned back in his chair and looked at the two small boxes sitting on his desk. They were given to him by Xander and he could feel the power coming off them in waves. One of the boxes had the image of a sun on its lid while the other was had a snowflake.

"One for heating, and one for air conditioning," Xander had told him before showing him a brief demonstration.

Such power, and they are just realizing their potential.

But what impressed him even more about the children was their innocence and naivete. Before he met them, Richard assumed they were a threat to his plans and had planned on destroying them. But now, he could see the possibilities they presented. Heck, they would prove even more useful after his Ascension, especially after seeing their most recent portal.

"They just need guidance," he spoke out to himself. "And I would be shirking my responsibility if I didn't have a hand in guiding these future constituents of mine down the right path."

Then a cruel smile formed on his face.

"Mine."

Chapter 15

Chapter Text

Huge slabs of grilled bear meat were passed out to everyone as Willow poured glasses of milk and handed out the vials of Re'em's blood.

"Here goes nothing," Xander said as he uncorked his vial of reddish gold blood and downed it. He quickly grabbed his milk and drank down half the glass. "Salty and spicy," he announced.

Brian's nostrils flared and he licked his lips as he looked at the vial which still contained traces of the thick magical blood.

"Go ahead," Xander told him, seeing that Brian wanted it, before his stomach growled loudly and he attacked the steak in front of him like a wolf, not even bothering with silverware.

"Looks like you were right about being hungry after drinking it," Willow told Sharon as Brian popped the vial in his mouth and crunched on it like it was a mint before tearing into his own steak.

"My turn," Jesse said uncorking his own vial and drinking it, before grabbing the milk and drinking straight from the carton.

"Don't drink straight from the carton," Willow complained, "I poured you a glass."

Jesse gave her a thumbs up and finished off the carton before tearing into his steak much like Xander had.

Greg picked up the nearly empty vial and ate it before starting on his own meal.

"Why did we even bother with silverware?" Willow asked rhetorically as she opened her vial, took a deep breath, and then drank it like it was cough syrup.

The girls watched as Willow grabbed her glass of milk and downed it before imitating the guys and attacking her steak with hands and teeth.

"Dibs," Maggie said snatching up the empty vial and eating it.

Half an hour later

Jerry poked his head around the back and was surprised to find everyone taking a nap in front of a large improvised grill in a tangle of bodies. Most of the food they'd bought was gone with only a few lone pieces of cheese and bread lying out.

He considered waking them, but decided not to. The Boys were part Fyarl and waking one of them was a quick ticket to a maiming.

"Find the kids?" Catherine asked when Jerry returned.

Jerry nodded. "They and The Boys are napping in a huge pile out back. Considering how much they all ate I'm really not surprised."

"How much did they eat?" Catherine asked.

"The kids ordered a large amount of bread, cheese, and milk from Saul's and The Boys caught a grizzly bear," Jerry explained. "There's enough left from all of that for a snack but not much more."

"I'll be right back," Catherine said, going to look for herself. She returned a minute later looking amused. "I'm going to have to carry around a disposable camera, that is just too cute."

"There's a bloody bear skin stretched out not five feet from them and they all look like they forgot silverware existed," Jerry said, wondering how a human could find that cute."

"I know, it's just the sort of picture I can use to embarrass her when she's older," the witch said with a grin.

Jerry chucked. 'And they say demons are evil.'

The group slowly shifted and untangled themselves as they woke up.

"Sun's going down," Jesse noted.

"That was a good nap," Willow said as she stretched.

"It was a good feast," Brian added, before letting out a loud burp.

"So much cheese," Sara said with a smile.

"Did the Re'em's blood work?" Jesse asked examining his arms and thinking they looked a bit bigger, but then he had been working really hard lately, so maybe he just hadn't noticed.

"Let's see," Amy suggested looking around and spotting a couple of engine blocks that were half buried in the sand.

Everyone watched as she pulled it out of the ground, her feet sinking into the sand as she did so.

"I'm going to go with yes," Xander said numbly, as Amy shook the engine block to get a feel for the weight and accidentally overbalanced herself and fell over.

Amy got up and brushed off the sand while everyone was still too busy staring in shock to respond. "I'm fine."

"Re'em's blood?" Greg asked.

"The vials we drank," Willow explained, "it gives you great strength."

Brian cautiously picked up the engine block Amy had been playing with. "Dunno, feels kinda light."

"You ate a vial with some Re'em's blood in it," Xander reminded him, "so you're stronger too."

"Oh yeah," Brian said with a grin, dropping the engine block which thudded heavily to the ground.

Xander walked over and carefully pried the engine block out of the ground with a slowly growing grin. "It's like it's made of aluminum."

Jesse imitated Xander picking up another one. "Dude, this is so cool!"

"Let me see," Sharon said taking the engine block from Jesse gently, and then breaking out in a large smile as she felt how light it was. She tried to hand it to Willow and eeped as she fell over.

Willow helped her up. "We still weigh the same, so it's easy to knock yourself over."

"If I played football I would murder the other team," Jesse said with a grin.

"Literally," Xander pointed out as he carefully set the block down so he wouldn't fall over.

Jesse made a face. "Good point, bro. We're going to have to hide this, aren't we?"

"Yep," Xander said. "With great power comes great responsibility or you have to deal with great lawsuits for crippling someone."

"Still awesome even if we can only show it off to each other," Jesse decided.

"You guys are the most awesome bosses ever," Linda said, "no one else got us such great food or made us stronger."

"It's going to suck when the building's done," Maggie said.

"We're going to need more than one building done," Willow pointed out, "I mean we're going to need things built at each portal."

"Good point," Xander agreed. "They've got lots of prefab building designs to use too."

The Guys perked up.

"Regular work and hunting?" Greg asked hopefully.

"Yep," Xander agreed. "The Larder could use one too and Cold Storage, not to mention the new one we're going to build today."

"We're going to need to build the big wardrobes for things like that," Jesse said.

"That's the plan," Xander agreed, "already got the stuff ready for one, just have to assemble it."

"Port town here we come," Sharon said happily.

"Need guns first," Jesse reminded her. "I mean, we could throw engine blocks at stuff, but I think a couple of warning shots would scare things off without having to smoosh them."

"Let's get out the makeup," Xander said with a grin. "We can get everything we need and go tomorrow."

"We're going to need period clothes and trade goods," Willow said, already making a list in her head.

"What does makeup have to do with guns?" Sarah asked.

"I need to look like I'm trying to appear human so they'll sell to me," Xander explained. "They don't sell to kids."

Greg nodded while thinking they already did a great job looking human. "Want me to come along and carry things?"

"That would make things easier," Xander replied, realizing he didn't need to disguise himself as a monster disguised as a human if he brought a monster along. "Okay, new plan. Me and Greg will go get the guns."

"And I'll figure out what kind of trade goods we should bring," Willow said.

"Dibs on clothes," Amy said, thinking about where they could get some costumes and if there was a tape measure handy so she could measure The Boys. "I'll have to see if mom will drive me to party town."

"What's left for us to do?" Sharon asked.

"Sanding," Jesse said with a sigh.

Xander entered Joe's pawn with Greg following behind him. He walked right up to the counter and asked, "What do you have in the way of handguns?"

Joe, a man in his mid thirties who was struggling with a rapidly forming beer gut and a bad comb-over, glanced up at Greg and then back at Xander. "Handgun or shotgun?"

"Handguns," Xander replied, "half a dozen that use the same ammo if you have them."

"Need something simple and easy to use with good stopping power?" Joe asked, figuring the small being was arming his bodyguards, which the obvious demon behind him probably was one of and he didn't look all that bright.

"That would be perfect," Xander agreed with a smile, pleased the shopkeeper wasn't going to ask for ID or anything.

Joe disappeared into the back and returned with a dozen revolvers hanging from half a dozen gun belts like he'd mugged a cowboy convention. "Simple, easy to use and clean, plus they are all chambered to use 30 rounds."

He laid them on the counter and Xander pulled one out of its holster and looked it over with a wide smile. This was what he'd grown up thinking of as a proper gun! "I'll take them all and any ammo you have."

"It'll run you about five grand," Joe said, pleased with the sale and hoping this wasn't going to be one of the types that used force to get away without paying.

Xander pulled ten one ounce gold coins out of his pocket and laid them on the counter. "This should cover it, the ammo, and something to carry them in."

"Indeed it will, sir," Joe said with a smile as he gathered up the coins, recalling the current price of gold this morning.

Two men, in clothes that had gone out of date a decade ago, entered the shop as Xander was packing everything in a heavy carpet bag.

"Is that everything?" Joe asked.

"What do you have in the way of knives?" Xander asked as he remember that visible weapons were a great deterrent and doubted the store had cutlasses.

Joe brought out a tray filled with large knives, most copying the design from the movie Rambo.

Xander picked one up and tried to get a feel for it, getting a good grip on the hilt. There was a large crack as the hilt came apart in his hand. "Maybe something a bit solider," Xander said, putting the remains of the knife down, "the hollow handles are too flimsy."

"Yeah," Joe agreed nervously as he looked at the remains of the knife. "Let me get out the daggers, they are solid all the way through."

"You could just use an engine block," Greg pointed out, "it's hard to break those. We could use a pipe and make a hammer out of one."

Xander laughed. "I don't weigh enough, I'd fall over every time I swung it. A sledgehammer with a short handle might work though."

Joe laid out a selection of daggers, some quite large.

"This is more like it," Xander said picking up a foot long dagger with a black hilt and giving it a light squeeze. He smiled when it didn't break and chose half a dozen similar blades with sheathes. "How much?"

"Three hundred," Joe said.

Xander pulled out a wad of cash and paid him before adding them to the bag. "Let's go."

"Yes, boss," Gregg said, pulling his attention away from the two vampires.

Once they'd left one of the vampires turned to the other one. "What was that? He smelled human."

"He's one of the things that are running the shop over at the junkyard, the ones we were warned about," the other hissed.

"He… seemed so normal, he even smelled human!"

"Yeah," he nodded solemnly, "they always do, then they do something that scares the piss out of you without noticing, like threatening the champion of the Kraton clan or shattering the hilt of a knife by accidentally squeezing too hard."

"f*ck!"

"I know."

Xander stared. "How long were we gone?"

Greg thought about it. "Let's see… we got the guns and knives, then we went and got some burgers cause it was on the way… I dunno… a bit?"

"Enough time for the girls to mug a traveling theater group," Xander said as he saw the racks of clothing the girls were going through.

Willow spotted the two and rushed over to grab Xander's hand. "Come on, Catherine knew a specialty clothes place that was going out of business so we've got all the right clothes!" Willow drug him along, not even noticing he wasn't walking.

Xander grinned.

Willow tugged at Xander's clothes. "Let's get you dressed."

It only took a minute before Xander was dressed in an all black outfit with matching head scarf, like The Dread Pirate Robert.

"Perfect," Willow said with a bright smile.

"I hope you have a similar outfit," Xander said as he tightened the belt a bit and put back on his shoes, "because if you were thinking poofy dress it'd be really out of place."

"The dresses have a lack of poof," Willow assured him, "and I have a nice blue one with a minimum of frills."

"They have stuff in our size," Maggie told Greg.

"Have to," Amy said, "you couldn't come with us otherwise."

"Come with us?" Xander asked.

"I thought they were coming with us when we checked out the town," Amy said. "You said we needed to look tough so people wouldn't mess with us and they look tough."

"And they do look tough," Xander agreed, "but I think people might scream and grab pitchforks when they notice the horns. People in the past were really bigoted."

"Sarah, show Xander your helmet," Amy called out.

Sarah came from behind one of the racks dressed in brown leather pants and a gray wool tunic with a viking style helmet on her head, her horns coming out of holes in the sides, as she smiled broadly.

"That works," Xander said, surprised at how normal she looked… compared to how she normally looked.

"As long as she doesn't grin and show off her fangs, no one can tell," Amy said.

"Hey, Xander."

Xander looked around.

"Up here!"

Xander looked up; a dozen feet above them, sitting on a rafter, was Jesse.

Jesse pushed off the rafter, falling to the cement floor with a thud as he landed on his feet with a grin as if he'd just stepped off the curb. "Dude, we're Spiderman!"

Xander just stared looking up at the rafter and then back down at Jesse who crouched down and leapt back up catching the rafter and easily pulling himself back on top of it.

"He's been waiting impatiently to show you that," Willow told Xander with a grin.

"We don't weigh a lot, so we can jump over small buildings," Xander realized. "not to mention we are as tough as we are strong, so we can land without hurting ourselves!"

"Be kinda useless otherwise," Willow said.

"Dude," Xander said turning to Willow, "we're all Spiderman!"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Boys."

Chapter 16

Chapter Text

Willow watched Xander and Jesse practice jumping up into the rafters and dropping back to the ground with a smile. "Silly boys."

"My turn," Sharon called out and leapt up colliding with Xander, the two of them falling to the ground.

"That looks like fun," Amy said as the two untangled themselves and stood up perfectly fine.

"Sorry," Sharon apologized.

Xander waved it off. "I can't believe how tough we are."

Jesse dropped back down. "This is so cool!"

"Did you get the guns?" Amy asked Xander.

"Right here," Xander said, retrieving the carpet bag, pulling out one of the gun belts, and passing it to Amy.

Amy pulled out one of the guns and checked to make sure it was unloaded, spinning the cylinder before examining it. "Six shooters? I thought we were going to get target pistols."

"These are easier to use and have more stopping power," Xander explained, "plus we don't have to worry about how bad the kick is anymore, so…" He shrugged.

"Definitely cooler," Jesse said as Amy passed him the revolver.

"Less moving parts," Willow noted, "don't have to deal with magazines."

"Cowboy pirates it is," Sharon said with a grin.

"We're probably going to stick out, but we'd do that anyway," Xander said. "I figure we can complete the wardrobe in the morning and then go exploring. Sound good?"

"Sounds good to me," Jesse said. "How about you guys?"

Greg nodded. "It only takes a couple of hours to mix the foundation and then we have to let it set overnight, so we'll have plenty of time."

"I need to go to the store and buy supplies," Willow said, "mostly spices, since they're so cheap, and a bunch of vitamins."

"Me and Jesse can finish the dining set then," Xander said. "Max is paying a lot to put a rush on that, so I want to get it done tonight."

"I can get us movies while you guys do all that," Amy volunteered.

"I'll go with Willow," Sharon said, "so she doesn't have to carry everything by herself."

"Good then you all have to watch the movies I pick," Amy said with a grin.

"If it's too girly I'll spend the entire movie tickling you during the girly parts," Jesse warned.

Amy grinned evilly. "Better prepare to get some tired fingers then."

"No complaints about girly movies?" Willow asked Xander.

"Nah," he waved it off, "it just means we get to pick manly movies next time."

"That's fair," Willow agreed. She gave Xander a quick kiss. "See you when I get back."

"You think we can finish the table and chairs tonight?" Jesse asked as the girls left.

"Easily," Xander said, "all that's left is sanding, soaking and varnishing before we assemble it. I wanna go over it with actual sand to make sure it's as smooth as possible and since we're so much stronger now it's not going to take long at all."

"Perfectionist," Jesse teased.

"Dude, we are being paid a ridiculous amount to get it done by Monday, I want it to be perfect," Xander said.

"How ridiculous?" Jesse asked.

"Enough to pay for buildings on the other side of each wardrobe we've made," Xander said with a grin.

"Cool," Jesse said. "Let's get to work then!"

"Better grab sunglasses," Xander said, "the sand in the desert is cleaner so we'll use that."

That night at Willow's

"And out first movie for the night is…" Amy grinned evilly and pulled a bright pink video tape out of the bag, "Barbie's dream vacation!"

"Nooo!" Jesse screamed in horror.

Jerry smiled as the small pack of 'children' came through, giving him friendly waves. He leaned on the counter and sipped his coffee.

"Morning, Jerry," Catherine greeted him as she came in.

"Good morning Cath," he replied while pouring her a cup of coffee. "Going to see what madness the gang is up to today?"

"Well, they did arm themselves like they were planning a wild west shootout," Catherine said as she accepted a cup of coffee, "if not for the fact that they gave themselves strength and toughness that surpasses any demon I've ever heard of I'd be concerned."

"They are pretty safety conscious," Jerry said, "more than most adults would be even. Most adults would simply buy guns and head for a firing range, they arranged to take safety classes and bought bear mace so they wouldn't need to rely on guns as their first defense."

"Beings of light," Catherine said with a smile.

The door opened and Max entered the shop.

"I was told the furniture was ready for pickup?" he asked hopefully.

"Let me get Xander," Jerry said, before vanishing into the warehouse and returning a minute later with Xander who was dressed all in black with a black scarf covering his head, a pearl handled six shooter on his right hip, and a foot long dagger on his left.

"Hey, Max," Xander said cheerfully. "Here for the furniture?"

Max nodded. "Done already?"

Xander nodded. "You said you wanted it ready by Monday and the guy paid extra, so we finished it up yesterday, this way you can deliver it in the early morning and he'll feel he got his money's worth. Bring the truck around to the big doors and you can load it up."

"Glad to hear it," Max said looking relieved. He took a bundle of cash out of his pocket and handed it to Xander. "How'd it come out?"

"Best I've made yet," Xander said proudly. "Soaked it in blood to darken the wood as requested, ran a light flame over it to bring out the grain, and used actual sand to sand it down, not in that order of course."

"You had enough time?" Max asked surprised.

"More than enough," Xander said with a grin. "Suns were still up when we'd finished."

"Excellent," Max said, "I'll get the truck."

Once Max had left, Jerry asked, "So, what's the plan for today?"

"Exploring," Xander said excitedly. "We've got all our gear and trade goods ready, so as soon as we've opened the gate we're going to get The Boys and see what the people are like. I'm hoping I can get some actual whale oil and maybe some ivory…"

"Just stay safe," Catherine ordered.

"Planning on it," Xander said cheerfully, before joining the rest in the warehouse, noting that Max had already picked up the furniture and left.

"Almost ready, dude," Jesse said as he finished painting the runes on the massive wardrobe with blood, being careful not to get any on his pirate outfit, black pants with a poofy white shirt.

"Did you use human blood or animal?" Xander asked, pointing at the wardrobe.

"Does it matter?" Jesse replied looking at the paint tray he was using and trying to recall which he'd used.

"It might," Xander said. "Not sure, but probably."

"I completely forgot to add that as a factor," Willow said with a sigh before going to the white board and adding an additional column. "This could change some of our earlier settings. We might get something different if we use human blood on the wardrobe, but used the original circles made with animal blood."

Sharon retrieved the empty quart bottle from the garbage. "It's human," she said.

"Good," Xander said, "that means it's the same as the box."

"It would be kind of embarrassing to aim for Pirate Town and end up in the wild west," Jesse said with a grin.

"Let's get this done before the blood dries," Willow said, "that was the last of the human blood."

Everyone quickly scrambled into place not wanting to miss the chance to visit a genuine old timey sea town after all the trouble they'd gone through to get ready.

Despite their excitement, everyone performed their part of the spell perfectly.

"Felt easier this time," Amy joked as they all recovered.

"A bit," Jesse agreed with a snicker, too tired to stand.

"Who's going to open it?" Sharon asked.

"Whoever wants to," Willow replied with a shrug as she leaned against Xander.

"I just wanna sit here for a while," Jesse said, his arm around Amy as they sat on the floor.

"Yeah," Sharon agreed, laying flat on the floor and staring up at the rafters.

Jerry and Catherine came in from the front.

"Finished the cabinet?" Jerry asked, a bit jittery from the amount of magic in the air.

"Wardrobe," Xander corrected him.

"We're all too tired to get up and open it," Willow said, "so feel free."

"I'm not surprised, that is a massive wardrobe," Catherine said.

Jerry looked it over, but wasn't about to open it himself. After a few moments Catherine rolled her eyes and stepped into the circle to open it.

"Hope it's not underwater," Jesse joked, still not feeling recovered enough to bother moving.

As she pulled it open they could hear the distant cry of gulls. Sunlight poured in along with a warm breeze, carrying the scent of the sea, from the wardrobe's open door.

Catherine smiled. "Looks like paradise."

The children slowly climbed to their feet and took a peek.

"I think that would make Cordy even more jealous," Sharon said. "We should build a beach house there."

"Yeah," Xander said with a smile, lacing his fingers with Willow's.

"How much would it cost to build me one of these?" Catherine asked, picturing having her own island paradise in her closet.

"A regular size wardrobe or a massive one like this?" Xander asked.

"Regular," Catherine replied.

"First born male child is traditional," Jesse joked.

"That's sexist," Willow said, "Amy is certainly as valuable as any boy."

"Amy is already one of us," Xander said, "so I suppose we can build you one for free."

"I've been traded for furniture," Amy said dramatically before Jesse and Sharon gave her a sloppy kiss on both her cheeks making her laugh and wipe her face.

"Let's poke around and make sure it's safe before we make a wardrobe to it for her," Willow suggested.

"If we're going to make one specifically for you… we'll have to go over what it's going to look like," Xander said brightly. "I mean, these are pretty plain. I have lots of designs for fancier ones."

"Mom has a waterbed with dark red wood and a headboard with a cool mirror," Amy offered. "Could you make it match that?"

"Sure," Xander said. "I haven't worked with mirrors yet and there were some cool ideas on how to use them with furniture."

"Bro," Jesse said, "explore first."

"Yeah, let's see what the place looks like," Sharon said.

"Let's get changed!" Willow said excitedly, grabbing Amy and Sharon, dragging them off to the clothes racks.

"Lock and load people," Jesse called out with a grin. "I've always wanted to say that."

"Aren't The Boys supposed to go with you?" Jerry asked.

"We're just going to look around," Xander said, "they are coming with us when we visit the town, to discourage people from messing with us."

"They're good for that," Jerry said with a nod.

Jesse took a gun belt from the carpet bag and put it on, checking to make sure the gun was unloaded before attaching a dagger to the left hand side of the belt and retrieving a box of ammo. Xander did much the same while Jesse loaded his gun and put a small handful of ammo in his pocket before passing the box over to Xander.

The three girls came out from behind the racks of clothes dressed like Amish women, in simple black dresses covered in blue capes and aprons with simple white bonnets.

"How do I look?" Amy asked Jesse.

"Like you stepped out of Little House on the Prairie," Jesse said. "You guys look hella cute."

"Cute as a bug in a rug," Xander agreed taking Willows hands and leaning forward to rub his nose against hers, making her smile widely.

"Let's see how you girls look properly armed," Jesse said, picking up and passing them the carpetbag.

The three girls were shortly all armed, each having carefully followed their gun handling lessons and tucked extra ammo into their aprons.

"Now you look even cuter," Jesse said.

"Huh, you actually do," Xander said as he looked over Willow sounding faintly surprised.

"Let's go exploring!" Sharon exclaimed pointing at the wardrobe. "I have binoculars and I want to get a peek at the town." She retrieved an old set of heavy metal binoculars from her backpack.

"Cool!" Amy enthused and the children gathered around to examine her binoculars.

"Dude, we should totally get some of these," Jesse told Xander.

"Yup," Xander agreed as he passed them to Willow to look at. "Don't know why we didn't think of it ourselves."

The gang walked through the wardrobe easily fitting the entire group at once, as Xander had made if large enough for The Boys to carry building supplies through.

They stepped out onto a beach of pure white sand under bright blue skies, a breeze off the tropical sea cooling them slightly.

"Where's the town?" Willow asked as they looked at the miles of pristine island paradise with not a speck of human presence in sight.

"Um… if each wardrobe opens randomly like the desert ones, then… we could be dozens of miles away from any town," Sharon said. "The box was just a lucky fluke, I guess."

"f*ck!" Xander yelled in frustration letting himself fall flat on his back on the sand.

"Watch the potty mouth, mister," Willow scolded him. "No kisses for five… seconds!"

"That's not much of a punishment," Amy noted.

"I know, but just because he cursed doesn't mean I gotta suffer too!" Willow explained, making Xander laugh.

Chapter 17

Chapter Text

"Let's look around," Jesse said reaching down to pull Xander up, "maybe the town is on the other side of the island. He braced himself and pulled on Xander's arm like he normally would, launching him over his back.

Xander landed flat on his back ten feet behind Jesse.

Jesse spun around. "Dude! I didn't mean to do that!"

Xander burst out laughing as the girls rushed over to make sure he was okay. Willow carefully helped him up and brushed the sand off.

"It's okay, Jesse," he said, "I know we're all still learning how strong we are." He grabbed Willow's hand. "I was overacting, there probably is a town nearby and if not we can make another wardrobe," he said apologetically.

"They probably didn't put one on this side of the island because of the reef," Sharon said. "You can see it out there among the rocks," she said passing him her binoculars.

Xander took the binoculars and focused them where she was pointing, seeing the way the water behaved compared to the rest of it. "Yeah, that would totally tear up a ship."

The binoculars got passed around as everyone eagerly took a look.

"Yeah, ships are definitely not coming in here from that side," Jesse said.

"Let's take a look at the other side," Amy said as she started walking down the beach, waving for the others to follow.

"Why don't we walk across the middle of the island?" Sharon asked as they walked.

"It'd take longer to climb all that," Amy replied waving at the rising wall of rock in the center of the island. "Besides, we don't have mountain climbing stuff."

"We don't need any," Jesse reminded her, "we're Spiderman!"

"Oh yeah," the young witch said, "forgot that."

"Besides we'll be able to see the entire island from up there," Jesse added.

"Inland we go," Willow said pulling Xander after her as they marched up the beach and into the grass and bushes.

"We should change our clothes, dresses aren't really something to go climbing in," Amy pointed out.

"And back to the portal," Xander said pulling Willow towards the beach.

"Are we still going to need weapons?" Sharon asked.

"Probably," Willow said as she stopped walking and let Xander pull her along, not even noticing the additional drag as she grinned, her feet digging furrows in the sand.

"Weapons and pants," Xander agreed.

The gang piled through the portal and back into the warehouse.

"Back so soon?" Catherine asked, she was sitting at a table and looking over the notes on the latest circle Willow had the group working on which was almost the same as the last one but required inhuman precision on how the symbols were carved.

"We're nowhere near a town, so we're going to climb a mountain to see if the island is actually occupied," Amy explained.

"And that means pants!" Sharon cheered as everyone went to change back into their normal clothes.

"It's probably an inactive volcano," Catherine suggested as she went to peek through the portal herself.

"Really? That would be so cool," Jesse said from behind the wardrobe as he carefully changed, not wanting to tear his pants apart.

Catherine returned as the kids were strapping on their guns. "It's a volcanic island," she said, "and while I'm no expert, that means there is probably a freshwater lake at the top, so you may want to bring your swimsuits."

"Good idea," Willow said as she opened the large backpack she'd been carrying and removed most of the trade goods so she would have room for other things.

"I'll run to the store and get picnic supplies," Xander volunteered.

The Boys came out of the portal and saw the gang was making sandwiches and putting them in a cooler.

"We're finished with today's work and are letting it set up," Greg reported. "Are you guys ready to go to the pirate town?"

"Our aim was off," Xander said, "so instead we got a beach on an island that's probably deserted, so we're going to climb the volcano for a better view to see if the town is on the other side of it and then we are going to have a picnic and go swimming."

"Do you still want us to come?" Linda asked hopefully.

"Sure, but you're going to have to pack your own lunch," Willow said, "we didn't get enough stuff for ten people."

"I'll go get the bear," Brian said, ducking back through the portal.

"Another bear?" Jesse asked.

"It's going to take a while to clear them out," Maggie said, "there are a lot of bears."

"We probably don't have to worry about bears so much anymore," Jesse said making a muscle and frowning as it was still pretty small despite his strength.

"But what if we have friends over?" Sharon asked.

"Good point," Amy said. "Continue with the wiping out of the bears."

"What's the island look like?" Linda asked.

"Take a peek," Xander said, waving towards the latest wardrobe.

The Boys quickly went through, returning less than a minute later.

"Are you going to want a building there too?" Greg asked hopefully.

"Eventually," Xander said. "I figure we can probably just use a tent until the other ones are done."

Greg's smile was almost blinding, happy he and his friends had a lot of work lined up.

Brian returned with a dead bear on his back, one that was half the size of the monster they'd caught last time. "I've got lunch!"

"Cool," Jesse said with a grin, "let's go climb a volcano!"

"You're going to need a rope to haul the bear on your back so your hands will be free to climb," Xander told Brian.

"Good idea," Greg said, "we have some at the camp," he went through the wardrobe to get it.

It only took another minute before the group was walking through and onto the beach, Brian bringing up the rear with a bear tied onto his back much like Willow used to wear her teddy bear backpack.

The Boys took off their boots and left them in a pile by the portal.

"Aren't you going to need those?" Sharon asked.

"Our feet are tough enough not to need them and it's easier to climb without them," Maggie said wiggling her toes and showing off her claws which had been painted a bright yellow.

"Easier to find the gate back if there's something that's easy to spot near it too," Greg added as he made a line of the black boots on the white sand.

"Good idea," Xander said, noting that all the monster girls had painted their toenails.

"Everyone, forward march!" Jesse ordered with a grin, holding his dagger aloft.

The girls giggled as they marched inland in high spirits practically bouncing through the foliage until they reached the tree line further in and Jesse started marking the trees as they went, though The Boys tended to leave a trail a blind man could follow as branches broke against them unnoticed.

"We have volcano," Jesse said as they broke through the jungle foliage some time later and into the clearing around the base of the volcano where the jungle foliage was light because the volcano blocked out the sun for half the day.

"That's like hundreds of feet!" Amy exclaimed.

"Yeah, but it has an angle, it's not just like straight up and down," Willow pointed out. "Come on, it'll be easy. "

"Is no one worried about climbing this?" Jesse asked, gesturing to the volcano.

"I'm a little worried that I'm not worried," Sharon admitted. At everyone's confused expressions she explained, "I mean, I should be worried, but we can fall a long way and barely even notice and I can do pull ups with just my left pinky… so I'm not really worried and it seems so strange, I'm a little worried about not being worried."

The gang nodded while The Boys just looked confused.

"What if we fall from really high up?" Amy asked.

"We're like ants," Willow said, "you can only fall so fast and ants are tough enough, while weighing so little, that they can't get hurt. We could jump out of a plane without a parachute and we'd be fine, I've done the math."

"Cool!" Xander and Jesse chorused.

"Off we go," Xander said excitedly as he started to climb, finding it extremely easy.

"That Re'em's blood was such a good idea," Amy said as she followed, finding it easy to pull herself up like she weighed almost nothing.

The group gathered on a large ledge a quarter of the way to the top to check with each other and see how they were doing.

"Maybe we should test the falling thing," Xander said as he looked down, "before we get any higher." He took off the pack containing their supplies and set it down.

"What? You mean like jump from here?!" Amy asked incredulously.

"Not everyone," Xander said, "one person is enough."

"Dude, we're like five stories above the ground," Jesse said in disbelief, thinking it was the craziest idea Xander had come up with since he said he was going to make a wardrobe to reach Narnia.

"Yeah, but I trust Willow's math," Xander said, and leapt off the ledge before anyone could stop him.

"Xander!" Willow leapt after him without a second thought.

Amy quickly grabbed Jesse and Sharon in a tight grip to make sure they wouldn't jump.

Sharon whipped out her binoculars and looked down at the two. "They're okay," she reported, "and Willow is smacking him in the shoulder… and now he's getting back up… and they're hugging and smooching."

"Anyone brought cards?" Amy asked, releasing the two now that she was sure they weren't planning on jumping. "Cause now we gotta wait for them to catch back up."

"I do," Jesse said, taking a deck out of his pocket.

"Go Fish?" Sharon suggested.

"Blackjack," Amy said, "it shouldn't take them that long to climb back up here."

Sharon used her binoculars to look back down at the pair once more. "Yeah, but they aren't done smooching yet."

"Go Fish it is," Jesse said as they sat down and he dealt out the cards.

Brian looked at Greg. "Could we jump from this high?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah, but we'd be limping for a while."

"Good thing we've got claws," Maggie said, knowing they wouldn't fall on accident.

"Uno?" Linda suggested, pulling out a battered deck of Uno cards.

"Good idea," Greg said as they sat down and she passed out the cards, "their rutting is going to take a while."

The kids giggled but didn't comment.

Three hands later…

"We're coming up," Xander called out from just below the ledge.

Amy handed her cards to Jesse and started climbing, wanting to be the first one to the top. "Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can," she sang.

"Wait for us," Jesse said as he quickly collected the cards and stuffed them in his pocket.

Sharon grabbed the pack with all the picnic supplies and hurried after them, as Xander and Willow climbed onto the ledge.

"Looks like they got bored waiting," Willow guessed as they continued on, trying to catch up.

"I regret nothing," Xander said with a grin. "Infinite smooches!"

Willow laughed and the pair quickly caught up with the group.

Jesse and Amy reached the top of the volcano ahead of the others just over half an hour later with Jesse beating Amy by half a body length.

"Woot! First one!" Jesse cheered.

"Yeah, well…" Amy's voice trailed off as she looked around.

Xander and Willow were the next to make it and quickly joined Amy and Jesse in staring.

The lip of the volcano was at least twenty feet wide, with breaks a dozen feet long in places along the rim, the caldera was the size of a football stadium, filled with water that reflected the perfect blue sky above. It was a breathtaking sight.

"Glad we weren't racing," Sharon joked as she dusted herself off and looked back down at The Boys who were still a few dozen feet below.

"We'll be able to see the whole island just walking along the rim," Amy noted.

"Except for the parts with breaks in them," Willow replied, pointing out gaps in the lip they were standing on.

"I think that's where the water leaks out," Jesse said, "otherwise it would be up to the rim and not…" he walked to the inner edge, the others following him, "about two stories down."

Xander and Jesse watched the water below them.

"Take off your guns," Willow suddenly ordered the two.

"Take off their guns?" Amy asked curiously.

"They're about to push each other into the water," Willow replied. "They both have sneaky grins."

Jesse and Xander looked at each other and laughed before taking off their weapons and starting to strip down to their shorts, just as The Boys managed to finish their climb.

"Climbing's got a lot easier," Brian said as he removed the rope holding the bear on his back and let it fall to the rock at his feet.

"So's work," Linda added, they glanced over to where Jesse and Xander had started wrestling and Xander had managed to get the upper hand and raised Jesse above his head.

Xander heaved Jesse towards the water, but Jesse had grabbed his hand so they both ended up flying out over the water and falling with a yell that was quickly followed by a large splash.

"Time for a swim," Maggie said and The Boys swiftly shed their clothing and jumped off into the water.

"We should probably buy them swimsuits," Willow decided.

"Or at least underwear," Sharon said.

"Last one in's a rotten egg," Amy said and started stripping as fast as she could, revealing she'd worn her swimsuit under her clothes.

"No fair!" Willow exclaimed as she dug her swimsuit out of the pack while Sharon revealed she'd worn hers under her clothes as well.

A little over an hour later

The gang ate their sandwiches, letting the sun dry them, while The Boys used their claws to tear off and eat chunks of raw bear meat.

"I'm surprised it's not windier up here," Sharon said.

"It really should be," Willow said, "not sure why it isn't."

"We should carve ledges in the rock so we can jump up and down easier," Jesse said, "like Mario Brothers."

"Or get good enough at portals that we can just move them where we like," Sharon said.

"Working on it," Willow said cheerfully.

"We should explore that island," Xander said, pointing to the center of the crater.

"It's a stone mound in the center of an inactive volcano," Jesse said, "not much to explore."

"We can look at it as we walk around the lip," Amy added.

"What about the gaps?" Sharon asked.

"We can jump them," Amy said confidently.

"Works for me," Jesse agreed.

"Let's leave our stuff here so we'll know when we have finished going around," Willow said.

"I don't think we can jump the gaps," Greg said apologetically.

"You guys can stay here and swim," Willow said, "it shouldn't take us more than an hour or so to make it back here."

The Boys looked relieved at that as Greg nodded and said, "Thanks, we'll wait for you here."

The gang put their clothes on over their mostly dry swimsuits and started circling the volcano, walking along the lip to the left, trying to look everywhere at once.

"The reef is everywhere," Jesse said, passing the binoculars back as they reached the first gap, a gap at least twice as long as a parking space.

"Let's see if we can jump it," Xander said moving back so he could get a running start. He took a deep breath and sprinted forward, overshooting by over a dozen feet and almost stumbling off the edge as he landed. "Ack!" He windmilled his arms wildly and stumbled backwards, falling on his butt.

"Let's try closer to the center," Jesse decided, not wanting to fall off the outer edge. Jesse took a running start and leapt, aiming for the inner edge and managed to land in the center. "Tada!" he said with a grin, making Xander roll his eyes.

The girls followed his example and the group continued on, seeing nothing but reef and rocks in the water around the island and nothing but rounded stone in the center of the volcano until they'd gotten about three quarters of the way around.

"I see a cave," Willow announced as she took her turn with the binoculars and pointed them inwards.

The gang all turned to look, having been looking down at the island and the water surrounding it.

"Dragon!" Willow yelped and then relaxed. "Okay, false alarm," she said as a silver winged form the size of a school bus launched itself into the air.

Everyone just stared at her, looked at the dragon heading their way and then back at her.

"What?" Willow asked.

Richard Wilkins the First through Third ran his hand along the wood of the table in admiration, feeling a slight sting as he touched a glowing grain of sand lacquered into the dark wood like a star floating in the night sky. The table was littered with small points of light among the dark grain and would serve his purposes admirably, for while he felt a slight sting it would burn any vampire or demon like a red-hot coal, putting them on edge and making them easier to manipulate. The crystallized blood used as nails was the perfect accent to it, the power and precision needed to create them underlying the power involved.

"I really got my money's worth with this," Mayor Wilkins said, "I'll have to give Max a bonus and perhaps request a few pieces for my home.

Yes, he decided he would definitely have to have some more work done, you just couldn't find high quality pieces like this anymore. He turned and glanced at his china hutch. He'd curse IKEA but it was run by demons even he couldn't touch… yet.

Chapter 18

Chapter Text

"False alarm?" Jesse asked in disbelief as he stared at the massive silver reptile that was gliding through the air towards them. "That's a dragon!"

"I'm not saying it's not a dragon, I'm saying there's no need to be alarmed," Willow replied rolling her eyes.

Xander opened his mouth, closed it and began to grin, causing Amy and Sharon to calm down as they saw he was no longer worried. The large silver dragon landed behind Willow, the wind from its wings blowing their hair back as it settled to the ground the frilled crest on its head giving the appearance of a mohawk that ran the full sixteen foot length of its body and a second frill hanging from its chin like a gotee.

"Dragons are the very definition of alarm!" Jesse yelled. "There is no false alarm because dragon equals alarm!"

"You never bothered to do the reading on dragons I assigned," Willow accused him.

"I paged through them," Jesse defended himself, glancing at the dragon but it seemed to be waiting patiently behind his friend, radiating amusem*nt, "and I remember that chrome dragons were evil."

"Chromatic," Willow corrected him, "chromatic dragons are evil."

"There are different colors of chrome now?" Jesse asked confused.

Willow groaned. "Jesse, please strip down to your swim trunks."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I want to throw you into the water, but I'm not mad enough to get all your things wet," she explained in exasperation.

"Fine, but I still want to know why multicolored chrome dragons aren't a reason to panic," he said as he started stripping, with Amy and Sharon lending a hand that made it take twice as long.

Willow walked him to the inner edge. "Chromatic refers to color, basic colors on dragons means evil, metallic dragons are good," she explained.

"Oh," Jesse said, finally understanding where he'd screwed up before Willow shoved him, sending him flying out over the water.

"So, silver dragons are good?" Amy asked just to be sure, ignoring the splash of Jesse hitting the water.

"Silver dragons are the best dragons," Xander said confidently.

"I think gold are supposed to be better," Willow said. "It's kinda subjective. I mean, gold are more powerful but they're…"

"Pricks," Xander said. "Silver dragons aren't all hung up on rules like gold dragons are, so they are more good than gold dragons are."

The silver dragon made a sound that was definitely a laugh though it was more a stuttering hiss.

"I don't know a lot about dragons," Sharon admitted. "What do I need to know?"

"Silver dragons are good people, can communicate with any intelligent being, and can shape shift," Xander offered, waving towards the dragon who looked a bit surprised, which was an unusual look for a dragon.

"Wish I'd known that a couple of minutes ago," Jesse called out as he climbed back up, "would have saved me a dip."

"Then you should have read the stuff I told you to read," Willow said with a huff.

"You tell me to read everything!" Jesse whined.

"Yep," Willow said smugly.

Xander laughed while the girls giggled.

"Mind taking on an elfin form so we can talk?" Xander asked the dragon.

The massive creature's form shivered and seemed to melt as it shrank down into a young Elfin maiden in a suit of silver scale mail. "You are unusually well educated for one so young," she noted.

"Our culture believes in extensive education," Willow said proudly.

"Yeah," Jesse grumbled, "only a dozen more years to go."

"That's quite a bit for your species," she said with some surprise.

Feeling a bit under dressed in front of the young Elven maid, Jesse quickly got dressed.

"Xander," he introduced himself and offered a hand.

"Elanthersell'ohathem," she replied grasping his forearm, which he quickly reciprocated.

"Willow," the redhead introduced herself, clasping forearms.

"Jesse," he quickly introduced himself, as he buckled on his gun belt.

"Amy," the young witch said, stepping forward and clasping forearms.

"Sharon," Sharon said nervously, moving forward to do the same. "Being a dragon is awesome, isn't it?"

"I enjoy it," the young woman said cheerfully.

"Do you want us to butcher your name, or can we call you Elan?" Jesse asked, making Willow groan and bury her face in her hands. "What?" he asked cluelessly. "It's a good question, my tongue isn't that flexible!"

The dragon's elfin laughter sparked a lot of giggling as she apparently took no offense. "Elan is fine, I was just being formal."

"Formally we all have three names and I don't even use all of my first one," Xander admitted.

"Unless you're signing a treaty it's really not important," she assured him. "What brings you here and do you need any help; I know of no ship that can make its way past the reef and the rocks and stay intact."

"We're fine," Willow was quick to assure her, "we just aimed the portal wrong and ended up here instead of at the town."

"Portal?" Elan asked curiously. "Did you use an artifact of some kind?"

"Not an artifact," Xander said firmly, "just a magical item."

"Really? How long does it take to recharge? What form does it take?" she rattled off quickly, eyes lighting up.

"She's Willow as an elf, I mean dragon," Jesse said with a grin.

Xander grabbed Willow's hand and laced his fingers through hers.

"It's a continual effect," Willow replied, "and we make them out of wardrobes."

"You make them?" Elan asked in disbelief, looking over the group carefully, wondering if they actually were human children, but not rude enough to ask.

"Sure, wanna see?" Sharon asked.

"The portal is down at the beach," Xander explained, "we climbed up here to see where we were."

"We should be heading back anyway," Willow said, "you can come along with us if you want."

"I'd like that," Elan said.

The small group started walking along the rim.

"Who are your friends?" Elan asked, spotting the group of horned figures who were eating a bear, which was definitely not a local animal.

"Those are The Boys," Amy said, "the tallest one is Brian, then there's Greg who is the leader, at least I think he is since he's the one who figures out what they should do."

"The three girls are Linda, Maggie, and Sarah," Sharon listed them off.

"We'll introduce you when we reach them," Willow promised as they reached a ten-foot gap.

The group didn't even pause, jumping the crevice with ease.

Elan was definitely beginning to doubt her assumption they were humans but couldn't figure out what they were. "What are you being trained in?" she asked.

"Everything," Jesse complained.

"General knowledge at the moment," Willow said. "We have a couple more years before we can branch off into other things."

"Let's see… History, Math, Science, Art, and Physical Education," Sharon listed off, "also the guys are learning Woodworking, while we have Home Economics."

"That is quite the list," Elan said impressed and unsure what some of the courses of study actually were.

"And then there's our personal projects," Willow added, "like Xander's furniture making and Jesse's interest in metallurgy."

"Not to mention all the work we're doing on translating books and designing new magic circles," Amy added. "The math on those are way beyond what we're learning in school."

"Wizarding magic, mostly enchantment," Willow told Elan, "it's how we make the portals."

"That's quite impressive," Elan said, "I lean more towards clerical myself, though I have been studying enchantments lately, ones that create portals in fact."

"Excellent!" Xander exclaimed. "Maybe you can point out what we're doing wrong."

"I've only been studying it for the last decade," Elan warned, "I'm far from an expert."

"A decade for you is like a month for us," Xander realized thinking of a dragon's life span. "Oh well, you may have some ideas we haven't thought of anyway."

"Hey, Guys!" Jesse called out as they reached The Boys and quickly introduced everyone, The Boys had dressed while they were walking around the rim so it wasn't too awkward.

"Tiefling?" she asked, their obvious non-human features making the question much less impolite than it normally would be.

"What's a tiefling?" Greg asked.

"It's someone with extradimensional parents," Elan explained.

"Pretty sure ma doesn't have any extra dimensions," Brian said.

"My ma is getting big in the rear," Linda offered.

"Not quite what she meant," Willow said with a giggle. "Tieflings are those with heritage that is either angelic or demonic."

"We're tieflings then, from both sides," Greg said proudly, "mostly human though."

"Hence the awesome horns and bear hunting skills," Jesse said.

"And fast healing, claws, fangs, and great strength," Amy listed off.

"It's a bit of a climb down," Xander said, looking over the edge while they were introductions were being made.

"Xander, no," Willow said, seeing the gleam in his eye.

Xander walked back to the inner edge. "I trust your math," he reminded her.

"We're like two hundred feet up!" Willow complained. "Trust my math on the ground!"

Xander ran and leapt off the volcano gaining an impressive amount of distance.

"I don't like heights!" Willow yelled as she immediately leapt after him.

Elan froze in shock at seeing the two leap to their deaths, but relaxed as she noticed no one else seemed concerned. "Not going to jump as well?" she asked.

"No," Jesse said shaking his head. "I'd rather climb down, otherwise we'll be stuck waiting for them to finish kissing and with something like this, that's going to take a while."

"And what if we want some kissing?" Sharon asked as she and Amy exchanged grins.

"I've got no problem with that!" Jesse quickly assured them. "I just feel kinda awkward standing around while they do it."

Sharon and Amy walked to the inner edge.

"And it looks like we'll be taking the fast way down," Jesse said. He turned to Greg. "Be sure to bring our pack."

Amy and Sharon waited for Jesse to join them and the three joined hands before running forward and leaping off the volcano with an excited yell.

Linda loosened the straps on the backpack so it would fit her.

"Not jumping?" Elan asked cautiously.

"We'd break every bone in our bodies if we tried that," Greg said with a shudder. "We aren't as strong as they are."

"I see," Elan said. "I think I'll fly down." She shifted back into a dragon and leapt off the lip, her wings spreading out to catch the wind as the currents bent to her whims and gently carried her down to the base of the volcano.

It only took a minute for Elan to reach the ground and find Willow was yelling at Xander for being reckless.

Xander pulled Willow into a hug and kissed her. "I already tested it earlier from the ledge," he reminded her, "so I knew I'd be okay." He kissed her again and she relaxed against him.

"Make with the kisses," Sharon ordered Jesse.

"Ma'am, yes, Ma'am," Jesse replied with a salute before grabbing her while Amy laughed.

Elan looked at everyone closely, noting the lack of visible injuries despite the foot-deep holes in the soil that said they'd hit the ground feet first without the use of Featherfall or similar enchantments.

"Switch!" Amy called out and Jesse release Sharon turning to Amy, but before he could kiss her Sharon grabbed Amy and kissed her instead.

"Hey," he complained, "no hogging the Amy!"

The two girls burst out laughing.

"Can I get away with calling it a leap of faith?" Xander asked Willow.

"Too cheesy," Willow argued.

"Too bad, cause I'm calling it," he told her.

"I'm not fond of heights, at least not jumping from them," Willow said.

"You didn't have to jump," Xander said.

Willow grabbed his face and looked him dead in the eyes. "Yes, I did."

"They are so over the top," Jesse said shaking his head as his two best friends kissed like they were the only two people in the world.

"It's romantic," Amy told him.

"You did refuse to let us jump alone," Sharon pointed out with a grin.

"I couldn't let you guys jump alone," Jesse protested, sounding offended at the very idea.

The girls tackled him to the ground and peppered him with kisses.

Elan just looked on finding the group amusing and confusing in equal measures. "What are they?"

"Human," Xander said.

"Did I say that out loud?" Elan asked before sighing. "Sorry, that was rude of me."

"It's okay," Willow assured her. "We're human, we just drank some blood from the sun god's herd of cattle, so we're really strong and tough."

'Chosen', Elan decided, 'probably descended from a god some generations back, else they wouldn't have been offered such an honor.'

"What brought you to this island?" Willow asked, leaning back against Xander as he hugged her.

"You don't think I live here?" Elan asked with a smile.

"Silver dragons prefer colder climates and you mentioned studying portals, so my best guess is that your lair is some forgotten mages tower on a snow-covered peak that has a portal that leads here," Willow replied.

"That is an amazingly accurate guess," Elan replied, stunned.

"The tiny cave you came out of is kinda cramped for a dragon," Willow said, "unless the volcano is hollow, which isn't likely, but it is the perfect size and placement for a mage to have set up shop."

"Placement?" Sharon asked as she and Amy let Jesse up and brushed themselves off.

"Mages tend towards the overly dramatic," Xander said.

"For safety's sake they'll build their mages tower in the middle of nowhere, but then they'll make it really obvious what it is," Willow explained. "An out of place island in the center of a volcano is just the sort of thing they'd do. He probably set a portal up to it just before he died or whatever, because otherwise he'd have used an Earth Elemental to make a good-sized castle up there."

"Wait, we can summon elementals and have them build castles?" Jesse asked excitedly.

"No, we can't," Willow said, "that's why we hired The Boys to build things for us."

"Why can't we?" Xander asked curiously.

"Summoning is kinda like making portals, but it's got a whole bunch of other stuff involved," Willow explained. "We'd have to study how to communicate with the summoned being and bind them to our will. That's a whole lot more work and I find the entire idea icky."

"Couldn't we just bribe them?" Jesse asked.

"Maybe," Willow conceded, "but we'd still have to do a lot more work, I'm talking three to four times what we're doing now and it'd take us a couple of years."

"And suddenly I like The Boys even more," Jesse said cheerfully making the group laugh. "But seriously, let's at least look into the idea with an eye to doing it after high school, cause I'd love to move into a castle rather than a crappy apartment when we're finally old enough to get our own place."

"That is a good idea," Willow said, "not the summoning but having our own castle. I'll see what I can come up with."

"There are many types of magic that lend themselves to construction," Elan offered. "Of course the easiest is simply paying someone else to do it, money is a magic all its own."

"That we know," Xander said with a smile.

"Probably be faster to pay to have a castle built," Jesse said thoughtfully, "easier too."

"The Boys are making good time," Willow noted as she looked up at the volcano and saw the five had reached the ledge three quarters of the way down the side of the volcano.

"It's quicker going down," Jesse said quirking his eyebrows at Amy and Sharon who blushed as they got the joke, bad as it was and smacked him on the shoulder, knocking him flat on his back.

"We really should work on controlling our strength," Jesse said with a grin.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure they meant to do that," Xander told him as the girls giggled.

"For that joke he deserved it," Willow said.

"It was just a little innuendo," Jesse argued as the two pulled him to his feet.

"Yeah, but it's corny," Sharon said.

"Not clever at all," Amy agreed.

"So, I gotta make clever innuendo now?" Jesse demanded.

"If you're going to make bad jokes, you have to be good at it," Xander said seriously.

Jesse narrowed his eyes and scanned the gang. "You're all just messing with me," he realized, making them burst out laughing.

"We really should practice controlling our strength before we accidentally hurt someone," Sharon said.

"Yeah, I felt bad for a moment when I knocked Jesse over before I remembered he'd barely feel it," Amy agreed.

"So, I can still make bad jokes?" Jesse asked hopefully.

"We wouldn't be dating you if we didn't like them," Sharon assured him.

Jesse hugged them both to him. "Good, it's like half my personality."

"A third at most," Willow disagreed.

"There's also the arguing about Sci-Fi," Xander teased, "it really helps the percentages."

"You make a lotta bad jokes too," Jesse said.

"Yes, but I've got it down to a quarter," Xander joked.

"Dude," Jesse said looking horrified, "I haven't heard you crack any bad jokes in a week!"

"What?!"

"Dude, not one joke of questionable taste has passed your lips in the past seven days," Jesse said solemnly.

"Ahh! Where's my dirty joke book!" Xander started running for the beach.

"Xander, no!" Willow exclaimed and ran after him.

"Xander, yes," Jesse said with a smirk.

"Wait, I heard him tell one yesterday," Amy said.

"I know," Jesse said. "Hey Guys, let's go!" he called to The Boys who were only about ten feet above the ground so they simply dropped to the ground and followed the group into the jungle.

Elan laughed and followed them.

Chapter 19

Chapter Text

Elan looked around her in wonder, it was like she'd stepped into a Sage's workshop, there were devices of great complexity, and the wards were the strongest she'd ever felt, yet they paled in comparison to the power inherent in the circles the 'children' had carved for their workings.

"Thankfully the blood crystallizes so we don't have to keep redoing them," Willow explained, as she walked the young dragon through the steps on how they made the wardrobes, "but while we can reach the same world, the exact spot is pretty much random." She gestured to the whiteboard.

"I can see where that would be a problem," Elan agreed. "How do you factor in the time component? I'm not seeing anything dealing with that factor, nor any anchors."

"Time," Jesse said as he and Xander stared at each other, dumbfounded.

"We completely ignored that," Willow admitted with a groan.

"Anchor?" Amy asked.

"It's much easier to aim a portal if you have a target," Elan explained, wondering how they'd managed to create such wonders with no knowledge of the basics, it was like they were trying to invent the entire branch of magic from a few traveler's tales.

"How do you make an anchor?" Willow asked excitedly.

"How does time factor into anything?" Sharon asked Amy while Willow discussed magic with Elan.

"The planet is always turning, so you open the door it will set it up wherever the planet was at that point," Amy suggested. "People plan out rituals with specific days and times so they match up a lot, but usually it's because of the tides of magic, like there being more magic available on a full moon or during certain holidays."

"Does it set the spot when the spell ends or when the door is first opened?" Sharon asked.

Amy shrugged. "No idea, but probably when the spell finishes."

"So we'd have to set everything up for the exact same time of day or year?" Sharon asked.

"Day is probably good enough," Amy decided, "I don't think any of us are patient enough to wait all year."

"And maybe we have to open a portal on Christmas to reach certain places like Narnia," Jesse suggested.

"That… is a good point," Xander said, having abandoned what Elan and Willow were discussing as Willow had started to explain Bell's Theorem to the young dragon, which had required a discussion of molecules and the nature of matter.

"It's getting a bit crowded in here," Amy noted as they moved aside to let The Boys through so they could get more bags of cement, wanting to finish their work before it got too late.

"We need a bigger workshop so we don't crowd out Jerry," Xander agreed.

"Is the lodge going to be big enough?" Sharon asked.

"It's kinda small," Xander said, "but we can have a bigger place built somewhere else, if we can figure out how to aim the portals right so we have more than one way in and out."

"Yeah, it'd suck to get stuck because someone closed the wardrobe or accidentally broke it," Jesse agreed.

Catherine and Jerry came in from the front.

"New friend?" Catherine asked, seeing Elan and Willow working on something on the white board.

"We met Elan on top of the volcano," Amy said, "she works with portals too!"

Jerry sniffed the air, his eyes widening. "She's…"

"A dragon," Xander said, "but a silver one, so she's cool."

"Silver dragons are the best dragons according to Xander," Jesse said with a grin.

"And if you'd read up on them you'd know that," Xander fired back. "Silver dragons are the ones most like humans in how they think. They often marry humans and have kids with them too. Can't get much closer than that."

"I've never heard of a dragon marrying a human, much less mating with one," Cathy said, "but then I've never seen one that looks so human before either."

"She just took that form to visit," Xander said, "she'd never fit through the portal otherwise."

"A shapeshifting dragon?" Jerry asked in disbelief.

"Dragons, true dragons," Xander said realizing they might not be as well educated on the subject as he was, "are not just large fire breathing lizards. True dragons are magic made flesh, more intelligent than humans and more powerful then… really anything you're likely to run into. Demigod is a good comparison."

"Yes!" Willow exclaimed, jumping up and down as she rapidly scribbled notes on the board.

"Discovered something?" Xander asked Willow.

"If everything works out the way Elan's described, and I don't see why they wouldn't, we can definitely connect cabinets together and put portals right where we want, as long as we go there in person first!" Willow said excitedly.

"So we could each have a wardrobe in our own room that leads to a room where we have all the wardrobes," Jesse said thoughtfully.

"Like a hub," Willow agreed, "and it means we don't have to worry about getting stuck somewhere as long as we set out spare anchors in advance."

"Shouldn't take more than a season or two to learn the spells," Elan offered.

"I'm pretty sure I can adapt them to fit with what we're already doing," Willow said, "but yeah, that's going to take a while."

"Not like we're in a rush," Jesse said.

"Yeah, we need to give The Boys time to build everything first," Xander agreed.

"I'm going to order pizza," Jesse said. "Anyone want anything?"

"Two liter of co*ke," Xander said.

"Breadsticks," Sharon added.

"Better double our usual order," Willow said, "Elan hasn't had pizza before."

"What is pizza?" Elan asked as Jesse went to call in their order.

"Bread, meat, cheese, and tomato sauce cooked together," Xander listed off. "It's one of our favorite foods."

Jerry followed Jesse, planning on adding his own order.

"Where do all the gates lead?" Elan asked as the kids found places to sit and wait for diner.

Xander stood back up, happy to show off what they'd built. "Well we have Cold Storage, which is a world of ice and snow." He braced himself and opened the door allowing a blast of wind and snow to swirl through for a moment before forcing it closed.

"It's too cold and windy for us to really explore," Willow offered, "we're probably going to build a warehouse there and just use it as a big walk in freezer."

"Then we have the Endless Desert," Xander said opening the next wardrobe and letting in a flood of light and heat. "It's got a couple of suns and is always day. It's all just sand as far as we can tell."

Elan stepped through to look around and quickly returned. "Why is there a pot full of blood?"

"I"m boiling it down for the iron in the blood," Jesse explained.

"It's going to take quite a lot of blood to gain enough iron to forge a blade with," Elan retorted.

"I know," Jesse agreed, "but I can get a good amount of blood from the butcher without too much trouble. It's a work in progress."

"That reminds me," Willow said, "I have to order more human blood from the mortician, we're out."

"From the mortician?" Elan asked, mentally weighing the ethics of using human blood in rituals and how they obtained it.

"Our culture either embalms or cremates our dead for the most part, so we can get human blood from people who have died of natural causes," Willow explained, "it's much less… icky that way."

"That is a moral way to acquire human blood," Elan decided.

"And here is the Larder," Xander said, gesturing to the open wardrobe where The Boys were mixing and pouring cement.

Elan poked her head through, returning a wave to Linda before stepping back out.

"You've already seen the one that leads to the island," Xander said, "We made a chest that leads to either a freshwater lake or ocean, but we gave that to a friend who needed a source of water for his own settlement in the Endless Desert."

"That's all the worlds we've made portals to," Willow said, "we're trying to find Narnia or something close to it, it's a magical land, so we've been experimenting."

"Remarkable work," Elan said impressed, "especially for ones so young."

"We try," Jesse said with a grin, causing some giggling as he puffed out his chest.

"If I see so far it is only because I stand on the shoulders of giants," Willow quoted. At Elan's look she explained, "Not literally, I mean we are building on things others have figured out so it's not all us."

"Starting out from scratch would be a lot harder," Sharon agreed.

"It'd probably take a lot of chickens," Xander agreed.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

Xander blinked. "What? The most primitive magic is Voodoo and it takes a lot of chickens from what I know."

"Oh," Amy said nodding. "Yeah, lots of chicken and whiskey."

"It's pretty effective by all accounts," Willow pointed out, "using simple easy to access ingredients they have managed some massively impressive stuff."

"So, they are the MacGuyver's of the magical world?" Xander asked.

"Pretty much," Willow agreed.

"Cool," Jesse said. "We should study it."

Cathy bit her lip to keep from giggling as she listened to the children debate the merits of voodoo, something they were only faintly aware of and mostly through TV and movies.

"We're already studying a bunch of different stuff," Sharon pointed out. "Don't have enough time to study everything."

"Too bad, would have been cool," Jesse replied.

"A lot of the basic ideas carry over anyway," Willow assured him. "I'll see if they have a 'For Dummies' guide for it."

"Dinner's here," Jerry announced as he entered with a half dozen pizza boxes and a bag hanging off his arm.

The kids quickly relieved him of everything and spread it all out on any flat surfaces.

"Here try this it's a meat lover's pizza," Jesse said offering a slice of pizza to Elan.

The polymorphed dragon accepted a slice and took a small bite her eyes widening as she took in the flavor and practically gulped down the rest of it. "This is wonderful!"

"It's pizza," Sharon agreed.

"Try some co*ke," Willow said pressing her a cup.

Elan took a sip and winced. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. It's making my teeth ache. Why do I crave more?" she took another sip.

"Because it's co*ke," Jesse said cheerfully as Willow poured him a cup.

"It's high in sugar and caffeine, like twice as much caffeine as coffee has," Willow explained.

"I do like coffee," Elan said.

"Try this," Xander said, offering her a slice of Hawaiian pizza.

"What is the yellow fruit?" she asked curiously as she took a bite and quickly devoured it as well.

"Pineapple," Xander said.

"Pineapple? But they are rare and expensive," Elan said, unable to stop herself from having another slice.

"Nah, fruit is pretty cheap," Jesse assured her.

"Pineapples are cheap here?" the silver dragon asked incredulously.

"Our science probably blows yours out of the water," Xander said, "it's all humanity has been concentrating on for the last century or two."

"And all the monsters have been hiding in the shadows so humanity has had a lot of free time," Willow added.

"Dude, we should show her TV," Jesse said.

"I could go and get a color TV from the pawn shop," Xander said.

"What's a TV?" Elan asked.

"TV is short for television," Willow explained. "It's… imagine a thousand stages with people putting on plays around the clock to educate and entertain, only instead of having to go there in person you get a box that lets you watch it from home."

"Sounds wondrous," Elan said.

"I'll drive!" Jesse volunteered.

"Still too early," Xander said, "and a TV isn't that heavy."

"Better bring a wagon," Willow said, "people will ask questions if they see you carrying a TV."

"Remember to grab some rabbit ears," Sharon said, "Jerry doesn't have cable."

"Rabbit ears? Cable?" Elan asked.

"I'll explain the electromagnetic spectrum, you guys get the TV," Willow said, turning the white board around.

"I'll go with you guys," Sharon said, "I wanna see what's at the pawn shop."

"I'll help Willow," Amy said.

The three grabbed the wagon they used for moving smaller pieces of wood from behind the shop and headed for the pawn shop.

"It's almost sunset," Jesse noted.

"Still too early to drive," Xander replied as he pulled the wagon.

"I know, but I really need to get more practice," Jesse said.

"Or get someone to teach you," Sharon said, grabbing his hand.

"Doesn't the DMV have driving classes?" Xander asked, not noticing as Jesse and Sharon climbed on the wagon behind him.

"They do, but you gotta be sixteen to take them," Jesse replied, "I've checked."

"So, we gotta find someone who gives private driving classes," Xander said with a shrug. "In the movies they have special classes that bodyguards take, they probably don't care about age just cash."

"I'll have to look into it," Jesse said, with a grin as he and Sharon tried not to laugh at Xander not realizing he was pulling them.

Xander must have heard something in Jesse's tone because he stopped and turned around. Seeing the two standing on the wagon he just shook his head and started walking as they burst out laughing. "It's not that funny."

"Funny enough for me," Jesse said.

It only took a couple more minutes for the three to reach the pawn shop and Jesse and Sharon hopped off the wagon.

"Hey Joe," Xander greeted the man behind the counter as he pulled the wagon into the shop. "I need a nineteen-inch color TV and some rabbit ears."

"And a VCR," Jesse added. "We might as well get one for it."

"We should raid the movie section too," Sharon added. "We don't know what kinda reception we'll get and Elan has never seen any human movies."

"Avoid any ones with dragons in them," Jesse said, "she'd probably find them racist."

"I doubt any of them have silver dragons, but you have a point," Xander agreed.

The kids took about ten minutes loading up the wagon with everything they needed and paying with gold coins, since the only person who had cash on them was Jesse and it was only a couple of bucks.

"I'm surprised he let us buy some of those movies," Sharon said as they headed back to the shop.

"He sold me guns, I don't think a couple of dirty movies compares," Xander replied.

"Looks like lunch is on me," a vampire said with a grin as he stepped out of the mouth of an alley, before he recognized the kids. His game face retracted and his hands trembled as he cleared his throat. "I of course mean I'll spring for blood at Willy's."

His two friends exited the alley, saw the kids, and quickly nodded.

"Great idea, I'll spring for the second round," the woman on the left said.

"We have got to learn how to do that face thing," Jesse said as the three monsters gave nervous waves and hurried down the street, "it'd save us all sorts of time."

"Physically changing or just illusions?" Xander asked curiously.

"Either or," Jesse replied with a shrug.

"Elan could probably teach us," Sharon said, "she fakes being human really well for a thirty-foot lizard."

Xander winced. "Don't use the 'L' word around her, it's insulting; she's descended from divinity."

"Seriously?" Jesse asked.

Xander nodded. "All of her kind are, they just look like huge lizards in their natural forms."

The three vamps shuddered as the 'kids' passed out of their hearing range.

"f*ck, that was close!" Larry said.

"It wouldn't have been if you hadn't said 'that' on stepping out into the street," Moe said with a growl.

Carla shook her head. "Just be glad they don't consider us enough of a threat to even notice."

"If it keeps me out of their crosshairs, I'll be a f*cking mouse! Squeak, squeak," Larry said fervently.

"Hope Willy is running a special," Moe said, "because I feel the need to get plastered!"

"I can't believe how harmless they seem," Carla said.

"Yeah, that's part of why they're so scary," Moe said, "cause you can't tell they are anything but kids."

"I'm following Darla's suggestion," Larry decided, "kids are off the menu."

"Same here," Moe agreed.

"What kinda creature looks like a thirty-foot lizard but is descended from a god and can blend in with the humans?" Carla asked.

"No idea," Moe said. "I'll ask around."

"Willy is pretty good at providing information," Larry said, "I'll slip him an extra twenty while I buy the first round."

"You were serious about that?" Carla asked.

"I am now," Larry said, "the last thing I want is for 'them' to find out I meant anything other than what I said."

"Amen to that," Moe muttered.

Chapter 20

Chapter Text

Roll the Dice Part 3 - By Silverscale

The Market of Ichors were a renowned and infamous place in supernatural circles, a place where anyone could buy almost anyone or anything, the limit being only supply and price. The Market of Ichors were placed within an ancient temple to one of the old and forgotten terrors that once ruled the world. No one remembers their name, thus they are only named The God of Secrets and the Illithids were its heralds and prophets. It was they who carved out this marketplace through the ages unknown, as a secret place no one but their kind could control. It was never at the same place for very long, always moving and twisting, connected only by chance, or the wills of the Illithids, to the surface. It was a sprawling complex, easily the size of a modern city, filled with twisting stairs and tunnels, vast open spaces, forests of underground vegetation and fungi, and walls of crystals with a constant stream of beings seeking to purchase things from its dark stores and stalls. It was a heavily controlled and eerie place, where violence didn't exist, for the Illithid and their thralls would tear apart anyone foolish enough to disturb the peace.

Or, so it was… until today.

It began by the main entrance to the market, a massive undulating door that looked like it was made out of fleshy tendrils the color of stone. The two Illithids standing guard by the entrance used four brainless hulking brutes as their muscle. Each brute looked like someone had combined a gorilla with a troll, thick leathery skin, crooked noses, uneven teeth and dirty, weed like hair and fur growing off their bodies.

These were Scandinavian rock trolls, otherwise known as Norse Trolls, whose only weakness were their absurd stupidity and lethal weakness to sunlight. They were among the strongest, toughest, and largest of all trolls and giants. The largest of these trolls to ever be recorded had been over five hundred feet in height. They were as diverse as they were ugly, some of them possessing supernatural abilities that could range from simple night vision and regeneration, to instinctive magical powers similar to those of the most learned shaman and witch doctors. Their numbers were rare, what with the Scandinavian Institute for Troll Hunters, SITH, making sure they were never in large numbers.

Yeah, the founders of the group were all Star Wars fans.

Thus the Nordic trolls were valuable as muscle, for while they could not transform into smaller humanoids unless they had those abilities from birth, someone could cast such magics on them, making them excellent bodyguards and servants for the most demanding of beings, as all they required were food, drink and dark moist holes to sleep in.

The one to the left sniffed the air suddenly before turning to look at the doorway. Sniffing with a curious look on its face. "Zomefin komin… zmell like phire… ash… lizzard?"

There was a loud resounding clang as the doorway suddenly shuddered. Something had just tapped the doorway, not unlike a very heavy knock, albeit one measured in hundreds of pounds of force. The two Illithids quickly responded sending out psychic commands to the two trolls, who just gripped their long spiked clubs, ready to thagomize whatever came through. The massive door began to shudder and quake, and the two Illithids stared in horror, as the flesh like structures making up the door began to pull apart, as if given the mental password to open, which should be impossible; only those approved by the Elder Brains should know how to enter and they had yet to sense any psychic presence behind the portal.

Then, as the final fleshy tendril bared the entrance and the trolls reared their arms back, there suddenly came a massive wave of psionic energy that slammed out of the doorway and straight into the trolls and the two Illithids, the sheer might of the wave enough to shred their bodies like paper.

Stepping past the massive doorway was Tch'lech, dressed in a finely made leather coat, with an intricately carved bone necklace, his telepathic voice echoing out over the underground city slash market in a mocking tone, "Knock. Knock."

"I have to admit, that was an amusing entrance," said a feminine voice from behind him as the elven shape of Elan glided in after the Illithid. She was currently dressed in a blue blouse with a green jacket, a pair of white jeans, and a set of blue sneakers on her feet, as if she was a typical American teen.

"I know, right? I have always wanted to do that, especially to these stuck up schmucks," Tch'lech sent with a warm and happy telepathic voice to the dragoness in disguise.

Elan just chuckled and shook her head. "I see. Well we better get moving if we want to find what we are looking for. You said the most likely place to have what we are looking for is in the central plaza?"

The Elder Brain nodded and the two began to walk towards the twisting underground city, ignoring the alarms ringing out over the caverns. "Indeed, that book of yours is most likely in the slave market, since most such books are kept by the highest standing merchants and Illithids in the city, which all have their homes and shops in the plaza and what I am looking for should be there as well, unless someone bought, stole, or threw it away."

"Wonderful. Thank you once more for helping me Tch'lech," Elan said with a short nod to the Illithid, who chuckled a bit abashed, whilst twirling one of his tentacles with the index claw on his left hand.

"No need to thank me. Now, let me handle the rabble charging towards us. No need to get your hands dirty in this disgusting place." He raised the hand he wasn't twirling a tentacle with, and a charging horde of thralls of various species, were tossed aside like rag dolls, their bodies broken or smeared across the streets and buildings around them as if they'd just fallen from a great height.

He gave a small bow to the clear path towards the center of the city and spoke in an exaggerated British gentleman's voice, "After you milady?"

Elan just giggle and gave him a short bow in return before walking down the path, while Tch'lech walked alongside her, even as an army of Illithids and thralls began to gather to confront and destroy the two invaders.

Four Hours Later

"Aha! Here they are! I knew I saw these a month ago!" Tch'lech said proudly as he held up the wares he had been looking for, a set of engraving tools and a large sack containing some very odd iron.

"All this trouble just so you could get hold on a set of runic engraving tools and a pile of old iron?" the woman asked the recently ascended Elder Brain.

"Runic engraving tools are hard to find nowadays, not to mention the older they are the more power the runes they inscribe can produce. The iron is also a rare kind of metal, fay touched iron, only found in certain hard to reach places in the Fairy Realms and one of the main ingredients for making a certain type of holy swords," Tch'lech sent with a telepathic grin to the disguised dragoness.

"That is all and good but… well might be pointless to ask now… but why the cruelty? You weren't this upset for the first half a candle we were fighting." She looked over at a pile of impaled corpses hanging from various spikes and poles sticking out of the sides of the buildings around them. Some of the impaled, while alive, were impaled in very uncomfortable places.

"Well you can't really blame me getting my own back at these splarghs after all the years of mistreatment I've suffered at their hands. I highly doubt even a single one of your majestic kin would approve of being treated as I was since birth for merely being… different."

She was about to respond to his thoughts but paused and considered it before finally lowering the hand she had been about to raise. She could not deny that not a single one of her kind would approve of being treated like a lesser being for being born with what others would call a defect. "I guess I cannot argue with that, though it still seems a bit excessive," Elan stated as she looked around the burning city sized market. One of the statues had been used as a cudgel to crush hundreds of Illithids, thralls, and buyers into paste.

"If you consider dead slavers, torturers, killers, assassins and soul eaters excessive," Tch'lech stated with a shrug.

The disguised dragon looked at him with curious eyes.

He pointed at the sign above the marketplace. "This is the market's slave district, it is the heart of this entire place, and comprises more than fifty percent of all trade in this sh*thole, it focuses entirely on the sale and buying of slaves and souls, it is also the biggest trade hub for living sacrifices and victims for rich sociopaths. Anyone who comes here to sell or buy are not going to be a kind person and those who seek to free anyone here are often captured and sold as slaves themselves, as a form of ironic punishment. The Elder Council enjoy sacrificing living beings to their so-called God of Secrets and devour the brains of their victims while they are still alive."

"Alright I get it, these are bad people." Elan sighed and shook her head as the duo walked down the street.

A troll suddenly burst out of a doorway to attack them, only for Elan to punch its chest, causing its upper body to rupture like a balloon filled with blood.

Tch'lech casually deflected the rain of blood to keep it from staining their clothes. "Indeed. But do not worry, I have made certain to avoid harming anyone who bears even a trace of innocence in this place and I have freed those who could be saved, so they may escape. Of course I made sure to erase their memories of this place, so they wouldn't end up committed to mental asylums when they tried to report what they had been through," Tch'lech sent as they strolled past a set of columns, each column having a row of fifty armored Illithids nailed by their own skulls into the stone.

"Well that is something I guess," she said as she looked at the gore stained streets in front of them, crushed and mangled corpses painting the streets and walls crimson, while former slaves scampering over the crushed bodies of their former owners, seeking to reach the exit of the massive cavern. "I suppose it was an understandable and even laudable action on your part when taken in that light."

"We didn't find what you were looking for, so I hope at least imparting a bit of good fortune to others will have improved your mood," Tch'lech said his telepathic message to her containing a bit of warmth and undertones of hope

Elan shot him a surprised glance but then caught sight of a former slave, a human woman, carrying her infant son over a sea of corpses towards freedom and she smiled a little, enjoying the knowledge that mother and child were free from the hell they had endured. "You're not wrong, Tch'lech."

Silence ensued as they walked down the street, Tch'lech utilizing his telekinetic powers to push aside blood and gore as to not stain their shoes. After they exited the viscera soaked road they came upon another market, where Illithids and thralls were gathered behind barricades and inside buildings, prepared for an assault.

As the duo walked towards the building Tch'lech rubbed his neck a little before slowly asking the dragoness something to help break the silence while he gathered his courage, "Sooooo… how are things with you?"

"So far it is good, even if we did not find the book I was searching for, it was it still a fun and eventful trip," Elan stated with a small smile to the Illithid.

"Good, good. Sooo… I'd be glad to help you look for your book again. I have heard about another magic marketplace in Louisiana. We could go… Say… next Thursday?"

There was a short moment of silence as the dragoness pondered the question. "That would be grand. You know far more of this world then I do and I am certain you will be of great aid in my search."

Tch'lech looked slightly flustered. Well, as flustered as a purple skinned octopus headed man could, as he nodded. "Great! I will pick you up at the spice shop around five pm?"

The silver dragon was slightly surprised by his eagerness, and even got slightly flustered by it herself, but smiled at him and nodded, hoping he hadn't notice the slight blush she was sporting.

If the Illithird had lips, his would have been grinning wide enough to swallow a watermelon. "Excellent! Let us just get out of this dump for now. I have to deliver these items to the spice shop before six pm and I do not want to be late." Tch'lech raised one of his hands, his psionic powers causing the four-story building in front of them to rise off its foundation. There was a brief moment of panicked screams before the structure was tossed aside and tumbled down into the bottomless abyss that the City of Ichors was built over.

The duo walked over the pathway leading towards the exit, leaving the broken and burning city behind.

Tch'lech was ecstatic, he had met a fascinating woman, who was not even slightly bothered that he was an Illithid, who held a wealth of knowledge and enjoyed research and arcane tinkering, like he had grown to enjoy ever since meeting his benefactors in the spice shop.

Elan was feeling rather bubbly, she had met an intriguing man who was willing to help her find a rare book she had learned about from the children in the spice shop, even if he was an Illithid she found his polite and honest personality rather refreshing, not to mention she was curious to see just how things would develop between them, as she rather enjoyed his company and the moral debates they were having were rather enjoyable as well.

To the world around them, they looked like a pair of shy and awkward Lovecraftian horrors, one of whom was badly disguised, planning their second date.

Chapter 21

Chapter Text

"Hey Lucy, we're home!" Jesse called out as they entered the shop, holding open the door so Xander could pull in the wagon.

"And we've picked up some movies," Sharon added.

Amy poked her head out of the warehouse. "Good, cause Willow has about blown Elan's brain out and she could use the break."

"I doubt it's that bad," Xander said.

"No it really is," Amy assured him, "Elan knows a little science, but it's really old and there's a lot of it that's wrong. Willow has been correcting a lot of stuff using the board to explain it and she's looking frazzled."

"Best get in there and distract her," Jesse ordered Xander, "I'll set up the TV."

"Alright," Xander agreed, knowing it was his job to calm down Willow when she got too excited and let go of the wagon.

"-is a vacuum because there isn't any gravity to hold the atmosphere in," Willow explained to Elan excitedly, before Xander swept her up and sat her down with her in his lap.

"Hey!" Willow complained and was interrupted with a kiss.

"Thank god," Amy said, filling a cup with co*ke and handing it to Elan. "Here, drink this."

The silver dragon downed the co*ke and let out a tremendous burp. "Beg pardon," she said, embarrassed as she recovered.

"Willow takes a little getting used to," Sharon offered, "but she's a great friend."

"Are you sure she's not a goddess of wisdom in disguise?" Elan asked seriously.

Xander tickled Willow making her giggle as she halfheartedly tried to fight him off.

"Willow is the smartest of us," Sharon said, "though Amy isn't far behind."

"Pretty sure I'm way behind," Amy argued, "at least in some things."

Sharon shrugged. "Your grades are just behind hers."

"Xander gets better grades than I do," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but Willow bribes him to study so it doesn't count," Jesse replied, gesturing to where the two were cuddling with Xander running his fingers through Willow's hair.

"Good, it keeps her from focusing on us," Sharon said.

"What movie should we watch first?" Jesse asked as he connected the VCR.

"What do we got?" Amy asked as she poked through the collection of movies.

"Sci-fi, fantasy, or horror?" he offered.

"Fantasy to start," Sharon suggested, "we're just showing her how it works."

"Conan the Destroyer it is," Jesse said cheerfully and slid the tape in the VCR.

After the movie

"That was better than the best play I have ever witnessed," Elan said, "and I can see why my cousin was so taken with the human barbarian she's seeing. Did those events really occur?"

"Not as far as we know," Jesse replied, "but it's a big universe so I'm sure something similar happened somewhere."

"Is this why you all know so much," Elan asked, "because you have watched many such movies?"

"Partially," Jesse agreed. "We use it for entertainment, but they always make sure to sneak in a little knowledge here and there."

"Do you have any Bill Nye?" Willow asked hopefully.

"Nope," Xander replied, "pawn shops aren't big on educational videos."

"Too bad," Willow said.

"Your people are so advanced I feel like a hatchling," Elan said as she looked around the warehouse at the various devices and the wardrobes the children had constructed.

"Our world is probably older than yours," Willow said, "and it's not like you don't have time to learn all of this, dragons live for a long, long time."

"You'll share your people's knowledge with me?" Elan asked in surprise.

"Why not, you've shared your knowledge of portals," Xander said, holding Willow in his lap.

"Once we have the hub set up we can build a library," Willow said excitedly.

"Hub?" Elan asked having heard them mentioned it before, but not quite sure what they meant by it.

"We have a lot of empty worlds we've built portals to," Jesse explained, "and we're planning to build a castle or something to place all the portals in to work out of so we wouldn't be taking up all the room in here."

"Empty worlds?" Elan asked curiously, all the worlds they had shown her were filled with life so they were hardly empty in her opinion.

"Worlds without people, just plants and animals," Sharon explained.

"That's wealth beyond compare," Elan said in awe. Seeing the confused looks on the children's faces she explained, "A world without people is a world where you can mine for gold, hunt to your heart's content, or raise an enormous family in peace, secure in the knowledge that you won't come into conflict with other races."

"An entire planet worth of resources," Willow said, "and many centuries to spread out without running out of room."

"We kinda overlooked that since we're hunting for a specific magical land," Xander admitted, rethinking the worth of all their 'failed' portals. He'd known they were useful and all, but looking at it now… wow!

"Cool," Sharon said with a grin, "I always wanted to be rich and have a lot of land."

"Island in the Bahamas," Jesse said, "no big predators, plenty of beach."

"So, where are we going to place the hub?" Amy asked curiously.

"Tropical areas have huge storms," Willow said, "so the Larder is still the best place for it."

"Hurricanes are a pain, but if we're building out of stone, houses will come through much better than the wood and glass ones everyone uses right now," Sharon pointed out.

"Yeah, the igloo design should make it easy to ride out a storm," Xander agreed. "Of course before we make a hub we have to figure out how to link wardrobes."

"Free standing portals are supposed to be much harder to create than linked ones," Elan offered.

"The anchor rune!" Willow exclaimed, leaping off of Xander's lap and running to the white board.

"She is scary good at coming up with stuff," Jesse said cheerfully.

"So, since you like empty worlds and are helping us, would you like one?" Xander asked Elan.

"You'd give me a world?" Elan asked in shock, stunned by the offer.

"Of course," Xander said. "It's not like we need a lot of them or anything and no one's using them."

"Don't we need the big circle to tune in?" Sharon asked. "Since we used human blood on it it'll be occupied."

"I have a spare big circle," Xander told her, "and it's not bloodied yet."

"I'll order us a gallon of cow blood," Jesse said, hopping to his feet.

"We have more than enough candles left," Sharon said.

"Then all we have to do is make the wardrobe," Xander said with a smile, eager to get to work.

"Elan is probably going to want a big one, something sturdy," Amy pointed out.

"I'll make it out of redwood," Xander decided. "In fact, I'll make two identical ones for when Willow figures out how to connect them."

"So half an hour?" Sharon joked.

Xander glanced over where Willow was working on the board. "Maybe," he said seriously.

"Let's watch another movie," Amy said, digging through the pile. "Bladerunner!"

After the movie

After the movie had ended Elan turned to the children. "Is that what the future is going to be like?"

"No idea," Willow said, having been lured away from the whiteboard by the movie, "but probably not, since we know to avoid the mistakes they made."

"Yeah, Sci-Fi movies are just what people imagine the future is going to be like and how things can go wrong," Amy added.

"A morality tale," Elan decided.

"Pretty much," Willow agreed. "Movies have to show exciting things or no one would watch them, so people have to screw up for the plot to happen, but you want the hero to be someone the viewer can empathize with and agree with, so it has to be a good moral to go with it."

"Mostly," Jesse agreed, "we also have cartoons and p*rn."

Willow groaned.

"And those are?" Elan asked.

"Cartoons are just colorful things to keep you busy and pass the time," Sharon said, "though they have been getting better, so really it's only the older ones that are meaningless."

"And p*rn is just films of people having sex, no plot needed," Jesse said cheerfully.

"Kids don't get to watch p*rn, it's for adults," Xander said.

"And pretty repetitive and boring anyway," Jesse admitted. "You can watch a movie with a good plot over and over, but p*rn is pretty boring after the first time."

"I think we have some cartoons," Amy said quickly digging through the tapes. "Merry Melodies Medley," she announced, swapping the tapes.

"You better not have bought any p*rn," Willow said firmly.

"We didn't," Xander assured her, giving his girlfriend a squeeze.

"Cartoon's starting," Amy announced to get them to be quiet.

After the cartoon

"That was incredibly violent," Elan said, "colorful and with amazing music, but violent. The adults prefer you watching that to copulation?"

"I don't get it either," Xander admitted with a shrug, "it's probably something we'll understand when we're older."

"I don't know," Jesse said, "a lot of stuff they tell me I'll understand when I'm older still sounds stupid to me."

"Then you just aren't old enough yet," Willow said.

"Yeah, well… How about now?" he asked with a grin. "And now?"

Willow rolled her eyes and refused to respond.

"So, can we make a hub with connecting wardrobes?" Xander asked.

"I'll need to check some things," Willow said, "cause it looks really simple, much simpler than our second circle and not really much more complex than our first one."

"And you're sure she's not a goddess of wisdom?" Elan asked quietly.

"Mostly," Sharon said cheerfully.

"It's getting a bit late," Xander said, "do you want to stay over or should we meet up with you tomorrow?"

Elan considered the matter for a moment. "I have some things to do at home and it's probably going to take me a few days to get a hold of the books I need. The adventurers I sent after them should be back sometime in the next week and I need to be there to meet them."

"I need to go over everything we've done anyway," Willow said waving it off.

"We were planning on building a beach house on the island so the Boys should have to portal open for most of next week," Xander said. "Just drop by when you can."

"I shall," Elan said with a smile as she stepped over to the wardrobe. "I'll see you sometime in the next ten days. Fare thee well."

"Bye!" The group called out as she vanished into the wardrobe just as a figure in a trench coat came in and ducked down one of the aisles.

"You know for someone descended from divinity, she's pretty down to Earth," Jesse said.

"Told you, silver is the best," Xander said smugly.

"I really should read up on everything about her world if we're going to be visiting it a lot," Jesse said thoughtfully.

"All the books are at my house," Willow said brightly.

"Game on?" Sharon asked hopefully.

"Game on," Willow agreed. "I'm going to send you all against a bunch of dragons this time."

"Fine, but Jesse is going to walk in front of me this time," Xander said, "last time he stuck a dagger in my back."

"The look on your face was priceless!" Jesse said with a laugh.

"Not as priceless as the look on yours when it snapped," Amy reminded him.

"I know," Jesse said with a sigh. "That's the last time I buy a dagger from a Duke of Hell."

"I still say it was a con artist pretending to be a Duke of Hell," Sharon argued as Jesse started putting everything away and cleaning up the mess they'd made. "You only paid two souls, a real Duke would have charged a lot more than that."

"Maybe," Jesse said. "Anyway, I only stabbed him cause he was getting bored."

"You stabbed me with a soul stealing dagger because you thought I was getting bored?" Xander asked in disbelief.

"Dude, you'd just sliced a troll in half, perfect cut from right hip to left shoulder, and all you did was yawn," Jesse pointed out.

"Huh," Xander said thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess I was getting a little bored. Thanks!"

"No problem," Jesse said with a smile.

"Boys," Willow groaned, rolling her eyes.

"Without a little risk it's not as much fun," Xander said, poking Willow in the side.

"Alright," Willow said with a sigh, "I was planning to save it for our next campaign… but how would you feel about hunting down a demigod?"

The four other children perked up.

"Now we're talkin!" Jesse exclaimed. "Hercules?"

"No, one of Zeus' other children," Willow said. "You do know that not every one of his kids is famous, right?"

"Plus I like Herc," Xander said, thinking of the latest episode of Hercules the Legendary Journeys they'd seen a couple of days ago.

"Fine, no offing Hercules," Jesse said.

"Well, let's go," Amy said, "if I know how things are going to go, and I do from hanging out with you guys, it's going to take at least a couple of weeks to track down the target as you get distracted by every shiny object along the way before we even get to the fight."

"Which will probably last a couple of days," Sharon added.

"Demigods are tough," Jesse said defensively, "they aren't like gods who all have some specific weakness, so you have to hit them more before they go down."

"Thankfully they also don't hit as hard," Xander said as they left.

The demon waited until the children had left before coming out from the shelves with his order. He'd ignored all the talk about how dangerous these… children were, but he could hear the sincerity in their voices as they talked about hunting gods and their spawn. If anything, the rumors were understating the danger. He shuddered and quickly hurried to make his purchase.

Another Omake by: RUGoing2writethat

Xander and Jesse had just finished yet another cabinet. Willow had used their previous attempts to plot some new coordinates. This time, she was sure she had the right settings for Narnia.

And after finishing the chanting… they opened the cabinet to yet another world that was not Narnia.

"Mr. Data, explain to me why there is a… thing, floating in midair, in the middle of my bridge with children looking through it!" demanded Captain Picard.

Data took out his tricorder and walked around and around the floating 'hole' in the middle of the bridge. The children were staring out at them while he scanned the thing. "Captain, I believe this to be some sort of dimensional rift. We're looking into another reality," said Data.

"Hah, I told you we needed to work on out aim when we build these things," Jesse told Xander.

"Such advanced technology that their children are able to build a portal to another reality?" remarked Riker looking stunned.

"Captain, I suggest we invite them to come through. I sense great excitement from them, but also some apprehension. I think they want to meet us, but aren't sure they will be welcomed," Troi explained.

The Captain rubbed his chin in thought. On the one hand they were explorers, seeking out new life, on the other he didn't do well with children. "Oh, very well," conceded the Captain. He stood up and approached the hole. "I cordially invite you children to come through and visit with us."

Willow squee'd and she jumped from the hole as she literally tried to look at every single place on the bridge at once. The rest of the children followed at a more sedate pace. Jesse and Xander climbed out last to see Willow poke Data and say, "I can't believe you're actually real. Wow!"

Deanna stood up. "How about we make our way to the conference room. I'll see to some refreshments," she said, sensing the Captain's annoyance starting to grow. The children followed her and Riker to the Conference Room. One by one the bridge officers filed into the room to find Willow and Xander quietly whispering among themselves.

"Captain, can we have two 3 foot long solid steel poles?" requested Xander.

"Why would you want two 3 foot long sold steel poles?" asked Worf suspiciously.

"Well, we need to show you something," Xander replied.

The Captain sent LaForge to get the poles after contacting the fabrication shops to make them. When LaForge returned, Xander handed a pole to Data and asked him to bend it. Data bent it easily. Xander then asked him to bend it back and Data bent it back easily.

Xander then picked up the untouched pole, bent it like a pretzel and then bent it back again. "I wanted to show you that we're stronger than humans because we're not your average human beings. That being said, we come from a world where this reality is a fictional TV series."

Picard glanced at Troi who nodded to signal that the children were being honest.

"It is theoretically possible," Riker offered, unsure how the strength of the children related to the fact.

They spent many hours talking. They refused to give them any technology, but Willow managed to sneak a peek at some schematics and take a picture of them with a camera she'd had the foresight to bring. Riker caught her, and exposed the film to light, rendering it blank. After that, it was agreed that the children should go home.

But, no one caught Amy doing the exact same thing; the fact that she was wearing an amulet that made people ignore her was probably what allowed her to get pictures of several schematics and bring them back with her. Now Willow would spend hours pouring over the pictures, trying to learn how to build 20th century equivalents. After all, she couldn't just build 24th century technology because then no one would advance and make themselves better. She'd build the 20th century equivalent and slowly improve the technology, launching improvements every 2 to 5 years.

They would be rich!

Chapter 22

Chapter Text

"That's a door," Jesse said as he stared at Xander's latest creation where it rested inside a new circle, one that seemed simpler than even their first one. "Really wide, but just a door."

"It's more than just a door," Xander said, rolling his eyes, "it's a pair of doors on a frame, each attached to a box just deep enough to fit the doorknob on the other side."

Jesse looked at Xander and then back to his bizarre creations sitting in the middle of the latest circle. The girls all giggled and he sighed. "Alright, I'll bite."

Xander grinned waiting for him to ask when Jesse grabbed his hand and bit him… hard.

The girls outright laughed and Xander yelled and swung his arm around, Jesse firmly affixed by his teeth. "I'll talk, I'll talk!"

Jesse went flying as he released his death grip on Xander's hand, thumping into the side of the wall about eight feet up and falling to the floor before springing to his feet with a grin, completely unharmed.

"Dude, not cool," Xander told him.

"But extremely funny," Jesse argued. "Stole it from Tom and Jerry."

Xander considered it for a moment before nodding. "Fair enough."

"Good, now what IKEA forsaken creation is that?" Jesse asked, pointing at the pair of doors.

"They're connecting doors that can be closed and will fit through the wardrobes or opened to pass wardrobes through," Xander explained.

"That's why they're so wide but thin," Jesse realized. "Do they really work?"

"Just need to enchant them," Xander said.

"We haven't tested them yet," Willow pointed out, "cause you weren't here to help."

"Willow did all the bookwork on them," Xander said confidently.

"Cool," Jesse said. "We can put them in all our houses, so we don't have to catch rides or walk anymore."

"We haven't tested it yet," Willow repeated. "It may not work."

"Xander did the carving and you did the brain work," Jesse said with a grin, "it'll work."

"That's what we said," Sharon told him.

Willow smiled and quickly set up the candles to hide her blush while Xander grabbed the paint tray filled with blood and a couple of paint brushes, passing one to Jesse.

It only took them a little over a minute to paint the runes and fill the circle with blood.

"Okay, boy girl order at each point of the compass," Willow ordered as she stepped into the circle and placed a hand on both the doors.

"Where's our music sheets?" Sharon asked.

"I just need you guys to chant something at the same time," Willow replied, "Doesn't matter what it is, as long as you're all doing it at once."

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat?" Amy suggested.

"That works," Willow agreed. "Okay, take your places, light your candles, and start chanting!"

The kids looked at each other and grinned before starting to sing, stumbling over one another's voices until they caught the rhythm and sang in chorus, "Row, row, row your boat!" while lighting their candles.

Willow nodded and closed her eyes as she began her own chant which was more of a liquid sound, rather than the guttural rasp she usually used when doing magic.

In just under a minute a bright flash of light caused all the kids to yelp and stop chanting as they rubbed their eyes.

"Did it work?" Sharon asked. "Cause I didn't feel the normal heaviness."

"I'll let you know when I can see again," Willow said tiredly.

"Next time we wear sunglasses," Jesse ordered, blinking spots from his eyes.

"I can kinda see again," Xander said, squinting as he looked around. "I think it worked, or at least the blood is frozen anyway."

"This wasn't as tiring as it usually is," Amy noted.

"Speak for yourself, I'm wiped," Willow said, lying on the floor, feeling completely rung out.

"You're the heavy lifter on these things," Jesse said, "plus I don't think we helped all that much. We must have gotten something wrong."

"Yeah, doesn't feel like we did much," Xander agreed, checking on his girlfriend to make sure she was alright and taking a seat next to her so he could pull her into his lap.

"So… since I missed everything or at least the planning bits, busy with the rents, what's the what?" Jesse asked.

"Thanks to Elan telling us about anchor runes and the timing aspect, I figured out how to link things together," Willow explained, cuddled in Xander's arms. "Well, if it worked anyway."

"I made them to fit through the wardrobes," Xander added, "so we can move everything to the lodge."

"Is there going to be enough room?" Jesse asked.

"We're going to move all the completed stuff to the lodge," Xander corrected himself, "and just build stuff here."

"We're going to make connecting doors for everyone that we can put in our rooms that lead to the lodge," Willow said, "that way we don't have to worry about getting in trouble for walking around at night and we can visit each other easier."

"Is the lodge even done yet?" Jesse asked.

"The boys finished it this morning," Xander said, "the cement had all set up yesterday and they only needed to put in the doors and hook up the plumbing this morning."

"Plumbing?" Jesse asked. "How does that even work?"

"Upside down Fishbowl container mounted inside the water tank and the drain feeds into the Desert," Xander replied. "We don't have hot water, but the bathroom sink and toilet works."

"No kitchen or shower?" Jesse joked.

"Nah, it's all modular, so I ordered the one that's one large multipurpose room with fireplace and bathroom," Xander explained.

"Bathrooms have showers," Jesse pointed out.

"Not this one," Xander said, "it's only got a toilet and sink."

"Electricity?" Jesse asked.

"No electricity," Xander said. "I set a couple of Desert boxes up for heat and light. If you want electricity, you'll have to run an extension cord from your house or something."

"Put a door in my closet and we can run it through there without my parents noticing," Jesse said.

"Sharon lives the furthest from the rest of us, she should get the first door," Willow said, "then Amy and then us, since we practically live together."

"Thanks!" Sharon said with a bright smile.

"Someone check the doors to make sure they work," Willow said, curled in Xander's lap and not planning to move anytime soon, Xander gently stroking her hair.

"Sure," Jesse agreed, grabbing one of the doors while the girls got the other one and setting them both against the wall.

Amy opened the door, revealing another door inside it and knocked on it, the sound coming from the other door.

"Who's there?" Jesse automatically replied.

"Just open it," Amy ordered him while the rest of the children giggled.

Jesse shrugged and opened the door, finding Amy on the other side. "We've already got an Amy," Jesse said, "but I wouldn't mind another." He pulled her through the doorway with a grin.

"Door works," Sharon said, "just like we figured."

"Good," Willow said, closing her eyes and leaning into Xander's chest.

"Well, let's get things set up," Jesse said, closing both doors. "Open the Lodge and I'll carry it through."

"If we made sliding doors on these we could mount them under our beds and climb through that way," Sharon said as Amy helped Jesse move the door.

"Dude, this is huge!" Jesse called back from inside the Lodge.

"Sliding doors would be a pain," Xander said, "but I could manage a small door you could hide under your bed."

"One in the back of the closet is good enough," Sharon said with a shrug before following the two into the Lodge.

"I haven't seen our hub yet," Willow said, "but I'm too tired to move. Carry me?"

"As you wish," Xander said, giving her a kiss on the forehead before standing up with her in a princess carry.

Willow blushed and buried her face in his shoulder as he carried her through the large wardrobe into their lodge which was dimly lit by the light leaking through the wardrobe.

"If you'd waited a second you could have used the door," Jesse pointed out as he set it against a wall and opened it, revealing the warehouse and making it easier to see.

"It's very round," Jesse said.

"Just like an igloo," Amy agreed.

"It's the strongest design," Xander replied, turning so Willow could see everything. "Fifteen foot ceiling in the center, thirty foot circle type room with two doors at either end, one to the bathroom and one to outside."

"And a nice big fireplace with a real bearskin rug in front of it," Willow said with a smile.

Sharon opened one of the doors revealing a short hallway that was almost pitch black. "Why's it got a hall?"

"So they could connect to other domes," Xander said, "it's all modular."

"Is the bathroom this size?" Jesse asked, gesturing around the room.

"Nah, seven foot ceiling, fourteen feet wide," Xander said.

"That's a big bathroom," Jesse said.

"It has room for a bunch of stuff we didn't order, cause we couldn't afford it at the time," Xander explained. "They've got kits for bathtubs and showers and everything."

"It's a bit chilly and dark," Amy complained.

"That's what the Desert trunks are for," Xander said, "just put one in the center of the room and it'll provide heat and light."

"I like it," Jesse decided.

"It's all ours," Xander said proudly, "the entire world! Well, the bits the bears haven't claimed anyway."

Willow giggled. "I think the boys will take care of that little problem."

"We need shelves, lots of shelves," Jesse said. "I can hide my playboy collection here so Mom won't find it!"

"Four magazines is hardly a collection," Xander teased.

"It'd be ten times that size if she didn't keep finding them," Jesse complained. "I have no idea why she is so against me looking at boobies. I'm a boy, I'm supposed to like them!"

"It's a mystery," Willow said dryly.

"I know," Jesse exclaimed, shaking his head while Amy and Sharon giggled.

"We'll need shelves for all the stuff we don't want other people to find anyway," Xander said, "like big leather-bound tomes for instance."

"Yeah, I think my parents might get upset if they find out I've discovered magic ahead of time," Willow admitted.

"A set of shelves for magic, a set for boobies," Jesse agreed.

"Joy," Willow said, rolling her eyes.

"Also need one for carpentry and metal smithing," Xander said, "properly labeled so we don't get them confused."

"Yeah, Miss September's turn ons aren't likely to help you build a dresser," Sharon agreed.

"I don't know," Jesse began with a grin.

"If you make a wood pun I'll bite you!" Willow threatened.

"And on that note I'll go get the trunk so we've got some decent light in this place and we can start moving things in," Jesse said quickly.

"Are you going to put Willow down anytime soon?" Amy asked Xander.

"Nope," Xander replied.

"I wonder how long we could get Jesse to carry us around," Sharon said thoughtfully.

"Both at once would be too awkward," Amy said, "we'll have to take turns."

"We need a bed in here," Willow told Xander.

"Gonna have to be a big one," Xander said.

"Or two of them," Amy suggested.

"Nah," Sharon disagreed, "it's more fun when we're all together."

"I can make one this weekend," Xander said, "I just need to find the right design."

"Something we can jump on," Amy said.

"We're going to need to buy mattresses and blankets and everything," Sharon pointed out.

Jesse stepped through the door carrying a wooden chest and set it in the center of the room before opening it, flooding the place with light and heat. "We're going to need one of these for the bathroom too."

"And soap and towels and toilet paper," Willow listed off.

"And a TV stand," Jesse said with a grin. "If we make a tiny door, just big enough for a wall plug, we can stick it over one rather than run an extension cord."

"That's a good idea," Willow agreed.

"So are we going to move the wardrobe to here in here?" Amy asked.

"I'll put it in my room," Xander said, "that way I can wait till last to get a door here."

"Sounds good," Jesse agreed, "we can use it to get here until we start making our own doors."

"I'll still have to catch a ride with my Mom," Amy said.

"Yours will be the door we make after Sharon's," Willow reminded her.

"And that's going to be limited to one set of doors every other day," Xander said firmly, "cause they really take it out of you."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," Willow agreed, snuggling into his chest.

"We'll set things up, you two just keep standing there," Jesse said with a grin, wondering how long Xander was going to carry Willow around.

After the three had left, Willow sighed. "One day we won't have to go back home and we can just live here," she said wistfully.

"College first," Xander said, "or at least high school."

"Yeah," Willow agreed cheerfully, as Amy and Jesse carried a wardrobe through the door.

NobodyAtAll Omake - Fronds and Enemies

"How was your lunch?" asked Willow as Linda lead the Boys out of the Lodge, licking blood from her face with a surprisingly long tongue.

"Mmm, bear," said Linda with a wide smile, "I love bear. And there's no shortage of them out there. I love this job."

"It's going to take a while to clear them out from around our shelter, huh?"

"Years," said Greg, blood dripping from his satisfied grin.

"Darn it," said Jesse, "If we can't clear out the bears by Christmas break, we won't be able to show it off. Hey! Maybe we could set fire to the forest. That would clear them out!"

"Jesse, no-one is going to be impressed by a soot-blackened shelter in the middle of a dead forest."

"But it would be so metal!" complained Xander.

"It's a shame, really. It could almost be a step in the right direction," mused Amy, "getting rid of the bears makes more prey come to the area, pulling in more bears. Getting rid of everything and starting again from scratch-"

"I've got it!" shouted Willow, and ran from the workshop, pausing only to grab some money from the kids' shoebox.

"Huh?" said Sharon.

"No idea," shrugged Amy, "Let's see what she comes back with."

Willow looked triumphant when she returned with a bulging shopping bag.

"It's obvious," she said before anyone could ask, "We want a clean slate. A world with plants but no animals to start with, and we just introduce the ones we want to keep."

"How do we make a wardrobe going to a world like that?" asked Sharon, "All the ones we've made so far have had animals, except maybe the Desert."

"No, I saw a lizard there yesterday," said Jesse, "when I was checking on my goop. It was checking out my goop too. I think it was hungry."

"You saw a lizard and didn't show me?" said Amy, her eyes brimming with disappointment.

"Sorry," apologized Jesse, "I went after it, but it ran away. I didn't want to chase in case I lost sight of the portal."

"Aww, that's okay," said Amy, giving her sensible boyfriend a forgiving hug.

"So, that proves it," said Willow proudly, "Every wardrobe with runes made with animal blood has animals. Human blood leads to humans. So to find a world with just plants, we need to use…"

Everyone stared at her, waiting for the big reveal.

Willow sighed, "The blood of trees!" and pulled a gallon jug of maple syrup from her bag.

"Ohhh!" chorused her friends.

"Ewww, you're both all sticky."

"At least they got the runes well covered with syrup."

"Along with everything else in the room."

"True. Come on, let's dunk 'em in the waterfall to wash them off."

"Good plan."

The boys ran laughing, chased by the girls.

Willow had the honour of opening this door this time. They'd pointed the simple inner circle to the South, and the outer circle to the East. The chant had been almost too easy.

"Yes!" she exclaimed after peering in, "It worked! I dub this wardrobe 'The Plantrobe'!"

She confidently marched into the jungle that was waiting for them, closely followed by the rest of the gang.

"Wow!" said Sharon, looking at the strange and colourful plants all around them.

"Wow feels about right," said Xander walking backwards as he took in the world.

"Uh, guys," said Willow, suddenly a little worried.

"Huh," said Xander as a drooping vine seemed to twitch as it brushed against his arm.

"Guys!" shouted Willow.

Everyone stopped moving and looked towards her. The vine twitched again.

"Look around," said Willow, "I think a lot of these plants might be-"

The hanging vine, taking advantage of Xander's stillness, wrapped itself around Xander's arm and dragged him into the air.

"-carnivorous," sighed Willow.

"Take your stinking tendrils off me, you damn dirty plant!" said Xander as he tore himself free and dropped to the ground.

The kids looked at the plants with new perspective.

"Look! That's a venus man trap!"

"I think this is a stupid hangman's tree," said Xander, holding up what was left of his assailant.

"-That is a ginormous pitcher plant-"

"-does that triffid look a little hungry to you?"

"-is that a whomping willow?"

"Why are there so many carnivorous plants on a world with no animals?" asked Amy.

"I've got no idea," said Willow, curiously peering inside the maw of a venus fly trap, "isn't it fascinating?"

"Okay," said Xander, "This isn't too bad. We just need to find a friendly dryad and I'm sure that we can all get along."

"Ain't no such thing around here, tasty little boy," said a voice behind him.

"Oh look!" said Jesse excitedly, "An Audrey II! Hello!"

"What a mouthwatering delight it is to meet you," said the Audrey II, waving a tendril.

"Hello Mr Audrey II," said Willow, "We-"

"Call me Bertha, sweetcheeks," said Bertha, "and come in a li'l closer." It quietly maneuvered a runner around the children, encircling them.

"Oh, okay, Bertha," said Willow, stepping forward, "We were wondering- Wow that is a lot of drool. Are you hungry?"

"You betcha, sweet-thing. But don't worry, I'm sure that you can help me out with that in a snap."

"Yup," said Willow, nodding confidently, "Bears."

"Huh?" Bertha paused in confusion.

"Bears. We've got a world with lots and lots of bears. Too many, really. Would you like one?"

Bertha retracted its runner with a sudden sense of trepidation, "Uh, sure. That'd be downright neighborly of you. Thank you."

"Hold on, I'll get the Boys to grab one for us," said Jesse, and he headed back through the portal.

"Make it a few," called out Sharon, "I'm sure that some of the other plants are peckish too."

"Mmm, now this is one darn fine bear," said Bertha with one mouth as another munched on the bear, "Haven't had a bear like this since the war. Well, the after-party after the war."

"The war?" asked Amy, watching the bear get eaten with fascination.

"Mmmhm. Terrible thing. Plant against man. The day the garden gardened back," Bertha beckoned them closer with a tendril and stage whispered, "We won. Then we got kinda peckish. Bit of a celebration, you dig? And there were all those other animals out there looking so darn tasty. You can't blame a plant for acting true to its nature, you know?"

"Oh sure," said Jesse playing along, "I know what that's like. You wipe out one species and half an hour later, you see that other species over there looking all juicy-"

"Exactly!" roared Bertha, "Exactly. And once you've started you just can't stop. A real shame, it was. Been a bit light on victuals since then. All those animals were delicious though."

The jungle resounded with the noise of Bertha's belch as the last the bear slivered down its gaping mouth. "Hey, you guys got any more bears?"

Bertha was savoring this bear, making it last. Xander, Sharon, and Jesse had gotten bored listening to Bertha reminisce about past meals and were now feeding bits of bear to various plants, leaping back with a giggle whenever the meat was snatched out of their hands.

"So what started the war?" Asked Willow, from the comfort of her seat on a particularly soft patch of carnivorous moss that was futilely trying to devour her.

"Well, that's the thing, sweetie," said Bertha, "No idea. Everyone was gettin' along jus' fine one moment, love was in the air, and then out came the flamethrowers. We had to evolve pretty darn fast, I can tell you." Bertha sighed philosophically, "Still, it all worked out in the end. We grew up."

Willow leaned back, and shared a glance with an equally bemused Amy.

"In fact…" said Bertha, "Now that I've had some delightful bears, I'm kinda in the mood for love again. It's been a while, ya know. And I think my friends are feeling fine too, so thank you kindly."

"Well, you're welcome Bertha," said Amy as she stood up, "I'm glad that we could help, but I think it's time for us to go."

Bertha was too lost in the feeling spreading through its sap to respond.

It took some time to pry Xander from his scientific project to determine which plant was the most fun to feed. He only really stopped when the plants stopped eating, and started humming. And vibrating.

The party had almost reached the portal before the reason for the war exploded all over them.

Catherine Madison looked up from a conversation with Jerry to see multicoloured blobs running out of the Plantrobe.

"Aaaaaaahhhhh!" screamed Sharon, trying to wipe something sticky from her eyes.

"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" screamed Willow, vainly trying to protect her hair from whatever had assaulted them.

"Aaaachooo!" sneezed Jesse.

"Aarghhh!" shouted Xander, a little later, has he methodically destroyed the Plantrobe with well placed kicks and punches, "Plants! Must! Die!"

Amy was stoically suffering through her stuffy nose, itchy eyes, and her mother's ministrations as she tenderly cleaned Amy with a cloth soaked in rubbing alcohol. A growing pile of cloths sodden with pollen and spores was forming at their feet.

"So, darling, what have you learned from the Plantrobe?"

Amy thought for while before responding, "All plants are evil."

Catherine Madison raised a single eyebrow. "Is that all?"

Amy thought a while more, about what she'd seen and heard, and what it felt like to run through air filled with the results of plants making love. She nodded decisively. "Yes. Plants are evil and should be destroyed."

Catherine sighed, and dropped her last cloth onto the pile for burning.

Outside, Jerry was watching Sharon and Jesse desperately try to brush their clothes clean before they had to go home to their parents.

'They are beings of light,' he reassured himself, 'Very subtle. It is fine. I am sure that this is fine. It will all work out. Really.'

He watched the spores of the homicidal plants catch in the air and drift off into the night.

Chapter 23

Chapter Text

"Okay, we have four buildings done and The Boys are working on the fifth," Xander said, Willow writing on the white board as he talked, listing The Larder, The Lodge, The Island, and The Endless Dessert. "We have the doors prepared for all our houses and the other half of the doors set up in The Lodge and The Lodge is ready for us to stay in it."

"We need doors leading from each building to the other rather than just using the wardrobes," Willow pointed out.

"We also should mark the spot they open at on the floor," Sharon suggested. "You know, so no one is standing there when someone opens the wardrobe."

"Yeah," Xander said with a wince, "that is a really, really good point."

"What happens if someone is standing there when it opens?" Jessie asked.

"No idea," Xander admitted with a shrug, "but I don't think we want to find out it cuts someone in half or causes an explosion or something."

"Yeah, gonna agree with you there," Jessie said, with a shudder.

"You also made a wardrobe for my mom," Amy pointed out, "and The Island openings aren't inside the building, they're on the beach."

"We can make a line of rocks in the sand to mark it," Willow said, making a note of it on the board.

"Okay, we made the furniture for The Lodge and… I think we're done," Xander said with a frown. "At least for the moment. We've been pretty busy getting this all set up, I think we need a chance to relax and enjoy everything we've been working on."

"Once we get the doors set up in our closets we'll be done," Willow said firmly.

"After that then," he agreed.

"How are we going to sneak these into our houses?" Jessie asked as he stared at the stack of half a dozen doors that they'd spent the last couple of weeks making, having decided they wanted to set them all up at once, so no one was left out, the matching halves already set up in The Lodge.

"Mom knows, so I can just carry mine in," Amy said. "I can take it home when she comes to pick me up today."

"My mom probably won't be home, since it's a Friday," Sharon said thoughtfully. "We can just carry it into my house."

"My mom can give you a ride," Amy told her. "Both the doors will fit in the car if we squeeze in the front seat."

"I could maybe sneak mine in through the window," Xander said with a frown, thinking of carrying it up the trellis.

"I'll have to wait until my parents are away for the weekend," Willow said with a frown, wanting to get hers installed as soon as possible so she could spend more time with Xander even when her parents were home.

"It's nearly impossible to sneak things past my mom," Jessie complained. "Not sure how we're going to pull it off."

"They are tall but thin and not that wide," Willow noted and chewed her bottom lip in thought.

"She has her scheming face on," Amy teased.

"Thinking face," Xander corrected her, poking Amy in the side with a finger and making her giggle.

"We can make a small portal that just fits over the top of the door and feed them through," Willow said. "A small box just as wide as a door and as thick, doesn't need to be tall at all. We can fill it with a bunch of cards and the adults will just think it's a weird card holder."

"I'm confused," Jessie said. "Is anyone else confused, because confused is what I am."

Willow rolled her eyes, knowing he was exaggerating. She walked over to the doors and easily picked one up, holding it flat. "We just have to make a portal it can slide through like the opening in a deck of cards."

"Oh," the other children chorused.

"Okay, but this is the last portal for at least a week. We are going to shut our brains off, have fun, and watch movies and such," Xander said.

"As long as I can read," Willow said quickly.

"Yeah, relaxing on the beach, reading a book is fine," Xander assured her, getting a kiss as a reward.

"Okay, one last project and then it's vacation time," Jessie said with a grin. "Let's get some wood and get to work!"

Willow leaned in close to Xander as the other three raced off to get everything without even asking what was needed. "Take the new box to bed with you tonight," she whispered.

"Why?" he whispered back, even though they were now the only two there.

"Something I read about, I'll explain later," the red head replied with a blush before rushing off to help.

Xander scratched his head, trying to figure out why his girlfriend would want him to sleep with the new box they were building, before shrugging it off. She'd explain or it'd become obvious when they used it, but for now they had work to do!

"After this we're going swimming!" he yelled after them.

That evening

Xander pulled the door through the small box with a grin before peeking through the opening and seeing the warehouse on the other side. "Got it," he said, "going to mount it now."

Willow smooshed her face in the opening and pursed her lips for a kiss, which he gave her with a grin, both wishing they'd made the box wide enough to stick their heads through. "I'll meet you in The Lodge," she said as she pulled back.

"I'll be there as soon as I secure the door," he promised, before closing the box. He left the box on the bed and carried the door to the back of his closet, using a pair of brackets and a couple of small screws to mount it to the wall. Opening the door, he stepped through and looked around.

The Lodge was warm and well lit, thanks to the open sun box sitting behind the massive bed he'd built. He'd made it a lot tougher than normal beds, so they'd be able to jump around and wrestle on it without worrying about breaking anything. The shelves they'd mounted on either side of the fireplace were filled with books… well the right ones were, the left had a handful of magazines that Jesse and Sharon had both contributed to along with their collection of video tapes. They'd bought a wheeled entertainment center to put the TV and VCR on, a small wooden box placed over a power outlet at Jessie's providing electricity.

"This place is great," Willow said as she came through one of the doors on the wall behind him, labeled 'workshop' carrying the small box they'd passed all the doors through. "I can't believe we built all this."

"With some help from The Boys," Xander agreed, turning to face the row of doors on the curved back wall. "Sleepovers are going to be a breeze to organize now, and we can make all the noise we want without worrying about the neighbors."

"We need a stereo," Willow decided, "or maybe a boombox."

"And an alarm clock," Xander pointed out.

"I've got a spare," Sharon offered, making the two jump.

"Where'd you come from?!" Willow exclaimed.

"My door, the hinges are really quiet," she said with a grin.

"I oiled them," Xander said, "creaky hinges are annoying."

"We need to organize a sleepover," Sharon said, "like a housewarming." She walked over to the magazine shelves and set down an armful of magazines.

"This weekend," Xander decided, "we can have a party."

"That would be cool!" Jesse exclaimed making the three jump.

"And maybe put bells above the doors," Willow muttered.

"Mom said you can sleep at my place," Amy announced as she peeked her head through the door to her closet.

"What, really?" Jesse asked with a grin.

"Not you, Sharon," Amy said, "since her mom isn't home."

"Phooey," Jesse said with an exaggerated pout.

The girls giggled.

"Your parents would notice if you were gone," Amy pointed out.

"Sadly," he agreed with a sigh. "So, party this weekend?"

"That's the plan," Xander agreed.

"Well, I gotta go home and get ready for bed, before my parents realize I'm gone," Willow said, giving Xander a hug and a kiss before taking the small box and leaving.

"Yeah, same here," Jessie agreed, grabbing Xander in a hug before he could dodge and giving a sloppy, wet kiss on the cheek and running through the door to his room, laughing like a loon.

Sharon and Amy quickly encircled Xander in a hug while he was wiping his cheek and kissed his cheeks, thankfully with a lot less slobber than Jessie had, before they vanished through the door to Amy's closet.

"Note to self: Plan revenge," Xander said and yawned. "Later, plan later."

He entered his closet through the door and walked into his room, checking the time and realizing it was about time for bed. Since he wasn't staying over with Willow, he didn't bother putting on pajamas and simply tossed all his clothes in a pile on the floor before shutting off the light and climbing into bed.

*tap*tap*tap*

Xander opened the box and saw that Willow was in bed.

"Stick it under the covers near your waist," Willow whispered.

Xander lifted the covers and slid the box under them, wondering what Willow was up to. A moment later he felt a hand fumbling around until it found his. Smiling and holding hands with his girlfriend, Xander went to sleep.

Morning

"Xander, wake up," Willow said, shaking him.

"Bwah?" Xander said, sitting up, his blankets falling down to pool at his waist.

"Xander," Willow squeaked and spun around, "you're naked!"

He blinked sleepily. "Yeah? I always sleep naked at home."

"You were naked all night?!" she squeaked out.

He rubbed sleep from his eyes. "Yep," he tried to keep the amusem*nt from his voice, "and now I need to shower, so keep facing that way or you're going to see a lot more of me than you expected to see." Alright, he didn't try very hard, but it was just so much fun to tease her.

"You better hurry, we gotta get to school," Willow told him, her back to him keeping her eyes firmly on… the mirror she was facing as Xander got up and vanished into the bathroom.

After School

"We should hide a door close to the school," Sharon suggested as they walked down the front stairs of the school, ignoring the students flowing around them, eager to escape. "Something small, hidden in the bushes maybe."

"Too risky," Xander said, "we don't need anyone finding our hub and you know someone would."

"Yeah, meeting up at your place to walk to school is faster than leaving from my house anyway," Sharon agreed. "I'm just glad I don't have to ride the bus all the time anymore."

"Two more days to the weekend and we can spend all day at the beach and nights in a big pile watching movies," Jessie said with a grin.

"Elan is late," Amy noted.

"She is waiting on an adventuring party," Willow pointed out, "and you know what they're like."

"They probably stopped to burn down a tavern and destroy an orphanage," Sharon said with a grin. "For the sake of justice of course."

"Of course," Willow agreed. "No telling what evil those 'orphans' were up to and who doesn't like a nice roaring fire to drink around? Sociopaths that's who," she finished, getting a laugh from the gang.

"We haven't found Narnia, but we have found D&D," Jessie said with a grin.

"We'll find it eventually," Xander said confidently as they reached the street and looked for Amy's mom who was coming to pick them up.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Jessie asked.

"Movies, messing around… anything we like," Xander said as Amy's mom tapped the horn, catching their attention.

"Math homework," Willow reminded them as they headed for the car.

"Did that while I was in class," Sharon said, "it was easy compared to the stuff you have us figure out."

"Same," Amy agreed as they got in the car.

"Dude, we should have done that," Jessie complained.

"We mostly just handle making stuff, so the girls are way ahead of us on the math," Xander said with a frown. "We're going to have to fix that, but that's for later, right now we are still on break from working on anything."

"Taking the day off?" Catherine asked.

"Taking a number of days off," Xander said, "don't want anyone to get burned out and we've all been working hard the last couple of weeks."

"That sounds like a good idea," she agreed, "everyone needs to relax every once in a while. So, am I taking you all to the shop or not?"

"Any of our houses will do," Willow reminded her, "we have the doors to get around now."

"That's going to take some getting used to," she said with a smile as she pulled into traffic. "I'll just head home then."

"Help me with my homework and I'll do whatever you want," Jessie told his girlfriends.

"You'll do that anyway," Amy said.

"And?" he asked.

"And nothing," she said with a grin, "I just wanted to make sure that was still true. Of course, we'll help you with your homework."

"Can we at least plan out future projects?" Willow begged.

"Yeah, but no concrete planning," Xander told her, "wild flights of fantasy only."

Willow giggled. "We'll still pull them off."

"Probably," Xander agreed, "but the important thing is to have fun with it."

"Can I use the whiteboard?" she asked hopefully.

"Nope, you can only use things that don't interrupt our cuddling," Xander said, giving her a kiss.

"I think I can handle that," Willow said with a smile.

"Has anyone had any problems controlling their strength?" Jessie asked.

"I've destroyed three alarm clocks," Sharon admitted. "I finally fixed that by moving it across the room. Not sure that counts though."

"I kept breaking the tip of my pencil," Willow offered, "but after I got the hang of it after… about a dozen pencils. I haven't had a problem with it since then."

"One doorknob, cause I didn't realize it was locked," Amy said, making her mother laugh. "A bunch of pencils as well, but I've been pretty good about it since then, just wrecking some clothes that were pretty worn anyway."

"Yeah, gave myself a couple of wedgies," Jessie said. "I'm a little surprised we all got it that quickly."

"Except for our habit of tossing each other around, and we know we can take it, I don't think we've really had any problems," Xander said thoughtfully. "I broke some pencils and wedgied myself as well, but really we should have had a lot more trouble getting used to it or maybe that's just how it is in comic books because it's funny."

"Hadn't thought of that," Jessie admitted with a thoughtful frown.

"So why did you bring it up?" Willow asked.

"Oh, I was just going to use it as an excuse for us to play volleyball as a strength training exercise," he replied.

"You could have just asked," Willow pointed out, rolling her eyes.

"Where's the fun in that?" Jessie asked before sticking his tongue out at her, which prompted her to stick her tongue out in return.

"Okay, beach volleyball it is," Xander said, "then movies at The Lodge."

"And math homework," Willow corrected him.

"And math homework," Xander agreed with a sigh.

*beep*beep*beep*

"Mwuh?" Xander asked as he woke us, looking around for what had made the noise.

"It's the alarm," Willow said, as slid out of bed and stood up. "Cold floor!" She danced back and forth as she raced to the alarm sitting on the entertainment center to shut it off before rushing back and jumping back on the bed. "Cold everything," she complained, her breath fogging the cold air in the massive circular room.

"Why did we set the alarm for this early?" Jessie asked with a groan, sandwiched in between Amy and Sharon.

"Cause we need to be home in bed before out parents realize we snuck out," Amy reminded him. "Well, you do anyway, Mom knows where I am."

"Having parents that don't care comes in handy sometimes," Xander offered as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Ditto," Sharon said.

"Still need to get ready for school," Willow pointed out, shivering in her flannel pajamas and hunting for her slippers, which she found on the side of the bed and slipped on.

"Yes, but that's like three hours from now," Sharon said, "so…"

"Wake us in two hours please," Xander begged Willow.

Willow leaned down and kissed Xander's cheek. "I'll come get you guys," she promised.

"Darn responsible parents, ruining my snuggle time," Jessie complained as he climbed over Amy to get out of bed, wincing at the cold stone on his bare feet and quickly hotfooting it to the row of door on the wall opposite the fireplace, shivering in the cold air, dressed in just his boxers and a T-shirt.

"Wrong door," Willow called out as Jessie grabbed the knob of the second door without paying attention.

"Oh yeah," he said moving two doors down and vanishing into his closet.

Chapter 24

Chapter Text

"Do you think we should have built our beach house up on top of the volcano?" Sharon asked Willow as she relaxed on her deck chair, watching the others play in the surf.

"Dragons are pretty territorial," Willow said thoughtfully, "even the good ones, and I don't know if Elan considers the lake up there her property since she has a portal to it, plus the beach is better."

"Yeah, it's kinda cold and windy up there," Sharon agreed, "sunbathing would suck and we couldn't make sand castles. The view would be awesome though… if we had windows. Can we make windows to give us an awesome view and just hang them on the walls like we do the light boxes?"

"Huh," Willow said thoughtfully. "We could make a series of them for whatever view we wanted as long as we mounted them in the right place."

"We could have a bunch of windows in a closet and just hang up the ones we were in the mood for," she said with a grin.

"I'll add that to the list," Willow decided.

"We have a list?" Sharon asked distractedly as she watched Jessie launch Xander twenty feet in the air so he could do a cannonball into the water.

"I've got a lot of lists," Willow said with a grin. "I've got lists for all occasions!"

"Like what?" she asked curiously.

"Like where we should put the doors on Earth," Willow replied. "Think of how cool it would be to be able to go Disneyland or Six Flags or Sea World whenever we wanted. Of course the problem is keeping the doors secret and making sure no one else finds them."

"What if we bought a van and put one in that?" Sharon asked with a bright smile. "We could go anywhere and when we get tired of driving around we could park it and use the door to go home."

"That would only give us a single door, but being mobile would let us move it around easier," Willow said thoughtfully. "That's a lot cheaper than buying property wherever we want to put a door, but we'd need an adult to drive it around. I don't think cops in other towns ignore people wearing masks the way Sunnydale police do."

"This would be so much easier if we were in high school," Sharon complained.

"Which is years away, since skipping grades isn't good for our social skills and wouldn't affect when we could take Driver's Ed," Willow replied thoughtfully.

"If we could hide The Boys' horns we could get them licenses," Sharon suggested. "There are five of them, so we could have five mobile doors."

"Greg and Maggie might be able to pass the driver's test, not sure about the other three," Willow admitted.

"Two is better than none," Sharon pointed out.

Willow nodded. "If we made them look normal and tutored them for a couple of months, it'd let us have two mobile doors around the US. I'll talk to them and see what they think."

"How about a boat?" Sharon asked.

"A boat?"

"Yeah," Sharon said, "we could get a boat for another door. I think boating tests are a lot easier to pass and since The Boys love water that would give us a door that could go to anywhere there's water."

"What are you guys talking about?" Jessie asked as he joined them, having decided to take a break from swimming.

"Buying two vans and a boat so we have doors we could move around," Sharon replied, scooting over so he could join her on the deck chair.

"That would be so cool," Jessie said, wrapping an arm around Sharon, "but none of us have driver's licenses or a Captain's card or whatever they use for boats."

"If we can make the Boys look normal enough to pass for humans we could tutor Greg and Maggie to pass the driver's test and I think the others could get boating licenses," Willow explained.

"How big a boat?" Jessie asked.

Willow and Sharon exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Boats are more expensive than cars, at least ones that actually do more than travel a couple of miles or so," Jessie explained, "they've gotta be pretty big to go up and down the coast, much less go out to sea safely without the coast guard sending them back to shore."

"So we stick with vans for now," Willow decided. "We just need to start tutoring Greg and Maggie to pass the driver's test while looking for a way to disguise them as human."

"Elan would probably know of something," Jessie suggested. "I mean, she uses polymorph to make herself look like an elf and I think we'd rather get a magical item like a hat of disguise, it's uncommon which means it's easier to get ahold of than something rare."

"A magical tattoo would be better," Willow said thoughtfully. "If we can get someone who can give magical tattoos with disguise self, they won't have to pass the hat back and forth and spend hours on attunement."

"It'd probably be cheaper as well," Jessie agreed.

A large shadow passed over the beach, grabbing everyone's attention and luring Xander and Amy out of the water as well as The Boys.

The shadow quickly resolved itself into a silver dragon that sent a blast of sand out from her landing point as she back winged to settle lightly on the beach, allowing a pair of humans to climb down before transforming herself into a familiar elvish form.

"Elan!" Willow called out happily as everyone got up to go greet her and her friends.

"Greetings," Elan said with a smile, "Allow me to introduce my companions, Brack, A cleric of Selune and Aberton, a wizard of some modest skill."

Aberton rolled his eyes. He was a slender man about five and a half feet tall, wearing a black robe that had a series of softly glowing runes sewn in the hems. "It'd take two of me to be more modest," he said with mock pomposity as he stroked his short black beard.

"It's very nice to meet you all," Brack said. She was a broad-shouldered woman with long red hair braided with silver thread wearing studded leather. At a little over six feet, she almost towered over the smaller mage.

"Nice to meet you all as well," Xander replied, before introducing everyone.

Once Xander had finished, Willow spoke up, "We expected you months ago, we were beginning to get a little worried."

"Sorry about that, got distracted by a band of dopplegangers trying to take over a small town," Elan explained.

Jessie groaned. "I hate dopplegangers."

"Maybe if you hadn't been a butthead, we wouldn't have let one take your place for a week while we tracked down the assassin who'd killed the mayor so his spirit could be laid to rest," Willow teased.

"Yeah, seriously bro," Xander said, "when an evil doppleganger is better company than you, maybe it's time to invest in some personal skills."

The kids burst out laughing.

"You guys just liked him because he volunteered to cook breakfast every day," Jessie complained.

"The poison went well with the eggs," Amy said, before giving him a kiss.

Willow turned to Elan. "The anchor runes worked perfectly, we have all sorts of linked doors now."

"Already?" the polymorphed dragon asked, surprised that they'd made such progress.

"It's made things a lot easier," Willow told her.

"It's been a couple of months," Xander said, "plenty of time to get everything set up. The Boys even had time to build cottages everywhere we wanted them."

"We're hard workers," Greg said proudly.

"They really are," Sharon agreed.

"Well, now that you're here, let's get to the lab and see if you like the world we picked for you," Willow said excitedly.

"That turtle shaped building?" Aberton asked excitedly, gesturing to the large stone igloo the Boys had put together.

"That's just the entrance," Willow replied as everyone grabbed their things, "the lab is actually on another world, we've linked them all together."

"How many worlds?" Brack asked curiously.

"About half a dozen," Amy said, "but only this one and our home world have people on them."

"The Endless Desert has all the Kratons," Sharon reminded them.

"That's just a small group… at least I think it's small, they are kinda big so I doubt there were all that many hiding out in Sunnydale," Amy said with a shrug.

"And The Boys practically live at the Larder," Sharon pointed out.

"It's the best place ever!" Maggie said with a toothy grin.

"And we are always at the Lodge," Sharon added with a grin.

"Fine," Amy said, rolling her eyes, "only two worlds have native populations."

Xander held up an ice chest. "Okay, we've got everything."

Willow led the group into the building, pausing to drop off their beach supplies on a large table in the mostly empty room.

"Why a dome?" Aberton asked, noting how cold it was inside compared to outdoors and wondering what was generating the bright light inside the boxes high up on the walls of the curved structure.

"It's the most structurally sound choice," Willow told him as she pulled her coveralls on over her swimsuit while The Boys simply stripped, having no body modesty.

Amy used the bathroom to change while Sharon put a sundress on over her swimsuit. Xander and Jessie waited for her to come out so they could change.

Elan examined the walls, noting the strange stone used and admiring how tightly they all fit together. "It is well constructed," she complimented them.

"Thanks," Greg said proudly. "They were pretty easy to build, just took time to let the cement set."

"It's remarkably clean," Brack noted with approval.

"We've got a set of big doors set for your world," Willow told Elan, "Six feet wide and twelve feet tall, so you can move stuff through them easier. We chose a place a little over a quarter turn between the Lodge and Cold Storage, since we know you prefer the cold and that way it'll still have wild life if you want to go hunting."

"You're really just giving me a world," the polymorphed dragon said in wonder, "that's beyond generous."

"You taught us about anchor runes, which made all this so much easier," Willow told her, "Besides, how many worlds do we actually need?"

"Pretty sure there are an infinite number," Xander said as he came out of the bathroom.

Aberton examined the large wood door which was mounted to the curved wall, peeking behind it and seeing it didn't actually go anywhere as it wasn't flush with the wall, being curved. He didn't recognize the runes carved into it but he could sense their power.

"Okay, I'm ready," Jessie said as he came out of the bathroom.

"Excuse me," Xander said, waving the wizard to the side and opening the door, revealing a matching dome shaped room, but one containing an enormous bed, some other less notable pieces of furniture, and lined with doors. "Follow me," he said, leading everyone through to a door that he opened to reveal yet another matching room, but this one filled with bookcases, tables, and white boards on one side and work benches and wood working tools and supplies on the other.

"We're on another world," Brack said, feeling for her connection to her goddess and finding it fainter than she was comfortable with.

"We're at The Larder," Willow explained. "We had The Boys build a second dome for our workshop so they could have the other one."

"Amazing spellwork," Aberton said in wonder, "I didn't feel a thing." He restrained himself from heading for the bookcases, but just barely.

"How are you understanding us?" Jessie asked suddenly. "I mean, I know Elan can speak to anyone with a brain because she's a dragon, but I don't think you guys are dragons."

Aberton reached into the neck of his robe and pulled out a necklace. "Amulet of languages," he said proudly. "They take a bit of study to create, but they are one of my most useful tools."

"They are very handy," Brack agreed, "they allow me to save a prayer for healing rather than communication."

"Do you specialize in any area of magic?" Willow asked excitedly.

"Magic items," Aberton said proudly. "Any spell I can cast I can create an item to handle. Of course, most wizards do the same, however I've delved deep into the lore of creating magic items and have discovered many secrets of the art!"

"Meaning you can do it without exhausting yourself or requiring a king's ransom to create a ring of cantrips," Xander said, eyes lighting up.

"A ring of cantrips?" Aberton asked curiously, mind already going over the possible steps needed to create something of that nature.

"Exactly as it sounds," Xander said, going over to the bookcase and collecting the three volumes of TSR's Encyclopedia Magica to hand to him. "Here is a list of just about all the magic items we know of."

The mage's eyes got wide as he skimmed the first book, absently taking a seat at one of the tables, already deeply engrossed in what he was reading.

"And that's him done for a fortnight," Brack said with a chuckle.

"I was hoping to have him help us understand how you make the doors," Elan said, shaking her head, "but tearing him away from those books would be cruel."

Jessie grabbed a couple of empty notebooks and a couple of pens, quietly demonstrating to the wizard how to use them before stepping away to let him get back to reading.

"No rush, the doors will still be here when he's done," Willow said.

"Let's go watch cartoons while they're distracted," Jessie told The Boys.

"Good idea," Sharon agreed, as Willow wheeled out a couple of white boards covered in complex designs.

"Not going to join them?" Willow asked Xander.

"Nope, I'm going to stay here and when you get on a roll and their eyes start glazing over, I'm going to kiss you until they recover," he replied cheerfully.

Willow blushed but couldn't stop herself from smiling.

"That was my plan as well," Amy teased, "though I tend to just tickle you."

"And back to the subject at hand," Willow said forcefully, but with a squeak in her voice. "As you can see we incorporated the anchor runes in the central design to make sure they are fully enchanted, being one of the main focal points…"

Three hours later…

Jessie popped back in and found Xander sitting with Willow in his lap, whispering something in her ear that was making her giggle while Amy was pouring a couple of drinks for their three visitors, though Aberton barely seemed to notice as he was working his way through a notebook that he had half-filled already. "Guys, it's getting a bit late. We all should pop home and make an appearance for dinner."

"I don't think even I'm strong enough to drag Aberton away from those books," Elan said with a smile as she gestured to the mage.

Amy retrieved a massive wooden door bound with steel straps much bigger than she was and carried it like it was made of Styrofoam, placing it against one of the walls. "We set up a basic cottage on the other side for you, though there is only one bed."

"We didn't name the world, we wanted to leave that up to you," Willow offered.

Elan slowly approached the door. "I don't think you realize the full value of what you are gifting me."

"Of course we do," Xander assured her, "a week or two of effort on our part."

"Yeah, it's not like we own all of reality," Amy said.

Elan considered that and smiled, relaxing a little. "In that light, while still a princely gift, it's not quite so overwhelming."

"Everything in there should be easy to figure out," Xander said, "close the hot and cold boxes to modify the amount of light and heat, bathroom like we showed you before and such. Do we need to get you some food? I can order pizza."

"Maybe later," Elan said, "we have enough supplies for the moment. She opened the door revealing the same large domed shaped room with a massive bed and fireplace as well as a series of empty bookcases and tables with some basic writing supplies. "Oh yes, I think we'll be more than comfortable for the night. Meet you in the morning?"

"Most of us will probably sneak off once our parents are asleep and sleep in the hub," Jessie said. "Come on through when you are ready to have Willow explain the nature of reality once more."

"Hey!" Willow complained before sticking her tongue out at him.

The children scuffled a little before saying their goodnights and vanishing through the door to the hub.

Elan turned to Brack. "Did you sense anything?"

"They are all divinely touched, the children more than the Tieflings and not an evil aura among the lot of them," Brack assured her.

"And Willow?"

"Could qualify as a sage in many fields, but if she is a goddess of wisdom, she hides it well, which of course is the prerogative of gods," Brack told her.

"They are wise beyond their years," Elan said.

"They're wise beyond ours as well," Aberton offered absently, still busy scribbling away. "These books… their worth is beyond comprehension. Every magical item you could possibly conceive of is mentioned in these tomes along with anecdotes about things I think even the gods may have forgotten."

"And these are just a few of the books they have available," Brack noted, waving towards the many bookcases.

"I'm actually a little frightened of what I might find," Aberton said. "If knowledge is power… then they truly are gods."

Brack chuckled. "The books will still be here in the morning. Come to bed so you'll be awake enough to appreciate it come morning."

Aberton looked torn for a moment before closing his notebook. "I don't know how well I'll sleep, my mind is awhirl with things arcane that I've never dreamed of."

Brack grinned. "Oh, I think I can come up with a way or two to put your mind to rest."

The mage quickly followed the two into Elan's new den.

Chapter 25

Chapter Text

Xander took a seat next to Alberton who was taking a plethora of notes and writing down various ideas as he worked his way through the D&D Magical Encyclopedia.

Alberton took a minute to notice him as he finished sketching out a diagram of the Chimes of Opening. "Xander," he greeted with a smile, "is there something you need?"

"I have a couple of ideas to run past you," Xander told him.

"What are they?" the Artificer asked curiously.

"There's a magical item called a Hat of Disguise and I was wondering if you could imbue a ring or tattoo with the magic instead. Being at least half demon, The Boys have a hard time fitting in with the normal human world, so we're trying to figure out a way to help them," Xander explained. "We're also really interested in buying Amulets of Language and Rings of Cantrips, if you figure them out."

Alberton quickly paged through the reference books, taking out a separate notebook to take notes with as he looked up everything to do with disguises, tattoos, and cantrips.

Xander waited patiently, knowing that making magical items was a lot more complicated than the manuals said, or at least he assumed it was.

"Tattoos… not something I've worked with before, but it looks like they are actually easier in some ways to create, though I'm going to have to develop the skills needed, because the quality of the art matters," Alberton said thoughtfully. "We are looking at a significant amount of time and effort, not to mention the cost in materials."

Xander grinned and picked his backpack up off the floor. He pulled out a number of vegetables and laid them out for the wizard. "Try the carrots, they're the long orange root vegetables."

"Carrots are usually white or purple and not nearly this large," Alberton said as he pulled one out of the bunch and took a bite. The mage's eyes widened and he took another bite, chewing with evident pleasure. "These are the best carrots I've ever had!"

"We've spent thousands of years concentrating on breeding the best fruits and vegetables possible," Xander told him. "Not only are they easier to grow and harder to kill, they are tastier, larger, and healthier to eat."

"Thousands of years… on fruits and vegetables?" he asked in disbelief, before taking another bite of the carrot, unable to stop himself.

"With these you can change the fate of a kingdom," Xander told him.

"It would be a huge boon to a kingdom, though the effects would take years to fully take hold," Alberton said thoughtfully. "I admit they are very valuable, but magically I'm afraid they'd only be considered slightly enhanced, possibly a little more, but not enough to be used as reagents for what we need."

Xander nodded. "How about pineapples?" he asked, pulled a can with a pull top lid out of his backpack and set it on the table.

Alberton picked up the can, eyebrows raising at the photo of sliced pineapples on it. "Is this a preservation method similar to sealing food in clay jars?"

"Keeps them fresh for decades," Xander agreed. "It's filled with pineapple slices soaking in its own juices. Pull the ring up carefully and it'll break the seal, allowing you to peel away the thin metal lid."

The mage carefully followed his instructions and smiled widely on seeing the contents. "Pineapple that you've spent countless years perfecting, stored in a way to keep it fresh and unspoiled for decades?"

"I can also get whole pineapples completely unprocessed, but since rarity is a factor I know for a fact you have nothing like this," Xander said confidently.

"This…" Alberton smiled broadly, "this I can work with. How many can you get over the next lunar cycle?"

Xander shrugged. "How many do you want? I could probably get a couple hundred cans without too much trouble."

"A hundred?" the mage asked in disbelief. "I can't imagine the cost for such a bounty, it'd be near enough to afford a pound of aluminum!"

"Aluminum," Xander said and smacked himself in the forehead, knocking himself and his chair over. "Ignore that!" he quickly called out and leapt to his feet, picking his chair back up. "I sometimes forget my own strength."

"I've had party members who were barbarians before," Alberton said cheerfully before taking a sip of pineapple juice. "Magnificent!"

"So… a pound of aluminum would cover the costs?" Xander asked hopefully.

"A pound would cover my expenses for the next decade," Alberton said with a chuckle before taking in Xander's expression. "By the gods… you're serious?"

"We are very, very good at pulling metal out of the earth," Xander said. "Aluminum… it's pretty light, so I'm not sure how large an ingot it would be, but I can get you well over a pound of aluminum without a problem."

"You give away worlds for the barest of mysteries, of course you'd have riches beyond imagining," Alberton said, shaking his head. "I keep forgetting you are more than you seem."

"More than we seem," Xander said with a thoughtful frown as he considered everything they'd done and what they'd learned to do. "Maybe a bit," he agreed.

"As if the library wasn't enough of a hint," Alberton said with a laugh.

"Only some of these books apply to your world, other worlds use other books," Xander said. "Stick to the ones labeled TSR, the ones that apply to your world."

"I can browse your shelves?" Alberton asked, wide eyed.

"Of course," Xander assured him, "I just gave you those three books to look through because they best fit you."

The mage considered that looking seriously conflicted, making Xander laugh.

"The books aren't going anywhere, they'll be there when you finish with what you're working on," he assured him.

"Maybe a peek," the mage allowed.

"You have fun with that," Xander said. "Let us know if you need more notebooks, I'm going to go get you that aluminum."

"Yes, a sound idea," the mage said absently as he approached the bookcase with the reverence of a catholic priest watching a miracle happen in front of him.

Xander entered the hub and found the girls watching The Princess Bride with Elan and Brack, a bored Jesse perking up at the sight of him.

Jesse held a finger up to his lips and gestured for Xander to follow him as they exited the hub into Jerry's spice shop.

"Okay, aluminum is really valuable on their side of the door so I've made a deal with Alberton to have him make the items we need," Xander explained.

"What kind of items?" Jesse asked eagerly.

"Tattoos for The Boys so they can fit in with the normal world when they need to, Amulets of Languages so we can speak, read, and write any language we run across, and Rings of Cantrips because they are hella useful," Xander listed off.

"Cool," Jesse said. "Water breathing, flight, regeneration, free action, and sustenance," he rattled off.

"Wish list?" Xander guessed.

"Wish list," Jesse agreed.

"It takes years to make magic items," Xander told him, "but as long as you don't mind waiting we can add them to the list."

"No rush, though Rings of Sustenance cuts down on the amount of sleep we need," Jesse said, "so that would be the first of the extras I'd want."

"A pound of aluminum is getting us my list, your list would probably cost another two," Xander said.

"For each of us?"

"Altogether," Xander told him.

"Damn," Jesse said. "So it's more valuable than platinum to them."

"Much," Xander agreed. "I figured I'd go buy some cast aluminum parts from my uncle's wrecking yard and we're golden."

"Wait… doesn't he have that aluminum engine block that turned out to be a custom piece he can't find a buyer for?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah, he keeps saying he's going to sell it for scrap if the price of aluminum ever gets high enough," Xander said, before grinning. "Pretty sure we can buy Alberton's soul for that much aluminum."

"Bro, the look on his face alone will be worth it," Jesse said. "Two hundred bucks and we've basically paid for anything we can think of."

Xander laughed. "Let's do it!"

"That was a great movie," Elan said with a chuckle, "I'll have to get Alberton to watch it."

Brack chuckled. "You do know he'll end up taking notes partway through the movie."

"The apocalypse cloak, sword to guide the way, or miracle pill?" Elan asked.

"Yes," Brack deadpanned, before they both burst out laughing.

Xander and Jesse entered with a gleaming silver engine block between them and wide grins on their faces.

"What are you two up to?" Willow asked suspiciously.

"Breaking the mage," Jesse said with a laugh.

"I think we'd prefer him unbroken if it's all the same to you," Elan said, trusting they meant it humorously.

"Alberton said I could fund his operations for a decade with a pound of aluminum," Xander explained, "and since there are a number of magical items we want, I figured I'd pay him for everything in advance."

"That's aluminum?!" Brack exclaimed, wide eyed.

"It's between eighty five and ninety two percent pure," Xander said, "and weighs one hundred and twenty nine pounds."

"That's… that's more than a king's ransom," Brack said in awe.

"You really should have checked with me first," Willow said.

"I'll go get him," Elan said, stepping through the door that led to the study room.

"Why should I have checked with you first?" Xander asked.

"You'll see," the young red head said smugly.

Elan led Alberton into the room. "Trust me, you'll want to see it," she assured him.

"See what?" he asked.

Xander gestured to the engine block. "One hundred and twenty nine pounds of aluminum alloy of at least eighty five percent purity."

"It's… beautiful," Alberton said, entranced as he stumbled over to it, running his hands along it.

"Wish he looked at me that way," Elan teased.

"I feel much the same," Brack said with a grin.

"The precision that went into every facet of its creation," the mage said in wonder as he examined it.

"And that's why you should have talked to me first," Willow said smugly. "He's an Artificer and that's the most finely machined piece he's ever seen. He'd never be able to bring himself to melt it down."

Xander and Jesse exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Still worth it just to blow his mind," Jesse said.

"Money well spent," Xander agreed.

"It's like the Mona Lisa to him," Amy realized.

"Well, it is a work of art," Sharon said, "just the art is machinery and not paint."

Willow pulled a large wooden trunk out from under a table. "Aluminum is valuable in their world, but it's better if it's pure and in small enough units to use for trade." She opened up the trunk and it was filled with penny sized grayish coins. "The Japanese yen."

"How long have you been collecting them?" Xander asked.

"Since we found Elan," Willow replied. "I actually ordered them from the currency exchange for face value plus shipping."

"What could you possibly want that is worth this much, an artifact?" Elan asked.

"Aluminum is cheap here," Xander told her, "we're really good at mining. We want probably a dozen common magic items each."

"You've drastically overpaid," she said, "something I've noticed you tend to do."

"And you are understating things a mite," Brack said dryly.

"Different worlds have different prices on things," Willow said. "As far as we're concerned we're getting everything cheap, really cheap."

"Finding magical items is nearly impossible and would cost far more than we're willing to pay," Amy said. "Plus, they always seem to have some curse to balance out their blessing unlike what you can make."

"Your world concentrated on science rather than magic," Elan said to herself as she considered things.

"Exactly," Amy said. "So trust me, we are both making a huge profit as far as we're concerned."

"We could pay you less, but why would we?" Sharon said. "Both of us being rich in what we want seems a fairer deal."

"There is truth in that," Brack said, "and wisdom."

"I'm going to found a kingdom," Alberton said, hugging the engine block. "With the new vegetables and this wealth… a kingdom of magic is not out of the question."

"New vegetables?" Willow asked Xander.

"Our vegetables are superior to the ones developed during the middle ages," Xander replied. "When the farmers are healthy and well fed, so is the kingdom."

"A rising tide lifts all ships," Willow said with a nod, causing Brack and Elan to exchange side glances.

"I have so many ideas from the books you've allowed me to read and with the riches you've given me I'll be able to hire and train a dozen apprentices," Alberton said. "While I may be joking about creating a kingdom, I'm probably going to end up creating a college. It's going to make creating magical items so much easier!"

"I can't spend all my time ferrying you back and forth," Elan told him, "King Then'tal still has claim on my services for another seven years."

"I'll make a box we can pass things back and forth through," Xander said. "You guys probably wanted to see us in action and that's a good excuse for it."

"Most mages are rather secretive about their work," Alberton said.

"And think of how much more advanced your magic would be if you'd shared what you'd learned with each other," Willow said.

"Magic colleges advance magic more rapidly than solitary practitioners," Alberton agreed thoughtfully.

"Sharing knowledge allows it to grow," Willow told him with a smile as they all filed out through the door to their workshop.

Elan and Brack met each other's eyes once more as they followed the children and they didn't need telepathy to know what the other one was thinking. 'Willow is definitely a goddess of wisdom.'