The eve of Adam - Anonymous (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Adam groaned, pushing himself onto his hands and knees, rocks digging into where the skin was thin there, though he barely felt the sharpness. His entire body felt like it had been hit by a truck; or worse, he realized, as memories of what had transpired came flooding back to him. A repeated knife in the back from one of Lucifer’s lot - yeah, that figured. He'd taken enough of Lucifer’s backstabbing already, it made sense he’d hire out to do his dirty work.

But, how had he survived?

Adam looked down at his stomach, but things quickly and quite literally got in the way. A pit returned to his chest, a sight coupled with a feeling he'd not been forced to face in a very long time. Breasts, bare as when he'd left the garden. The rest of him too, was unfortunately familiar to him. No co*ck lay between his thighs, but a quim hidden under a bed of dark curled hair.

“Are you f*cking kidding me?” Adam hissed, but immediately regretted speaking when his voice was but a distant memory to himself. He never hated how he sounded, never hated how he looked like this, what he hated was what it represented.

Lucifer.

No one but a few select angels knew the truth, that the was no Adam and Eve. Not so much in a literal sense, at least.

When Lilith rebelled with Lucifer, the angels were scared, terrified, worried they'd anger God were they to create another woman that too would leave. They feared early on that maybe that was simply the nature of women. After all, Adam and Lilith were the first humans, man and woman were new concepts to the angels who had little such distinctions. But, at the same time, there needed to be an equal to Adam. That was God’s wish, for humanity to be caretakers of the new world that was created. They were meant to be fruitful, to multiply. No, it made more sense for the Angels to stick to someone they knew far better, someone more loyal.

Someone like Adam, who was nursing a hurt heart and trying to make sense of why his wife and friend had vanished.

Eve wasn’t a name so much as a title. It meant to give life. To give birth. The angels wanted humanity to procreate, but their paranoia led them to only one idea. Adam had to be the solution to the problem, so it was Adam that had to take on two forms, though he never agreed to the second. They did it to him. They framed it as a punishment for not being able to control Lilith. He'd felt such guilt, such shame, from the very beginning, this form only served to be proof of his mistake.

Adam would live his life as Adam, the representative of mankind. He was to be a caretaker, to raise the next generation of humanity as a father - but he was also meant to, on occasion, take the form of the life bringer, to have a child. These children would be born from him alone, with no outside influence. No sex, no love, no spouse, no friends, no partners. Just Adam. That's why Eve was always an after thought throughout scripture, it's why when Adam died, his death was the only one recorded. Eve never died, because Eve never lived.

No one expected Lucifer and Lilith to discover Eve so early in the Garden, believing she was a new bride of Adam’s, they thought to set her free. No one expected Lucifer to seduce this so called new bride, encouraged on by Lilith who only wanted to see Adam lose everything for not challenging Heaven for her as Lucifer had.

Adam hadn't known that, he'd not known much back then, he didn't know the darkness in Lilith’s mind or the taste Lucifer had developed for humans; he had just been happy to have them both back again. Adam didn't know they didn't know who he was, they had greeted him so warmly, so open and friendly.

He didn't know what was happening until it was happening.

Lucifer took him on the fertile green ground of Eden, while Lilith fed him the apple of knowledge. The apple was sweet, it dripped down his lips as Lucifer took first blood between his thighs. Lilith promised freedom, and Lucifer promised to always be there for Eve.

But there was no Eve. It was only Adam, and Lucifer made no promises to Adam.

When Lucifer and Lilith were cast into Hell for their crimes, Adam was left alone. He was too important to damn fully. But not important enough to keep within the garden. Forced to spend the rest of his days doing hard labor, toiling in the heat and sun, the dry soil - and his nights, he'd spent suffering Eve. Life was agony, both living it and creating it.

The earliest days outside of Eden were the hardest. Adam didn’t know how to survive in this new world, it was only by watching the animals that he managed to eat. But it wasn't the world around him that troubled him the most. It was how as the sun went down, his body shifted, and his stomach grew rounded. The angels were excited to finally see a human child.

Abel, his first child, was Lucifer’s. He'd known it the minute the boy was born. An abomination, Heaven whispered.

The angels were not apologetic when his firstborn son died. They’d pushed Cain on, telling him he was the true first human born to Adam. Abel looked different from Cain, from Seth, from Adam and his daughters. They never told Adam what happened to his Abel’s soul. Maybe he was cast to hell. Maybe Abel was the first soul to fall victim to an exorcist.

The angels hadn't wanted Adam to reveal himself to his children, they'd live not knowing the truth - that the mother and their father were one in the same, never seen together. The sun and moon never meeting. They didn't seem to question it, for the most part. Abel might have known, he was always the kindest to Adam, no matter what form he took. He was a good child, for the few years he lived. He loved the world so much, Adam started to again. Cain only respected who he thought to be his father. Seth, too, had little care over his not often seen mother. For centuries, Adam worked and Eve gave birth, attended to by only his daughters that went nameless in the scriptures that followed, though he remembered each of them. Miriam, Devorah, Rivka, Tahel, Rani...

Still, it was as though Adam couldn’t live as a whole person. He was just a tool. It was lonely, no matter who they thought he was. His children tried to reach out to him in heaven, many wanted to know where their mother was. Adam ignored them all, choosing to spend his time with the newer heaven born, who didn't know anything about him. People like Lute became his new family, but it was one born out of pain.

Adam had grown to hate his body, especially that body. He hated how he’d been forced into accepting that fate, how when he was alive the angels treated him as a different person when he was pregnant. How they never apologized, how they never cared how much pain he was in all of the time. It made him angry, eager to seek out anything that would distract himself. Food, music, crowds, heaven born women, anything.

He was always just Adam.

He'd not had to look at himself like this since he’d been alive. After over 900 years, when Adam died, he became an angel with the new ability to control what he appeared as. He'd never wanted to see himself like this again. It only served to remind him of his mistakes, of Lucifer, of Abel. He could still see Abel wriggling in his arms, brand new to the world. In that moment, Adam had been happy. When he held his son’s lifeless body in his arms many years later, Adam hated himself. He hated women. He hated Lilith.

He hated Lucifer f*cking Morningstar.

Adam pushed up to his feet and scrunched up his face, trying to focus on turning his body back to how he wanted it, but every time he glanced back down, he was still the same curved form he remembered bitterly. Well, maybe not the exact same, he'd definitely gained weight in heaven, and he looked much the same now, even if the distribution was slightly different. His stomach was still chubby and rounded, his thighs were thick, his hips were wider and squishy; and, all things considered, he had a pretty nice pair of tit*. Those were fine, he'd thought, he loved tit* - it was just that he didn't want them on himself. Generally, at least.

Someone whistled loudly nearby, making Adam crane his head over to see who f*cking dared. Of course he'd ended up outside Pentagram City, with the ugly f*cking hotel he'd thought he’d demolished looming in the background. A few straggler imps and a demon nearby were making lewd hand gestures at him, wolf whistling at him. Adam returned the gesture in a much less positive manner, now more focused on the fact he was still very clearly in Hell, still alive, and very f*cking naked.

“Come on, sweetcheeks, why don't we have a little fun? I love tall chicks. Come on over and sit on my face.” A scrawny hammer headed demon leered, licking his lips. Gross, Adam thought.

“Yeah, maybe after you drop dead! Taste holy light, f*ck face!” Adam yelled with a grin, pointing a finger at the group, expecting for all the world that a beam of golden light would end their pathetic existence.

Nothing happened, and Adam blinked down at his hand. Was all of himself on the fritz tonight? He shook his hand again, then pointed once more. And again.

“Uh, you okay, baby?” An imp asked with possibly actual concern as he inched forward, tail swinging behind it cautiously.

“No! f*ck you! Damn it, why isn't this working either?!” Adam hissed at himself, before looking back up with sharp eyes. “Stay away from me, I’m a guy, okay?”

The group just stared, before exchanging looks with one another.

“Fine with me, I’m into guys too.” One said. "I'll eat you out and call you daddy if you want."

“I love boy puss*, crush my head between your thighs.” The formerly concerned imp nodded his head as though to reassure him, to which Adam recoiled slightly. He'd not expected them to accept that so quickly, and to not be weirded out by it. Heaven certainly hated him talking like that. They always wanted Eve to be this separate entity, as though he actually was another person in that form. They never wanted him to call himself Adam when he looked like this. It was weirdly comforting, for a fraction of a second.

Still, he didn't want to f*ck a goddamn imp.

“Look, you don’t know who you're dealing with, okay? I’m better than you, I’m-“

“Eve?!”

Adam froze as a shadow appeared above him. Of course he'd show up.

Lucifer landed between Adam and the group, but he didn't seem to notice the others. He stared up at Adam, wide eyed, nearly teary eyed it seemed like, as he took a tentative step forward. It was as if he was looking upon a ghost of a long lost loved one. Adam hadn't truly taken in how Lucifer looked these days, the little suit, the top hat had changed since his more angelic days. God, he couldn't believe this asshole beat him.

“I had no idea what happened to you, I asked and asked, but… oh my, Eve. Look at you... You're more beautiful than ever. I can't believe you're here... Is it really you?” Lucifer whispered, trying to take Adam’s hand.

Adam wasn’t as smart as Sera or Lute, he wasn’t as smart as many angels, but he wasn’t totally stupid. He knew when to play his hand, and right now his hand was this goddamned body and the fact Lucifer didn't know who he actually was. Otherwise, Adam might not come back from the dead again so easily.

"It's me, Lucifer." Adam said, trying to keep his voice even.

Adam allowed clawed blackened fingers to wrap around his palm, for Lucifer to pull his hand to his lips. He tried not to feel ill as Lucifer pressed a soft kiss against his knuckles.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

“Eve, oh Eve…Are you alright? Oh! Are you cold?” Lucifer said, before he seemed to notice the state Adam was in. He shrugged off his outer jacket, before also realizing it wouldn’t fit Adam’s body in the slightest. Adam still was a good head and a half taller than Lucifer was, his height never changing between forms. He waved a finger and the jacket morphed into a larger size. Still, it wouldn't do much to cover the lower half of Adam's body.

“That's better, at least until we can get you inside!” Lucifer said proudly, a hand on his hip, and Adam tried to smile back but he knew it fell flat.

“Boo! We want to see tit*! Boooo!” One of the demons shouted, hands cupped around his mouth. The imp was making a thumbs down motion, sticking out his tongue at the King of Hell. The group they were with was laughing, and Adam felt his metaphorical hackles go up. He wished he had something to kill these f*cks with.

Lucifer’s proud smile twitched as they shouted, he turned his head slowly towards the group without moving the rest of his body, like an owl looking for prey, horns curling and ripping out of his scalp. The ground rumbled and clouds grew red and heavy in an artificial sky. Adam opened his mouth to say something about not needing Lucifer of all f*cking people to protect him; but a pit opened below the demon, engulfing it entirely in flames as it screamed into gurgling silence and all that was left was a shadow on the ground. It didn't take long for the other surviving demons and imp to flee.

In the blink of an eye, Lucifer was looking back up at him with big red eyes, smiling sweetly, squeezing Adam's hand. “Let's get you inside and dressed, shall we? So, uh, tell me, what brings you to here this time of year? You know, I can recommend LuLu World if you're interested. I can tell you all about it!”

Adam chewed the inside of his cheek, wanting to point out the entire reason he’d want to get clothed in the first place was Lucifer and Lilith’s f*cking fault. It was because of them that he felt shame over his body, in more ways than the one. And yet Lucifer seemed to wear it as a badge of honor, carrying around the apple everywhere he went. Lucifer clearly felt no guilt for what he did to him.

“Fine,” Adam said shortly, looking away from Lucifer’s eager face.

“Great!”

It stung to know just how differently Lucifer looked on him as Adam, and him as Eve. Lucifer had basically called him fat and out of shape before he'd beaten the sh*t out of Adam, and now here he was trying to act the perfect goddamn gentleman. No, Adam stewed in his anger, he might go along with this, but he wasn't going to let Lucifer kiss and make up so f*cking easily.

Lucifer grinned up at him, winking as his only warning before he wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist, though his arms didn't go all the way around. Even with that, Lucifer lifted him effortlessly, as though he was as light as a feather, a testament to how strong Lucifer actually was. Adam wished he'd known that slightly earlier.

Adam made a noise in the back of his throat as his feet left the ground.

“Don't worry, I promise I won't let you fall. I'm actually surprised you don't have wings too! But, I've got plenty for both of us!” Lucifer reassured him, spinning them both around in air, like a little dance only for their eyes only.

Adam had flown by his own power for thousands of years, preferring it to walking while in Heaven. After 900 years of working fields, trying to shepherd around ornery sheep, when he wasn’t screaming in pain in a birthing hut – Adam took every chance he got to take the easy path forward in all possible avenues. Lucifer had been there for none of it, so it felt alien to see six white and red wings lifting him up into the air.

“I’d love to show you around all of Hell! The Envy ring has some amazing beaches, and the resorts in Sloth are the coziest places you'll ever be! The beds are like clouds! Like, they're actually literal clouds! Makes bedroom time a bit difficult though, if you catch my drift.”

Lucifer laughed as he flew them up to the top of the hotel talking nonstop, and it had apparently undergone a few changes since Adam had seen it last. The f*cking apple shaped wing of the building was an ugly eyesore, more on brand touches from Lucifer it seemed. Still, Adam was glad when his toes touched solid surface again. Not out of fear of heights, but so that Lucifer would stop holding him so closely. It brought back too many memories, most bad, and they made the sweet ones go sour.

Lucifer let go and stepped back with his hands on his cane, looking back over the city.

“You know…I know that this place was supposed to be my punishment, and boy did it usually felt like it. Even in my happiest moments, I always had this shadow hanging over me. My regrets, my choices. I… wasn’t there for you like I should have been, I think about that a lot. Lilith shouldn't have gotten the same treatment I received either, but she didn't see it that way, and eventually it tore us apart…It still hurts - but lately, I look over the city and think… it's kind of pretty, isn't it? I guess even after so long, we can all change.” Lucifer looked back at him, a wry smile on his lips, fingers digging into the apple on the crown of his cane. “Freedom to choose, right?”

Adam looked out across Pentagram City. He'd been in charge of razing this place countless times, and it always felt good. Every single sinner that he killed was a mistake he was erasing, the culmination of every sh*tty thing in his life. No, it wasn’t pretty at all.

“Uh. Clothes?” Adam asked, avoiding the question entirely, pointing down at his crotch on full display still.

Lucifer looked up then down, face turning orange as he blushed fiercely, skin flooding with golden ichor. “Whoopsie! I totally forgot- I mean, last time I saw you, you were wearing much less than this, so it just slipped my mind.” Lucifer laughed nervously, racking his knuckles against the side of his head. “Knock knock, no one home- oof, sorry, I mean-“

Adam tried not to grimace as he stared down at Lucifer. What a complete weirdo. How was this the guy that beat him? Even worse, how had he ever once been wooed by him?

“You know what, I keep forgetting I have magic! Sorry about that Eve. It's like I saw you and…I couldn't think of anything else. Should have done this from the start.”

Lucifer snapped his fingers, and the jacket became a plain white dress that draped over Adam’s shoulders, falling down to his ankles. It wasn’t starkly different than the robes he wore as an angel or the basic linens he wore as a man, pants were a thing invented long after Adam died on earth; but this was different, it wasn't loose, it hugged to his curves. It felt tight against his hips, across his stomach, across his chest. The world seemed to fade to a pinpoint on him, and Adam's mind was flooded with a sense of wrongness. This isn't the view of himself that he was used to, this wasn’t the person he wasn't to be seen as.

“Wow,” Lucifer said, wonder in his tone. “Eve…Look at you now, I mean the…wow. You're, you know, va va voom. You always did manage to take my breath away.”

Adam wished he meant it literally. Would have solved a f*ck ton of problems.

“...Where have you been, Eve? Why are you here now?” Lucifer asked, voice shifting to slightly more serious. He wasn't as stupid as his clown face suggested. “I'm so…I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am to see you again, but it's been so long. You can't blame me for wondering why now?”

It's been less time than he thinks, Adam thought bitterly. Last time Adam saw him, Lucifer was splattered in Adam's blood.

“You know, I asked about you – constantly! I tried to find out whatever I could. I didn't want to think about you being forced into having kids with that asshole. But, it's been nine thousand years. Why now? I can tell it's really you, and not some type of magic…I just don't understand.”

That asshole? Adam repeated in his head, enraged. Was that all he was to Lucifer? Some asshole?! He balled his fists up, nails digging into his palms, trying to calm himself. f*ck, what could he even say to that? He didn't know why he was here, he didn't know why he was still alive and stuck like this. It wasn't fair.

“Oh…I’m…” Lucifer said, frown pulling the red spots on his cheeks down. “…I know you were married to him, you must be…conflicted, to say the least. I’m…sorry about what happened to Adam. Regardless of everything.”

“Oh? Is that so? You're sorry?” Adam snapped, before he could stop himself. Lucifer looked momentarily taken aback, Eve had certainly never yelled at him in Eden. Adam was too smitten to do that back then. “You think I feel conflicted right now? That's putting it really f*cking lightly! I was alone, Lucifer. I didn't have anyone except…”

Myself, Adam thought to himself, squeezing his eyes closed.

“Okay then, I'm not sorry.” Lucifer said flatly, causing Adam to snap his eyes open in shock. “Adam was an egotistical douchebag that deserved what he had coming to him. I was there, I heard how Adam tried controlling Lilith. I saw how he viewed having a wife. Like.. Like they were some kind of servant! I never liked him any, even in Eden. Then he tried to kill my daughter. I can't imagine what he did to you, and it made me sick to think about. I’m glad you're free now - truly free!”

Adam felt his anger boiling below the surface of his skin. This again? Freedom? What bullsh*t. How he treated Lilith? What about how Lilith treated him?

“I kind of hoped that was…that that might be why you're here now.” Lucifer sounded so hopeful as he spoke, so youthful - but then again, he always did.

Adam had grown old when he was alive, he’d stopped giving birth at the ripe old age of 666 (that was an unfortunate coincidence) and lived for a few hundred more years as Adam only. He aged, he grew grey, he grew slow, he watched grandchildren and great great great grandchildren play in fields around his village.

Then Adam died. Alone.

“I don't know how he treated you on earth, or in Heaven, but I know it couldn't have been good. You don't have to worry about him anymore. I'm here for you, no matter what you need, no matter what you want. Adam is gone for good!” Lucifer grinned toothily, clearly proud of himself. It was practically a marriage proposal, and Adam wouldn't put it past Lucifer to jump all in like that.

But.

Those were the exact last words Adam wanted to hear. Something snapped in him.

The world seemed to grow hazy around him, and it took Adam a moment to realize he was crying. He fell to his knees, but Lucifer caught him and eased him down more slowly.

“Oh, oh no, oh no no, oh f*ck-I'm sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like- I thought you’d hate-“ Lucifer stumbled over his words, panicked, fingers shaking as he ran claws through Adam’s hair, trying to pat his back. “Eve, I am so sorry, I didn't know you cared about him-“

“I want to go home. I just want everything to go back to normal.” Adam hissed, clenching his eyes closed, and Lucifer’s ministrations slowed. “I don't know how I got here, okay? I don't know why I even...I just want to go home…”

Adam lost consciousness not long after.

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

He thought he would have dreamed, but Adam didn't have many dreams left in him.

He opened his eyes into a garishly red, white, and golden cluttered bedroom that had an entire mural painted on the ceiling of a fake night sky with a bright star in the corner. Lucifer, Adam thought with displeasure, as the rest of what had happened came rushing back to him. He glanced down, finding himself in a bed, and lifted the sheets.

Immediately, Adam dropped them, and groaned to himself. Still in this f*cking form it seemed. Great. He had better turn the f*ck back before he got his period. Hadn't he suffered enough?

“Are you awake?”

“My eyes are open, aren't they...” Adam mumbled before he turned his head very slightly to the side and found to two eyes extremely close to his face, and half near jumped off the bed. Lucifer never did have a great sense of personal space, but none of the angels did. It annoyed him at first, when the exorcist girls hung all over him, but eventually it seemed odd to not have one sitting on his shoulders or leaning against him. It wasn't quite like having a family, but it helped.

“Holy f*cking- back up! What are you doing, f*cking sniffing me?!” Adam warned, pushing himself into a sitting position. Lucifer blinked owlishly at the comment, and Adam understood why owls were so often seen as bad omens. Creepy bastard didn't even bother to respond. “...How long was I out?”

“Not too long, but long enough for me to get youuuu….” Lucifer trailed off as he turned around to grab a plate of something. “Ta-da~! I figured you might be hungry, schlepping all the way down here to Hell, so I figured I'd pop on over to the garden in my castle. It's no Eden, but there's no place like it in Hell, not even in the Gluttony ring, and they tried to style themselves after the garden! Bee doesn't have my connections though.”

The gold plate he shoved under Adam's nose was covered in different types of fresh dates, olives, almonds, pomegranates, perfectly ripened fig, diced pieces of sweet melons, slices of fresh honey comb, red and green grapes, and…

f*cking apples. No f*cking way was he eating any apples.

...Still, Adam's stomach grumbled. Yeah, he could eat everything besides those, right?

He scooped some of the honey up onto an almond and bit into it, and immediately the flavor was old and familiar. No modern fruit tasted the way they used to, sure there were less seeds and the fruits were bigger now, but they lacked a special something that Adam remembered from Eden. There was a richness to it that had had Adam humming and closing his eyes. Food in Heaven was perfect, it was Heaven after all – but it wasn’t this.

“I, uh…actually made it for you.” Lucifer said, sounding a bit nervous, that orange blush tinging his cheeks again. Adam frowned as he popped a grape into his mouth. “The garden, that is - in the castle, I modeled it after Eden. Lilith absolutely hated it, wanted nothing to do with it. But, I still thought…still hoped you might eventually end up here, with us. Do you remember, back in Eden, I told you-“

“That you’d create for us a place where we'd never want, a place for the three of us to be happy, somewhere so beautiful that Eden would pale in comparison. Somewhere in the stardust and galaxies, where we'd be free.” Adam repeated the words Lucifer had told him so long ago, but it wasn't hard to remember them. He'd heard them over and over, in his nightmares. “Yeah. I remember. How'd that work out for us?”

Lucifer looked a bit stunned at the comment, but blinked it away with a sad smile, hanging his head down. “...I guess I'm not very good at keeping promises, but I wanted to make that space for you. If I ever saw you again.”

What dedication to a woman that never existed, Adam thought to himself as he watched Lucifer, chewing up pomegranate, seed and all. Adam smiled at the idea of it pissing off Lilith, though.

Wait. Lilith! f*cking damnit, Adam thought, the answer to his issues was sitting up in heaven in a f*cking sea side cabana getting f*cking Mai Tais hand delivered by hunky Heaven born Virtue guys.

Adam's world spun as his body tried to catch up with his head. When Lilith had shown up in Heaven, he'd agreed to her deal, without the archangels knowing. He knew Lilith had probably something else up her sleeve, she always did. No matter how much Adam hated the bitch, they had always understood each other in the worst possible ways. So when Heaven had been considering eliminating all sinners in Hell after Lilith got them all worked up, she talked to Adam directly and he agreed to go down to the once yearly exterminations with no injuring of hell born. In exchange, she would remove herself from being able to rally any hellish troops against Heaven again. She’d stay in Heaven, as a punishment and as a bargaining piece. She'd not been happy about it though, neither was Lute when she found out.

Lilith didn't know about Adam being Eve, though, at least back then. But maybe she’d found out since then. Maybe she wanted to curse Adam for making her stay in Heaven. That’d be just like her, to punish Adam by making him stay in this form. Sera would know, she'd help. She was one of the few angels that knew about him and about Lilith

“Eve? You okay there? You sorta…spaced out-“ Lucifer waved a hand in front of his face, until Adam slapped it away half heartedly

“Thanks for this and all, but I need to go talk to Heaven. I'm not supposed to be here, okay? I belong in Heaven. I need to go to the embassy.” Adam flung blankets off to stand, but grabbed a handful of dates first, shoving them in his mouth like a chipmunk. Lucifer just looked perturbed as followed in wide eyes as Adam moved to the door, wringing his hands.

“Uh, um. Are you… sure you want to go so soon?” Lucifer had to take two strides for each one of Adam’s, his heels clicking on the floor with each step. “I mean, I could still show you around Hell? Your wish, my command! I could fly you around? I haven't even introduced you to- wait, wait, wait, Eve! Not that door-“

Adam flung open the door, ignoring his pleas, and was hit by a solid yellow tidal wave crashed down around him. He brought his arms up to guard his head as squeaky yellow objects bounced off his head – were those f*cking ducks?! Adam had to wade out of the pile, horrified and disgusted, kicking them as he went until he was free.

Lucifer stood in front of him, wide eyed in horror, chewing on his fingernails with nervous abandon. "...Whoopsie."

“What. The. sh*t. Are. Those?!” Adam hissed pointing down at the multitude surrounding his feet, one falling out of who knows where and squeaking as it hit his head. Adam grabbed it with a snarl and hurled it at the wall, where it made a forlorn bleating sound as it hit.

Lucifer laughed out a small wheeze, but his face looked anything but relaxed. “Well, everyone needs a hobby, right? It's just gotten a little…” Lucifer eyed the piles of yellow rubber ducks as though they'd betrayed him. “...A little out of hand.”

Lucifer was the most feared and reviled creature on earth, even as religion faded from mankind slowly, there was no man or woman still living that didn't know of the King of Lies. Adam had made certain of it, he passed on to his children to never trust the fallen angel – that the freedom humanity had been offered was a curse. The suffering they felt, the pain of childbirth, death itself – it was all because of Lucifer Morningstar.

Yet, here Lucifer stood, poking nervously at a little yellow duck with the tip of his cane. “I forgot what this one does- oh, that's fun, it wets itself. The diaper duck, that's what I was going to call it. Thought it'd be great for the hellborn kids, but it didn't test well in focus groups, they wanted more gore.”

“I ...can not believe I let you f*ck me.” Adam whispered, half to himself, but loud enough Lucifer could hear. None too surprisingly, Lucifer winced at the comment.

“You're not the only one surprised by that. Really any time I have sex, I'm like, what why, why me?” Lucifer laughed nervously, but the expression faded from his face slowly. Lucifer stared down at the pile of ducks.

“I...After I fell, I lost…all belief in myself. I couldn't come up with a single good idea anymore. When Charlie was born, I remember she liked these little ducklings in a pond. She kept asking Lilith and I to take her back, but eventually they grew up and flew away. She was so tiny, and so sad. I would do anything for her, which is when I came up with these. Finally…finally I thought I had gotten my spark back.”

Lucifer reached down to grab one, it was painted like a dala horse, but in rubber duck form. “It entertained her, briefly. Lilith kept pulling her away, and then…I was stuck again, and it seemed like the only new things I could make were just…ducks.”

The furious, bitter part of Adam thought Lucifer deserved it. A smaller part of him sympathized, as memories of his children splashing around at the edge of rivers flooded his mind.

Adam exhaled slowly through his nose, scratching his head, not used to there being so much hair to get in the way. “Look, Lucifer. I'm not…I'm not the person you think you know. What we did in Eden…it's been ten thousand years, Lucifer. I can't f*cking fix you either, I'm not your daughter, or your wife - no matter if you dress me up like Lilith or not.”

Lucifer looked as though Adam had struck up, snapping his head up, horrified. “That's not what I was trying to do at all- I know you've changed, so have I, but I wasn’t trying to turn you into Lilith!“

“No?” Adam asked, tilting his head, and pointing at a portrait on the wall. His dress was extremely similar to Lilith's in the painting. Lucifer looked between it and Adam, realization seemingly kicking in.

“I'm…Eve, I really hadn't even…I was just so used to making all her clothes for her, that I didn't think-“

“You never think about how it'll hurt me." Adam snapped, and Lucifer closed his mouth, eyes flooded with pain.

"...This is why I need to go back to where I belong, and you can go back to your weird f*cking duck life. The person I am is not someone you'd want to be around now, okay? That's pretty f*cking clear.” Adam walked to the other door in the room, hoping this one wasn't stuffed full of toys, but he didn't see another way out. Granted, he wouldn’t put it past Lucifer to hide an exit.

“Eve, please, I never wanted you to suffer or get hurt, I thought I was helping you, truly. Eve, I do want to get to know you, I really do- please, at least let me change your dress if you hate it? I'll do whatever you want, please just talk to me some more. “ Lucifer tried to convince him, sounding nearly desperate. He sounded good begging, but Adam knew him staying here was a powder keg. The less people who knew the better.

Adam yanked the door open, only to come face to face with one Charlie Morningstar. Adam lurched backwards to avoid colliding with the girl, only to feel Lucifer try to steady him with a hand on his lower backside. God, Adam knew Lucifer was short, but that hand was a little too close to his ass.

“Charlie!” Lucifer exclaimed in slightly manic relief at the interruption. “Charlie, this is Eve. Eve, this is Charlie, my daughter! You can't go before you meet my daughter, can you?”

Charlie stared at him, and Adam had always thought the girl was not maybe the brightest bulb out there, but she looked correctly suspicious of him immediately. "Eve?” Charlie said slowly as though it was a distasteful curse. “Adam’s Eve?”

“More or less.” Adam answered with crossed arms, meeting her eyes with a challenge.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Adam remembered the sharp pain of trident points digging into his shoulder, ripping through flesh and mortal, until it spilled golden blood down his robes. He been momentarily stunned by it, not having felt physical pain in thousands of years.

It was incorrect to think Adam had no contact with Lucifer after Eden, they just hadn’t met face to face, and Lucifer didn't know Adam was the head exorcist. Throw that into the ever growing list of sh*t Lucifer didn't know about. They'd exchanged messages before, and it was always exceptionally clear that Lucifer didn't care about the exterminations, he hated the sinners forced to inhabit the Pride ring. But, Lucifer equally didn't want to interact directly with any angels anymore. When Lucifer had sent him a message saying that Charlie would be the one attending a meeting in his place, right after the extermination, Adam hadn't thought much of it. When he'd heard she was born, there was an initial pang of anger, hurt, and envy, but Adam had plenty of years to get over it.

Then she f*cking gathered an army, killed half his exorcists, stabbed him, and eventually was the catalyst for Adam dying in the first f*cking place. It made perfect sense that she was the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith, who else but a mix of them could be able to f*ck up his life so thoroughly?

“Eve here doesn’t, uh, know how she got here to Hell. But, I promised to show her around, if she wanted. I just know you two will get along!” Lucifer said excitedly, looping an arm through Adam's arm and through Charlie’s. “It'll be so much fun!”

Adam pulled away, like his arm had been burned. “Yeah, no, I'm not staying.”

“You're not?” Charlie asked slowly, raising a curious eyebrow, glancing between Adam and her father, the latter of whom was clearly trying to change the subject. “Wait, wait, are you sure you don't have any ideas how you got here in the first place? Why haven't you said anything until now? Did it have something to do with Adam dying?”

Adam spread his arms with a giant shrug, the universal expression for I dunno. “Probably! But I'm not going to cozy up to the family responsible for killing Adam and dooming me, thanks but no thanks!”

Charlie frowned, scrunching up her eyebrows like she was trying to piece together puzzle fragments, but Adam just pushed past her and out into the hallway – f*ck, he missed his wings. He didn't want to have to go down so many flights of stairs. Maybe there was an elevator? Heaven loved elevators. He barely walked up there, unless they were training.

“Wait, wait, so – Adam dies, and you, Eve, his wife, just… show up? This doesn't seem suspicious to you, dad? Is it a good idea to have her here? Heaven hasn’t said anything after the extermination was cancelled, then she shows up? What if she's a spy- OH, what if she's Adam in disguise! Or Lute! Maybe she's trying to destroy the hotel from the inside!” Charlie spitballed ideas, getting more and more worked up, looking between them.

Adam didn't look back, which was good because he probably would have made a face at one of those options. Instead, he was focused on deciding which way to go to get out. Why were there no exit signs in this place? Didn't Hell have an OSHA?

“Oh, no, no, no Char-Char. I knew Eve in the garden! I know in your picture book it seems like your mother and I just gave Eve the apple, but it took a lot longer than that!” Lucifer explained behind him, making Adam grind his teeth. Yeah, no sh*t.

“See, your mother and I fell in love, but then we stumbled upon Eve. She immediately acted like we were long time friends, she was so excited and just had this glee when it came to exploring the rest of Eden. We sang, we danced, and I fell doubly in love! There was a time where I intended to have both Eve and Lilith as my wives.” Lucifer sighed wistfully, and Adam wanted to slam his face into the pavement.

“I only wish we didn’t have to be so secretive about it, we always had to leave before sun up, so the other angels wouldn’t catch on to Lilith and I having returned to garden. It was only after that, many many moons, Lilith and I agreed to give Eve the apple, so she could come be with us, and be ours. In all means of the word.” Lucifer said, clearly tongue in cheek. Adam and Charlie made the same face at the comment.

“Dad, I don't need to hear all that…I kind of heard enough during your fight with Adam.” Charlie sounded slightly grossed out.

“Look, I'm just saying Eve isn't a malicious person, Charlie.” Lucifer told her, and Adam had had just about enough of this.

He turned around slowly, looming over both of them, still a good deal taller than Charlie. “Stop telling me who I am! You don't f*cking know anything about me anymore, Lucifer, and it sounds like you never knew me then either. I don't have any sympathy for you and your people.” Adam snarled, and Lucifer faltered. “I agreed with the exterminations. Sinners are hopeless, they lost their chance, and they deserve what happens to them.”

The red from Charlie’s pupils began to bleed out into her eyes, until all that was left was golden slit pupils. Buds of horns started to appear on her head. Lucifer moved to get between the two of them, though it didn't help he was significantly shorter than either of them.

“But," Adam started, meeting Charlie's eyes. "Heaven didn't send me here, not that I know of.” Adam huffed, knowing that Sera would fix this when he could talk to them. “Now, how the f*ck do I get out of this place?”

Lucifer stayed between them for a moment, silently watching him with pained eyes. Adam knew Lucifer regretted what happened to Eve, but as long as he didn't give a sh*t about Adam, Adam didn't care about him. Lucifer shook his head, exhaling slowly, his shoulders dropping. He looked entirely defeated. Charlie seemed to notice too, and she bit her lip in concern.

“Okay, Eve. I’ll…I'm not going to keep you here, I won't force you to stay. Do you want me to change your dress before we go?”

Typical. When Adam acted like Adam and not like some fictitious version of Eve he'd created in his mind, Lucifer was fine getting rid of him.

“Make it less tight,” Adam pointed at the dress, where it pulled over his chest and stomach. “I'm…I'm not Lilith's size.” Adam stopped before he compared himself too closely to his ex wife. He felt sh*tty enough as it was without calling himself fat.

“I think you’re the perfect size,” Lucifer said softly, but he snapped his fingers anyway and the dress turned into a looser gown. “Is that okay?”

“...Make it purple, I like purple.” Adam said, and purple flooded the dress like flowers blooming across it until it was fully colored in. “Great. Now take me to the embassy, I know you have f*cking portals. I don't want to walk through the city.”

Or have to go through the parade of freaks that was probably loitering around in the hallways.

“Dad?” Charlie asked, seeming a bit uncertain, but Lucifer just waved his hand.

“It's okay, sweetheart. I'll take her there and I’ll…I'll be back soon. I'll be fine.” Lucifer tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Charlie squeezed his hand, comforting him, but he pulled away. A gold ringed portal opened beside him, and Adam could see the steps to the embassy through it.

Finally, he thought, casting one last look at Charlie Morningstar. Once he returned to being himself, he'd be coming back here and getting rid of all these freaks once and for all. They wouldn't be expecting it, and now he knew the angels weaknesses. They'd figure out new armor, new weapons.

Then the world would say farewell to the entire Morningstar bloodline.

Adam stepped through and Lucifer followed closely behind his heels. The embassy was silent as always, holy protections on it to keep out all demons and hellborn. Only angels and those with heavenly blood could enter or even touch this place, keeping it cleaner than the usual hellish fare. Adam breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he was inside and the doors fell closed behind them. It was all so familiar, from the smell, to the color scheme. A little slice of heaven.

Safety.

“Eve?”

Then he'd finally be free of this f*ckin' guy.

Adam turned, standing in the middle of the room to look down on Lucifer. The devil's face was different, more serious than he'd been before.

“I know I've been ...pushy since you got here, Eve. I'm sorry about that, but the reason is…In the past, I agreed with you, with Adam, with Heaven, on the exterminations. I only saw the horrible parts of this place, of humanity. I thought that was my punishment, I didn't think it was possible for anything else. But, that's changed.” Lucifer looked out a stained glass window, but all the people outside were warped. “Eve, I wanted you to see what I see now.”

“And just what do you see now?” Adam asked, voice tight in his chest. “Because from where I am, I still see people who made their choices. Sinners with no-”

“I see hope,” Lucifer answered, cutting him off, meeting Adam's eyes. No fear, no humor, no hidden anything. Just Lucifer laid bare. “A man, a sinner, sacrifice himself for the sake of the people he cared for, with no promise of Heaven. Sinners joined together to fight to save one another, willing to die for no reward. Not for their own sake. People who knew it would be the absolute end. Wouldn't you call that a truly good action?”

Adam glanced away, thinking back on the battle at the hotel. He'd been so angry, after Kara died, beheaded by one of the monsters in hell. His exorcists we're heavenborn, they were purely good, yet he was supposed sympathize with sinners who had to get chance but chose Hell? No, he figured they were all fighting for power, for glory. They weren't being selfless, they couldn't be.

“I don't know you, Eve, you're right. Maybe I never did, or maybe time changed both of us, maybe pain did too - and I'm unendingly sorry for the hurt I caused you. But, I think maybe there's a lot of things Heaven doesn’t know either. Maybe there’s a chance, Eve. Maybe Hell isn't forever.” Lucifer took a step towards him, hand stretched out to him. "Will you please reconsider? Stay with me here, just for a few days. Get to know people."

Adam balled up his fists. No. He was never taking anything from Lucifer ever again. Because if hell wasn’t, then that meant Heaven…no.

“No matter what - Hell is forever, for you.” Adam snapped, and Lucifer just laughed, shaking his head. He dropped his hand. The deal was off.

“Oh, I know. I wouldn't leave. My daughter is here, and there's nothing I would trade her for. Not Heaven, not Lilith, not you, not God himself. I love her more than anything.” Lucifer smiled at him, and Adam felt a pang run through his chest.

“I do still hope you come back sometime, Eve. I really would like to get to know you again, and I’d love to show you around.” Lucifer said with a sigh, pulling off his hat, tipping it towards him. “But, at least this time I get to say goodbye to you properly.”

Adam bit on his lip, looking away so that he’d not meet Lucifer’s eyes. It’d hurt so f*cking badly when Lucifer and Lilith vanished without a word. When he was banished from the garden, he expected to find them, but all he was met with was dust and wind. Adam didn't know until he was dead that they'd been punished and sent to Hell without him.

He'd thought he'd been abandoned. Lied to. Left behind. Left alone.

“Goodbye Eve.” Lucifer said more softly. “I'm probably pressing my luck to ask for a kiss goodbye?”

“You are,” Adam hissed, voice shaking slightly. “f*ck you, Lucifer. You deserve everything coming to you.”

Lucifer said nothing more as Adam turned and pushed inside to the meeting room, letting the heavy doors fall closed behind him to finally cut off any ties that linked them.

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

“Stupid f*cking bureaucracy…” Adam mumbled to himself as he signed in, and his signature vanished into the ether. “Why do I have to sign my name? I'm f*cking A-AH”

A face appeared directly in front of his, the unnaturally smiling grin of Peter as he floated in front of Adam. “Hello there, hi, thank you for contacting Heaven, but I'm sorry to inform you that we’re not allowing questions from Hell at this moment. Again, so sorry about that-“

“Do you know who I f*cking am?” Adam snapped at him. Some lowly f*cking angel didn't get to take to him that way. “Connect me to Sera right now, Simon. ”

Peter’s eye twitched at the mention of his birth name, but his smile didn’t fade. “Yeah, no, yeah. I can't do that, sorry. You can apply for a-“

“No, you're going to do as I say because I’m-“ Adam started to yell out, but realized quickly it wouldn't be a good idea to say his name just yet. Peter sure as f*ck wasn’t privy to knowing the truth about Adam, he was way too low ranking for that. “I’m Eve. The Eve.”

Peter’s hologram flickered slightly.

“You know…Adam and Eve?” Adam finished lamely, waving a hand at himself. “The… mother of humanity? The life giver? That Eve? That's me. So, make yourself useful and-”

Peter vanished in a flash, his face replaced with the far more solemn scowl of Sera. She looked surprised to see him, but just briefly. He would have thought she’d be more excited he wasn't f*cking dead. Adam had anyways been the person she went to get the messy sh*t done.

“Thank f*cking… I don't know how I got stuck here, and I don't have wings anymore, I need you to come…“ Adam trailed off as he noticed Sera wasn't reacting to him. “…It's me, Sera, it’s-

“I know who you are, Eve.” Sera explained slowly, and Adam faltered.

“No, Sera. It’s... I'm…I'm me. I’m-” Adam said, stumbling over the words, but her expression didn't change. Why did he feel so stupid when she talked down to him like this, as though everything he did just made more problems for her. He'd never been a child, but he imagined this is what it felt like.

“As it is written, when you are in this body, you are Eve. You can be nothing else. Adam is dead.” Sera cut him off.

No he wasn’t, he was right f*cking here! Pin pricks of tears stung his eyes. He wasn't gone, he wasn’t Eve.

“Never the less, it matters little. I'm sorry to tell you this, Eve, I understand this will be painful to hear - but you are not allowed back into Heaven as you are.”

A pit grew in Adam's stomach. "…What? What do you mean? Just send someone down and-“

“You're Fallen, Eve.” Sera said simply, but it was like a thunderclap through his mind. Bile rose to his mouth, burning his tongue. No, no, it couldn't be. Not him! “There is no debate on this, you're unable to return to the light of Heaven. You are a sinner. I am sorry, my child.”

Adam choked on a cry, shaking his head, fingers digging into the table, leaving scratches in the wood. “No, you're wrong, I’m…I can't be, I did everything I was ever told to do! I repented like you said for taking the apple, I followed orders! I let Cain be banished! I had all the children I was told to! Heaven agreed to the exterminations, you wanted them all to die too, I-“

“Your heart must have grown truly heavy with wickedness. I fear we gave you too much freedom…There's a reason Lucifer was drawn to you, perhaps. Maybe it is simply a failing of humanity, so prone to corruption.” Sera sounded as though she regretted saying it, but she did none the less. Too much freedom? Too much?

“Alas, Eve, there is still hope for you. It seems…that Lucifer’s daughter may not be as mad as she acts. The snake demon that you killed - Pentious. He was reborn in Heaven. None of the other sinners that died in the extermination have yet to be reborn here, but he has been. We’re looking into it, of course. Michael is quite upset, and the Metatron is refusing to speak to me on the matter.”

Adam felt like the entire world had turned upside down on him. “…What?”

Sinners couldn't be reborn.

They were hopeless.

They were evil, that's why Adam killed them.

They couldn't become better.

They were monsters who chose their path in life.

They couldn’t be redeemed.

They chose Hell.

They chose Lucifer, King of Lies.

They couldn't be redeemed.

Because if they could, then that meant…

He felt sick. His world was spinning around him.

“While I do doubt the actual likelihood of such a redemption being legitimate, if there is even the smallest chance it is true…I would suggest you attempt to redeem your immortal soul, Eve. Otherwise…Well…” Sera didn't have to continue. “Good luck, Eve.”

“Wait, wait, please- what about Lilith?” Adam begged, grasping at anything he could. “Maybe she’s-“

“She had nothing to do with your failings, this time, at least. Lute has seen to Lilith, taking on your part of the bargain, for now. She believes you dead.”

“Lute,” Adam gasped out, picturing his second in command. She was loyal, fierce, one of the few Heavenborn Adam truly liked. She was fully non interested in romance or sex, otherwise they probably would have hooked up by now. f*ck, they were missing karaoke night. “Let me just speak to Lute at least, explain to her-“

“Do you think she’d show you any mercy? As a sinner? You're an abomination, Eve.” Sera asked him, tilting her head, eyes opening up across get feathers. “That isn't how you trained her.”

“But-“

She vanished, and the room grew silent.

“Sera?” Adam whispered, fear of being abandoned making his hands shake. "Sera, please."

No, no, this couldn't be real. He couldn’t be stuck here. He couldn’t. He didn't belong in Hell. He didn’t! These freaks were rapists, cannibals, murderers-

Was he a murderer?

He could almost hear the whispers in the back of his mind, that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Adam stumbled back out of the meeting room, and his eyes fell on a shape in the embassy lobby. Lucifer sat at the very end of the seats, faced away from Adam, looking like he was almost in prayer. Did he still pray? He snapped his head up and around when Adam walked out, face turning to one of pity as soon as he took in Adam’s state.

“Did you know?” Adam asked, voice barely above a whisper, but it carried through the entire hall. Lucifer stood, biting his lip with the smallest shake of his head, but it wasn't a total denial. “DID YOU f*ckING KNOW?!”

“I… I suspected? I hoped for your sake that I was wrong. I thought that the other seraphim would still take you in, at least, but…” Lucifer answered, looking up at the stained glass, the scenes depicted there, of angels and Heaven. Instead of pictures of mercy, it was violence. Burning flames, a constant reminder that peace was for the living. “You appeared in Hell with no idea how you arrived, the fact you don't have a halo or wings…the fact that no one from Heaven came to retrieve you.”

No one came for him. No one came for him, no one, no one, no one-

“f*ck,” Adam screamed as the weight of his situation finally pulled him down, drowning him. Lucifer said nothing as Adam grabbed the edge of one of the seats closest to him, and lifted it. He didn't think about his strength, he didn't think about any of that. His adrenaline and rage blinded him to everything but the need to destroy.

He hurled it through one of the stained glass windows depicting the seraphim, panting as the red sky in the Pride ring beamed in through the now jagged frame. It wasn't enough, it wasn't enough. He broke another, and another.

Without thinking about it, Adam raised his arms, willing his guitar to him – willing it to come crashing down upon everything in the room, to destroy the embassy itself. He gave everything, he did what he was told, he obeyed and prayed, he watched his son die, and watched as a young Cain was led away, he was a good servant of Heaven.

But they kept taking and taking and taking from him. So he'd take something from them, even if it was this small.

Something solid formed in his fingers and he brought it down onto the next seat, cleaving it neatly in two. Adam stared for just a minute, before a manic laugh left his lips – then, he proceeded to destroy every last piece of Heaven he saw in the Embassy, every chair, every table, everything, until he was left panting in the middle of wreckage.

Lucifer stood in front of the door, only watching. Red eyes following his every move, every motion, every swing, every sob.

Adam clenched his eyes closed, before screaming and dropping to his knees. Dropping his instrument. Instrument, Adam thought blearily, throat raw, as he turned to look at it, brain humming. It wasn't his golden guitar, his golden axe – no, Adam let out a puff of exhausted laughter. f*cking figured.

It was still a guitar, but instead of the heavenly golden curves and frame of the body, this one instead appeared to be made of a human rib cage – missing a single rib. The dumbest myth that came from the creation of the eve form. Adam wasn't missing any f*cking ribs, but the thought left his mind quickly as he took in the rest of the guitar. The neck too, wasn’t smooth like his last; rather, it was shaped like a human spine cut flat. But the strings, nuts, and frets were all golden, as though remnant of himself were pulling him back together.

“I am sorry, Eve.”

Adam felt his shadow over him before he noticed the King of Hell had moved closer.

“No, you’re not.” Adam rolled his eyes, falling back on his ass to stretch out his legs across the floor. He was still barefoot, rainbow shards of glass cutting into them and he'd not even noticed.

Lucifer came to kneel down in front of him on the ground, getting a half hearted glare in return, but Adam was too tired to do much else. He conjured rolls of white linen, wrapping them gently around Adam’s feet until the linen turned golden yellow.

“...You really think I don’t sympathize with someone getting cast to Hell for not being exactly what Heaven wants?” Lucifer asked, looking at him, meeting his eyes. “Do you think I don't care about you-“

“No, you care about a faulty memory of me, and you only do that because your wife f*cking left you.” Adam said flatly, fingers digging into the purple fabric of his gown. He pulled his foot back, away from Lucifer’s poisonous touch. “If you knew me, you'd hate me just the same as you hate Adam.”

“That's not-“

“It is!” Adam barked, laughing incredulously, looking down at him. “I took part in the exterminations too, okay? I wasn't just fine with it. I killed sinners! Happily! What part of me do you think is truly different from him? Just because I have a puss*?”

“No, Adam tried to kill Charlie-“ Lucifer tried to counter, and Adam just cackled, shaking his head.

“I would have done the same! I was rooting for the exorcists to win. Your lot killed an angel, a heavenborn, like you – but your family turned their backs on them! Charlie was supporting those freaks set on killing angels I knew.” Adam whispered, and Lucifer’s eyes flicked between red and gold for a fraction of a second. He could see where Charlie got it from. “Girls that are gone forever because of her…And you dont even care, just like you didn't care about Adam.”

“Only because Heaven decided an exterminator was necessary.” Lucifer countered. “No one had to die.”

“Sinners were overtaking Hell and you weren't doing your job!” Adam poked him hard in the chest.

“My job? This is my punishment, Eve! I didn't want to kill your descendants, no matter how f*cking awful they were.” Lucifer reached forward to grab his wrist this time, and Adam realized once again that there was power flowing through Lucifer's veins that Adam couldn't dream of containing. He was stronger than he'd been as an angel in Eden; as King of Hell, Adam wondered if Lucifer could even be defeated.

“Whose fault is that?” Adam whispered in spite, and thunder streaked across the sky outside the broken out windows.

“You know, I'm just about done being blamed for the failings of Heaven and angels.” Lucifer said, pupils turned golden and slit, voice layered by thousands of others, a extremely powerful demon lurking below. One that could have killed him with ease during that fight. “I didn't do anything maliciously, and yet I was still hated, feared, vilified, and outcasted – you should understand how that feels, Eve, and why I want you to be...”

Lucifer let go of his wrist without bruising it, and his features turned back to normal as he exhaled.

“I’m…Look, okay. Let's start over.” Lucifer clapped his hands together, trying to shake off his upset. “I understand that you hate me now, and even though I regret it, I'm not going to press the issue any more. I’d love for you to stay with me at the hotel, I want to get to know you again…but you clearly do not like me very much.” That was putting it mildly.

“I can contact Bee or Bel, they'll find a place for you in Gluttony or Sloth. Satan too, in Wrath, which isn't as welcoming a ring, but Satan himself is great - you wouldn’t expect it, but he's a total sweetheart.” Lucifer laughed awkwardly, scratching at the red spot on his cheek. “...If you never want to see me again, let me at least make sure you find somewhere you’d…hate the least. I'll make sure you’re taken care of.”

“I'm not f*cking you, I'm not opening my legs for you.” Adam glared, wanting to snap his cane over his weird little head. “Or kissing you, so whatever you have planned you can drop it.”

Lucifer held up his hands, defensive, eyes wide. “You don't have to do anything, I don't want anything in return!”

Yeah right, Adam hummed to himself, distrustful; but he had heard Queen Bee was pretty fun, music, good food, orgies. Adam had never f*cked a succubus though, so Lust appealed to him as well, though he'd heard Asmodeus had gone soft recently. No one in Heaven really liked the Hellborn, but they were far less offensive than the sinners.

“I thought sinners couldn't go to any other rings?”

“Yeah, well…” Lucifer smiled at him in a cheeky way that felt nostalgic. “I'll always break the rules for you. Plus, I am the King. Who's going to stop me?”

“You’re…” Adam started, before his eyes stopped on Lucifer's hat. What Sera had told him finally clicked in his head. “THE SNAKE.”

Lucifer flinched slightly at the outburst in his face, brows furrowing like he was about to say, yeah, no sh*t, but Adam waved him off.

Adam sat been up on his knees, looking down at Lucifer, heart beating wildly. “Pentious.”

Lucifer looked befuddled, “who?”

“The f*cking snake demon! You mentioned him earlier! Pentious! The one with the ugly steampunk ship! He's in Heaven!”

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

“Okay, so wha-” Lucifer blinked, before realization and shock set in on his features. Even the snake on his hat look surprised.

“Wait, what?! Charlie was right about redemption?! Holy- I can't believe it! She was actually right- No, no, haha, I always believed in her! Of course I did. No doubt in my mind!” Lucifer laughed out a nervous wheeze. Adam made a face at the comment, he’d always sort of figured Lucifer was more involved in Charlie’s redemption idea, as a counter to Lilith. Maybe he hadn’t given her enough credit.

“That means…there’s a chance I can get back into Heaven too, right?” Adam felt newly energized, head buzzing, though the destruction of the embassy around him cast a shadow on his plans. What would he have to give up this time? What would he have to sacrifice?

“Maybe? Sir Pentious was a human sinner, though - you're a fallen angel. The same rules may not apply.” Lucifer unhelpfully reminded him, though he looked equally uncertain.

“There's only two fallen angels in Hell, and I don't think either of them are trying to get back into Heaven real hard.” Adam leered down at Lucifer, but he was more thinking of Vaggie – another betrayal, another abandonment, for the sake of Lucifer’s f*cking bloodline. Lute understood how upset he’d been, how angry, she’d tried to make it right for him and ended up without an arm. “Plus, I used to be human.”

“True, but…are you sure that's what you actually want to do?” Lucifer asked him, making eye contact. “Eve, look at what they’ve done to you… How much do you have to suffer for their sensibilities? Adam died because of them. You fell because of them, their exterminations. Why do you want to go back there? Eve, I could…I could make things right, I could give you whatever you wanted. Anything you wanted.”

Adam scoffed, but there was a kernel of truth in what Lucifer was saying, even if the King didn't understand exactly what. Adam had suffered, but he didn't want to anymore. That was the point of Heaven, ending his suffering. Yeah, the rules sucked sometimes, but what was the alternative? He'd been alive long enough to know people didn't do anything for free, including Lucifer. That was sort of what he was known for, flowery promises dipped in venom. Maybe Adam didn't think it was fair, all the things he’d gone through, but still. Could he really ever be happy in Hell? Lucifer f*cking wasn’t, Lilith only seemed like she wanted to f*ck sh*t up. The only person who seemed to actually enjoy hell was Charlie, and she was actively trying to get sinners into Heaven.

Then there was the matter of Adam having no idea exactly how long he'd be in this form, if it was permanent or not, but eventually it felt as though the truth would come out. Adam wasn’t super well known for keeping secrets, except this one, and even then it had been a near thing a few times. He'd already started acting more like himself around Lucifer, unable to keep up some demure façade. He even once blabbed to Lute that human childbirth was a pain in the ass, but only sort of pulled it back by claiming he knew from watching Eve.

Lute was an angel, a heaven born, with heaven born instincts - she wasn't a great liar, while Hell was full of them. Full of people who might see through his mask much quicker.

And he couldn't count on Lucifer for protection. Not as Eve, not as Adam.

“...It's my only option, Lucifer.” Adam answered. “I can’t stay here, anywhere here. My children are in Heaven, Lucifer.” Except the one. But, it’d get the message across to Lucifer enough, given how protective over Charlie he was.

Lucifer’s expression softened some, though he still sighed to himself, not hiding his disappointment. Though he didn't look quite as upset as Adam expected. “Alright Eve, I understand. Back to the hotel then, shall we? I can make a room up for you.”

“... What? Hotel? Why would I go back to that sh*thole?” Adam scrunched up his brows, putting a hand on his hip. That place was ugly and tacky, Adam didn't want to get within twenty yards of it. Getting repeatedly stabbed to death in front of it didn't help his opinions on the building.

Lucifer looked at him with what Adam had coined The Angel Look, which all angels equally shared. Like they didn't understand how his brain worked.

“…Because it's where Sir Pentious was redeemed?” Lucifer said flatly, a hint of judgement in his tone. “How else did you figure to be redeemed?”

“I don't know! I just thought I’d f*cking pray on it real hard, say I’m sorry for whatever they're pissed about now! I don't want to go back to the hotel!” Adam protested, knowing it actually would be hell if he had to f*cking play nice with all those freaks.

“As far as we know, it's the place responsible for the only redeemed sinner in recorded history. We don't know exactly why it happened it, but isn't it safe to assume it's something to do with the hotel, or the people at it? Like, Charlie. The only person who thought it was possible in the first place.” Lucifer raised an eyebrow, waving a hand, and a magical little apparition of Charlie and Pentious appeared in it, hugging. Gross, Adam stuck out his tongue.

“I don't want to go back to your sh*tty hotel!” Adam seethed, feeling close to a tantrum. “Who knows why Pentious was redeemed?! Maybe he just wanted to get the f*ck away from there, from your annoying f*cking family! I'm not f*cking going!”

Lucifer began to look angry, a scowl forming on his face, but he closed his eyes, visibly counted to 3, then took a quick inhale and shook it off. “Okay, Eve. I told you I’d do what you want, so we'll do this your way. If you think this is the best choice for you, then you're in command.”

Adam liked the sound of that at least.

Lucifer snapped a finger and glowing portals opened up in a ring around them. Inside, Adam could see the different layers of Hell. He could see the golden hues and soft breeze coming from luscious plants growing as a thick forest in what must have been Gluttony. Another had a deep orange sky, high reaching mountains, and wide open prairies that had Adam grimace. He'd done his time as a farmer and shepherd. It had to be Wrath. Pink met his eyes next, and he immediately felt nearly lulled into a state of calm, lavender and fresh linen came from Sloth.

Adam went one by one looking over them all, but what Lucifer had said began to gnaw on him.

“Have you been to any of the other rings of Heaven?” Lucifer asked him, hands on his cane. “Humility was only full of cherubs last time I was there, but I know that's where the Winners go now. I was created on the top ring, Kindness. All the Seraphim were.”

Adam shook his head slowly, still staring into the rings of options. No, he'd never been past Humility, humans weren't allowed, even those who'd become angels. Anyone with a mortal soul wasn’t able to make the journey, supposedly. He'd never met many of the higher ranking Seraphim either, only the aptly named Sera who oversaw Humility. He'd heard rumors of Michael, Gabriel, but Adam never saw them. Most the Heavenborn girls, non angelic heavenly entities, he hung out with came from Chastity; whereas his exorcists were made in Diligence, before being assigned to him. Lute had told him that even Heavenborn could only travel down, not up. Cherubs couldn’t go to a level higher than Humility, unlike the Hellborn free to move across rings.

“Like I told you, Bee will take good care of you, she would without me ordering it too. She's very focused on being a great host, making sure everyone is happy and healthy.” Lucifer told him after a month, noticing Adam's eyes stopping again on Gluttony. “It's been a long time since I went to any of her parties, but they're fun. You'll have everything you want, food, music, entertainment.”

Adam wanted to go, but a thought kept popping up in his head.

It didn't feel very… penitent, did it?

“Hey, what kind of sinner was Pentious? Like, what did he do? To end up in hell.” Adam asked, not looking away from the lush greenery inside the ring.

“I never really spent much time with him, only met him briefly once, but from what I was told… he was an inventor, died an inventor. He was focused on using his weaponry to try to become a minor Overlord. As for in life…let me check.” Lucifer waved a hand and a large book appeared in front of him. It was thick, tattered at the edges, and the outside looked to be made of human teeth stitched together in gold thread. Lucifer flicked through the pages quickly.

“Penti, Pentia, ah, Sir Percival Alexander Flemming Pentious. My record shows he experimented on civilian populations in the late 1800’s, ending with an explosive device killing an innocent.” Lucifer hummed to himself, dragging a sharp finger across lines of Aramaic. Wait, Adam thought to himself with a frown – so, Hell knew why people ended up there, but Sera didn't seem to know why souls ended up in heaven?

“Anyway. Somehow, he ended up at the hotel. Charlie said he tried to betray them there, but he eventually came around.” Lucifer smiled while he recounted the story, and where it would have once been a sad smile, mourning his loss, there was now a tinge of hope in his voice. “He sacrificed himself, to try and buy time for everyone else in the battle.”

Adam hadn't believed him before, but now it all felt different. In Heaven, he'd been told that was the end. They said they weren't heartless, humans had their chances – even those who had done wrong could repent while they were alive. Adam had, even Cain found himself in Heaven after his death, though he’d never become an angel like Adam had. Adam saw it as proof, you lived your life, you made your choices, and you had up until the end to change. Those who didn’t, burned.

“…Am I in there?” Adam asked quietly, making Lucifer blink, before flipping through pages.

“Ah, no. You're not. No Eve. But, it doesn't have Vaggie either. I think it only works on humans.” Lucifer answered, and with a flick of the wrist, the entire tomb vanished.

“You really think the hotel is where I need to be to be redeemed?” Adam asked, looking at Lucifer, feeling uncertain in a way he hadn’t since…well, the last time a Morningstar made him question himself.

“I can't answer that, I really don't know. Pentious being redeemed wasn't really what I was expecting either – but Charlie believed it was possible. So, I’d start there, if I were you.” Lucifer’s voice was him trying to be reassuring, but Adam still wanted to twist his head off.

Adam breathed out a long sigh, taking in the last of the sweet air coming from the ring, looking down at his feet, where pieces of stained glass still littered the ground. He saw his face reflected in it, distorted. It was odd, how familiar and alien this face felt. His features were generally the same, his eyes were the same, his nose was the same, his hair was the same color, but it was wrong. He just wanted to be himself again.

“Fine. I'll go back to your stupid hotel.” Adam huffed out, and Lucifer’s eyes got wide, unable to keep the giant excited smile off his face. “But I'm not doing anything like joining hands and singing dumb little songs – or trust falls! I'm not doing trust falls! Is that clear?”

Lucifer didn't look dissuaded, practically bouncing as he said, “crystal!”

Chapter 7

Chapter Text

“So, do you want me to carry you or-“

“Make a portal, clown.” Adam glowered, though he'd take the free ride over walking if it came down to it; but when Lucifer had portal magic, it didn't make sense to fly. Adam was fairly certain Lucifer just wanted to touch him more.

The portals into the other rings folded in until just one was left, and Adam could see the familiar group of freaks from the hotel loitering on the other side of it. He stepped forward through the portal without any input from Lucifer, and found himself standing on carpeted floors rather than the decimated interior of the Heaven Embassy. He wiggled his toes into it, only distantly feeling the sting of pain from to get cuts.

Adam's eyes fell first on Vaggie, who looked shocked as Adam and Lucifer stepped into the room. Adam looked over next at that one radio man; he hadn't thought he'd killed him, but Adam was disappointed to see he hadn’t more severely injured the sinner. What had his name been again? Alex? Aaron? Alphonso? Either way, red eyes narrowed as soon as they took in Adam. He didn't react beyond that, his grin stayed the same.

But Charlie still had her back to Adam, and was animatedly talking at the group, waving her arms.

“-and so she says she’s Eve, but how do we even know that? She's clearly manipulating my dad, he's been so lonely after my mother left. For all we knows Eve is…” Charlie trailed off, hands dropping as she noticed everyone in front of her was staring behind and above her.

“Oh, she's right behind me isn't she?”

They all nodded.

Charlie turned her head then made another interesting glurk noise in the back of her throat as she was met with Adam flipping her off. “You have something you want to say to me, sparkles?”

Charlie balled up her fists, and Vaggie grabbed a spear off a suit of armor in the corner. Lucifer, however, was quick to move between them again, hands up, laughing nervously.

“Hi there. We're back! Ah, so - Eve will be staying here for awhile-“

“Dad!” Charlie protested, but her complaints were drowned out by the others who began to yell in earnest too.

“You want us to live with the wife of the guy who killed Pentious? The head of the exterminators?! She's like the First Lady of Heaven!” Angel Dust exclaimed, waving a hand at Adam. “She even f*ckin looks exactly like him! Were you not kidding when you said you was going to f*ck him? Cus it was funny at first, it ain't now!” Angel turned the last comments attention to Lucifer, who had the gall to look offended at the suggestion.

“I've never met Eve before,” Vaggie said, a spear already in her hand, though Adam wasn't sure if she ever let it go. “I was created in Heaven, I was around Adam all the time, I never even heard him mention Eve.”

“Yeah well, sweetheart, Adam only introduced me to the cool exorcists, the ones that had good vibes. Fun to hang out with, you know. Not you, in other words.” Adam got out quickly, turning up his nose at Vaggie, only got her to press the tip of a heavenly weapon into the bottom of one of his tit*. Annoyed, Adam reached down to grab the shaft of the spear. With little effort, he pulled it free from Vaggie and bent it in two, until the room quieted up.

“Wanna try that again?” Adam asked Vaggie with a grin, as his former soldier snarled up at him.

“Let's not!” Lucifer laughed, grabbing the broken spear out of Adam's hands with even more ease than Adam had taken it from Vaggie. He tossed it over his shoulder until it flew through the portal behind him and into the embassy, then the portal glimmered close.

“…With that out of the way - Eve, do you want to tell them, or should I?” Lucifer asked him, looking eager. He was way too happy about all of this for Adam's liking.

“f*cking hell, I've heard this before - she’s pregnant, isn't she? You should get a prenup and a paternity test. I don't trust the look of her.” Husk stated, arms crossed in front of his chest. Adam didn't focus on the insult, instead a brief flash of a memory ran across his mind, of Abel stumbling around as a toddler, trying to come say hello to his newborn brother Cain.

“No, no, no, no- I wouldn’t, we wouldn’t, I mean, not that fast anyway. It's barely been an hour, I have a reputation to keep, haha-“ Lucifer’s face turned peachy as he tried to assure his daughter that wasn't the case, though her frown just got deeper and deeper as he continued speaking.

“Okay, shut and listen up, freaks, perverts, murderers, I'm talking now. I just spoke to Heaven, to Sera. Heaven is currently under lock down, but I found out that a sinner – Pentious, was redeemed. He's in Heaven.” Adam stepped forward and said, unhappy about being the one to deliver the message.

The reaction was about as how he'd expect, with a moment of brief shock followed by an extremely high pitched squeal from Charlie, loud conversation, and a lot of flailing arm movements between the small group.

“I need to tell Cherri! She won't f*ckin’ believe it!” Angel was quick to pull out his phone, pacing in place as he began texting. Vaggie on the other hand was briefly distracted from her job of glaring, when Charlie grabbed her around the waist and spun her around the room. Some weird one eyed girl was just staring at him, which was. Odd.

“Didn’t I kill you?” She asked barely above a whisper. Had she been the one to stab him? He had no idea, he hadn’t seen the back stabber - but before Adam could respond, the sound of feedback was all the warning he got before Alastor stepped forward.

“Now that is splendid news – but I do have to question why you're the one delivering such tidings of joy, young lady?” Alastor tilted his head sharply to the side to the point it almost looked broken.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Adam saw all humor and nervousness vanish from Lucifer’s face, replaced by emptiness and eyes that burned gold.

“Charlie dear here brought up a fantastic point, that it is odd you have been dropped onto our doorstep so soon after the extermination. One might wonder if you're out for revenge? I wouldn't blame you, of course – though a lady such as yourself shouldn't ever shed tears over a man like Adam.”

Adam ground his teeth together, but he was equally annoyed by Lucifer stepping up beside him, like he was protecting him. “Radio Demon, that's quite enough-” Lucifer started to say, but Adam held out a hand.

“I fell, okay? I don't know why, it was probably related to Adam or the exterminations which I…had approved of.” Adam struggled on using past tense, still unsure of how he felt regarding the exorcists. He couldn't bring himself to think of any of the sinners he'd killed as innocent, by definition they weren’t if they were in hell. But, Adam did believe in redemption, in life anyway. A very long time ago. And he certainly needed to now.

“I need to be redeemed to go back to Heaven. Since Pentious was redeemed here…I don’t like you, but Lucifer convinced me that you're my best chance at going home. Even if you are annoying.” Adam admitted to the group, crossing his arms over his chest, unable to stop himself from tacking on the last comment.

Vaggie looked shocked, staring at him wide eyed. Charlie, on the other hand, sucked in air like a pufferfish, and all doubt vanished from her features. Alastor’s eyes narrowed, but he let the Princess move in front of him as Charlie launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around Adam in a tight hug. That felt f*ckin weird. He'd not been hugged in…well, since he was alive, probably. His kids hugged him from time to time, until they reached their teens. The angels didn't understand it, human affection, didn’t encourage it.

“Oh my gosh, of course you can stay here! I know this must be such a change for you, no wonder you're upset! Oh, oh, we have to make you a room obviously, and then we can do proper introductions, and I’ve been brainstorming a new song to-“ Charlie stumbled back as she began to ramble, bouncing in place. Over her shoulder Adam saw Vaggie let out a little laugh, as she smiled fondly at Charlie. He couldn't remember ever seeing her smile like that when she served under him. She'd shown up nameless as a new soldier under his ranks.

What kind of freak was happier in Hell?

Adam was so distracted, he didn't process Alastor moving in closer again, until his hand was grabbed. Everyone and everything in the room seemed to stop moving under threat of death as Alastor lifted Adam’s hand to his lips, pressing a short kiss to the back of it.

“Well then, pleasure to make your acquaintance, Eve.” Alastor spoke the words against his skin, making a shiver run down Adam’s spine, and not in a good way. God, he hated that freak. “Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I'm sure we could work something out.”

Adam pulled his hand back quickly, fighting the urge to cut off Alastor’s head. He knew better than to make a deal with a demon like him. “Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can, but you don't know Hell like I do! Wouldn't want you to stumble into Cannibal Town on accident!” Alastor laughed, before his tone dropped some. “They developed quite the taste for angels.”

Adam took in a sharp breath, realizing what must have happened to the fallen exorcists during the battle. His girls deserved better than that. f*ck, had his body been eaten too?

“Alastor DuBois.” Lucifer’s voice cut through the silence, and without saying a consonant more, the threat rang out clearly. Normally, Lucifer getting possessive over him would have been real f*cking annoying. But, Adam hated the radio demon. He felt a small grin curling over his lips, as Alastor’s eyes moved to Lucifer. The King of Hell was not happy. As pissed as Adam was at Lucifer, he would have cheered him on if he killed Alastor.

“Well now, it's been an awfully long time since I heard that name, your Highness. Am I not allowed to greet the great mother of humanity? I have the utmost respect for Eve, and the utmost sympathy for her position here.” Alastor practically purred the words out, but he did fold his arms behind his back. There was hate in his eyes as he looked at Lucifer, and Adam wondered what the rift was. Though, Alastor wouldn't be the first or the last sinner with delusions of grandeur, trying to take on the King of Hell.

“After all, none of us sinners here would exist without her, isn't that true?” Adam sneered at him for the comment, but Alastor continued, his focus still on Lucifer and his words laced with sweet venom. “Or, would that fault lay in your hands, as the man who fed her the poisoned apple?”

Horns tore through his scalp as Lucifer’s eyes changed color in a way Adam had never seen, like a fire burning and becoming hotter and hotter. The gold boiled into a deep red, but that grew brighter and brighter, until a familiar blue shade replaced it. The eyes on his face weren't the only ones, as eyes began to open across his body. It wasn't even a severe insult, but clearly something about it struck a nerve with Lucifer. He'd never seen Lucifer this angry before, even during their fight. It was strange to see Lucifer looking so much like he had in Eden, as though his angelic form was the truly dangerous one below the surface.

“Dad?” Charlie asked quietly, looking just as uncertain as the other hotel inhabitants. Lucifer didn't react to her voice. Adam sighed, before willing his guitar to his hands once more, bone building out of thin air as it cut the space between them.

“Enough of the dick measuring contest, assholes.” Adam cut in, mentally thinking his dick was probably bigger than both of theirs anyway. …Well, Lucifer had had the benefit of shape shifting when they'd slept together, but Adam didn't want to think about that night too much. He generally tried to pretend it hadn't happened.

Adam met Alastor’s eyes, making sure the sinner knew that Lucifer wasn't the only threat around here. “I'm not so attached to redemption yet that I wouldn't kill you, kid.”

Alastor paused, clearly thinking things over, both his eyes and the eye on his microphone moving down to Adam’s guitar. He backed down, but it seemed like the demon was never one without a final quip.

“You truly are like your husband, aren't you? How interesting. Let's hope you don't suffer the same fate.”

Chapter 8

Chapter Text

Adam rolled his eyes at the demon and the halfhearted threat, then looked back at Lucifer, expecting him to have dropped the whole scary face act – but instead, it seemed to have intensified. Adam felt a shiver run down his spine, as something whispered in the back of his mind that he wasn't truly meant to see an angel in such a state, not this form. The buzz in the air around them made the small hairs on the back of his neck stand up – an instinctive feeling warning of a predator nearby.

“You truly are the monster humanity believes you to be, aren't you?” Alastor grinned at him, and Adam wanted to smack the back of his head. Antagonizing Lucifer wasn't going to f*cking help.

Wings had uncurled from Lucifer's back, all six, and his body began to stretch out, limbs growing thinner, more jointed like a massive spider. His face elongated, and golden blood dripped from sharp teeth. Rings circling his body were dotted in red eyes opening their gaze in all directions. It was exhilarating and terrifying.

“What the f*ck is wrong with him?” Adam whispered under his breath, but Charlie heard, shaking her head.

"Did you threaten her?” Lucifer’s voice rattled out of his chest, layered with other voices that seemed to come from all around them.

The majority of his focus was on Alastor who had also seemed to recognize his undead life was at risk. As reacted as expected from an Overlord, spiked horns beginning to sprout from Alastor's head, as his neck grew longer, and Adam could have sworn he smelled earth and moss and death rolling off of him. He was certainly full of himself to call Lucifer a monster. Pot, kettle, Adam thought to himself.

If this went on, it’d be a bloodbath inside the hotel, and Adam wasn’t really looking to die again.

“Lucifer, f*cking calm down! I don't need your protection!” Adam yelled at the figure, but it had little affect. “Come on, you're not actually upset by this nothing of an Overlord, are you?”

Hundreds of eyes swirled and focused on Adam. He'd heard rumors, once from Sera, that Lucifer wasn't as trained as some of the other seraphim. He was powerful, but more raw. Since he didn't follow their rules, their commands, he was more prone to outbursts – ‘unfortunate dramatics’, she'd said. It was one reason he was not supposed to interact with Lucifer, or Lilith, or Charlie. Lucifer was dangerous. Had she meant this, though? Adam remembered Lucifer getting upset a few times in Eden, in the garden, but not- oh, oh wait.

Adam had a flash of a memory, he'd been upset over something Lilith had said, and they'd ended up yelling at one another, until Lucifer flew down. He'd tried to calm then down, focusing on Adam, who he thought was the antagonizer. ‘Instead of fighting, we should sing a song!’

Adam flushed red, but closed his eyes. It was a good thing they didn't know he was Adam, he'd never live this down. He opened his mouth and began to sing an old lullaby, a very old song in a language that didn't exist anymore. It was a silly little song, something about birds in the sky, fish in the water, and ducks waddling between both. Adam had sung it to his children from time to time, especially to Cain and Abel as they got older and began to bicker more. He'd sang it as Adam, and as Eve, but he'd not heard himself sing in this body in a very long time. His voice shook a bit at first, but Adam knew how to sing, he was confident in that.

Adam hadn’t done it to protect Alastor, he didn’t care about the sinner, but Adam had no idea what Lucifer was capable of were he to lose control in such a form. Hundreds of eyes focused on Adam, and they began to shut, like stars twinkling in the sky. Slowly, the rings reduced and vanished, until all that was left was the more familiar face of the King of Hell. He looked sad, tired, older than Adam remembered, and he didn't think angels aged. Whatever Alastor said had struck a nerve, on a different level than just a simple threat; Lucifer hadn’t lost control to that degree even when Adam was destroying the hotel

“I’m…” Lucifer paused as he glanced at Alastor. No, he didn't seem fully sorry, but he looked apologetic enough when his focus landed on Charlie. His face softened as he looked at his daughter, and Adam didn't doubt he loved her. “Sorry for scaring you, it's just been a…very long and complicated day.”

“No sh*t.” Adam huffed, only for Vaggie to elbow his side, shooting him a look. What, was he supposed to feel sorry for Lucifer? Adam was the person stuck here.

“I know, dad.” Charlie said softly, before looking at Adam. “Uh, so…dad, why don't you show Eve to a room maybe? I'm sure she’d like to rest. Or maybe she'd like to have a tour of the hotel?” Charlie suggested, the tension slowly leaving the room, but it was still thick enough to cut. Angel Dust looked a bit freaked out by Lucifer, as Husk patted his shoulder. Vaggie had moved to hiss something at Alastor, who tilted his head, before melting back into his shadow and vanishing.

Lucifer seemed somewhat hopeful that Adam would agree, clearly uncomfortable with what had just happened. Adam huffed, but relented, he didn't want to be stuck in the lobby any longer than he had to either.

“Fine, but I want a nice room. I’m talking king sized bed, jacuzzi, massage chairs would be nice too. If my room is smaller than the p*rn stars, I’m destroying this entire place.”

Charlie winced, but let out a small nervous laugh that showed how much she took after her father. “His name is Angel Dust actually, but we'll be doing introductions later. But the first rule, er, policy rather, is that we respect one another and use their names or what they'd like to be called!”

Ugh, Adam groaned mentally. Not like any of them were using his actual name.

“I don't mind p*rn star, actually, at least someone appreciates my job.” Angel Dust shrugged one of his shoulders, getting an eye roll from Vaggie. Adam thought Angel seemed okay, actually, for a sinner.

“Quick question, and at risk of setting him off again, but-” Husk said, looking directly at Adam and lifting an accusatory finger. “If she's here, how in Satan's name do we know Adam won't come back either? Lucifer might be able to kill him, but what if he brings a larger army next time, now that they know what they’re up against. Shouldn’t we be preparing, just in case?”

They were a bit past, ‘just in case', Adam thought to himself. Adam walked amongst the lions in the lionden.

“Adam was killed by a weapon made of angelic steel. It should be enough to permanently kill him. Eve wasn't killed, right, she fell.” Vaggie said in her usual no nonsense manner. Adam didn't say a word to correct her. “Pentious was killed by Adam, but not using his axe. I'm guessing that's why Pentious could show up in Heaven, but I doubt Adam would.”

“How do you know that angels don't just reform in Heaven if they're killed with angelic weaponry? Sinners killed by Hellborn made materials respawn, right?” Angel Dust asked, looking uncertain.

“Even if they could, Adam's body was entirely destroyed.” Lucifer’s voice was thick with exhaustion, rough like he'd not spoken in days. “I had his ashes released on earth, where the garden used to be.”

Adam had goosebumps crawl across his skin, like spiders wrapping him in a silk burial shroud. His old body was entirely gone? How many times would his body decay? Pentious died and was redeemed, would he have to die in this body too?

“Also, if he did manage to come back, now Adam knows we're not going down without a fight!” Charlie looked proud of herself, hands on her hips. Adam was still pretty sure he could kill all of them except Lucifer, but he'd let her think what she wanted right now.

“Lute will likely want revenge, though, but that's something we can talk about later. For now the exterminations are clearly cancelled, even more so now that we know Pentious was redeemed.” Vaggie said, eye moving to Adam. “If you're to be believed, anyway.”

“I don’t like it anymore than you do, sweetheart, but if you don't believe me – go set up a meeting with Heaven, if you can.” Adam shrugged a shoulder, and she glared. "What? They're not talking to me anymore."

“Oh, I wonder if Emily will be open to letting us see Pentious. She seemed nice!” Charlie mused to the group, but Adam looked at Lucifer instead. He still looked downtrodden and pathetic, not even really listening to what was going on around him. It was insufferable to know this had been the man to beat him.

“So, are you going to show me to a room or what? I bet Smiles would be glad to show me.” Adam met Lucifer’s eyes, then nodded his head towards where Alastor had been, until a glimmer of anger sparked in the red once more.

“Follow me,” Lucifer said quietly as another portal opened.

The room was basic, unlike Lucifer’s, styled similarly to the rest of the hotel. It wasn’t particularly large, just a bed, table, and bookshelf, all bathed in red. From the sky outside to the color of the wallpaper and carpets, it was all red.

Lucifer waved a hand, and it the wood cracked and creaked, moving outward away from them as the floor expanded. The colors shifted from red to the hues of purple, golds, blues, and pinks. It was almost a little too accurate to what Heaven looked like, but Adam wasn’t going to complain when he realized the bed had expanded to actually fit him. The frame was golden and it curled upwards to make a canopy. Thin delicate fabrics rolled down off of it, sparkling with light. A couch was added next to the window overlooking the city, and it seemed like Lucifer had deemed to give Adam his own large bathroom area.

It was honestly larger than his home in heaven, since pious people weren't supposed to want large sprawling mansions. Bullsh*t, in Adams opinion. He hadn't been the first man and parent of humanity to end up in just a tiny apartment in Heaven.

“Is it okay?” Lucifer asked him.

Adam walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at the ceiling. There was a fake sky there, not of Hell, or Heaven, but of earth. Clouds rolled across the deep blue sky slowly, stars twinkled, and Adam felt transfixed. He'd not seen it like this in so long. Seeing the sky like this made the rest of the room seem a bit wrong, too clean, too perfect. It was too heavenly, he realized.

“Eve?”

Adam hummed, acknowledging he'd heard him. “Could use some plants.”

With another wave of the hand, greenery sprouted around him – well, sort of green. Hell born plants were a bit spicier than on earth, darker greens, reds, black, and purple. A few seemed to be snapping at each other, with a mind of their own, but Adam like it.

“It'll do,” Adam mused with a half smile.

“That’s good.” Lucifer said slowly, standing awkwardly a few feet away. “So, I’ll. Uh. Go then?”

Adam took him in, his posture, his expression. Lucifer wanted to say something, maybe explain why he'd gone so postal before. Truth be told, Adam wanted to know why too. What on earth was going through Lucifer's mind?

But, he couldn't bring himself to ask. Not yet. He'd had about his fill of the Morningstar.

“Yeah, bye.” Adam, shooed him away with his hand, making motions towards the door. Lucifer looked disappointed at his response, closing his eyes and nodding his head, but he stopped just before walking through the door.

“…Where did you hear that song? I only taught it to Adam and Lilith.” Lucifer asked him, and Adam froze on the bed.

“Adam sang it to the kids.” Adam responded quickly enough, not needing to lie. Lucifer looked surprised by the answer, which infuriated Adam. “ You know, Adam…Adam used to care about you. You have no idea how badly you hurt him.”

Me, Adam thought to himself, bitterness filling his heart. You hurt me, he thought.

Lucifer opened his mouth, then closed it. As he left the room, Adam heard him whisper out, “I guess I am a monster.”

Adam fell backwards on the bed, staring at the ceiling, pinpricks of tears stinging his eyes. “f*ck,” Adam breathed out, chest feeling tight. He wiped at his eyes, and when he opened them, one big eye was staring down at him.

And a dagger tip was pressed against his throat.

Chapter 9

Chapter Text

“Hi,” the redheaded girl grinned at him toothily, leaning over him. Her knee dug into Adam’s ribs, but she was so small it wasn't much weight. Who was she again? Nimey? Nimbley? Nimbus? Adam couldn't remember what the f*ck her name was.

“Why aren't you dead? I'm pretty sure I stabbed you. I like stabbing.” She asked, pushing the blade in, just enough to break the skin. Adam's heartbeat ticked up, until he could practically see it. He was stronger than her, no doubt, but it would be a crapshoot if he could throw her off faster than she could drive the blade fully in.

“I did a really good job and killed all the angels, especially the biggest angel. It makes me sad you’re not dead anymore, they're going to second guess my work! I can't have that, a good wife takes pride in keeping a clean house.” She complained, sighing with exuberance. “Plus, you used to be a bad boy, but now you have these chest lumps. Your tit* are bigger than Vaggie’s. She's very sensitive about it, so I have to kill you again.”

“Well, you're not wrong about that… but, I'm not an angel anymore? I'm also…” Adam paused, wondering if his last words would be, 'I’m Eve,' which seemed really f*cking unfair. “I did die, so… you did a great job?”

She hummed to herself, pondering it. “Are you sure you're not an angel? Your blood is gold. it's really pretty, I’d like see more of it.” She moved the dagger more sideways, until it dragged a straight line across Adam’s throat shallowly. She licked her lips and Adam’s blood ran cold. What the f*ck was this chick?

“...Vaggie and Lucifer are fallen angels too, but you can't kill them, right? Because they're residents of the hotel? Like me?” Adam gasped out, hand beginning to bunch into the blankets, his guitar forming slowly as not to startle her. He'd get one shot at this, if he had to kill her. Killing her would probably also be a death sentence though, once the rest of the hotel found out about it.

She seemed to sit and think about that, her pupil moving back and forth like she was having an internal conversation with herself. “...I guess not. Vaggie was really upset when I pulled out a couple of her feathers…you really think I’m not a bad cleaner?”

“You’re amazing at it, I was super dead. In fact, you deserve a raise. You should go tell them you work for nothing less than.. Uh whatever it is that you like that isn’t stabbing people.” Adam assured her with false saccharinity. She beamed with joy at the compliment, in a way that would have made her look cute, like a Pomeranian, if Adam hadn’t known she was his murderer.

“I guess I'll just take this instead!” She chirped and launched forward. Adam’s eyes got wide, but he didn't move fast enough before she grabbed up a huge chunk of his hair and sliced it cleanly off.

“Thank you, my collection needed a friend. Bye bye!” She jumped off of Adam’s bed and ran to the door, turning to wave at him happily before she vanished.

Adam stared in horror at the now empty doorway as it swung closed like a guillotine hitting the ground, feeling blood drip down his now cold neck.

“What the f*ck is she? Who the f*ck is she?” Adam whispered to himself, heart pounding still. He reached up to touch the shallow cut on his throat, then over to the missing space his hair had been.

“f*cking psycho c*nt,” Adam hissed as pushed off the bed and padded into the bathroom.

He had to hand it to Lucifer, he did go above and beyond when it came to showmanship. The bathroom was similar colors to the rest of the room, but a bit moodier, darker blues and purple hues, offset by gold that caught the light of a massive chandelier. It hung above a hefty porcelain clawed bathtub that looked out over a window, and he'd not forgotten the plants in here either. Heart shaped leaves climbed the walls, and something like a palm fern grew in the corner near the tub. Candles were scattered around in varying sizes, burning a low blue flame the moment Adam entered the room, filling the space with the scent of sandalwood and rose.

But Adam was only momentarily taken in by that side of the bathroom, his attention was mostly on the ornate mirror above a white marbled sink. Adam hadn't really fully ever gotten used to looking at himself, like this. He took in the side of his hair that was cut short now, looking more like his normal hair. The rest was still long, and it look disjointed, out of sync with the rest of him.

“Ugh, I don't suppose he-“ Adam pulled open a drawer under the sink, and raised his eyebrows practically into his hairline. “Okay, nevermind.”

It was stocked full. Nail polish, tooth brush and paste, cotton swabs, hair curlers, body lotion, clippers, face creams of varying assortment, eye drops, pain reliever, bath bombs shaped like ducks, hair care, pads and tampons and cups. Lube? Adam picked up the bottle that was clearly from the Lust ring. It had a weird little jester clown man on the picture. Ignoring that, more importantly, the drawer had a pair of scissors.

Adam picked them up, and looked up at himself in the mirror again. He grabbed hold of a handful of brown hair and took a deep breath before chopping. He went from one tentative chop to aggressively cutting at it, and for some reason it nearly brought him to tears. He was breathing hard when he looked back up at himself. It didn't really look better, jagged and longer strings hanging down. It was shorter on all sides now, closer to Lute’s hair length, though the side the weird girl cut was still the shorter.

Adam looked down at a short piece of hair that had fallen onto the marble of the sink, and pinched it between his fingers. Gently, he pressed it onto his chin, looking at himself to try and see some semblance of the person he knew himself to be. He remembered when his facial hair first started coming in, outside of Eden, and then for years he grew out a thick beard until it grew white with age.

The hair fell off his skin with nothing but golden ichor to stick too and Adam broke the mirror with a sob.

He made his way back to the bed, chest feeling tight the entire way until he could lay down, curling in on himself and letting the stars pass overhead.

Adam woke up and saw white skin, red cheeks, blond hair, and red eyes. He jerked back, ready to yell at Lucifer again – but as his eyes focused, the actual face became clearer. Charlie looked apologetic at the side of his bed, but much like her father, she still stood there anyway.

“Hi, Eve. I'm really sorry, it’s just…you've been asleep for three entire days, and we were starting to get really worried? Dad said you wouldn't want him checking on you, so I drew the short- er...” Charlie trailed off looking a bit awkward. “Well, uh, you're awake now! So, whenever you're ready, or hungry, I can show you around, do introductions-“

Adam exhaled out a long groan as he rolled over, facing away from her, tugging the deep purple blankets up around his body like a cocoon.

“…Um. Are you okay? Your hair is uh very interesting? Very avant-garde?”

“Your freaky little cyclops cut off a chunk. I tried to even it out, but clearly it didn't work. Go away.” Adam mumbled into his arms, trying to cover his face.

“Wait, which one- oh, Niffty did that to you? Oh no, I’m so sorry, she does like to take trophies…I think we've all lost a piece of something to her by now. I woke up with a piece of hoof missing once. I'm make sure she doesn’t do that again, or I'll have Alastor tell her not to because she definitely doesn't listen to me; but I'll let you sleep more now if you need it.” Charlie said, far too loudly and cheerfully for Adam to actually fall back asleep. Niffty was a stupid f*cking name, he could have come up with something better than that.

“Why do you even care if I sleep forever, you hated me when I first showed up here. Shouldn’t you be happy I’m not around?” Adam mumbled into his arms, staring at the far wall.

“I didn’t hate you...Well, maybe a little, but it was just so soon after the extermination, I still felt awful and guilty after Pentious died. I thought it was my fault, you know, that I was the reason Adam targeted the hotel.” Adam didn't respond. It was her fault, though more so it was Lucifer’s fault Adam attacked the hotel first.

“Then you showed up here, and we didn't know if Heaven was going to attack again so soon after the battle; plus I just sort of got my dad back, we hadn't talked much for a long time and then he's acting all head over heels around you, which is just…” Charlie said it all extremely quickly, fast enough that Adam sat up on an elbow to look back at her. “…My parents have been split for a long time now, and they hadn’t been happy for even longer, but…it's still weird to see, watching my dad look at someone else like he looked at you. I remember when my mom and dad were in love.” Charlie finished awkwardly, scratching at her cheek.

“Lucifer and I are not happening, I can tell you that. Not now, not ever. So don’t worry your pretty very blonde little head about it.” Adam said with some venom, not giving a sh*t about how Lucifer looked at him. He was never actually looking at him.

“I thought you two-“ Charlie started, but Adam cut her off.

“Ancient history, and we both have extremely different feelings on what happened back then. To me…” Adam thought back on finding the garden empty. Devoid of sound, people, anything. “Trusting Lucifer was the biggest mistake of my entire life, and now I've lost everything because of him. Again.”

Charlie was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again her tone was much softer. “Do you want to talk to me, or someone about Adam? I know I didn't particularly like him, at all, whatsoever…but it must be hard to lose someone you cared about. The father of your children…”

“No, I don't want to f*cking talk to you about Adam.” Adam snapped, chest still feeling tight, a vice around his lungs. Charlie held up her hands in defense. “I don’t…I'm not…. Adam wasn't a bad person, okay? He never hurt a single living person. He worked really hard, he was strong, he taught the kids to read and write – how to f*cking survive. And he sang to them, he…he really liked to sing.”

Adam’s vision swam. Would he ever hear his own voice again?

“The exterminations wasn’t all who he was, it was such a tiny portion of his life and afterlife. You don't know anything about him. Lucifer didn’t, Vaggie didn’t. I'm the only one.” Adam looked away from her, not wanting to look weak in front of Lucifer’s f*cking brat. He could feel the bed dip as she sat down on the edge of it beside him.

“Eve, I'm really sorry everything turned out the way it did...maybe if we'd been able to talk to Heaven more, this wouldn't have ended with so much pain. I’m truly sorry for your loss.” Charlie told him, leaning in to hug Adam. He froze up again, but his shoulders slowly dropped, and the tightness in his chest lessened.

He thought Charlie was insufferable, maybe he still did, but like this, she sort of reminded him of his oldest daughter, Miriam. She was very sweet, when she was little she cried over worms that were eaten, then cried when the birds who ate the worms were caught by snakes. Adam tried to tell her that's just the way things were, but she didn't listen. Even as she got older, she still had the same attitude towards things. She'd tried to reach out to Adam in Heaven, but it was just hard. Hard to face any of them.

“…Could you cut my hair?” Adam asked her. “I don't want to go downstairs looking like this. Your dad would probably go ballistic again.”

Charlie smiled brightly at him, and for the next twenty minutes, Adam sat on the edge of his bathtub as Charlie snipped at his hair. She hummed as she did it, and while Adam recognized the song from Lucifer, but he didn't mention it.

“So, you know, you’re really different than I expected. When I heard about Eve, it was always in the context of how you were treated poorly by Adam, then by Heaven, punished for nothing more than accepting the apple…” Charlie said, taking a moment to brush out Adam’s hair. “I always thought Adam was…how do I say this? Horrifically sexist.”

Adam looked out the window, the red sky that didn't seem to really ever change. He could see the glow of Heaven, way off up in the sky. “He treated women the same way he treated men. He wasn't sexist.”

“Agree to disagree,” Charlie said lightly, and Adam rolled his eyes.

“Look, honey, Adam and Lilith were created for a purpose, but Lilith didn’t agree. Adam followed the rules like he was supposed to, he wanted her to follow those rules too. Not to control her, just because that's what they were made to do. It wasn't like it was always sunshine and daisies, but that's what it was meant to be. Adam wasn't sexist for following orders from female angels, was he? No. If Adam is sexist, then Heaven is too.” Adam told her, crossing his arms, trying not to get too defensive. A bunch of higher up seraphim were women, and that's why the exorcists were all women, it was a female angel creating them up in Diligence.

“Maybe they are? Maybe…those rules weren't fair?” Charlie asked, pausing as she brushed. “My dad was punished for being a free spirit too, then my mother was long before you ate the apple - and now that we know sinners can be redeemed, doesn’t that suggest that…maybe some of Heavens rules should be challenged? Should be changed? Maybe angels can be wrong.”

Adam stewed in her words, chewing on them in his mind. Of course it wasn’t fair, but that's just the way things were. Adam, Lucifer, none of them would exist without Heaven.

“All I know is the last time a Morningstar convinced me things should change, I ended up kicked out of the garden.” Adam said, feet cold on the porcelain of the tub. “Did Lilith feel birthing pain? I did. It f*cking sucks, Charlie! Seth was a f*cking 27 hour long labor! 27 f*cking hours! No midwife! I wouldn't have had to deal with that if I hadn't eaten the stupid apple.”

“…Why were you punished for taking an apple of knowledge, if you didn’t and couldn't know better yet? It wasn't your fault evil entered the world, it doesn't even seem right.” Charlie met his eyes in the reflection of the glass. “Otherwise, why was my father outcast before Hell was created? Doesn't something not quite add up to you?”

Maybe, Adam thought to himself, but it sat in his stomach like a rock. He wasn't meant to question Heaven like this.

“Anyway! I think I’m done. It was still so short on that side, sorry again about Niffty, but I thought you might like a sort of half shaved sort of situation. It's kind of…hip, right?” Charlie announced, moving her chair back so Adam could stand up and get out of the tub.

“Don't say hip ever again.” Adam said without thinking about it.

“Hey…I don't look like Lilith, right?” Adam asked her, his head feeling lighter than it had.

“Not at all,” Charlie answered.

Good enough for now, he supposed.

Chapter 10

Chapter Text

Charlie had gone out of the room to wait while Adam changed, which left Adam to wonder what his wardrobe was filled with. He didn't know if it was filled at all, but he assumed Lucifer hadn’t passed up the chance to dress him. He half expected to either see a dainty sheer number, or a jester costume upon opening the heavy wooden door, but Adam was pleasantly surprise by what he saw.

He grabbed out one robe, or dress, a loose linen that looked a bit like a kaftan in black with a purple interlocking pattern around the collar and long flowing sleeves. The rest of the clothes were similar, loose like his old robes, but nothing was quite a one for one. He did see one that he didn't hate, a cream colored sheet of fabric with gold threaded patterns across it, and a see through veil of muted purples and blues. It felt a bit too much right now, like the rest of his life, so he thought the black and purple was good enough.

There were shoes in a rack too, of varying types. Adam actually normally wore high heeled boots, mostly because Lute once said it made his ass look good and that groupies would probably like it; being able to fly, it wasn't like they hurt his feet to wear either – but now, Adam gravitated towards a pair he saw near the bottom. A simple woven sandal, like one he'd worn outside of the garden, outside of Eden. Adam grabbed them, slipping them on before heading out the door.

Charlie chattered at him all the way into the dining room, waving her arms animatedly as she talked about all her plans for attracting sinners for redemption. Most of them were plainly awful, and Adam just did what he usually did when a woman talked to him and just tuned her out with the occasional, “yeah, uh huh, sure, totally.”

It didn't occur to him until they were nearly there that Charlie had a few similarities with Abel, though his son had been far more reserved. Sweet, cheerful, but quieter. Maybe it was just because Charlie was a woman that he didn't see it at first, but then other similarities began to sink in. It was strange to think she was technically Abel’s half sister. As she talked, Adam started to picture Abel laughing around the campfire, talking about something one of the sheep had done that day, getting stuck in something or other. He supposed Charlie too, was a type of shepherd for sinners.

He couldn't sit in his thoughts for long, as they entered the dining hall.

Lucifer was the first one Adam noticed, at the head of a black table. He looked shocked to see Adam, cheeks full of whatever he'd been eating. He seemed like he was about to say something, but ended up coughing on food, wheezing to himself with only Vaggie there to awkwardly lean over and pat him on the back. How on earth was this man the ruler of Hell, and how had he not been assassinated yet?

“Eve! I, I'm glad to see- you look- did you sleep, er- how about pancakes?!” Lucifer got out, stumbling over his words. Adam just raised an eyebrow as Lucifer’s forced smile seemed to fray at the edges.

“Hey there sleeping beauty, glad to see you’re not dead.” Angel Dust purred out first to him, as Charlie went over to sit between Vaggie and the spider. Next to Lucifer sat Husk, then the Niffty freak, then Alastor. Which left Adam between the deer and Angel Dust, a fact that seemed to be dawning on Lucifer in sudden real time, as the depth of his frown seemed to pull his features fully down his face.

Alastor took quick notice both of Lucifer's expression and of Adam, and stood, pulling out Adam's chair for him with a small bow.

“A true gentleman must never keep a lady waiting,” Alastor smiled pleasantly at him, but Adam felt he'd sing a different tune if he knew who Adam was. “I do hope you had a pleasant rest, my dear. A good night sleep is the first step to a wonderful day!”

“I'm like your grandma, don't get weird with me.” Adam said flatly, but he sat anyway. Lute was usually the one who pulled his seat out for him. He was the first man, the progenitor of humanity, he deserved to have his chair pulled out for him.

“Wouldn't dream of it.” Alastor retorted, but judging by the flash of color change in Lucifer’s eyes, the King didn't believe him.

“Wow, what happened to your hair?” Niffty asked wide eyed, leaning forward on her elbows. “You look really stupid now!”

It took every fiber of his being to not jump onto the table and strangle her. “You happened to it, you little c*nt.” Adam snapped, balling up his fists. Niffty seemed to think about it, before laughing to herself.

“Oh, right! That was really fun.”

“Okay, um. Eve? Remember how we talked about using names?” Charlie said, trying to smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes. “And maybe not using demeaning language towards women? See, when you say things like that, it implies you see women as lesser.”

Adam rolled his eyes, but just scooched his chair in closer to the table. He supposed she'd have an issue if he’d called Niffty a dickhe*d too.

“So, I have to ask-“ Angel Dust started to say, leaning forward to talk to Adam, before both Vaggie and Charlie tried to yell for him to stop. “Was f*cking Adam like f*cking your twin? Like, was it weird? Or did you just not look at each other during? He seems like he'd be a hair puller, you know, spit on you then cum in your eye kind of guy.”

“Can you not at the table, Angel?! We’re eating!” Vaggie hissed, half standing so she could glare at him better.

Lucifer also looked a bit green, putting his fork down. As much as Adam wanted to rile them all up, he didn't really want to talk in depth about f*cking himself either. He knew if he got defensive and started calling himself the best lay in Heaven, they might get suspicious – and truth be told, he was a pretty lazy lover, but he didn't want to admit that either otherwise Lucifer would get weird about it.

Angel Dust laughed at Vaggie’s outburst, but he agreed with a quiet, “fine, fine. I'll get it out of her eventually, though.”

The room eventually fell quiet, leaving Adam to just look down at the plate that had been left for him. Pancakes, shaped into cute little bear faces with chocolate chips and berries. Sliced fruit sat next to it, plus eggs over easy. Adam lifted his knife and cut into one and watched the yellow spill from the center until his stomach turned. He decided to eat the pancakes instead. They were soft, sweet, fluffy, and perfect – maybe better than what he'd had in Heaven.

“It's not too sweet for you, is it, my dear?” Alastor leaned over, clearly not having taken a bite of his meal, which had no design in it and seemed like it might have even been a bit burnt. “Lucifer seems unable to make a proper healthy breakfast.”

Lucifer made these? Adam wasn’t hugely surprised by that, he used to make things for them back in the garden, but Alastor's reaction to it did, not to mention he was still trying to get in Adam’s good graces for some reason. This was Hell, wasn’t it? Who gave a f*ck about calories?

“Health food blows. All the food in Heaven is sweet, or salty, or fatty, deep fried, whatever. Whatever everyone wants. Tons of ice cream.” Adam said, taking another bite, ignoring how Lucifer’s expression softened as he continued eating. “No one cares about healthy food up there, it's all amazing and everyone is hot. That's why it's Heaven.”

Adam said it flippantly enough, but slowed down as he chewed. Truth be told, he…rarely looked at himself without his mask, without his robes. He didn't really like to think about himself. It’d gotten to the point where he saw the mask as his face, his person, his true identity. Skin, flesh - it all felt lesser in Heaven.

“Well, I’m sure none of it holds a candle to any of my mother's recipes. Though for all I know they've hired her as a chef up there! I’m sure she could teach them a thing or two!” Alastor said with a confident laugh, and Adam was starting to wonder if there was a reason the man seemed to be trying to get in his good graces. Mommy issues, or daddy issues, or both, Adam pondered, biting into a blueberry. “I'm sure you cooked for your children as well, as a mother should.”

“Adam cooked everything,” Adam said, looking away. It wasn't totally true, but it was close enough. He did do most of the cooking in his preferred form, until his children got old enough, then they took over. “In the mornings…just as the sun was coming up, Adam could go to the river and fish, then he'd tend the fields. He'd sleep mid day, then bring back what he had.”

Adam poked at his pancake, stabbing through a berry eye of the bear. He remembered always feeling tired, his back always hurting, the constant throwing of nets, raking the soil, carrying water back and forth, gutting fish in the heat of the sun, only sleeping when it was hottest out. When Cain and Abel were little, he'd have to do all of that with them strapped to his back, or carried at his hip. Then, he had to do it all over again, alone, with Seth, Miriam…

“I’d prepare food. Grind grains, pound tubers, mix bread, boil water for food and tea. It was all grueling, backbreaking labor.” Adam mused to himself, before taking another bite, looking up to meet Lucifer’s eyes. “Life really f*cking sucked outside of the garden.”

Lucifer met his eyes with regret painted all over his face, he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but thought against it. A group breakfast wasn’t the place.

“I'm shocked Adam didn't make you do all the work.” Vaggie said with a scowl, but it wasn't directed at Adam. Or, it was, just not that she knew. “When I was serving under the exorcists, he did nothing but sit on his ass and make us run laps, or make us do the paperwork.”

Yeah, Adam thought to himself with a small smile, that was pretty f*cking funny. He'd sometimes toss popcorn at them as they ran. He had to talk Lute out of throwing a wrench at new trainees.

“Let’s maybe talk about something lighter? Maybe not about Adam?” Charlie suggested, looking around the table. “Oh, I know! Let's do some bonding exercises later, I think we could try trust falls again!”

Niffty stood up in her chair, looking excited. “Yes! Please, I can't wait!” Then she proceeded to fling herself off the chair, face first onto the ground. No one attempted to catch her. No one fully seemed to notice or care. Was this a usual thing here, or…

“You get used to it,” Angel Dust said, noticing Adam's expression. “Niffty’s got more screws loose than a molasses tank in Massachusetts, but she’s mostly harmless.”

“No the f*ck she is not,” Husk said, finally glancing down at her. Adam had to agree. “None of y'all have seen what she’s capable of. I still have nightmares of the screams. Just be glad she's on a leash too.”

“Uh, Charlie, sweetheart. Look, I sort of promised Eve that she wouldn't have to do trust falls.” Lucifer told his daughter, looking somewhat regretful. “I wasn’t honestly expecting it to come up so soon, or at all. I mean, who would want to fall into the arms of any of these- er, well, I can’t force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Everything has already been hard enough on her as it is.”

Adam didn't really need Lucifer speaking up for him, but in this instance, it was probably better if it came from him than Adam. He didn't suspect Charlie would take it lying down-

Charlie looked momentarily disappointed, but it didn't stop her for too long. “That's okay! Eve doesn't have to participate, she can just watch! I think it'll be important for her to see. We’re trying to build trust, build relationships, so watching it happen to the people around you is just part of the journey!”

“If she does decide to participate, I'm sure one of us will be glad to catch her.” Alastor said with a bright smile, chin in the palm of his hands. “One of us who won’t let her down, leaving her to fall again, hmm?” He didn't look at Lucifer for the last jab, but everyone else slowly did, including the snake on Lucifer’s hat.

“Yes, I'm sure she’ll trust you,” Lucifer drawled, waving a hand with a fork in it. “The cannibalistic bus boy with one expression. How many angels did you eat again?”

“None, this time.” Alastor tilted his head. “How many women have you driven away?”

“Okay,” Charlie pushed away from the table. “I definitely think maybe breakfast is done?”

“Aww, but I was enjoying the drama.” Angel Dust pouted. “I’d love it if a King and an Overlord was fightin’ for me. It's like a forbidden romance, y’know?”

“You take them.” Adam said, trying not to focus too much on what Lucifer had said.

How many of his girls had been eaten? f*ck, he really should have trained them better, at least as soon as they found out they could be killed, but Adam himself didn't have much in the way of training. Sure, it was fun to toss things at them as they exercised, but part of it was he just didn't really know how. Not like anyone was going to war when he was alive, hard to do with only a handful of humans existed and they were all related. Then in Heaven, Adam was stronger than most everyone. With the exception of the Seraphim, Adam was stronger than any other human, minor angel, or Heavenborn. His fighting style was just overpowering the enemy, and that's all he needed. Slash and burn.

Adam finished eating silently, up in his own head, until the plate was clean. When he looked up, only Angel Dust was left at the table.

“They're setting up the stage, I let them do all of that stuff.” Angel shrugged a shoulder. “They says I don't do it right, mess everything up. Oldest trick in the book to get out of doing sh*t you don't wanna do. Just f*ck it up a few times.”

Adam smiled against his own will, not wanting to bond with these freaks, but the p*rn star wasn't wrong. “I used to f*ck up my paperwork in Heaven all the time, until Sera eventually made, ah, someone else do it. Lots of paperwork in Heaven.” Adam caught himself before saying Lute, not sure how that would go down, if Angel Dust would end up asking why he was so close to the exorcist as, ‘Eve.’

“Like Adam?” Angel Dust asked, and Adam froze. “Vaggie just said Adam got her to do the paperwork too, so you two musta really been alike, huh?”

“Well, I was made from him.” Adam countered, but he wasn't sure if it was enough. That was way too close, and Angel Dust looked like he was pondering his answer.

“Hey, you two. We're starting.” Vaggie poked her head into the room, barking out the words like she was prone to. She'd made a great drill sergeant, back in the day.

Angel Dust got up and stretched his arms, only part of his meal gone on his plate, which didn't shock Adam. The p*rn star was thin, even in comparison to the rest of the inhabitants here.

“Y’know, it's really not too bad. Doing the trust falls. I know it's a little corny, but so is this whole place. But, you get used to it, and eventually… it's kind of endearing? My family, apart from my sister, was kind of a nightmare. Then I fell into a new kind of nightmare down here. But, these people, they treat me good, and that's worth something. You'll see.” Angel Dust said with a smile, looking down at Adam, before he made his way in the direction Vaggie had been.

“Not f*ckin' likely,” Adam mumbled to himself, before similarly pushing away from the table. He glanced down at his empty plate and pictured the little happy bear face that had been there, before throwing a napkin on top of it and walking away.

Adam found the stage area, a big open room with a dedicated platform, banners, and balloons hung up around the room. He looked up to see Lucifer flying, creating more decorations around the high ceilings. Charlie was on the stage, pointing at things for him to do.

“Last time we did this, it looked like sh*t." Husk mused from a couch, nursing a drink in his hand. “They did it right in the lobby, f*cked up my bar for it. With the hotel reopening, they decided on a dedicated room just for…trust exercises.”

“You hate them too?” Adam asked, and Husk let out a huff.

“I ain’t here willingly. The Radio Demon has my soul.” Husk said, glancing over towards the corner where Alastor was lurking. Before the Overlord noticed, Husk looked back at the stage, towards where Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust stood. “…But, you know, it's not all bad. Just the f*cking trust falls.”

“Okay, that looks great, dad!” Charlie called up to Lucifer who in the blink of an eye appeared back down on the ground, wings folded in. “So, as I said last time, and now for our new guest at the hotel. Trust falls mean revealing something of yourself to the group, then falling backwards and letting them catch you!”

“So, I'll go first. Last time we were here, I said I trusted everyone, but that wasn't fully true. I still struggle with it sometimes, I struggle with feeling bitter and angry, but I’m trying to improve.” Charlie told the group, before turning around and without warning falling backwards. Vaggie, Lucifer, and Angel caught her. Charlie looked thrilled with what had happened as she got down. “Okay, now, everyone gets to take turns!”

Adam watched for a few minutes as the main group went back and forth, with the noticeable exception of both Lucifer and Alastor. Adam watched until Vaggie came over his way, and leaned against the wall next to Adam. Great, Adam thought to himself. Debbie f*cking downer wanted to talk to him. She'd been a great soldier, but she was always so strict, always talking about doing the right thing.

“…I don't know how much of the exterminations you participated in, or if you ever trained with any of the exorcists. But, I realized doing these, that it’s not that far off from some of my training.” Vaggie said, watching as Niffty flung herself off the staff, the small girl looking disappointed when she was caught. “We had these team building exercises that was basically just getting tossed into the deep end with a bunch of girls you didn't know, and hoping you survived. I think Adam was just lazy and didn't want to actually train us, but it worked. For awhile…”

Adam said nothing. She wasn't exactly wrong, training a bunch of newbies was boring as f*ck; but it's how he learned too, getting forced out of the garden. Trial by fire.

“I think people don't realize that trust falls aren't about immediately and innately trusting someone. It's about opening up yourself to fall, knowing you might hit the ground - because when someone sees that, they realize they can trust you.” Vaggie said, glancing up at him from her good eye. “In the end, you’ve given some power over yourself to another person, and they in turn do the same for you.”

“Sounds really f*cking dumb.” Adam said, and Vaggie smiled a bit, before looking back towards the stage.

“Maybe, but when it mattered, these people had my back, and the angels I trained with didn’t. The exorcists cut off my wings, my friends gave them back. Maybe you can get yours back some day.” She said, before pushing off from the wall to go back in time for Charlie to fall again. Adam watched for a minute longer, wondering how many of the angels would have his back.

Lute? Maybe not if she found him like this, not as Eve, but as a sinner. He remembered how quickly she'd been to cut out Vaggie’s eye.

Sera clearly didn’t care about him any longer.

Would anyone in Hell, though? Not if they knew who he actually was. His chest felt tight again. Was it possible they could forgive him one day? Did he want their forgiveness? Did he think he needed to be forgiven?

“Hey Eve,” Husk called, getting his attention and snapping him out of his thoughts. “Angel just bet me you were too chicken to do a trust fall. You’re not going to let that stand, are you? Some young punk underestimating you?”

Adam stared blankly for a minute, before frowning. No the f*ck he wasn’t, he wasn't a f*cking coward, it was just a stupid f*cking idea! He wasn’t going to be baited into-

“Fine!” Adam hissed, stomping over to the stage and taking the steps up two at a time. When he got to the top and looked down, Adam made a face like he was sucking on a lemon, because of course Lucifer stood front and center; arms wide, eyes bright. He looked way too excited about all of this.

“Don't worry, Eve, I'll catch you no matter what!” Lucifer called up to him, and Adam pondered throwing a shoe at him.

“Say something about yourself that you've never revealed before!” Vaggie yelled with a grin, goading him on. “Or are you scared of that too?”

Adam fumed at the implied insult, trying to think. He couldn't just yell that he was Adam before plummeting to what would definitely be the floor if he went that route. But it needed to be personal enough that they might not force him to do it again.

“…I don’t…really like how I look, ever. I've not felt actually attractive to anyone in…a long time.” Adam said flatly before turning around, staring at the wall for a second before exhaling and letting himself fall backwards.

The next few fractions of a second became chaos. While he’d been expecting Lucifer to catch him, out of the corner of his eyes, Adam saw a black tentacle rising from the ground, shooting towards him. Then, he heard Lucifer yell, “oh, don't you dare!”

Adam felt like he was falling a bit longer than expected, waiting for Lucifer to grab him, but it didn’t come. But, he didn't fall to the floor, someone caught him. Adam felt some shock at seeing Vaggie’s face above his own, those she was clearly struggling to hold him up. But there was a grip on his toe too, and he looked down the length of his legs to find Lucifer holding onto Adam’s pinky toe, while fighting off Alastor’s shadows.

“See, I caught you!” Lucifer breathed out, looking a little manic, as a last burst of magic destroyed any remaining shadows with ease.

Adam pushed out of Vaggies arms quickly, finding his feet on the ground.

“I told you, Eve. We’ll have your back.” Vaggie said, looking over at Charlie with a small smile. “In Hell, we have to fight for trust, to do the right thing. It's not just a given, like it is in Heaven. But, that makes it more real. Instead of soldiers willing to die alongside you - people here, at this hotel? We’ll fight for you, Eve.”

For Eve, but never for Adam.

Chapter 11

Chapter Text

Adam sat on one of the plush velvet couches, watching as the group of sinners went back and forth, taking turns falling, then eventually it devolved into them just talking amongst themselves under warm lights and bright balloons They were laughing, smiling, telling stories.

They looked like…

“These sinners are my family!” He could hear Charlie yelling at him in the back of his mind, from the night he died. It still seemed mad to him, why immortals like Lucifer, Lilith, Charlie, and Vaggie even would care so deeply for these people. It stung worse that he couldn't remember ever feeling like this in Heaven. When was the last time he felt the urge to protect another person? When he was alive? Vaggie had been right, he had precious few allies that would die for him, not just at his command.

Adam glanced over to where Lucifer was sitting. Not on the same couch, but pointedly the immediate next one over. His back was straight and he was making a good show of definitely not looking over at Adam, constantly. Yeah, right. The King of Hell was bunching up his hands in his trousers, looking like he was working up the courage to say something, but not quite yet getting there.

“Eve, I-“ Lucifer started, waving a hand, like it was going to conjure up the right words for him. “I know you don’t want to, er…what I'm trying to say is that I think you’re, no, no, that's not- what I meant to say is, you’re very…you know?” Lucifer held out both hands wide, like he was measuring something, glancing over at Adam for reassurance.

“...Are you calling me f*cking fat?!” Adam’s hackles rose, his guitar started to form in his hand, and Lucifer's face fell harder than he had to hell.

“No! I mean, yes, but it's a good thing!” Lucifer laughed nervously, turning on the couch to look at Adam more directly.

“I think you’re very…what's the word…arousing? No, that's definitely not what you wanted to hear, I can tell by the way you just recoiled physically away from me!”

Lucifer stood up from the couch stiffly, a now chipping forced smile on his face “I am… going to go not talk to anyone in my room.”

Adam heard someone click their tongue, and liked up to see Angel Dust walking up with a hand on his hip in front of them. “Nuh uh, short King. See, the way I view it, of course Eve here don't feel real sexy – you dressed her like my f*ckin’ nona. What about her choice, huh? I ain't one to kink shame nobody, but still!”

Lucifer looked incredibly flustered as he tried to protest. “Eve said she didn't like tight clothes-“

Angel Dust just wagged a finger in his face, bopping the fallen angel on his lack of a nose. “Trust me, I know somethin’ about having everything you do and wear get decided by somebody else. So, what you're going to do is give me your cards, and I'm going to take Eve out in the limo, meet up with Cherri, then we're going shopping.”

“My cards?” Lucifer asked, blinking owlishly. “What cards? I have cards?”

“The ones I assume you got as King, to pay for whatever you wanna. I know you have the money to waste.” Angel Dust smirked, looking at Adam then winking.

“Oh, right. Those cards.” Lucifer said wryly. "You know, humans these days are so materialistic-"

“Don’t you want the chance to spoil Eve rotten? You’d like that, right, Evie? I bet you'd be awfully impressed with Lucifer here if he gave you complete and total access to his bank accounts~” Angel Dust prompted Adam to join in.

Adam didn't really want to go out on the town, but at the same time, getting away from the hotel was appealing. Wasting all the money he wanted on whatever he wanted was also very appealing, especially if it was Lucifer's. Heaven didn't have hard liquor, just ceremonial wine. It was so f*cking boring, and wine didn't mix well with barely anything.

“I, yes, I mean…I guess so?” Lucifer said, looking back and forth between Adam and Angel Dust. “If that's what you want, Eve?”

A solid gold looking card appeared in his hand, it had a little picture of Lucifer on it, and it looked like it said, 'Whatever Eve Wants’ on it. It was quickly snapped up by Angel Dust who looked like the cat that got the canary.

“That's a f*ckin' mistake in the making,” Husk muttered as he walked by but didn't say anything more.

“Shuddup. Come on Eve, let me show you the city, the right way! We’re going to get drinks, go shopping, get drinks, have a night on the town, get drinks, cause some chaos, then hit up a few bars!” Angel exclaimed, reaching down to grab Adams hand and pull him up from the couch, spinning Adam around quickly in a short dance, dipping him for a half second.

“If you're not interested in Lucifer or Alastor, there's a bunch of super hot Incubi and Succubi at this one place I know of. They're either hung like horses or they got tongues that could tie a cherry stem into a f*ckin’ balloon animal.”

“Wait, what- hey, I can do that too! Both of those things!” Lucifer protested, cheeks turning orange, but Adam began to grin. A little debauchery sounded fun.

“Yeah, f*ck it. Let’s do it. You said you have a limo?” He'd not seen much of Hell up close, just from above, and it never interested him much. It was filthy, it smelled weird, someone was always screaming in the distance. But, if he was going to be here for a bit, he might as well explore.

“It's Charlie’s, but we can borrow it no problem. It's got champagne in the back! Right, Charlie?” Angel Dust looked over at the princess, who actually looked thrilled.

“Absolutely, oh, I'm so happy you two are bonding! This is great! Making friends, learning to care about one another, that's what all of this is about! But, maybe don’t drink too much, and oh - practice safe sex!” Angel Dust just rolled his eyes, but he didn't stop smiling at her, clearly fond of the girl.

Adam cast one last look at Lucifer, who still looked like he was fighting to say something; but eventually he dropped his gaze, defeated.

“Okay, bitch, let's get the f*ck out of here.” Adam said, heading for the lobby, grabbing and dragging Angel as he went.

Adam looked around the interior of the limo, it was still red, but it seemed more fitting in here. Not bad, he thought to himself with a small smile, as Angel crawled in behind him. Angel quickly popped the top of a champagne bottle and poured them both a flute before kicking back and spreading out on the seat.

“We just gotta go get Cherri - you're gunna love her. She's a lot, like a LOT sometimes, but she's a sweetheart deep down.” Angel gestured as the car started up. “Way deep down. Under a pile of bombs. But, she was the first person down here to actually watch out for me. I got most my actual family down here, but can't count on them for sh*t.”

Adam wasn't really listening to him as he glanced out the window and watched storefronts go by, a bit surprised by the variety of it all. He was used to just blasting holes through roofs, then flying to the next place. There were actual boroughs here, with different styles, different clothes. It was still messy though, and Adam was pretty sure he caught a glimpse of one person killing another person, while someone else was f*cking them.

“Seriously?” Adam mumbled to himself, looking away and wondering how waterproof his shoes were. He didn't want to step into any puddles down here. Hell truly was a bummer.

“Is that Sal?” Angel asked, noticing craning his neck to look back. “Ah, yeah. He gets killed every Tuesday, he's into it. Sexually. He reforms by Friday, just in time to start the process over again. He's always missed the exterminations, while he's reforming. He's always so disappointed to not die permanently.”

“Disgusting,” Adam said with fake exuberance, and a plastic grin. “So glad I'm down here and not in Heaven.”

Angel laughed, not seeming too bothered by the comment as he tipped back his drink. Least he wasn't going to try lecturing him on how all these f*cking wrecks were secretly worth saving.

“Hey, uh, you been in Heaven a long time, right?” Angel asked him, breaking the moment of silence.

“Duh?” Adam answered quickly with a frown, not thinking about it. “I'm the first mortal soul in Heaven, so yeah.”

“So…you know the place pretty well, right?” Angel asked, looking like he was trying to seem nonchalant, but he couldn't hide his nerves. His foot was tapping, and one of his hands was drumming on his knee. “You don’t happen to know a girl named Molly Bianchi, do you? Born April 1st, 1913? New York, Manhattan. Bellevue hospital?”

“I'm not Saint f*ckin' Peter or any the seraphs, I don’t keep record of all the souls coming in. God, that’d be boring as sh*t.” Adam said immediately before he thought about it, then a face flashed in his mind.

“...Wait, is she a spider too?”

Angel Dust shrugged, trying to play off his indifference as he glanced away. “I don’t know. My dad and brother are spiders like me, I guess it’d make sense if my sister was too. I died pretty young, I just hoped she lived a long time is all…”

Sister? He knew of a handful of Molly’s, but there was a spider girl on main street named Molly, worked at the best ice cream shop in heaven. She was cute, perky, pretty normal Winner fare, but she always made Adam's favorite order without him even asking. Dark chocolate cherry chunk with coconut cream and sprinkles. She had an accent too, a bit like Angel Dust, now that he thought about it.

“Yeah, I might know her.” Adam mused on it for a minute longer. “Molly, spider, sounds like you. So, maybe? But the amount of Molly's from New York that ended up in Heaven, could be in the thousands. Hard to say. I'm also not great with accents. I lived before the whole Babel thing.”

Angel Dust looked lost in memories for a minute, before he shook it off, exhaling and taking a long drink from his champagne flute. “Well, I'm going to choose to believe it's her. Glad she's happy.”

“Why’d you end up in this sh*t hole if your sister went to Heaven? You're not the worst person down here, you could have been a winner with her.” Adam asked him, not understanding why Angel Dust wouldn't have just tried harder, repented. If he actually cared about his sister, he would be up there too.

“…My dad, his dad, they was real poor. Both in Italy and when they got to the US, ‘cus they were banned from a lot of places here just for being Italian. They ended up in the mob, not really ‘cus they wanted to be, but ‘cus there wasn't any opportunities otherwise. Then my mom died giving birth to me and Molly.” Angel Dust looked into his empty cup, looking at the dregs that pooled there.

“I was born into it, y'know? They were Catholic, for whatever that was worth then; but see, stealing was wrong - so the sh*t we took wasn’t stealing. The people we killed, well, they had it coming. They was worse than we was. We uh…what's the word. Rationalized it. It was easier than seeing yourself as a monster.”

Adam looked at the sinner and didn't want to feel as though he understood.

“I thought I was a monster though. I realized I liked men pretty young, but that wasn't a thing back then. I slept with a few guys, on the down low, but none of them loved me. I don't think I loved them either, but I wanted to. I wanted to be able to love someone, even though I knew it was impossible. I could never be who I actually was, not back then. When I first got to Hell, it was almost a relief.” Angel Dust laughed softly to himself at the memory, reaching over to pour more champagne. Quite a bit for so early in the afternoon, but Adam felt like he'd welcome more right now too.

“So, yeah, I didn’t try to be better, to go to Heaven. I knew Molly would, she was always a good person...Dad spared her from the worst of it. But, I was always going to go to hell, right? For being queer. That’s what they all said, so why try to fight the inevitable? I thought I was broken from the minute I was born.”

Adam felt his stomach turn, and he shook his head. “That's not even true, that’s not why anyone goes to Hell! I don't know what f*cking idiot mistranslated that, but it was never-“

“Does it matter? Do you even know? Why anyone goes to Hell or Heaven? I'm here now.” Angel asked, looking up to meet his eyes. “You thought it was too late for people like me, right? You agreed with Adam, didn't you? All the exterminations? How do you feel about it now?”

Adam stared at him, words dying on his tongue. It didn't seem fair. He remembered what Charlie had said during the trial for Angel Dust, that he'd followed everything Adam had said. Had he really ended up in Hell because of his family and other assholes telling him he couldn't f*ck guys if he wanted?

“Yeah,” Angel said with a wry smile. “We all rationalize sh*t, don't we? Sucks, right? At least you're in the same boat as us now.”

“I'm not the same as you,” Adam whispered, half to himself, but Angel heard anyway. It was a lie he needed to tell himself.

“That's for sure! I wouldn’t be caught dead in that dress.”

Angel cackled to himself, and after a moment of shock, Adam found himself slowly grinning as he retorted back with a hearty, “f*ck you, whor*!”

The car pulled to a stop and suddenly the door was flung open with gusto. Another f*cking one eyed girl jumped into the car with a devilish grin. Adam couldn't remember if she'd been there at the final fight too, but she seemed familiar.

“What's up, slu*ts?!” She yelled happily, practically jumping on top of Angel to hug him, rubbing her knuckles into the top of his head. Angel just beamed, hugging her back. It took her a minute to notice Adam, but she just tilted her head with a smile. “New drinking partner, yeah? Sounds good, let's go blaze the street!”

“Good to see you too, Cherri, but we got to get her some new clothes. Look at her. Lucifer picked all her outfits. Pathetic, isn't it? Living before fashion was invented ain't any excuse.” Angel said, waving a hand at Adam. “And before all that, well. This is Eve. The Eve. Former wife of Adam.”

Cherri’s expression barely changed, but she started to smell a bit like black powder. “No sh*t? I hated that prick, I’d piss on his grave if he had one." Adam must have made a face at that, because she snuggled in close to Adam next.

"Don't worry though, babe, I had my own jackass for awhile - we’ll do better by you than that misogynistic c*nt, or the guy with all the bloody f*ckin ducks. f*ck the monarchy, right?” Cherri flashed devil horns with her fingers, showing off the tattoos down her arms. Adam was extremely torn between being pissed off by her, and being extremely attracted to her.

“Got his card though~” Angel Dust leered, flashing the gold card. Cherri whistled, and grabbed a bottle all to herself. Adam looked between them, and found himself relaxing.

Chapter 12

Chapter Text

“So, what are we feeling for clothes?” Angel Dust asked Adam. “We got all the best fashion in Hell, every time period, every style, whatever you like. You want to go full historic, I know this guy on the upper west side that used to be a Pharaoh, but realized his true calling was fine linens. Still a bit of a freak though, has a mummification fetish. Great clothes though.”

“No way,” Cherri dismissed the idea immediately, resting her feet in Angel’s lap. “Look at her – you want something more interesting than that, right, babe? Your life was spent being controlled by other people, other c*nts who thought they knew better, so you followed the rules until they bit you in the arse – am I right?”

“f*cking bullseye.” Adam agreed enthusiastically, leaning in, starting to feel more invigorated.

“Yeah, you struggled and now you have to give the world a massive middle finger, telling them to take their rules and rack off with them. That’s rock and roll to me, that’s punk, that’s ripping up what you knew to be true and getting messy!” Cherri cheered as Adam nodded along. That's right, he was rock and roll, wasn’t he?

“I want something that let’s people know I’m important, that they can't f*ck with me. I want them to look at me and know who I am.” Adam said, a flash of his mask and horns going across his mind. “Like, you know, a lion fish or some sh*t.”

“Sounds like Bristol to me,” Angel said with an easy smile, Cherri agreeing before he leaned over to smack the back of the limo window partition. “Take us to Bristol, East side!”

Adam spun around in the shop after they reached it, eyes wide with wonder. It’d already been strange watching the scenery of Pentagram City twist and change, from the outskirts, into the entertainment districts, and then into what was clearly the shopping street of the city. They didn't have this kind of store in Heaven. It was kind of dingy, and the other sinners in the store looked like they'd probably died sometime in the 1980s like Cherri Bomb had, or at least were trying to look like they had. There was a lot of black and red, like the rest of Hell fashion, but there was so much more bright almost obnoxiously loud colors and patterns. It wasn't all harmonious, it wasn't soothing, it was boisterous and asserted itself. It was like the whole building was saying: I’m here, f*ck you.

Adam was immediately drawn to a rack of trousers of varying colors and designs, especially one pair that had black and white vertical stripes. He wasn't usually one for trousers, but he grabbed those out anyway. That led him to another pair of white trousers that had patches all up and down them, with ripped slits across the knees. Another still had one leg black, one leg purple. He saw gold colored trousers with black eye symbology scattered around the print. And, while he’d never worn overalls in his life, he was drawn in to a black pair of overall shorts that featured the pattern of a snake’s skeleton twisting up across it.

“Maybe not the stripes,” Angel commented as he walked past, arms already full of a variety of clothes – mostly in his size not Adam’s. “Don't want to look like Beetlejuice, do you?”

“I shouldn't have shown you that movie,” Cherri skated by quickly, before tossing a leather jacket at Adam. It was white, with gold spikes down the arms and around the collar.

“Oh yeah,” Adam grinned down at it. “This is definitely me.”

Until he turned it over and saw it had a sewn in path. A big f*cking apple. Adam nearly tossed it aside immediately, disgusted, but for some reason, he didn’t let it go. It was a part of his history that he hated, but at the same time didn't want to part with.

“Hey, Eve, how about this little number, huh?” Angel called from a few feet away, holding up a pink dress that was mostly see through fishnet. “I think if you wore this around Lucifer, he might actually have a heart attack and die.”

“Don't tempt me to try.” Adam blanched, sticking out his tongue in disgust before looking away from it.

“Plus, he's seen me naked repeatedly, anyway... Don't think it'll work.”

“Aww, come on. Sometimes not being nude is way sexier, cus then they get there chance to undress you. I swear, you toss on something sexy a couple times, I bet he’ll make you his next Queen.” Angel teased innocently enough, for Angel, but Adam saw red, fingers digging into the pile of clothes in his hands.

“I'm not a f*cking queen and I’m not Lilith's f*cking replacement!” Adam snapped, fury rolling over him, to the point the entire store seemed to stop breathing. All the other customers began to slide away from him, and Angel looked momentarily scared. Adam felt quickly guilty, which made him feel worse. Why did it feel wrong to yell at the f*cking p*rn star? But, he did. He didn't want Angel to be scared of him. How soft had he gone that he sympathized with Angel Dust?

The only person who didn’t react much, was Cherri.

“Course not,” she said, patting him once on the back. “You’re you, and I think I like you way more than Lilith.

She always seemed a bit, you know.”

“A controlling stuck up bitch,” Adam groused.

"She just wasn't my scene." Cherri answered with a cheeky smile.

Cherri held up what Adam thought was a loose black crop top, it seemed to be a bands tour shirt that had gotten cut in half, judging by the dates and locations listed down the middle.

“Wear something like this, and you'll probably look more like Adam than Lilith. Don't think Lucifer would be mixing up those two.” Cherri said easily enough, and Adam froze up, looking her in the eye. Did she know? How could she?

“You like that kind of clothes more, right? A bit loose but with personality.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, chewing on his lip. Not knowing what to say to her, not wanting to give away too much, but he felt like he knew where this was going.

“I mean, I was made from Adam, so I guess it makes sense our style is similar. We’re like, uh, twins almost.” Adam tried to cover, but the look on both Angel and Cherri’s face only made him more uncertain if they had caught on yet. Well, at least if they did know, he could vent a little.

“…You know it's funny, Heaven doesn’t give a sh*t if a mortal is gay or whatever, doesn't care about their identity. Because they're just normal mortals. But me? I have to be Eve. I don't get a f*cking choice. Adam and Eve, the father and mother of humanity, their roles are set. So, I can’t be anything but…”

Adam glanced over at a mirror, into his own eyes. It was always the lack of choice that he hated. He wanted to be himself again, Adam knew he was a guy - but if Heaven were to remove his ability to be have this body too? He didn't know how he'd react. It was one thing to not choose this form in Heaven, it was another when he was stuck in one or the other. At least on earth as Adam, he was in pain less.

“Why am I conditional to them?” Adam asked quietly, feeling himself sober up.

Angels expression turned away from worry to sympathy. “You’re not - no one cares down here, Eve. You could, you know…be Steve if you want? Be Eve, be whoever. I ain't going to say anything, I mean, f*cking look at me! You can be anyone you want here, that’s the one benefit of Hell You need fake IDs? I can get you twenty in an hour flat. Ignore Lucifer, ignore Heaven. I got your back.”

Adam saw Lute’s crying face over his for a moment, splattered in blood - but it was quickly replaced with Vaggie’s expression as she caught him during the trust fall. Adam prized loyalty, he always had, after Lilith and Lucifer…being betrayed, abandoned, it hurt. Vaggie leaving hurt. But his people were loyal out of either seniority, or fear, rules and regulation. Not because they liked him.

“Me too, I won't say nothing if you don't want me too.” Cherri said, making a zipping motion with her fingers against her lips. “We’re bitches for life now.”

They wouldn't still be saying this if they knew who he was, though. Looking back down at his clothes, Adam wondered if he should put them all back and just embrace the dresses and things Lucifer got him. Maybe he needed to be Eve to be redeemed, let Adam die.

“I…Just forget I said anything, okay? It doesn't matter.”

“Hey, look at me. Shut the f*ck up. It does to me.” Angel said, taking a step closer, putting a hand on Adam's shoulder.

“So, in the words of a bartender I like, stop being a big f*ckin baby about it. Get the sh*t that makes you happy. Be who you are, don't let anyone take that away from you, okay? I know how bad that hurts, so if for no other reason, do it for me.”

Adam opened his mouth, but eventually he the words died on his tongue. He looked down at the pile of clothes in his arms again and held them a bit closer to his chest.

“…Okay, but don’t tell me to shut up again.” Adam said lightly, and Angel Dust just laughed it off.

“Great, now…Cherri and I have this game called, 'let’s go try on some of the most outrageous sh*t we see in the store, then go break some f*ckin’ hearts!'” Angel wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and led them all back to the try on booths.

Adam walked out of the store laughing with the other two, arms full of bags, and a new small hole in Lucifer’s coffers.

Adam got talked into wearing the leather spiked jacket from before, a neon purple f*cking top that was maybe a bit tighter than he liked, but that didn't hold a candle to the poor excuse of white shorts he was wearing, coupled with thigh high f*cking high heeled boots. It was ridiculous, stupid, and he'd normally not wear half of it, but there was something about just letting it be over the top and needlessly dumb that was fun. He didn't feel judged by Angel and Cherri.

“I look like I belong in Jem and the Holograms!” Adam laughed, only to get a look of confusion from Angel, and a squeal of excitement from Cherri.

“I loved that show! I only saw the first series of it in 85’ before I ended up here.” Cherri said, dancing a few feet in front of them as they walked towards the limo, also in a very non- Cherri outfit. It had shoulder pads, a tight pencil skirt, and a lot of leopard print.

“They get all of human media in Heaven, but they censor all the good bits, even books.” Adam said, thinking back on his disappointment watching his first R rated movie and they’d replaced all the tit* and swearing with heaven friendly alternatives.

“Did you know, there's a black market in Heaven? It's been around for a long time. Drugs, p*rn, you name it.”

Adam was in the middle of a metaphorical memory lane, talking about all the human things Heaven had access to, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye that made him stop dead. Angel bumped into him, wearing pink cowboy boots, a pink feather boa, and very nearly assess chaps.

“What's up? You see something you- oh.“ Angels voice dropped to a concerned note.

“I know we have Lucifer’s card and everything but, uhh, I don't know about that? I feel like if he gets mad it'll be at me and Cherri, not you. I really don't want to see him go all demonic again.”

“That's a risk I'm willing to take,” Adam said even as Angel pouted, before darting across the street, probably more adept in moving on high heels then they were expecting. Adam walked up to the window of the shop, looking inside with wide eyes.

“She's beautiful…”

It was a sleek white and gold plated motorcycle, sparkling under the glow artificial lights. It was like looking at a lost wonder of the world, untouched by the rest of Hell. It had all the right curves and edges, as though it was made to fly across the ground. It reminded him of his wings.

“I need it,” Adam stated immediately, and began to push in through the front door.

“Wait, wait, wait, I really have no idea how Lucifer is going to react, and do you even know how to drive one of those things-“ Angel tried to pull Adam back, but Adam just stopped, turned, grabbed Angel’s chin, and made him look him in the eyes.

“Lucifer got me exiled into the f*cking wastelands for 900 years. I'm getting the motorcycle. Or did you not tell me to get what I wanted?”

Angel held up his hands, all eight eyes wide. “Okay, jeez. You’re getting the stupidly expensive motorcycle, I get it.”

Adam plucked the gold card out from a Angels pocket with a smile, before spinning around to look over at the imp shop attendant who was nervously inching closer to them.

“Can I help-“

“You're going to sell me that.” Adam pointed at the bike, then flashed the card in front of the man’s face.

“You’re going to ship it to the Hazbin Hotel, and I want a big f*cking bow on it, like…obnoxiously large. With glitter. I want Lucifer to see what he paid for. Oh, and toss in one of those electronic helmets to match.”

Adam had noticed them walking in, helmets hung up on the wall in a line in varying colors and styles, that went over the entire face, with a digital read out on the mask – a mask that would mimic his facial expressions. They didn't have horns on them or anything like that, but Adam felt closer than ever to being himself. He wanted to keep chasing this feeling.

The imp looked stunned by the demand, wringing his hands together. “Ma’am, are you certain? This is a limited edition motorcycle, taken directly from earth and retrofitted to work in Hell. It costs over a mil-“

“Oh,” Adam smiled maliciously, already picturing Lucifer’s face when he found out. “I’m so certain.”

Chapter 13

Chapter Text

Adam was chugging champagne like it was holy water by the time they reached the club in the limo. He could’ve taken the motorcycle, but he wanted it cleaned and perfected first, before it was delivered to the hotel. He wanted Lucifer to see what he’d wrought.

The club was in the entertainment district, none too shocking, and seemed to go up a couple stories, with tinted glass walls too the outside giving those passerby a glimpse inside. It was sleak, glimmering with lights from the neon signs up and down the street. The sounds coming from the building were booming, with pictures of some succubus woman plastered all over nearby exterior walls, advertising some sort of musical tour through the Pride ring. It was clear, even from the window of the limo, that the club was exclusive to mostly Hellborn crowd, with the exception of a handful of very hot sinners.

“You still doing good? We’re almost out of champagne.” Angel Dust asked, but he’d been drinking a similar amount.

“I'm great, I can't wait to see…” Adam trailed off before he said Lucifer’s face, realizing his tongue was getting a bit fast and loose with the alcohol. It’d been a long time since he had a ton to drink, not real alcohol anyway. One of his girls had snuck in a black market bottle of tequila once, which he confiscated from her and drank entirely.

“A long line of drinks.”

“Right,” Angel snorted, but he wasn’t going to press the issue.

Cherri was practically vibrating in her seat, jumping out of the car before it had fully come to a stop. “Come on, I want to get in before they turn on the smoke.”

“Smoke?” Adam asked, stepping out of the limo, and the depth of the bass from the music felt like it was echoing deep into his chest.

“They turn on a smoke every hour on the hour for awhile, rumors say it's laced with an aphrodisiac, but I think people just get horny from the booze, drugs, and, well. Them.” Angel said, getting it beside him, and gesturing towards the thick wall of writhing Succubi and Incubi, all behind a sheet of glass inside the club.

“I told you, if you want to get laid, this is the best place to come. Literally.”

Adam laughed, eyeing up a few of the nearly naked Succubi nearest to him from the entrance. They were hot, no doubt, but it wasn't until they got up to the door that Adam let the fact he didn't have a dick sink in. He doubted they'd care - there was a couple of girls outside the building, fully in plain view of the world, with one’s head fully between the other girl’s thighs; but Adam was unused to this body for sex.

Besides sleeping with Lucifer, and to a smaller degree, with Lilith, Adam hadn't had sex like this since then. He’d masturbat*d in the years he'd been alive, he always got stupidly horny about halfway through his pregnancies, in between vomiting his brains out early on, and then vomiting his brains out very later on. But, in Heaven, he could control the shifts, at least in private. That's what he was allowed. Adam never wanted to feel vulnerable, so he only ever slept with heaven born women smaller than him, weaker than him, more meek, and only ever in his usual Adam form. He didn't care what kind of bodies they had, but he needed to be in control of the situation. In all honesty, he had a lot less sex than he claimed to, because he rarely wanted to be fully undressed around anyone, even as Adam.

“Hey, if you don't want to get laid, we can just dance, you know?” Angel Dust said, interrupting his thoughts.

“I mean, for awhile anyway. I’m definitely going to get laid and so will Cherri probably, but we can hang out with you before then.”

“You're going to leave me on the floor just to go get laid?” Adam asked in annoyance, as they got through the line and to the front door.

“Like you're not just going to go down shots anyway, to pretend you're not still into Lucifer.” Angel countered, but whatever Adam was going to angrily respond with was cut off.

A tall Hellborn that Adam couldn't identify, some kind of maybe incubus leviathan cross, stood as the bouncer in front of the entryway. He was big enough that he had a head on Adam’s height, which was saying something. He sneered down at them, arms crossed.

“You look human. Are you on the list?” He asked, and Angel Dust stepped forward.

“Hey beautiful, you know me, don't you? You recognize me, I know you do. You know, I could get you into a private signing if you're a fan?” Angel practically purred, stifling sidling up alongside the bouncer. The bouncer clearly did, judging by how his tail swung side to side, how could he not, even Adam knew of Angel Dust while in Heaven.

“Fine, but they're not on the list-“ Adam sighed, having had just about enough of this guy and grabbed the front of the bouncers shift, before tossing him like a wet rag across the street, over the hood of the limo. The bouncer just groaned from the ground and the crowd in line began to cheer. You could always count on Hell to be enthusiastic about violence, which, frankly, Adam found he didn’t mind.

“Now we are, douchebag. Next time, know who you're talking to.” Adam said haughtily, nodding his head towards the now fully open entryway. Angel Dust and Cherri looked shocked for half a second, before grinning wickedly.

“Nice one, I was about to just cram a bomb down his throat, but that works too. So, let’s f*ck sh*t up!” Cherri cheered, throwing her fist in the air, before running inside.

The inside of the club had multicolored flashing lights, it smelled sweet like candy and sex, and panels on the walls and ceiling swirled and shifted. True to what Cherri had said, a light fog seemed to be rising up from the ground, making the dancing bodies seem more otherworldly. Adam could see the bar off to the right, with rows and rows of backlit liquors and spirits. An incubus was laying across part of the bar top, and patrons were doing jello shots off of his body, including his…Adam raised an eyebrow. Well, he hasn't seen that in Heaven before. It was kind of hot.

Adam looked back to ask what Angel and Cherri wanted, only to see Cherri had vanished into the crowd of bodies, and Angel Dust was currently being talked to by a group of people. Adam rolled his eyes, before moving towards the bar, but he wasn’t expecting to get so much attention on himself. There were a lot of eyes on him, he even noticed a few with phones out, which made him nervous. Were they mocking him? The outfit he was in began to feel like much too little.

“Hey! Dipsh*t, over here!” Adam yelled upon getting to the bar. He was taller than a lot of the figures in here, so he had an advantage there. A few succubus sent him a glare, but if they wanted drinks more quickly, they simply shouldn't have been so short and hard to see. The bartender had multiple eyes and multiple arms, and antennae. Some sort of other Hellborn mix.

“Get me a round of your best shots, and then…”

Adam pulled out the gold card from his pocket with a grin, waving it around so they could all see, even the guy getting his pole smoked.

“Lucifer Morningstar will be buying everyone in here their drinking for...Let's see, the entire next week? That sounds about fair, right? That's what a kind and loving king would do, isn't it?!”

A roar of applause followed.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but Adam sighed happily as he tilted his head back to the sound of a small crowd around him cheering, “shots, shots, shots!” An incubus sitting on the bar beside him poured a drink down his throat, leaving sweet nectar sticking to his tongue. A succubus on Adam's lap, straddling his thigh, leaned forward to lick a drop that had spilled off his chin.

“Hey, let's get out of here. There's a room in the back. I want a drink too~ maybe from down here-” The girl purred, with a roll of her hips, tracing her finger down from Adam's collarbone, but Adam in that moment spotted Angel and Cherri again, dancing in the crowd.

“Oh, there they are.” Adam huffed, head feeling fuzzy as he stood up, letting the girl fall to the ground. He stepped over her, and squeezed through the ring of confused incubi and succubi and out onto the main dancefloor.

“Look who got tired of their groupies!” Angel Dust called out to him with a laugh as Adam got closer.

“I saw that, bitch. You could have had an orgy if you wanted! They were all over you. Like, literally the hotel next door is named Orgy.”

“They're just not doing it for me, I'm not in the mood.” Adam shrugged, but it was nice to be doted on again, even if they were Hellborn. It didn't carry the same weight as when Lucifer tripped all over himself.

“Let's just f*cking dance.”

And so they did, until Adam felt like his eyes weren't keeping up with his head or body, and the lights and fog were beginning up make the entire dancefloor feel somewhat ethereal, dreamlike and unreal. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or maybe it rumors were right and there was something in the smoke machines, but it took Adam far too long to notice his surroundings, pressed in between people. A man's hand was on his stomach, thumb just barely hooked under the edge of his shorts, and Adam could feel his lips on the back of his ear. Adam blinked, and for just a second, he pictured blackened hands with curved claws in the man's place, before they reverted back to normal.

The man grinded up against Adam’s back, and that was enough. Adam came enough to, to push away from him. f*cking gross, he didn't want to feel a random dick against his ass. He just got these clothes and didn't want to get them dirty so soon. Grimacing, Adam blinked and looked around the dancefloor. He didn't see Angel anywhere, but he caught a glimpse of Cherri at a table in a corner.

“Don't go, baby, let me-“

“Touch me again and I'm making you deep throat your own leg.” Adam glowered at him, and he took a decidedly large step backwards away from him. Ugh, why was he blonde?

Adam shoved those thoughts down and half stumbled over to Cherri’s table, flopping into a seat, and exhaling. “How long have we been here?”

“Few hours,” Cherri smiled at him, chin in her hand.

“Angel went off with a couple guys awhile ago. You looked like you were having fun, so I didn’t want to interrupt. I sobered up only a bit ago, already had my fun.”

Adam put his head in his arms on the table, not sure if his brain was pounding or if it was still just the music. f*ck, he felt gross. He'd not felt like this since he was alive, but the feeling of nausea was growing on him again now. He wondered what color his barf would be, after all the very many bright colored drinks he'd downed. Maybe it would be like horfing up the rainbow.

“...So, Angel said Pentious is in Heaven?” Cherri asked, but it took Adam a minute to realize she was even talking at all.

“Yeah, I guess so. That’s what Sera told be anyway…she wasn't happy about it, granted she's never really happy. At least not when Hell is involved.” Adam looked over at her, but didn't raise his head from his arms he was using as a pillow.

“Were you friends or something?”

Cherri looked down at her drink, a co*cktail, that was a bright pinkish red. “Not exactly. We were sort of rivals, though only he thought that. He was…cute, sure, weirdly endearing in his own way. Very awkward, but he had a good heart on him.”

Adam watched her, the lack of exuberance on her features beginning to sink in. She seemed so much more contained now, less ready to blow the world up.

“You liked him.” Adam said, but it wasn't really a question.

She just smiled, half heartedly. “Not quite so soon, but I wish I had. I would have liked the chance to fall in love again. But, he belongs in Heaven, I think. And...I don’t.”

“I thought all of you were all…” Adam waved a hand, and put on his very best Charlie impersonation.

“Every sinner can be saved, everyone can go to Heaven! Life is rainbows and puppies and no one deserves to die!”

“Nah, I don't want it. Not me.” Cherri laughed softly.

“I know Angel will get there one day, so will Husk. They're good lads. But, it’s not for me, I don't think I’d be happy in paradise.”

She lifted up her drink until it was eye level with Adam. “You see this here? The color? It's red isn't it?”

“Uh, yeah, I have eyes. I'm not color blind no matter what Lilith f*cking says.” Adam mumbled, sitting more upright.

“Some prick in here put something in my drink, that's why it looks like this. It's a classic in Hell.” Cherri looked back over the crowd with a smile, but Adam began to feel that sick feeling crawling up his throat again.

“See, that's the difference between me and girls like Charlie. Don't get me wrong, she's got her edges – but, she shows mercy. Meanwhile, I’m about to go make someone’s insides, their outsides. I had enough abusive men to last me a hundred lifetimes, so yeah…It would have been nice to get to know Pentious better, but someone needs to be here.”

Cherri slowly poured out the drink onto the floor, and pulled a bomb out of seemingly nowhere, which had Adam sobering up very quickly. It had been easy between drinks and jokes to forget that Angel and Cherri were sinners.

“So, how about you?” Cherri’s sharp predatory grin returned to her features.

“You really want to go back up to Heaven, play some harps, float on some clouds? Or, do you wanna f*ck sh*t up?”

She didn't wait for his response, as she jumped up and slid over the top of the table, out onto the dancefloor. She vanished quickly into the sea of bodies, like she had before, but soon a boom went off, and a cloud of a very different kind of smoke began to swallow the room. Sinners and Hellborn went running, screaming, pushing past and around Adam. Chaos exploded around them, and everything began to devolve into violence.

Adam watched, heart pounding.

He kind of wanted both.

Chapter 14

Chapter Text

Adam, Angel, and Cherri sat on a couch that had towels laid down over it. They were looking in varying directions that were decidedly not Vaggie staring down at them with crossed arms. Adam couldn't believe he was being lectured by his own prior employee, but every time he glanced up to say something, she was making that face, and he snapped his mouth shut. Did she learn that from Lute or Sera, because it certainly wasn't from him.

“Uh, Vaggie?” Charlie said from behind her, tugging on her dress sleeve, trying to distract her girlfriend.

“Maybe let me-“

“You three were gone for hours. I thought maybe it would be fine, what all could you do?” Vaggie barked, drill sergeant voice coming back to her.

“You destroyed an entire club, caused thousands of dollars in repairs, medical costs for the Hellborn injured, and you're all over the news! They're making a mockery of us!”

A small smile ticked up at the edge of Adam’s mouth as she spoke, as he pictured the scene of the club as they’d left it.

“I did tell them Lucifer would pay for everything?”

Vaggie’s eye twitched, and Charlie made the executive decision to drag her girlfriend forcibly backwards, and passed her off to Husk. Vaggie was swearing at them in Spanish, which was odd, because she was a Heavenborn, but not unheard of. Lute liked Russian for some reason. Another girl almost only ever spoke Sumerian.

“So, while I don't think my dad will be very upset…it doesn't look good for the hotel. I am really glad you guys all had fun and bonded, and I know you aren't a resident Cherri, but Angel and Eve are, so, maybe-“

“Hey, don't lump me into their destruction!” Angel said, crossing his legs.

“I was in the process of getting laid by the two hottest f*cking incubi I've ever met in my entire unlife, then suddenly there's a f*ckin’ explosion, and when I finally get to the door, it’s chaos! And worse off, it scared off the guys!”

“Oh please, Angie, you weren’t that into them anyway. Everyone knows you're into-” Cherri countered, but he just crossed all four of his arms and sent her a death glare.

So, the club thing hadn’t gone exactly the way they’d thought it would. Or, maybe it did, knowing them. Not long after Cherri began her reign of destruction, Adam decided to join in and help. He wasn’t going to kill anyone, but Adam decided it would be fun to climb up on top of the bar and use his skeleton axe to bat bottles of liquor to Cherri on the dance floor to use as explosives. She did most of the work, and the guy who’d tried to drug her was left a Jackson Pollock painting in quick work.

“You're not innocent either, Angel.” Adam said, kicking Angel in the shin lightly.

“I seem to remember you coming out of the back and joining in on the fight.”

“Well, I wasn’t just going to leave you two to have all the fun!” Angel said it as though he was insulted by the implication.

“Okay, okay, guys! Eyes on me! I'm happy you had fun, but this can't happen again. Not like that.” Charlie told them using her big girl voice, trying to get their attention back on her. She held up her phone, and used her thumb to scroll through the feed.

There were a ton of posts about Hazbin Hotel residents destroying part of the entertainment district, and one featured a picture of Adam holding up Lucifer’s card, with the implication that the destruction was okayed by Lucifer himself. Then, they seemed to devolve into comments about Angel Dust, then to Adam and who he was an what his connection to Lucifer was. Adam’s grin fell as he saw a picture of himself dancing up close and personal to a few Hellborn, with the title of the post asking his he was Lucifer’s ‘mid life crisis post divorce golddigger girlfriend.’

“What the f*ck?!” Adam snarled, trying to grab the phone from her, but Charlie pulled it away.

“I'm not a sugar baby! He’s shorter than me!”

“That's not really what that means,” Angel whispered.

“It's not a good picture for any of us, okay” Charlie sighed, looking regretful.

“I don't want to make a bunch of rules and regulations, but we can't help anyone if they're too scared to even come here. Maybe we can figure out other fun things to all do together in the future, so we don't have to-“

“Ugh, thanks but no thanks princess. I'm out.” Cherri groaned and stood up off the couch, stretching her arms over her head.

“You're abandoning us?!” Angel yelped, and Cherri walked away with a swing of her hips.

“I don't even go here, Angie. Have fun getting lectured! I need a shower anyway, I'm covered in blood.”

She left, leaving Angel and Adam on the coach alone.

“Some guy roofied her drink.” Adam blurted out, in the silence of the room. Angel looked surprised, but Charlie and Vaggie did moreso. Husk didn't look shocked, but he didn't seem happy about it.

“That’s what kicked it off. We weren't going to just…let that stand. It's not like we just went feral or something. What were we supposed to do? Offer the guy a place to stay here? No, I'm going to help her kill the f*cking asshole.”

“sh*t, I didn't know…” Angel murmured to himself.

“I'll send her a message in the morning…”

Charlie's face went through an emotional journey, before it settled on tentatively hopeful. Which was strange, and sent off alarm bells in Adam’s mind.

“So, you're saying that you…Eve, bonded with Cherri, and wanted to protect her?”

Adam wanted to barf from that particular description, but it wasn’t…wrong, not exactly.

“I…guess so? She’s fun. We did a lot of sh*t together, and…I feel like she kind of gets me. It was a fun night.”

“Sooo you're saying you’re friends with a sinner now, and wanted to help a sinner? As in you did not want to see a sinner hurt or otherwise injured? Rather than fully agreeing with the exterminations?” Charlie rattled off, practically bouncing on her feet.

Adam’s chest felt tight again.

“This is progress! I mean, maybe I wish it hadn’t cost so much money, but it's still progress!”

Did he disagree with the exterminations now?

How many Cherri’s had he already killed permanently? Adam stared down at his hands, splattered in blood, both red sinner blood and black from the lower ranking Hellborn.

How many sinners had he killed? How many deserved it?

“Just wait until you see the motorcycle,” Angel drawled, sending a knowing small smile towards Adam, unaware of what was going through Adam's mind.

“Motorcycle?” Charlie and Vaggie asked in tandem.

From the moment they'd arrived back at the hotel after their night out, Adam had noticed a very specific lack of Lucifer around, even lingering in the background. He just wasn’t here. Adam had wanted to see Lucifer’s face when he found out about all the money of his that Adam was wasting, and right now he wanted to Lucifer for some reason he couldn't even put a name to, but it didn't seem like Lucifer was anywhere to be seen.

Adam felt weird.

It wouldn't be the last time Adam felt like that.

The following morning, the aforementioned motorcycle from before arrived at the front of the hotel, with a very beautiful and sparkly bow on the front, which set off an entire new rant from Vaggie, and Charlie to a smaller extent. But, Lucifer was no where to be seen.

Adam stared at the motorcycle and felt little of the same joy he'd had upon first seeing it.

The next day, Charlie had created a Sharing Circle, a concept of which made Adam want to crawl into a hole and never return, but he spent most of the hour distracted. He kept looking up, scanning the room, expecting to see a shape that he just didn’t.

Husk revealed he'd had been married three times when he was alive, but never had any kids. Angel shared that he was a few weeks totally sober from hard drugs. Alastor, who was shockingly there for some reason, shared that he used to wear glasses when alive, but that they were the wrong prescription so his eyes got tired and hurt often, which led him to preferring radio over books. Niffty revealed to the group that she thought imp blood tasted the best, even better than angel blood, which was worrying especially when she stared at Adam when she said it. Vaggie told them all about how lovely she'd felt in heaven, and how hell felt more like a home to her.

But Adam barely heard any of it.

When he was asked to share something about himself, Adam told them he used to like swimming when he was alive.

The next few days passed much in the same way; group exercises, rumors about what was being shown on the news, and still no Lucifer to be seen. Angel Dust seemed to pick up on Adam’s mood fairly quickly, asking Charlie about it one morning that week.

“So, where’s our short king? I haven't seen him around recently?” Angel played it off casually enough, twirling his spoon through soup.

“Doing crisis management or something? We didn't f*ck up that badly, did we?”

“Oh, I don't know actually.” Charlie looked up from her bowl, and Adam’s frown grew.

“When I was little, he’d vanish for days at a time, sometimes weeks or longer, working on this or that. My mom would try to get him to be more present, at least at first, but eventually she gave up. I guess I didn't really think about it…”

She looked slightly apologetic, more so when looking at Adam than Angel. Why did they all seem to think he wanted to see Lucifer.

Did he want to see Lucifer?

“I know he’s got a big dinner coming up soon with all the ring leaders, though. Satan, Bee, Levi, Ozzie, Mammon, Bel. There’s been some drama between a few of them recently, though Mammon is always a bit of a drama queen, so maybe he's been distracted by that?”

Adam stood and left the meal early. f*cking typical. Adam was never important enough long enough to Lucifer. Of course Lucifer’s little obsession would fade, it didn’t matter if Adam was Adam or Eve.

He'd never be enough for him.

Adam didn't actually know how to drive a motorcycle, it wasn't like he had a car in Heaven. Not wanting to splatter his brains on the ground of hell, he'd not taken her out yet, having it put into the garage where he’d sometimes go and just sit on it. Willing it to go, knowing it wouldn’t, but when he closed his eyes he’d picture himself flying down the streets again, feeling strong again. He'd not worn his helmet around anyone yet either.

“They don't have motorcycles in Heaven?” A deep voice asked, and Adam turned to look at Husk leaning against the doorway into the hotel garage.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well, I could f*cking fly.” Adam huffed, not having interacted a ton with the…cat bat thing, so far. He was fine, clearly hated Alastor, which was entertaining enough, but Adam liked the fact he wasn't too buddy-buddy yet.

“I can fly now, but it's not the same, is it? Having a big engine, a rolling bomb strapped between your legs.” Husk said with wry humor, shrugging a shoulder, before walking over and looking the bike up and down.

“Too gaudy for my taste, but it suits you.”

Adam flipped him off. “Thanks, asshole.”

Husk snorted. “you been spending too much time together, you're starting to sound like Angel.”

Adam glowered.

“When I was alive I had this one bike, Yamaha DT-1. I won it gambling, but that’s how I got most of my things back in the day. First car, house, even my first wife.” Husk put his hands in his pockets.

“I rode it everywhere, from Las Vegas to San Jose, then back home to see my mama in New York. I loved that thing, until I wrecked it. When I finally woke up in the hospital, I was …disappointed. I had a death wish, and didn't even realize it. You get so good at something, so used to something, for a long enough time, you don't realize you’re miserable.”

Adam stared down at the golden curves of his motorcycle, fingers digging into the padded handlebars.

“But, we’re all dead now, aren't we?” Husk let out a chuckle, smiling at Adam.

“You want me to show you how to really fly that thing?”

Husk spent more time with Adam over the next few days, which attracted Angel inevitably, who would kick back and watch as Husk instructed Adam how to ride the motorcycle. They both looked a bit put off by Adam’s helmet the first time he donned it. Husk commented that he didn't need to dress like Adam just because he was made from him. Adam didn't say much, feeling more at home and relaxed back behind his mask. Both Angel and Husk cheered for him when Adam successfully rode the bike down the street and back. He took Angel on a ride around town next, ignoring as Angel yelled happily in his ear.

Like the club, it was fun. He didn't hate Husk either, the sinner was far more subtle than most he'd met.

Adam felt invigorated, he felt free in those moments, driving by himself. It was a good distraction.

But, he kept looking upwards, trying to catch a glimpse of white and red that wasn’t there.

At night, Adam dreamed of Eden. He remembered running across the grass and soil, climbing up rocks, and jumping into streams. Since all four of the great rivers of antiquity had their hearts in the waters of the garden, Adam swam quite a bit, and Lucifer would always watch over them with a nervousness Adam didn't truly understand. He had no concept of death back then, that wouldn't come until later. Lilith would generally lay on the grasses nearby, rarely speaking to him, because they'd never truly gotten along. But, she always stayed close anyway, they were supposed to, as commanded by the angels.

Adam dreamed of one moment in which he dove down deep under the waters surface, and saw fishes and creatures he’d never noticed before. He held his breath as went as far as he could, marveling at the colors and hypnotic movements of schools of fish, until his lungs hurt. He let out a great bubble that ran to the surface away from him, but it was only then that Adam knew he couldn't breathe. He sucked in water as his body tried to pull in Oxygen.

A bright light flashed around him in the water, and then Adam was on the grass above, spluttering out mouthfuls of water. Lilith looked startled, eyes wide both at his state and his sudden appearance.

“It's okay, you're okay. I'm here. Don’t be afraid, I won't let anything happen to you.” A hand reassuringly patted his back, and Adam looked up to find Lucifer. He looked so worried, so afraid. Like he cared about him. Adam trusted him implicitly.

“Adam, don't go where I can't find you.” Lucifer said softly, cupping Adam’s face to brush away a mix of water and saliva from his chin.

Adam's cheeks turned ruddy. “Impossible, you’re Lucifer! I know you'd never lose me.”

Adam woke up in his room in the Hazbin Hotel, and groaned as he turned onto his side, pulling his knees up and looking blankly at the wall. The plants Lucifer had put into his room were starting to grow and spread in the last week, only small amounts, but the space was beginning to fill in slowly. Adam had named them all.

He pushed up on one arm, always looking down to check what his body appeared to be, before seeing the clock in his nightstand only read 4:00. Why was he having trouble sleeping? Why did he feel so tense, so unwell. Why did he care where Lucifer went?

Why did it hurt to think he’d lost interest again?

Had he been left behind again?

No. He didn’t care about Lucifer, no matter what Angel poked and prodded him over. He just needed to clear his mind, to take a walk.

One of the few things he kept from what Lucifer had put in his closet was a sleep gown, but it was just a square of cream colored plain soft cotton, with loose sleeves. It was the easiest to slip on and wear at night, and covered the most of his body without forcing him into trousers to sleep in. Adam pushed himself out of bed and walked to the door, slipping on a pair of matching slippers and walking out into the hallway, crossing his arms across his chest.

It was quiet, Adam was fairly sure he had this entire floor to himself, so he mumbled old songs to himself as he walked. It wasn't as though anyone else was banging the doors down to become a Hazbin Hotel resident, so the place felt entirely empty some days - though that might change soon. Charlie had mentioned she'd been trying to contact Heaven, Emily specifically, trying to get a message through to Sir Pentious. Good luck with that, Adam had thought to himself.

Adam exhaled, walking until he found the staircase. Normally, he would have headed down towards the main floor, but this time, Adam looked up the flights of stairs. An exit sign was faintly glowing at the very top of the stairwell, and it felt like he was being called to. He took it step by step until he found himself in front of a large heavy red door, and pushed it open.

Wind hit him as he stepped out onto the roof, making his gown blow and pull against his skin in the gust. The sky never got dark in Hell, and the lights were always on in the city, but it still felt strange to be up here alone at what served as night.

“Eve?”

Or maybe not alone.

Adam looked to his right and found Lucifer sitting on the edge of the hotel, looking out over his city.

Chapter 15

Chapter Text

Adam felt his emotions swirl as Lucifer looked up at him, with a sad but affectionate smile on his face.

“Sorry, if you wanted to be alone up here, I'll go.” Lucifer said, beginning to stand, but Adam snapped at him before he could.

“Don’t.” Lucifer looked as surprised by the command as Adam felt for giving it, but the devil listened and sat back down, blinking in confusion.

“O…Kay. I’ll stay here then?” Lucifer said, looking uncertain with the situation.

“I'm sorry, I just thought...I thought you didn't want to see me? You looked kind of. Disgusted by me last time.”

“Is that why you haven't been around? You're just…hiding?” Adam asked, taking a few steps closer, practically vibrating in anger, fists balling up.

“Just, dump me off here and then you got bored and left? Real f*cking typical, Lucifer! At least the first time you f*cked me first before abandoning me.”

“No, Eve….no, that’s.” Lucifer exhaled, shaking his head.

“I thought you wanted space. I thought you hated me. Everytime I've been around you since you got here, you've looked…miserable. I just wanted you to feel comfortable here, and it seemed like you were starting to get along better with Charlie, with everyone else. I didn't want to ruin that by lingering too much, putting my foot in my mouth.”

Adam felt like his body was at war with itself, which wasn’t exactly a new experience, but this was different. He wanted to shout in his face, he wanted to say, ‘you’re right, I do hate you.’ That side of him battled the part of him that also wanted to scream, ‘why did you leave me again.’ This back and forth inside him that wanted Lucifer nowhere near him, wanted him to vanish from existence, and also still desperate for him to look his way. Muddied by the fact that no matter what, when Lucifer looked at him, he wasn't seeing him.

Adam didn't know what to say, didn't know what words would spill out if he tried to speak, so he simply didn't say anything. He just stiffly walked over and sat down on the edge of the roof, a few feet from Lucifer. He didn't want to look at him, didn’t want him to go.

Lucifer didn’t say anything either, but Adam could feel his eyes on him.

“…You're the only person I know here. Actually know.” Adam said finally, and it was the only thing he could admit to, both to Lucifer and to himself. Vaggie didn't really count, it wasn't like he'd ever been close with her. Lucifer was different.

“Even…if I hate you. And I do, I really f*cking do. You're still the only person I… Do you know what that's like? Feeling entirely f*cking alone?”

“I do Eve,” Lucifer acknowledged quietly, looking regretful. He looked like he thought about touching Adam’s hand but decided against it.

“I’m so sorry. I guess I was… From the news, I thought you were getting along great with Angel, Cherri. I…didn't think you'd even notice me being gone. But, I'm sorry. I should have just talked to you.”

Adam glanced over at him, meeting red eyes. Adam was eager for a change in discussion, especially this one. “You heard about that? The club?”

Lucifer chuckled wryly, nodding his head. “My phone was blowing up every which way; my secretary was losing his mind over it, ranting at me about damage control and public image. Everyone wanted to know who you were, or how much money we’d lost. It was a busy few days. Granted after about the first hour I just turned off my phone.”

Adam felt a bit of excitement building back up inside him. That was right, the money. Lucifer had to be pissed about that, right? He had to have made a good sized dent in that bank account.

“Well, you shouldn't have given me that card, then.” Adam tried to say flippantly, rolling his eyes.

“I must have spent-“

“One million, seven hundred and fifty six thousand. Aaand three cents.” Lucifer answered slowly, conjuring up a long list of bills on a receipt that floated in the air between them.

“Mostly the motorcycle, but the medical bills were hefty. You'd think it’d be Mammon charging me that kind of money, but no, no. Bel takes after her brother in the worst ways. She was not happy with me. Charged me through the roof because I made her work on a weekday.”

“You must be angry.” Adam said, leaning in slightly, eager. Why was he eager?

“You must hate me.”

“You? Never.” Lucifer sent him a crooked smile, but it didn't feel good. Why did he want Lucifer to hate him? Why was he trying to bait out a fight.

“Money means literally nothing to me, Eve. I’m an angel of creation.”

Lucifer held up his hand, and gold began to well up in his palm, looking like blood until it solidified into solid pieces, finally spilling pieces down, falling off and to the ground far below. A sinner from far below exclaimed something in excitement as money began to literally rain on them from above. But Adam felt hollow watching it happen.

“I'll just pad the accounts again next time we do a quarterly review on LuLu World. Say we had an extra good season.” Lucifer shook off the last of the gold before he leaned back, braced on his hands behind him.

“Because, if you're happy, I don't care how much it costs me. I'll do anything for you.”

Adam wanted to destroy him, wanted to push him off the roof, he wanted to f*cking kill him. Why had Lucifer taken that from him too? Why couldn't he let Adam have his anger? He needed something to wipe that f*cking smile off his- oh, Adam realized with a slow grin.

“Hey…that day, when you went ballistic. What's up with you and Alastor?” Adam asked, not looking away, and feeling vindication when Lucifer’s expression turned sour.

“I've never seen you that angry before. ‘s weird. Why does he piss you off more than the exterminators? More than Adam?” Adam tacked on the last sentence as an afterthought, but it did bother him. Alastor was weak compared to him, so why? Had he meant that little to Lucifer?

Lucifer opened his mouth but paused, looking up at the sky. His brows were furrowed, and he looked deep in thought.

“It’s not really him, I don't think, so much as how he is…honestly, it’s similar to why I had so many issues with Adam, but with Adam…Adam was different.” Lucifer paused, looking out over the city, or maybe he was looking at where they'd last fought. Where Adam died.

“I guess…Alastor reminds me of my family, the other seraphim. Or, at least how they treated me. How they saw me.”

Adam’s brows furrowed, he hadn’t missed the fact Lucifer skipped explaining what he started saying about him, but he'd never really thought about how Lucifer saw the other angels. Especially the higher seraphs, ones Adam had never met, only heard rumors of, heard the instructions and rules from, but not seen in person. Humans weren't meant to gaze upon them.

“He’s nothing special, I'm not scared of him. I could vaporize him in a instant. I also know why Alastor is the way he is, I've seen his history of sins, why he ended up in Hell. He murdered his own father, cannibalized him. Did the same to bunch of men, who also all ended up here, because they were men that abused their wives, or children. Alastor's father…” Lucifer trailed off, but the dark expression on his face said enough. It was the same look Cherri had when she looked at her glass that had been drugged.

“He deserved what Alastor did to him.”

Lucifer didn't have to explain more, and Adam’s anger began to dissipate as he thought about the radio demon. It was no wonder he'd started fighting with Lucifer almost immediately as soon as Adam arrived as Eve.

“But, now,” Lucifer grimaced like he'd stepped in muck.

“Alastor hates all father figures, suffice to say. So, me.”

Adam thought about it in silence, about the odd fondness Alastor had shown him. And, similarly, he realized why Alastor had challenged him one vs one when he was Adam. First man, the father of humanity. It was no wonder.

“So, honestly, I sympathize with him to a very limited extent. As a father, anytime I encounter abusive parents down here, I just….I want to rip their hearts out and eat them too.” Lucifer’s horns began to press through his skin, but he didn’t fully transform.

“But Alastor… he tried to take Charlie away from me, my Charlie! He tried to step in as another father figure for her. A better father, supposedly. I'm sure he has other plots, but still…”

“So. You, Lucifer of the morning star…You got pissed because of daddy issues?” Adam asked in some slow blossoming humor, astonished Lucifer would lose that much control over something so simple. Lucifer was the most hated being in creation, he wasn't supposed to get rattled over nothing overlords like Alastor, regardless of his reasons.

Lucifer shook his head, and conjured a little yellow rubber duck into one hand. It looked like Charlie, Adam realized. Lucifer rubbed it’s cheek with his thumb. “…I was mad because I hadn’t been as good of a father to Charlie as I wanted to be, and he reminded me of that. After the divorce, she barely spoke to me. I didn't do enough for her. I didn't even know she was dating again! Let alone a fallen angel! I hated…myself, I guess. I generally do.” Lucifer said, wrapping his hand tightly around the duck, looking distraught.

“So, when it came to you…the way Alastor reacted when you arrived…”

“If you’re about to say you were upset he might, 'take me from you’, I'm going to shove that cane so far-“ Adam started angrily, but Lucifer shook his head again. The duck in his hand morphed, turning into one that looked like him, or, rather, looked like Eve. It was angry looking, scowling up at Lucifer.

“I know I have a…not so angelic possessive side, but moreso…it was just another reminder that I failed someone else I loved. That I'm a failure. That's how he looks at me, that's how they looked at me.” Lucifer breathed out, looking down at the duck with the utmost affection, even when it coughed up a small fireball at him.

“I remember when you used to look at me with all this joy and happiness, you'd come running over as soon as you saw Lilith and I as the sun fell. I remember laying my head in your lap next to the fire, and we’d sing together. You’d tell me all the things you saw that day, about how much you wished I could stay longer. And… that's gone now.”

Tears pricked at Adam’s eyes, and he tried to blink them away. He wanted nothing more to go back in time too, but he didn't know if he wanted to stop himself from ever getting close to Lucifer, or to just relive the sweet moments again. Before the pain, the loneliness. Maybe he just wanted to kill the Lucifer of that era, to watch the look of pain and betrayal to across his face to know how Adam had felt.

“It's your fault. It's your f*cking fault!” Adam hissed, bringing up a hand to wipe at his eyes as his vision swam.

“You-“

“I know you feel that way, and I don't blame you. I blame me too, most of the time.” Lucifer said quietly, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“But Eve, don't you ever wonder…why were we punished so severely? Why was giving you knowledge so heinous? Why did the other seraphim decide to test humanity? It wasn’t fair to you, to Adam, or Lilith.”

Adam looked up, staring at him. Test? What test? “What are you talking about? You broke the rules on purpose, you made me break the rules, of course-

“Why were they rules?” Lucifer met his eyes, with resolution.

“They were made up, Eve, by angels just like me. Not God. They weren’t…inherent? They made you obey like…like pets? I couldn’t just watch idly by. Adam and Lilith didn’t even get along, so they made you, to…what end? Eve? Did you even want to have children with Adam? Did they ask?” Lucifer asked, looking more desperate, confused, and angry. Adam felt a heavy rock in his stomach, pulling him down, until he began to feel vertigo on the buildings edge.

“Why was giving you freedom to make choices for yourself such an awful thing? Why did they punish you for something none of you could understand?” Lucifer pushed again, and Adam had to pull away, pull back, but Lucifer grabbed his wrist and made him look him in the eyes. His skin felt boiling hot but Adam didn’t burn.

“I loved you. I loved you and Lilith so much. When I found out what they’d done to you, to exile you. I offered my own immortal life so you wouldn’t suffer. You, Lilith, Adam too. Heaven wouldn't allow it. No matter how much I begged them, I pleaded with them.” Lucifer told him, voice thick with emotion.

Adam could barely hear over the sharp tone running through his mind, the drum like pounding of his heart with his ribcage. Lucifer had offered to trade his life?

‘Risking your immortal life for sinners? That's some crazy sh*t.’ Adam heard his own words echoing through his head.

Why didn't Heaven accept?

Why did they force him to be exiled?

Why had they forced this body on him?

Who had made the rules?

Why had they made him have children? He didn't want that. He just wanted his Abel, he wanted Lucifer back. He…

He wanted his freedom.

“But,” Lucifer finally let go of Adam’s hands, looking down at them. The skin was tinged red from where he'd grabbed, and with a wave of his hand the skin tone returned to normal.

“I'm not blameless. I guess I'm not even honest. I haven’t…just been avoiding you because you didn't want to see me. After you said…that Adam cared about me. I've been…”

Lucifer pulled back, and seemed to curl in over himself, looking down at his hands. “I know you weren't there from the beginning, but when I first met Adam and Lilith, I was fascinated by them… I adored them both, I had forgotten how much I truly adored them. But Adam…Adam scared me…”

“What?” Adam whispered, already confused, his head feeling full of cotton fluff and questions. He wanted to go back to his room, and ignore the outside world for as long as possible. But this was the closest to answers he'd ever gotten him Lucifer

“Why would…why would you be scared of Adam?”

“...Rejection.” Lucifer said, looking down over the edge of the hotel. He was looking down at where he'd died, Adam realized, pain shooting through him.

“…As the other seraph began to give orders, I saw that Adam followed them to a T. He was perfect, to them. They lauded him with praise. He did everything he was asked to, he was the perfect example of a perfect experiment. Lilith wasn’t. She…she didn’t like the commands she was given, the rules she was being told to follow – frequently at Adam’s command.”

Adam thought back on the early days of Eden, the lessons and orders. Why did Lucifer hate him for that, it had been the other seraph who decided it, not Adam.

“I saw myself in Lilith, at least back then. I was always the outsider. I was the one who was being told that…I was made wrong.” Lucifer sighed, reaching up to tug off his hat, holding it to his chest. The snake there opened it's eyes, yawning, before falling back asleep.

“When you told me that Adam cared about me, it made me realize I had forgotten that I cared about him, once upon a time. So much so. But, as Adam and Lilith began to fight, and he began to lecture her on all the ways she should have been behaving. I knew it was only a matter of time until Adam saw me the same way my siblings did, I knew eventually he'd hate me too.”

Adam clenched his eyes closed, shaking his head. His heart hurt. It wasn't fair, it wasn’t fair of Lucifer to only tell him this now, like this.

“You didn’t even…you didn't give him chance. You don't know-”

“I know. I know that now. It was…a horrible self fulfilling prophecy.” Lucifer answered, closing his eyes and exhaling.

“I was just scared, Eve. It was easier to just pull away from him. You don't know what it was like, in Heaven, before earth. It was a millennia of swords hanging over my head, voices screaming I deserved to be outcast, I deserved to be alone, that I'll never be enough for them.” Lucifer half whispered, almost more to himself than for Adam to hear. When he looked back up at Adam, pain was painted clear as day across his eyes. He'd never seen Lucifer like this, so close to tears.

“Because I wasn’t the kind of angel they wanted me to be. I tried, I did. But, I couldn't do it. I just wanted to be myself and they hated the person that was. I was a failure to them. I was a mistake to them. They only wanted me to be this single way, and I couldn’t.”

Lucifer looked up at the fake sky, eyes searching for something, as a tear rolled down his cheek. “...I tried to repent too, you know. I wanted to go home. I spent everyday, every hour begging in my prayers. Saying how sorry I was. Either take my life or take me back. Finding out Sir Pentious was redeemed…I finally realized that Heaven simply didn't want me back. They’ll never want me as I am.”

Adam’s shoulders began to shake, and he choked on a sob.

He was Lucifer.

Adam just wanted to be Adam again. Why didn't they just let him be Adam?

“Lucifer, I'm not E-" Adam started, tears running down his face, but then a cold splash hit Adam’s cheek. He wiped at it and found his fingers red with blood. He heard a ruffle, and looked upward to find Lucifer’s wings stretched over his head, blocking as droplets of blood came raining down on the rooftop like a blanket.

“Pride ring weather.” Lucifer told him apologetically, as his white suit began to be stained red.

Chapter 16

Chapter Text

The moment had passed and Adam couldn't bring himself to say anymore, to reveal anymore. His world was crumbling in around him and the only foundation holding him up were the last people he ever expected. His entire life, his existence, to the last breaths he'd taken, were all upended.

Adam stared up at his ceiling blankly. Lucifer had seen him back to his room last night, he'd said kind things, sweet things, and Adam couldn't recall a single f*cking one of them. It was tinnitus, sharp and unwavering, boiling through his thoughts like a tea kettle.

He couldn't think, he could barely breathe. He just stared at the ceiling and hoped they'd turn to real clouds, that he'd wake up from a nightmare.

Lucifer was a liar, he kept telling himself, the King of lies! Yet, the more he thought about everything Lucifer had told him, he couldn’t cast it off as made up. He felt used in a way he'd now even been accustom when having children, because instead of having to nobly take on the job of raising humanity – it began to feel like a punishment. It wasn't just that he had to be Eve, no, he had to do all of it because he was just a toy to them. Which made him question every single command he'd received from Heaven.

Was Hell even overpopulated?

Heaven was supposedly limitless, and there was land beyond Pentagram City. Adam clenched his eyes closed, feeling sick to his stomach.

He absentmindedly heard knocking in the back of his mind, but he didn’t process it until the door creaked open and Lucifer stepped into his room, looking uncertain.

“Er, hi Eve. I didn't mean to barge in…I've been knocking for awhile? Charlie said you didn't come to breakfast and she was worried? I'll go if you don't want me here, I just…” Lucifer looked at him with uncertainty, worrying his hands together.

“Are you okay, Eve?”

“No.” Adam said hollowly, not moving an inch.

“Everything I know is a lie. I've been used for the last ten thousand years.”

“Right, okay…” Lucifer winced, before inching closer, to the edge of the bed.

“…Maybe I dumped a bit too much of that onto you.”

“Why was I even made, Lucifer? Is this it?” Adam asked the clouds floating above him.

“Why was humanity made? Was I even the first? Or had they tried before?” Adam had a flash of a memory, the day the floods overwhelmed the planet.

There’d been few humans in Heaven, Adam knew most of them, though it had been a number of generations since Adam had lived - and then suddenly It was flooded with infants, children, young adults. It took over a month, as the last humans on earth died out. They were all wicked, Adam was told by the angels, and at the time he felt disgust towards his descendants, for falling so deeply to sin that they would end up never seeing their children again. It was one of the first moments he decided he hated those sinners burning in Hell. He felt defensive of the scared and traumatized kids who’d perished in the waters.

Had the world actually needed to be wiped clean?

Did Hell?

“Why were humans created? I can't fully answer that, I don't truly know. I mean, we have decided on populating a bunch of planets and moons, and this one very fun asteroid. But, we'd never designed anything like us before. Designed in the image of angels.” Lucifer said after musing on it, sitting down gingerly on the side of the bed. Adam was spread starfish across the middle, so there was still a good deal of room between him and Lucifer.

“I don't expect you to be okay with all of this immediately, it took me a very long time to come to grips with it, and I still occasionally have very severe mental break downs, haha ha...ha..." Lucifer laughed nervously, looking tired too, like he hadn't slept.

"But, I am happy you exist. You mean a lot to me.”

Adam turned his head to the side to look at Lucifer, wanting to believe him, but everything just felt so wrong.

“And, I know Angel Dust sees you as a friend! Husk too, he was looking through his best bottles when I came up here. Even Vaggie was suggesting ideas on how to cheer you up if you weren't feeling great!” Lucifer smiled down at him.

“You have a place here, no matter what.”

“I killed sinners, Lucifer. I've already told you that. How could I ever...” Adam said slowly, voice shaking.

“I still don't know if I even feel guilty over it. When…when I think about Angel and Cherri and Husk, it makes me sick to my stomach, but other sinners I just-“

“Hey, hey,” Lucifer said softly.

“I'm there with you, okay? There's sinners here I don't think ever can be redeemed, as people or into Heaven. But, there's a lot of people who just…didn’t have enough time on earth, or enough love and support. It's not…it's not about accepting everyone, it's about keeping an open mind. That's what Charlie taught me too, very recently even.”

Adam stared at him, the urge to fake gag at the peace and love bullsh*t built up in his chest, but he pushed it back down. He looked back up at the ceiling, but closed his eyes.

“I'll go if you want me to, I just wanted to check to make sure you were okay.” Lucifer said, and suddenly Adam felt a light weight fall over him. He glanced down at his body and found he’d been covered in a fluffy white blanket.

“It gets cold here sometimes, especially this time of year. You wouldn't think we have seasons, but we do.” Lucifer said, before getting up.

“Anyway, if you need anything just squeeze this.”

A small duck appeared on Adam’s side table. It looked like Lucifer, and Adam immediately felt the urge to chew on it for some reason.

Lucifer began to walk away, before a rubber quack sounded through the room, and Lucifer turned to look at him with surprise painted across his features. Adam held it in his hand, staring down at it. He didn't know what he could say, what he could reveal, but…

“You…don't have to leave.” Adam mumbled out quietly, not looking at Lucifer as he said it. He just looked at the toy, something so simple and childlike, made in Hell, while Adam's heaven was bloodstained.

A shape flopped down beside Adam, and he looked up to find Lucifer laying there, one leg crossed over the other. Lucifer was smiling at him, cheeks flushed a sunset orange.

“You want to watch a movie?”

“Huh?” Adam blinked, barely processing the words.

Lucifer snapped his fingers and the ceiling sky was replaced with what looked like old film reel. The room was flooded with the scent of sweet treats and fresh popcorn, and a big bucket now sat between them.

“Most actors unsurprisingly go to hell, especially classic era actors. They were all maaaaajor weirdos! We've got all your favorites from silent films onwards. Plus the writers!” Lucifer explained with a wide smile, and Adam felt a little lighter.

“My favorite Hellywood film - I didn’t name is that, I can see that face you’re making, don't shoot the messenger - was written by Shakespeare!”

Adam felt the ghost of amusem*nt fall over him, “why did Shakespeare go to hell?”

“This is a secret between you and me, but it rhymes with schmlagiarism.” Lucifer whispered out of the corner of his mouth with a smile.

“The things he did actually write himself were wild, very racy. You'll love it.”

A small laugh bubbled up in Adam’s throat as the film began to play and the room grew darker. Soon, the only light was that which they were bathed under from the film rolling over the ceiling. Adam didn’t look at it too much, staring at Lucifer’s profile.

He didn't know if he even wanted to return to Heaven anymore.

It wasn't until partway through the film that he noticed, as Lucifer reached for popcorn, that he'd taken off his wedding ring. It was one of those things where Adam sensed something was wrong before it sunk into him what the actual issue was, and then when he was aware, Adam couldn't look away.

Lucifer noticed him staring after awhile, and the film froze over them, and the room felt silent once more.

“I…realized last night, that I was still holding onto things that I didn't need to be. That maybe…I was sabotaging myself from finding new happiness.” Lucifer said slowly, holding his left hand up, so it was backlit in blue from the film. Adam could see a slight indent on his finger, from where the ring had sat for thousands of years.

“I really did enjoy being a husband, but I'm still a father and I’ll never not thank Lilith for giving me that chance, but it was time to move on.”

Adam watched his hand, wondering what it felt like to be so happy to be a parent. He loved his children in his own way, but Adam never saw any of them as gifts, obviously. But the way Lucifer was around Charlie, the love and affection he had in his voice when he spoke about his daughter, Adam wished he had that.

“What about you?” Lucifer turned over on his side to face Adam, head propped up on his elbow.

“I sort of got the impression you and Adam didn't stay married either. I mean, you don't have to tell me. Feel free to ignore-"

“It's…complicated. We...stuck to ourselves, for the most part.” Adam answered weakly.

“It's not like we…ever asked to be together. But…Adam was a good father, or…or at least he tried, even though it was hard. Really hard. I...We never really wanted kids.”

Lucifer looked surprised by that, then mildly annoyed. “If you didn't want kids, Adam could have at least pulled out. I know you didn't have condoms but-“

“We didn't have sex.” Adam admitted, and Lucifer’s thoughts seemed to slam into a brick wall.

“It…it was just…I was made pregnant. I didn’t…there was no choice. I thought I had to. It was…” Adam clenched his eyes closed and brought his arms up over his eyes, to hide away from the light above him.

“They said that was my role, my reason for existence. Being f*cking fruitful and multiply, and I…I don't know if I did a good enough job? I lost Abel and it killed me, then they took Cain from me, and the other kids…sometimes I think I didn’t love them, I resented them, I hated them, I hated my body. But I did love them. I don’t …”

“Eve, I had…” Lucifer looked horrified, eyes wide and pained as he reached out to place a hand on Adam’s shoulder. Adam flinched from it, pulling away and rolling onto his side, facing Lucifer so at least he could push him away.

“Eve, I had no idea, I am so sorry-“

“I hated you, because I thought you were the reason I was cursed to be in pain, cursed to suffer.” Adam couldn’t even cry anymore, he'd done that enough already, he just felt hollow as if every last piece of him was being carved out.

“But…but now I don't understand. Why did they make me like this?”

Lucifer opened his mouth then closed it, moving in a bit closer and awkwardly wrapped his arm around Adam star, to the point his body was pressed in against Adam’s.

“...Are you seriously trying something right now? I’m so far from wanting to f*ck.” Adam barked out over his pain, looking down at the King as anger lit inside him. Lucifer just pressed his face against Adam’s collarbone, eyes clenched closed. It took Adam a moment to realize what was happening when a tear ran down Lucifer’s face.

“I'm trying to hug you, I'm just short in this form and you're very tall.” Lucifer said, voice thick with emotion.

“I had no idea… I'm so sad and furious on your behalf, I’m disgusted at what my family did to you. I want to fly up there and burn the entire place until it returns to ashes.”

No, Adam thought to himself, there were good people there. He didn't want to see Lute or his girls getting hurt either.

“I'm so sorry you suffered for so long, Eve there's nothing I can say to make that right, but I wish I could. I’d remake all of existence for you."

Adam stared down at him, chin tucked in to see the top of Lucifer’s head. There was something oddly cathartic about talking about this with Lucifer, to see his reaction. It wasn’t anger or pain Adam had truly wanted to pull from Lucifer - it was empathy.

Adam paused before slowly, he wrapped his arms around Lucifer, warming his nose in warm blonde hair, just above Lucifer’s pointed ear. Lucifer’s grip grew slightly tighter, digging into his back but not painfully, and they stayed there for hours.

They were found by Angel Dust who tossed open the door with little regard for Adam’s privacy, and then shouted, “they're f*cking canoodling!”

Adam and Lucifer broke apart, sitting up, and Lucifer’s cheeks had flushed orange again. He was trying to right his clothes, to avoid looking like they'd done anything more than laying together. Adam watched as he awkwardly tried to insist to Angel nothing had happened, but Angel had taken advanced classes in innuendo and was turning everything Lucifer said into a joke.

Angel jumped up on Adam’s bed, asking what they were watching before sprawling over Adam's legs. Charlie and Vaggie were the next to peak in, and quickly joined as Charlie exclaimed she’d not even thought about a movie night. She ended up sitting next to Lucifer, leaning against her father, but holding hands with Vaggie laying beside get. Husk filtered in after awhile, sitting on the floor at the end of the bed, and occasionally Angel would lean over and feed him a handful of popcorn. Adam wasn't sure when Niffty arrived, she was just suddenly curled in against his right side.

“This is nice,” Lucifer said happily, from the crowded pigpile Adam’s bedroom had become.

“And thankfully he's not here-“

Alastor appeared in a plume of red smoke between Adam and Lucifer, grinning as per usual.

“Au contraire mon petit roi.”

Adam laughed at the indignant look on Lucifer's face. Angel Dust passed him a drink from Husk. Niffty snored against his side. Alastor complained about film media. Charlie kept making commentary on the movie only to have Vaggie shush her. The room was warm and sweet.

It felt like family. Maybe he didn't feel as empty afterall.

Chapter 17

Chapter Text

He knew it was a dream from the very beginning, when Adam opened his eyes to a dimly lit grove, a fire crackling nearby, and the sound of panting. It was a dream, or a memory, or somewhere between the two. He'd spent so long trying to forget this moment that Adam could no longer say every second of it stood out plainly in his thoughts, they began to blur together over thousands of years and thousands of faces.

But what he did remember was impressions, feelings.

Lilith, moving hair out of his face with an unreadable expression, whispering to him to just let go, to embrace what he felt. To abandon Adam, to abandon heaven for a new power. He couldn't see her, not in the dream, just the impact she'd left around him. He'd never truly loved her, not like he'd loved Lucifer.

Adam remembered looking down upon his own body, so suddenly aware of it in a way he'd never been before - his skin looking bronze in the firelight, a thin layer of sweat reflecting orange hues. His legs were spread, quivering, toes digging into the sweet grass below.

And a shape between them

Lucifer, his bright blue eyes burning even more intensely than the flames – more encompassing, more possessive, more hungry. Angels weren't supposed to look like this, he'd thought, only briefly. It should have scared him, it should have tipped him off that they were doing something they weren't supposed to.

But Adam didn't care, not then, he just wanted those eyes on him - only him.

Lucifer pulled his hand back from between Adam's thighs, looking in awe at the wetness clinging to his pale white fingers, which he quickly brought to his mouth. Long swipes of his tongue and Lucifer had cleaned it away, consuming some small part of Adam. Need carved it's way through Adam, changing him forever, a root taking hold.

“Eve,” Lucifer whispered, his voice lower and thick with need. He looked desperate.

“Lilith, I need-“

“Then take,” Lilith said simply. It was no matter to her.

“Who can stand against you?”

Lucifer's hands dug into his thighs, pulling him closer, and Adam whined. He didn't know then what he wanted, but he’d wanted Lucifer. Closer, against him, he wanted to feel like this more. Forever, like Lucifer promised, they'd be together forever.

“I don't want to hurt her,” Lucifer whispered, but he trailed against Adam's skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“This is all so new to me, I don't know what I'm-“

“Hurt me more,” Adam begged him, but he didn't fully understand his own words. He just needed Lucifer, and there was a warmth and pressure building inside him.

Lucifer stared at him, and it felt like the forest had grown silent just for them. Lucifer would make good on his words, but not in the way either of them thought in the moment.

Adam remembered Lucifer's mouth on his skin, his breast, his neck, before his teeth had become sharp points and his tongue serpentine. The initial push, he remembered that too. It burned, but it wasn't painful - it was too much, but Adam dug his fingers into Lucifer’s back with a gasp, not wanting to let him go. Six wings emerged above them, and moans that Adam could barely place as his own filled the air. Lucifer soon ate those too, as his tongue licked against Adam’s-

Adam woke up in hell with a gasp, then horror settled in on him as he looked up at the familiar fake night sky of his bedroom. The milkway spread across the ceiling, a grin, taunting him for his dreams. Adam lifted the blankets immediately, and it was one of the few times ever that he was glad not to see his dick proudly standing to attention.

Still, Adam thought, laying in bed, he could still feel the after affects. He felt…sticky.

Adam looked over at the ducky that sat on his bedside table. The thought flashed through his mind that he could call Lucifer here in an instant and then - No, Adam thought as he sat up, rubbing his face in his hands. He just needed a shower and to never have another wet dream about Lucifer again. Thankfully he’d not even gotten to the point where Lucifer ate him ou- nope, bad thoughts, Adam tried to push those to the very back of his mind.

They'd been getting along better at the hotel in the last week. With everyone, really. Cherri came over over one day and they watched bad movies, he'd talked more with Husk about the overlords, Alastor had invited him to brunch with someone named Rosie, Vaggie offered to talk to him, hinting around the fact they'd both taken parts in the exterminations, though Adam tried to avoid that subject as much as possible.

Sometimes, Adam forgot they didn't actually know who he actually was, because it seemed like they knew him. It was easy to forget he was still putting up a façade.

And with Lucifer... thousands of years of hate was beginning to thaw and melt away, and after initial pain and sorrow, Adam felt more content with that fact. They'd talked more about heaven, not in depth, but enough to have common ground. They'd talked about after Lucifer and Lilith's fall more, not a lot, but it felt good to vent when he could. Adam realized there were things he could tell Lucifer that he couldn't with anyone else. Lucifer was incredibly sympathetic towards him, and it was nice to see someone actually get furious on his behalf, even if he didn't know the full extent. They were tentatively getting along in small doses over the last week, and while it was still awkward, part of Adam really missed that. Missed them.

Until it led to dreams that led to Adam in a cold shower, adamantly refusing to touch himself.

“I just have to…not get so close to him, is all. It's not like I actually want to f*ck him. We're just venting about shared history, that's all.” Adam whispered to his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. “I just need some space between us. Should be super f*cking easy.”

Even his reflection didn't seem to believe him.

Adam got off his motorcycle, mentally cursing himself from here to Alpha Centauri and back. Angel and Husk knew exactly what to say to get Adam to do something and it was getting really f*cking annoying. Damn his pride. They'd gotten him to clean dishes the other night before Adam realized what had happened.

Lucifer stepped stiffly off behind him, looking a little rattled. His red eyes were blown wide, and Lucifer’s rarely seen tail had come out, waving back and forth like an excited cat, but his body wasn't moving an inch. Adam was debating if he needed to slap him to get him to work again.

“Worth the money, right?” Adam said, trying to push down the blush on his cheeks.

Of course Lucifer had asked to ride the motorcycle, of course he would. Of course Angel and Husk would exchange a look that would send most people running in the other direction, as they slowly gas lit Adam into offering Lucifer a ride around town.

They'd just spent they last twenty minutes riding around town, with Lucifer’s arms wrapped tightly around Adam’s waist, or at least add far as they’d go around his waist. Lucifer had shouted at first, especially as they dove in and out between traffic, but eventually, he buried his face into the leather of Adam’s jacket. It was a lot of Lucifer pressed in against Adam on something that vibrated, and Adam regretted his choices almost immediately.

“It was…so different than flying, words don't even…” Lucifer got out finally, looking oddly invigorated, but Adam understood. Flying was flying, driving had more power behind it. He looked up to meet Adam’s eyes, face turning peachy.

“I didn’t squeeze you too hard, did I? I don't really know my own strength sometimes.”

“I'll live,” Adam shrugged a shoulder, trying not to meet his eyes. “...Relatively speaking.”

Lucifer smiled at the comment before saying, “thank you for the ride.”

“Yeah, uh... No problem.” Adam said awkwardly, trying not to chew on his lower lip. There were so many innuendos he could make right now, but it wasn't the right time. They just stood there on the side of the road silently for a minute, other cars driving past kicking up red dust around them.

“So, Eve…I was wondering…you don't have to, but I just wanted to ask if, and feel free to say no-“ Lucifer started, rambling and double backing on his words.

“Lucifer, get to the f*ckin' point, you're not a school girl.” Adam huffed, crossing his arms.

“I'm throwing a dinner for the Ring leaders at my manor. Charlie has always come in the past. I told her that this year she could bring Vaggie as her date, because I think one or both of them is pondering proposing, so I really wanted to invite Vaggie as an extension of the family.” Lucifer got out quickly. Adam felt a weird surge of happiness for Charlie and Vaggie, before the strangeness of it stole it away.

“Then I wondered if... Maybe...you’d like to attend? I know you're not family, but... You're important to me. None of the other hotel guests would be able to come. But, I thought maybe you'd like to meet the sins; Bee, Satan, Ozzie would all love you.”

Adam blinked as the words filtered in, thinking it over. He'd just decided to not get in as close to Lucifer, let alone going to a f*cking important dinner with him - but he'd already f*cked up the whole not being close thing. And, was this Lucifer asking him as like a dinner date? A romantic date? Because they weren't even close to that yet. Or ever, Adam had to add to his own thought process. He was definitely absolutely never going to be anything more with Lucifer.

But, part of him was curious to see Lucifer as an actual King as well. The entire time Adam had known Lucifer, he'd never seemed particularly leader material. It seemed obvious to him that Lilith was actually the one in charge, yet nothing had seemingly changed in the time Lilith had been in heaven. So, maybe Lucifer did do more than he thought. He'd heard the sins were exceptionally strong, rivaling most angels, so Lucifer commanding them was impressive.

Plus... he kind of wanted to see Lucifer’s Castle.

“Okay, I'll go.” Adam said, but quickly added onto it.

“Don't get any funny ideas or anything, I'm not your date.”

Lucifer laughed nervously, clearly having been thinking along those lines as he waved his hand. “No, no, no. I just want to show you around more of Hell! And you’ll love my manor garden!”

Adam flashed on his dream again and had to pull his helmet down over his face to not show himself blushing. Lucifer hadn’t loved the mask at first, frown curling across his face like the f*cking Grinch, but he didn't actually say anything about Adam. Still, it’d be enough to distract him from any more Eden talk hopefully.

“Want to go back to the hotel?” Adam asked him, throwing a leg back over the seat.

“What were they getting up to when we left, anyway?”

Lucifer paused before getting back on, looking like realization just dawned on him. “Did you agree to let me ride this so you'd be able to avoid setting up things at the hotel?”

“Nooo, I would never.” Adam said mockingly, having noticed Vaggie dragging something out of storage just before they left. Angel and Husk had their manipulations, but so did Adam. Lucifer just laughed, getting on the bike and put his hands on his hips again. Adam tried not to think thoughts in general at that moment.

“I think Charlie said she wanted to set up karaoke. This might shock you but-“

“Most musicians end up in hell too?” Adam looked back over his shoulder. Lucifer made a face like, 'you got it in one.’

“There’s a bunch of great songs, and I bought Charlie that karaoke machine years ago. When she was going through her teenage years and hated everyone and everything, especially me, it was one way to interact with her.” Lucifer explained, sounding nostalgic. Adam found it hard to imagine Charlie of all people having an antisocial period, but he had seen pictures in the hotel of her scowling and angry.

“Eve, would you want to sing a song with me?” Lucifer asked excitedly as Adam revved up the engine. He nearly missed the question, and Lucifer must have thought he'd not heard him.

“…Yeah, I’ll sing with you.” Adam answered softly.

Driving past a line of windows, Adam caught a glimpse of himself in the window. The familiar expression of his helmet, so similar to his exterminator mask, seemed to be saying, ‘so much for not getting too close.’

Chapter 18

Chapter Text

Adam was surprised when they pulled up to the hotel and found the grounds packed full of cars. How long had they even been gone? He'd thought only maybe an hour, but it had to have been longer than that. It seemed strange, having not really seen a single other person here who wasn’t a resident apart from Cherri, and Lucifer clearly felt the same way. His lips thinned to a small and deep frown line, and he didn’t speak to Adam as he got off the motorcycle. Lucifer snapped his fingers, and an identical copy of Lucifer appeared beside them, wearing a valet outfit.

“Take it back to the garage.” Lucifer ordered, and valet Lucifer bowed to him, though it sent a cheeky wink at Adam.

Adam raised his eyebrows, getting off the bike himself and pulling off his helmet to let Valet Lucifer take it away. Vaggie had nearly skewered him the first time he'd worn the mask and Adam wasn't looking for a part three of that with a bunch of strangers in the hotel.

“Who the f*ck is here? Charlie doesn't have that many friends right? She's a nerd.” Adam questioned him, but Lucifer just shook his head, saying without saying he didn't know either. He was clearly worried about Charlie as he went inside, and Adam wondered how it felt to be a parent of a single child. He remembered only briefly the time before Cain was born, but death didn't exist to him then. In Hell, Lucifer must have been terrified for his daughter’s sake constantly. Even before other sinner’s arrived, it wasn’t a safe place.

The doors opened before Lucifer, without him touching them, and they were greeted by a crowd filling the lobby, along with dimmed lights, a disco ball, streamers, and what looked like beams of lasers shining multicolored lights around the room. Mostly the guests looked like young sinners, but there were a handful of Hellborn intermixed too – including one that reacted to Lucifer with a wide smile and a wave of a hand. Lucifer immediately relaxed and sent her a weary smile, which put Adam more at ease as well. He hadn’t realized just how on pins and needles he felt after seeing Lucifer on edge.

“People from Charlie’s school, plus I'm guessing friends of Angels… judging by the, you know.” Lucifer said with a sigh, gesturing at a group of very scantily clad sinners that walked by. For a moment Adam pondered the whole concept of schools. His kids never were in any, they weren't invented for a very long time. Adam had to teach them to survive all by himself, though angels would appear time to time to give messages and lessons. To check up on Adam.

“And Helsa is here for some reason, I wonder if Charlie knows... Oh! I wonder if Frederick is here?”

“Who the f*ck is Frederick?” Adam asked, for some reason being annoyed by the very fond tone Lucifer said the name in. Lucifer was looking around like he was trying to find someone, which sent a spike of something through Adam that he didn't want to put to words.

“A friend of mine, a Lord from Envy, second in command down there. He's great! I actually met him and his wife before I met Leviathan. She was pregnant at around the same time as Lilith, with Helsa. Granted, of course, she laid eggs, but you know how it is. Helsa was the only surviving spawn, and you can tell by the way she's a total bitch.” Lucifer laughed, making his way through the crowd as they heard music start up again.

“Yeah, Frederick and I go way back. He helped with input on LuLu World, back in the day, and he's willing to talk to the Goetia for me, which is great, because I can't stand them.”

So, Frederick is married, Adam thought to himself, before kicking himself for thinking it. Then he noticed Vaggie and Charlie going up to the mic’s.

Lucifer looked excited, grabbing Adam’s hand and pulling him through the crowd which parted like the sea for the King of Hell. Charlie and Vaggie began to sing For Good from the play Wicked, which didn't really match the energy of the party happening around them, but suddenly about a hundred copies of Lucifer appeared throughout the crowd to cheer them on. Adam let out a small surprised laugh, smiling at Lucifer’s over exuberance, before Vaggie started singing her lines.

Adam watched her, realizing he'd never truly heard her sing like this, with so much emotion and care. He and Lute sang all the time, he loved karaoke. Adam also performed with bands from time to time in Heaven, no one was as good of a guitar player as he was, Jimi and Stevie could only wish they were at his level. But Vaggie was so f*cking stern all the time, she never went along like some of the other girls - he wasn't expecting her voice to sound…like that. Almost sweet.

They did make a cute couple, though he could hear Lute calling them an abomination in the back of his mind. A fish girl nearby took him from his thoughts as she booed the two, before about five Lucifer’s turned to glare her down.

“Helsa,"Lucifer's voice rattled the floor boards.

“Sorry, Mister Morningstar sir…” She mumbled and Adam snickered at her. She glared at him, eyes opening across her face but Adam just made a show of flipping her the middle finger as though he was winding up a jack in the box.

“Eve?” Adam turned to find a Lucifer looking at him, and he couldn't say why or how, but he knew it was the original and not one of the very many copies scattered around. There was something in his eyes, Adam just knew.

“Do you want to sing with me? I have a song idea.”

“Is it from Disney?” Adam asked flatly, hand on his hip.

“I'm not singing a Whole New World with you. It's cute and all, but it has been done to f*cking death.”

Lucifer paused. “...I have another duet idea?”

“Is it from any musicals, like say, from Grease?” Lucifer made a face, and opened his mouth, but Adam cut him off.

“Or any Bradley Cooper Lady Gaga duets. I f*cking refuse, man. Everyone and their goddamn uncle sings that song.”

“Just follow me,” Lucifer said, exasperated.

“I think I know one that's more your style?”

Adam hummed in disbelief but followed behind him until they reached the machine being ran by Husk, of course. Though that did beg the question who was running the bar with this many people shoved into the hotel. Vaggie and Charlie were just coming off the stage, and Lucifer bounced on his heels excitedly and began to gush to his daughter how great they'd been together.

“You'll sing with me too, right dad?” Charlie asked and Lucifer beamed at her, and Adam felt a pang run through him, but he pushed it to the side. How long had it been since he sang with any of his children?

“What are you two singing?” Husk asked, looking bored.

“I'll warn you that Cherri will actually kill you if you try to sing Cherry Bomb. Also, keep to general karaoke rules down here. No Hellborn music, nothin’ older than a hundred years, but you can do any language you want.”

Adam pondered it, he was a big fan of Mongolian throat metal bands.

Lucifer appeared out of no where beside Adam with a big smile, having apparently left Charlie’s side in the blink of an eye. “Do you have, ‘Close my Eyes Forever’?”

“This is Hell, you invented the machine – we have every song.” Husk said in annoyance, chin in the palm of his...paw?

Adam blinked as soon as his brain processed the song title. Adam knew most music, not as much recently, but having been alive since the very beginning of humanity, he had plenty time to listen to all music created by said humanity. He knew how to play every instrument from cowbell to bagpipe. Since the 1980s though, the sheer overwhelming amount of it, coming from an overwhelming amount of humans, made it harder to keep on track – but Adam always made time for Ozzy Osbourne, and Lita was hot.

But… that wasn't a super perky song, it was a strange choice from Lucifer.

“I thought you'd like it more than the usual duet music. You seem to like that era of human music more. But, I could pick something else?” Lucifer said nervously, seeing Adam's reaction.

Adam paused, not really knowing how to feel. He knew the song, it wasn't one he'd listened to a lot, but he was expecting more like Under Pressure or something. Or something more show tunes-y. He didn't even think it would work well as a karaoke duet.

“It's a bit, you know. Slow?” Adam waved his hand, and Lucifer seemed to think on it for a minute.

“...What about Little Talks?” Lucifer suggested and Adam was relatively amenable. It was a bit more active anyway.

“I’d pick that over whatever else you're about to say because I'm guessing it was Elton John or something.” Adam answered with a lopsided smile.

Lucifer smiled brightly, moving toward the microphone. “There’s time for Elton later.”

Adam heard Angel cheer from the crowd as he approached the other mic the screen turned on in front of them, and sound began to filter through the huge speakers. The lights flickered to hold and red hues, and Adam looked upwards to see Niffty manning the lighting system which was…concerning.

“Sing your heart out you magnificent tall bitch!” Angel Dust screamed, surrounded by another group of probable p*rn stars and sex workers, judging by how attractive they all were. Man, it was like being around Peter’s weirdly sexy fanbase all over again.

But then the music started and the mood shifted. Lucifer caught his gaze, and Adam felt his face warming up in a way that had nothing to do with the stage lights aimed down on them. Lucifer didn't seem like he was looking at the words at all, or the crowd, none of the screams or hollering. Just at him. Adam felt flustered, but something felt off about it.

Adam also hadn't really thought about the lyrics for the song when he'd agreed to it, the back and forth between his lines and Lucifer’s. It added to his feelings of unease, as words of loss and longing blanketed his lines, only met by the reassuring calmness of Lucifer’s lines; a ghost trying to help the haunted.

Adam never had that outside the Garden.

There's an old voice in my head that’s holding me back

Well, tell her that I miss our little talks

Their voices worked well together, he always knew Lucifer was an amazing singer, he'd loved singing with him in Eden - but the song wasn't meant for this kind of space. The entire crowd was cheering, but there was something about the song that left a hole in Adam’s chest. The pain he sang with was real.

Soon it will be over, and buried with our past.

All that's left is a ghost of you.

It wasn't the romantic ballad he'd been expecting, although throughout the entire song, Lucifer watched him as though it was. There was so much affection in his voice, in his eyes. It was almost too bright up on the stage. To Adam, the song felt more like a eulogy.

God, how he'd loved Lucifer back then. It scared him to feel anything like it again, because it all led to-

Now we're torn apart, there's nothing we can do – just let me go, we’ll meet again soon

It felt as though it truly was Lucifer trying to ease his sorrow, telling him he was there for him, no matter what. That he would always be there for Adam. No, for Eve – because this was a lie. It was like a pail of water had been dumped over him, washing over him like wave. Washing his body to shore.

His lies were growing heavier to carry.

He'd barely been aware the song had ended when it did.

“I loved that! Maybe we should do another song? How long has it been since we sang together?” Lucifer said, looking excited. His cheeks were flushed, and there was still adoration on his face.

“What do you think, Eve?”

“Nicely done you two,” Husk commented as they left the stage. Another girl had apparently queued up a song and ran up past them. Adam vaguely recognized the song that began to play. Kate Bush, he thought.

“Uh, maybe another song in a bit… I think I need a drink.” Adam mumbled, feeling more tired than he had in awhile. It was true he didn't sleep super well, but he didn't want to think about why right now. Lucifer’s brows furrowed, like he was about to ask if Adam was okay, but Adam turned away from him. He couldn't look at him right now.

He began to think on the lyrics of the first song Lucifer had suggested, the one they hadn’t sung as he walked through the crowd towards the bar. Wondering why Lucifer had suggested it.

If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged?

If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain the same?

“Hey, bitch!” Cherri appeared beside him at the bar, drinks in her hands, looking excited and more than a bit buzzed.

“Loved hearin’ you sing! You want to do a song together?”

I know I've been so hard on you

I know I've told you lies

“Sure...” Adam answered, lifting his glass, but he didn't really mean it - or maybe he did. Maybe he’d be able to kick aside whatever this feeling was. Guilt? He did want to sing with Cherri, with Angel, with Lucifer, with-

“Great! I've got a few weird ones picked out! I'm so bloody tired of the been there done that songs! Like this f*cking one!” Cherri slung her hand towards the stage as the girl sang, splashing her drink everywhere.

You don't want to hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies

Oh, tell me, we both matter, don't we?

Adam tried to ignore the voice.

Another sinner began to sing, and Cherri blanched, while Adam hadn't noticed the first song had even ended. “This is boring! Who gives a sh*t about REM!” Cherri booed loudly, cupping her hands in front of her mouth.

Every whisper, of every waking hour, I’m choosing my confessions

Adam downed his drink, and another in quick succession as Losing My Religion played through. The words and lyrics of all the songs were beginning to mix and match in his head, until they didn't make sense. He heard hints of something in an old tongue hidden in between the words, an old memory of an old song trying to break through.

As the alcohol began to blur the edges of Adam’s mind and Cherri and the rest of the world turned to fuzz, a familiar voice rang out across the crowd. Adam snapped his head over to look at the stage where Lucifer stood, singing with Charlie. A white light bathed them both, and they looked like angels. It felt like all Adam could focus on. It wasn't an uncommon song, and Adam knew one of the original singers in Heaven. Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell’s Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – but it wasn’t the words Adam listened to, his mind was a mess of words and thoughts. All he could focus on was them. Lucifer looking at Charlie, smiling bigger than Adam had ever seen; Charlie too, looked near tears as she sang her heart out. He could tell they'd had issues in the past, even if Lucifer hadn't told him as much. But they’d gotten past that, and they were together now.

He saw a loving father, happy to be reunited with his child.

Adam threw his last drink back and clenched his eyes closed.

“Father?” Miriam stood in his doorway, halo glowing above her head. It’d been so long since he'd seen her. She looked like Emily. Her sister Devorah stood behind her, holding Seth's hand. “We just want to talk to you and mother-“

Adam leaned forward out his door, trying to play it cool. “Look, sweetheart, it's nice to see you and all, but I’m busy. Your mother is busy, in fact, she's gone, yeah she’s off doing whatever it is she goes. I am, on the other hand, being put in charge of something new here, I have an entire army to train. So, go off, explore Heaven, find your own paradise. You don't need to worry about me anymore.”

Miriam had looked like a kicked dog, opening her mouth to protest, but Seth spoke first, distaste written across his features. “Cain was right about you.”

He wasn’t, Adam thought to himself, but he didn't want them around. He couldn’t.

“Eve?” Miriam's face was replaced with Vaggie's as Adam opened his eyes. Instead of his children, her and Cherri stood in front of him, looking mildly concerned.

“You okay? You kinda clocked out there for a minute. Do you need water?” Vaggie said cautiously, touching his hand, which he snapped back to his side.

“I'm f*cking fine. I just…I have a headache, okay? I'm going to get out of here for a bit.” Adam said weakly, pushing away from them too, pushing away from the music. His body felt lighter from the alcohol, but his feet felt heavier, more aware of the lack of his wings than before.

He walked out through the crowd, towards the hallway to go upstairs. He wanted to get to his room, to his bed, he wanted to curl up until everything stopped being so much. He only got up one flight and onto the landing, before the thumping of the music downstairs matched the throbbing of his headache.

“Mother?” Abel said, sitting down beside him at the fire, with a small smile on his face. He'd just turned 14 years old, and he was getting Adam’s height already. But, his hair was a light shaggy blond and his eyes were blue, more striking on his tanned skin. The angels said Adam would need to have daughters soon, wives for Cain. They never mentioned Abel. “A few of the ewes gave birth. Should I butcher any of the lambs?”

“No, not this year.” Adam said, weaving together cordage. “We have enough right now, but the weather has been poor and the fishing has been slim. We need to fatten up what we can for the time of scarcity, when winter comes we’ll butcher them.”

Cain laid on a bed of reeds off to the side, looking like Adam writ small, 12 years old and acting every bit of it. He shot a glare at his older brother, upset that the bulk of his crops had withered in a very early heat wave. “Shouldn't you be asking father? Mother isn't meant to make these decisions for us. Women aren't meant to, that's what the angels say. Father is our keeper.”

Abel looked at his little brother, then back at Adam, saying nothing on the subject – but the look in his eyes said enough.

Adam sat down on the steps of the stairwell, breathing hard. When he closed his eyes he could see Lucifer and Charlie again. They were laughing and singing, close in a way Adam never had the chance to be. He couldn't ever fully be himself around his children and it killed him every day.

“Okay…Go!” Adam yelled, and his son’s took off – running as fast as they possibly could along the river bank, circling around the trunk of a great palm, before running back to him.

Abel, at 6, was far and away a faster runner than his baby brother. His legs were longer, and he’d been working with Adam more. Cain struggled to keep up, still carrying baby weight on chubby legs – but as they got closer to Adam, Abel made eye contact with Adam, before making a show of dramatically tripping and falling down. Cain took the opportunity and ran as hard as his legs would take him until he reached Adam, winning the race.

Adam whooped, grabbing up Cain and spinning him around in the air as his youngest child giggled and screamed in delight. “Winner, winner! Guess who gets to pick dinner!”

“I can't wait to tell mother!” Cain said, beaming at him.

Cain continued to ramble excitedly as they walked back to their camp, carried in Adam’s arms. Abel skipped along next to them, trying to keep up with Adam's strides. Adam reached down to ruffle his hair with a smile. He was a good big brother.

Adam tried to focus on the sound of the music, but there was a ringing in his ears.

He'd been an awful parent, hadn't he?

“I can’t believe you let me suffer for your misdeeds!” Cain shouted in his face, furious. “Abel wasn’t even human and you let them send me away for ridding the world of an abomination?! You lied to me, you lied to Heaven! I repented, I wanted to see Abel, to beg for forgiveness – but now? I'm glad I killed him.”

“He was your brother, Cain, you don't mean that” Adam said weakly, in Eve’s form, stupidly agreeing to meet him like this. His heart was breaking again, and it seemed it would never fully heal. He'd never let and of his children see him like this again. “You loved him.”

“No,” Cain said lowly, looking so very much like Adam it felt like he was speaking to a mirror. “You did. You’re just as awful as Lilith before you, and father is a pathetic ignorant coward for not getting rid of you and Abel when he had the chance.”

Adam slid down the staircase wall, dropping his face into his knees, choking on a sob. He flinched when a hand softly touched his shoulder, afraid to know who would be there when he looked up. Adam opened his eyes to find Lucifer in from of him, kneeling in the stairwell, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Eve, are you okay? Vaggie told me...Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?”

“I'm so sorry,” Adam whispered shakily, tears streaming down his face, and the music in the distance felt like a heart beat around them.

“I'm so sorry, I lied to you, I didn't know if you knew, I was scared, I'm so sorry, but it was…I’m-“

Lucifer’s eyes widened, and he seemed to freeze up. His voice was tense as he asked, “…what exactly did you lie about?”

“What did Lucifer look like?” Abel had asked him, not long before he died. Adam didn’t move a muscle, he didn't talk about Lucifer much, except for the betrayal of his trust. “...He looked like me, didn't he?”

“…he was shorter,” was all Adam could get out.

“... Father, am I a monster?” Abel mused, looking rather forlorn. He wondered what Cain had told his older brother this time, what the angels had told Cain. Adam pulled him into a tight hug, kissing the top of his head, not knowing it would be the last time.

“You're my son,” Adam answered.

“Abel was your son.” Adam told Lucifer.

Chapter 19

Chapter Text

Adam’s eyes hurt, his head hurt worse, and his heart more than either. He sat on the steps, more crumpled against the wall than leaning against it; still hearing but not processing the distant notes of music playing down below, rocking the entire hotel. Lucifer sat beside him, thigh touching his, but not saying anything. More than Adam, it seemed Lucifer needed the closeness of him.

He’d not said a single word since Adam had told him about Abel.

But Adam could see the tears dripping down his face as they sat in silence, the realization of a son he'd never known, and a son he'd lost, all sinking in. His shoulders had shook, and Adam had never seen him so broken before. He'd never heard him so broken before, the shattered cry he'd let out. He remembered Lucifer telling him he’d do anything for Charlie. Yet, he'd not been able to do anything for Abel. All his power, all of Hell, and he’d not known anything.

“…Do you…” Lucifer started slowly, breaking the silence between them, voice sounding like sandpaper. He seemed to think over his words, pausing and looking pained.

“Did he know? About me?”

“…Yeah,” Adam answered, just as tiredly and far not empty.

“Hard not to notice, he was f*cking blonde. Not like I…or Adam, have recessive genes.”

Lucifer just stared down the staircase, the tiniest smile turning up the tip of his lips.

“He looked like me?”

Adam felt haunted, picturing his son asking him the same question.

“…Taller.”

“Do you think he'd ever… want to meet me? To…talk to me?” Lucifer let out a shaky exhale, raking a hand down his face before turning to look at Adam.

“I just…want to see him, to…to get to know him? I know he probably thinks I'm a monster, especially after what happened to Adam…but, but I want to just see him? Even just to say hello. That's all I want.”

Adam didn't blink as a tear ran down his face, he didn't feel it, just the warmth it left behind. All he saw was the hill he’d climbed to find Cain screaming and begging, holding his limp brother, splattered in blood. Abel had looked so pale, white, more like his father than ever before. Cain shook him, and a bloodied jaw bone lay on the ground beside them. Cain hadn’t understood what death meant to humans either, just as Adam hadn’t, but they'd not needed it explained any more. In that instant they truly became human.

“Abel isn't in Heaven.” Adam spoke each word as though the air was being pulled from his lungs. The desperation on Lucifer’s face shattered into confusion and pain.

“What? What do you mean? Abel was…Abel was supposed to be the good son, wasn’t he? Why…Why wouldn't he…because of me? Just because of me?!” Lucifer shook, eyes wide, begging Adam to say he was wrong. He stood on the stairs, stood over Adam.

“He's…he's not in Hell, Eve! He's not in my book, and Hell wasn’t nearly as populated back then, it was only Hellborn! I would have…I would know if he was here, I would have noticed my own son! He must be in Heaven, where…where else could he be?!”

“I think,” Adam said slowly, picturing the first time Abel had kicked inside his stomach. After the pain of being removed from the garden, it had felt like a miracle. Adam hadn't hated his body then, he hadn’t felt alone anymore.

“I think either his soul couldn't pass on, because he wasn't a human nor an angel…or…” Adam swallowed hard, feeling a rock in his throat that wouldn’t go down. He didn't want to put words to his thoughts, his suspicions. It felt sacrilegious.

“...Or the angels destroyed his soul. I know angels told things to Cain, implied things about Abel to him…I don't think they ever wanted him in heaven.”

Lucifer's face fell, and he stumbled back a few steps, horrified as the ramifications sunk in. His son had died because of his blood - his soul had likely been destroyed because of his blood. Because heaven hadn’t tolerated Lucifer’s ideas, his rebellion, and because they wouldn't accept his repentance, Abel suffered. Lucifer's clenched his eyes closed, in pain and anger, fresh tears dripping down his white face. When they opened, his pupils had turned golden and the rest bled red. More eyes spread across his skin, out of his body, eyes opening down the entire corridor.

“How dare they.” Lucifer’s voice was broken, layered, and the entire hotel went dark. Adam heard people yelling downstairs, and the stairwell became lit by Lucifer’s flames and eyes alone. Golden lights in a sea of dark, with one burning flame brighter than the rest – the morning star.

But his fury did nothing, Abel wasn’t coming back. Adam had accepted he'd never see his son again a very long time ago. Nearly 9 thousand years ago, when he landed in heaven and realized it was devoid of all human souls. His son was not there, and the angels felt only pity over his pain. He'd looked everywhere, hoping against hope that they were wrong.

“And you.” Lucifer snarled, and Adam met his illuminated gaze – this was the Lucifer Adam remembered from his death. Something close to fear, and maybe acceptance washed over him. The warmth of him, hugging him close in bed while movies played overhead became a distant memory.

“How could you? How could you go to Heaven and work for them?! How could you just ignore what they'd done?!”

“I didn't know. I don’t know. I don't know what happened to him.” Adam said, shaking his head, bringing his knees up to his chest. It had been denial, and what he still hated to think of as brainwashing. He'd trusted so blindly, never overthinking his own actions. It was easier not to.

“I didn’t want to believe angels would…”

“Kill?” Lucifer laughed spitefully at him.

“Did you ever look in a mirror? Did you look at your husband? Do you know how many souls the exterminators killed? How many mother’s forever lost their Abel’s because of you and Adam?! All Heaven does is take and take! After what they did to you, how do you not see that?!”

Adam's vision swam until Lucifer was nothing but a white blur in front of him. Everything Heaven told him was supposed to be the right thing, the true thing, the good thing. They were just. They'd never do anything to be cruel, angels couldn’t be – he believed that. They wouldn't have hurt his Abel. They would have brought him into heaven with open arms if they could. It must have been Lucifer’s doing, after all, that's what he thought. They'd not been subtle with that condemnation. Those rumors had spread even on earth, though later scribes mixed up which son was born first.

He'd been so blind.

Adam remembered how exhilarating it had been to kill his first sinner – oh, it had felt good. He felt free. These monsters that had forgone the lessons Adam had passed down, monsters that chose to burn in hell deserved what they got. They betrayed him, betrayed humanity. They weren't human to him. They weren’t people anymore. He was righting the wrongs of ever eating that f*cking apple in the first place. He wasn't being cruel, he was just…

“The exterminations were wrong. I was wrong. I...” Adam choked out, curling in on himself.

He deserved to be in Hell, maybe more than most.

He dug his fingers into his hair, into his scalp until it hurt. His shoulders shook as cried, and it stung to take deep breaths, like cobwebs had grown throughout his lungs.

It’d been so easy to cut himself off from his past, from his children. He'd been compartmentalizing himself his entire existence, he knew how to reinvent himself on a whim. He’d jumped at the chance to just be Adam, to be a leader in Heaven, to get revenge on Lucifer’s ilk. Maybe part of him reveled in taking away life after being forced to make it for so long.

But he'd become the monster.

“I should have stayed dead too,” Adam whispered to himself and the silence.

The power flickered back on, he could hear it from the noise down below, the cheers and the bass that began to beat again. Arms wrapped around his shoulders slowly, and he heard Lucifer let out a shaky sigh as the King held him tightly against his chest.

“Don't say that, please don't say that…I'm sorry, I was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I don't know what you went through up there. I…I know better than most what it feels like to want to believe them, to hope for the best. I'm sorry, Eve. You are…you're one of the most special beings to me in all of creation. I don’t want to think about a world without you in it, even if I can't see you anymore.” Lucifer pressed a kiss to the top of his head, rubbing comforting circles into Adam’s back.

“I'm sure you did the best you were able with what you knew, that’s all I could do, that's all any of us can do. And…it’s…it's not like you had parents. I know why you trusted Heaven. I'm sorry I reacted like that, I’m...emotionally frayed, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you.”

Adam sniffed, feeling his body warm once more, and his senses slowly came back to him. Lucifer's cologne was soft, woodsy, with a hint of sweetness and smoke. It felt smelled like a memory. Lucifer was warm, so very warm, like the sun around him. Energy overflowing from his body, from his form that struggled to house an angelic being.

“I had you.” Adam said quietly after a moment. It was true, he'd never had a childhood, never knew what it was like, but he had always felt safe with Lucifer back then.

Lucifer laughed awkwardly, pulling back a little to look him in the eyes.

“I’d uh rather you not think of me as a parental figure…”

“I really f*cking don’t.” Adam answered flatly. Lucifer smiled, before it faded to a softer side of him.

“…Eve, I'm so sorry I wasn’t there for you and Abel. I don’t…I would have never let them hurt you. I couldn’t imagine losing…” Lucifer looked down at his hands, and he didn't have to say Charlie’s name. He seemed to realize quickly enough that he had lost a child.

“…No wonder Adam hated me so much,” Lucifer said to himself, balling up his hands. It felt like an electric shock down Adam's spine. Adam shoved him away, down a few steps, feeling pain and righteous anger burn through him.

“Adam loved Abel. He didn't care you were his father!” Adam snapped at him, another tear threatening to run down his cheek.

“You have no idea how much he loved him. How much it killed him when Abel died. Adam buried him! Adam prayed for him! You don't get to say anything about him! Abel was his son!”

Lucifer took the words as though they were blows to the chest, wincing with every sentence. But, he shook his head.

“I didn't mean it like that, Eve. I meant for not being there for you, not being there to protect Abel. Adam must have hated me for…abandoning you both, like I did him. I'm sure…I'm sure he was a good father to your children. I’m just sorry I wasn’t.”

Adam took quick short breaths, unable to take any deeper, swallowing down his upset, trying not to cry more. Was this the first time Lucifer had admitted to truly abandoning him too? Lucifer took a step up before he knelt in front of Adam, eyes lined red as he bit his lip and met Adam’s gaze.

“Eve…I…you know, maybe Abel did come to Hell? Maybe he went to one of the other Rings, he should have been able to if he was only half human. If he hid in with the hellborn, hiding from the angels, or…from me…he might still be out there?” Lucifer suggested, reaching up to cup Adam’s face with his hand, rubbing his thumb against his cheek. He was so gentle for an entity of such renowned cruelty.

“...I wasn’t being fair to you before, because I also know what it feels like to lose hope. To lose faith. Charlie…Charlie taught me to not give up that hope, my daughter taught me to continue fighting and I’m going to do the same for our son. For Abel.”

Adam breathed out, layers of stress peeling off of him as he leaned softly into the touch.

“Lucifer…I don't think-”

“Then I'll keep faith for both of us, until we find him.” Lucifer told him, resolution clear across his face, before leaning in and kissing his forehead again. There was such kindness in those red eyes. Adam pulled back a fraction to look at him, truly look at Lucifer, every feature on his face, heart pounding. The entire day built upon itself in his mind, how he'd woken, to the drive they'd taken, to singing together, and then to this. Talking about their son.

He wanted to be happy again.

Adam jerked his head forward, pressing a messy kiss against Lucifer’s lips. He wanted to love him again, he wanted Lucifer to love him. He wanted this, he wanted to be seen. He reached up to try and wrap his arms around the angel, but found himself unable to do so. Lucifer kept him at a distance with a single hand.

“Ah, you're breaking my heart, but you taste like very strong alcohol, Eve.” Lucifer said with a sad smile, hand still cupping Adam’s cheek.

“I’d love to continue this another time, but I don't think you're thinking straight right now. I don't want you to regret anything between us, not again. It’s…it's been a long day, let me get you to bed?”

Adam felt the familiar sting of rejection as the world moved around them, a golden ring opening and dropping him lightly onto his bed. He'd been rejected by Heavenborn women plenty of times in his thousands of years in heaven, but it always sucked – and it was a million times worse coming from Lucifer, even if he knew he was right. Adam pulled away from his touch, wrapping his arms around his chest.

Lucifer sat on the edge of the bed, watching him, lips curved down into a frown.

“Eve…You know I'm not saying no, right? Just not right now-“

“Until you remember I'm always just second f*cking fiddle to Lilith.” Adam said lowly, not even looking at him, not even meaning to say it that openly.

“...Is that what you think? Because it is not true.” Lucifer answered simply, no anger, no upset in his voice.

“I'll show you how much you mean to me, another time, when you aren't drunk-“

“Just f*cking go, Lucifer. Okay? f*ck, I get it, just go. You’re a real upstanding guy not taking advantage of me, or whatever, here's your f*cking medal of honor - just leave.” Adam fell down onto the bed, and it felt like his mind took a minute to catch up with his body, slowed and burned by liquor. He wanted to throw a pillow into the f*cking ceiling fan.

“…Could you tell me about him? You…don't have to now, but just…sometime?” Lucifer asked him, and Adam stared at the ceiling before responding.

“…About Abel?”

“Yeah,” Lucifer nodded, smiling at him sadly.

“I've got about, oh… nine thousand birthdays to make up for? I need to know what he likes. Pokemon? Minecraft? Roblox? I don't really know what the kids are into these days.”

“He…” Adam started, as nostalgia hit him and his face muscles hurt too much to smile.

“When he was little, he was obsessed with turtles. I’d take him to the river side while I fished, and I’d have to tie a rope around him so he wouldn’t run into the water. He loved those little guys. It was so f*cking annoying, I had to drag him out of the water so many times before I learned the rope trick.”

Lucifer chuckled at the mental image, conjuring a turtle out of light to swim across the room. Adam remembered Abel sitting on top of this massive turtle on the river edge when he was tiny, trying to ride it.

“I can work with that…”

“He stopped playing around like that as he got older, we… just couldn’t spare the time. I tried to play games with him and Cain, but it was hard…then he found a herd of wild sheep, and from the time he was 9, he acted as their shepherd. He was really good with animals…” Adam sighed, closing his eyes.

“He was a good hunter too, you wouldn't think it looking at him. But it wasn't for fun, he didn't do it to be mean. But, we wouldn't have survived otherwise. I was always…”

Adam looked down at his stomach, soft, no sharp lines, no visible ribs. Early on, outside of Eden, he'd been skin and bones. Pregnancy took so much out of him.

Adam exhaled, feeling closer and closer to sober as he spoke.

“I think that's why the angels tolerated him for so long. I always wondered how he felt, though. His sacrifices were better, he was so diligent, so kind, but they always…othered him. It must have hurt him.”

Lucifer was quiet for a long minute.

“It would have made me angry.”

Adam looked at Lucifer, getting a sense of how he must have felt once he was thrown to Hell. The pain he sensed in the angel’s words hid a much deeper rage he'd only kept seeing glimpses of. Suddenly, Adam didn't want him to go, blame it on the alcohol or not. Adam moved his hand, until it touched Lucifer’s corrupted inky skin, the curves of his fingers that ended in claws. Lucifer tied their hands together, squeezing lightly, pulling them to just above his heart. Adam could feel it beating there, under his suit.

He remembered pulling Abel up onto his chest after giving birth, the relief he'd felt, and the joy he'd felt hearing his son’s heartbeat and soft breath. That's why he'd named him Abel.

“We’ll find him.” Lucifer promised him, and Adam wanted to believe him.

Adam spent the rest of the night telling Lucifer all about the boy he'd never known.

Chapter 20

Chapter Text

Adam walked downstairs into the lobby fairly late in the day, or at least what he was pretty sure was day. He was hoping he'd not slept long enough to wake up in the middle of the night, not again. His head still had a low ache, but that wasn't his biggest issue.

‘I can't believe I f*cking kissed him, I can't believe I f*cking kissed him?!' had been the general thought process going through his head for the last number of hours. From when he woke up, to when he tugged on clothes, opting for looser and less revealing again, to the solid hour he spent arguing with himself in the mirror, to the five times he’d walked in and out of his bedroom.

“Hey, you raggedy bitch, where’d you go last night! I missed you!” An arm slung around his shoulders, and Angel Dust descended out of nowhere like the spider he was, hanging off him and pouting like a child.

“I thought we was gonna sing something cute. Cherri was pissed too, literally and figuratively.”

“I had a headache, went to bed. We can try again another day.” Adam pushed his arm off, trying not to meet his eyes. Why did he feel so on edge?

Oh, that was why.

Lucifer walked into the room at that very moment and made eye contact with Adam. They both froze up and stared each other down. Lucifer had left sometime in the very early morning, not on a bad note or anything. A bit sad still, after talking about Abel for so long, but Adam’s initial anger at himself and embarrassment washed away and part of him was sad to see the monarch go. Adam vaguely remembered Lucifer saying he was going to go, after tucking Adam in, and that was that.

All that, plus the kiss…Adam was a mess the moment all the alcohol had burned out of his system.

“Oh! Um, good morning Eve! You look very pretty- I mean, I hope you slept well, eventually after- er, I mean, haha, not that I was in your room for an extended period of time or anything!” Lucifer laughed nervously, panicked eyes darting to Angel Dust. The awkward smile he had plastered on his face broke a bit when he looked back at Adam.

“…You doing okay?”

“Fine, yeah.” Adam nodded stiffly, finding a thread on his sweater that was f*cking fascinating.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Everything is totally normal and not weird. I slept totally normal, after a normal night.”

Angel Dust looked back and forth between them, before a wide leer and a grin curled over his lips like the cat that caught the canary. He'd probably not looked this happy on holidays.

“Holy sh*t. I can't believe it. You two boned, didn't ya? You totally touched nips. I bet you both sucked and f*cked until-“ Adam slammed his hand over Angels face, until a tongue wriggled between his fingers.

“Ew! f*cking gross!” Adam yelped, wiping his hand off on his loose skirt.

“No, we didn’t f*ck, okay?! Stop being weird. Like, yes, we have f*cked, but not any time in the last nine thousand years?!”

Angel grinned, but just shrugged a shoulder.

“Protest all you want, but your boyfriend’s face says it all. Nice job, by the way, baggin' the King n' all”

Adam looked back at Lucifer and found he'd turned a bright coral orange in his face, looking like an embarrassed co*ckatiel. Great, now Angel was really going to get the wrong idea. They need to just pretend there was nothing between them, and then this would eventually just go away.

“Eve, um…I was actually wondering…if you…if you'd like to…” Lucifer took a step closer, and a bundle of flowers appeared in his hand, a bouquet of baby’s breath, camellia, forget-me-not, rose, and yarrow.

“...Would you like to go out with me tomorrow?” Lucifer’s eyes were locked on his, and he was chewing on his lower lip with sharp teeth, cheeks still flushed. Had he been thinking about this all night? He seemed so intent about it.

Adam blinked and similarly felt his face going bright red, just as Angel Dust made an extremely high pitched noise beside him.

A date? An actual f*cking date? Adam didn't go on dates. They weren't a thing when he was alive, and in heaven people dated, obviously, but Adam didn’t. He’d meet a chick somewhere and maybe they'd hook up or maybe they wouldn’t. He'd never gone out to date. What was he even supposed to do on a date? It would have been easier for Adam if Lucifer had just asked to bone.

“I’d like to talk with you more, just you and I…away from the hotel? I want to…disprove something you said last night.” Lucifer said, slowly seeming a bit more confident in himself as he spoke. His nerves were vanishing, as he stepped in closer, just in front of Adam.

“I told you I’d like to continue where we left off, if you still want that.”

Adam flashed on pressing the kiss against Lucifer, the taste of his lips that he'd not known in so very long. He thought even further back, on the very first time Lucifer kissed him, deeply. And thought about him between his thighs. Thought about spending nights together, singing, dancing, laying side by side, looking at the stars. He thought about how happy he'd been then. How much things had changed since then, Adam didn't think he'd ever reclaim that exact same feeling from the garden. He remembered the feeling last night, of wanting to love Lucifer again, and maybe a part of him never stopped, buried under hate built from hurt.

But maybe they could build something new again.

“I'm not really a flowers kind of person…” Adam said softly, and Lucifer’s face started to fall, as did the bouquet; until Adam snagged it out of his hands, pulling it up to his chest. Those were his f*cking flowers.

“But…sure, yeah. Let's do it.”

Even if the person Lucifer loved was Eve, not Adam; if it wasn’t Lilith, then Adam still counted that as a small win.

Lucifer's smile hit supernova proportions, and Adam felt like he could practically see hearts flashing in his eyes, maybe literally.

“Great! I…oh, that’s so great! I’ll let you know tomorrow where we're going! It'll be amazing! I promise you! If there's one thing I know how to do it's put on a show! It's a date!” Lucifer laughed confidently, puffing out his chest as though he wasn’t under 6’0 in heels.

“Okay?” Adam said slowly, trying to keep down his own smile. His head didn't hurt as much anymore, especially not when Lucifer went practically skipping out of the room. Cute.

“Some devil, huh?” Adam said, trying to play off his own embarrassment, though his cheeks were still warm.

“He is totally head over tit* for you, you know that right?” Angel said, looking at Adam with a knowing smile, nudging him in the ribs with a skinny elbow.

“So, you going to tell me what happened between you, or you gonna let me guess and then proceed to tell everyone what my guess is? I bet Charlie would love to hear.”

Adam blanched, especially at Charlie’s name. f*ck, now that Lucifer knew about Abel, it was only a matter of time until Charlie knew and that was probably not going to go over well.

“You can't tell her anything, okay? And no, we didn’t f*ck. I mean …just not…ugh. You understand?”

“Not even a little bit, sweetheart.” Angel grinned.

Adam huffed, looking down at the flowers. Who the hell gave flowers anymore and why did he love them? They were so corny and so very Lucifer.

“...I don't know sh*t about flowers, do these mean anything to you?”

“They mean allergies for a solid three months to me; if you mean language of flower type sh*t, then I have no idea. My idea of romance is a little bit more low brow. More fluids and edible body butters.” Angel shrugged, looking them over, before looking back up at Adam.

“So, if you two didn’t f*ck, then what did you do?”

Adam pondered telling him or not, before exhaling and pulling Angel to a private room.

“Okay, but you seriously can’t tell Charlie. …We’ll cross those water works when we get to them.”

“f*ck, that’s…” Angel whispered from the confines of the room they'd hidden in, frowning and looking down at his hands.

“I'm sorry about your kids, bout Abel. I keep forgetting you’re…the Eve, and not just some amazon sized chick that can really throw back drinks.”

Adam tried not to react, but he just gave made some kind of face at it, judging by what Angel said next.

“I mean, I've only been dead for under a hundred years. It's still weird to me, sometimes, when I remember I’m in Hell. Actual Hell. I grew up in Catholic school, y’know? I figured I'd be coming here. I always heard biblical stories, but I never paid any attention, wasn’t a good student. Got hit by the nuns all the time. I knew about God, the devil, Jesus, Mary, Adam and Eve… Cain and Abel, but it’s different now that I’ve met angels…I know it's all your life, but it's ancient history to me.” Angel said with a heavy sigh.

“At a certain point, you start being dead long enough, it seems like it's been forever. Everything feels like ancient history. Then, you hit a point, and it feels like… it was just yesterday.” Adam mused, looking out the window, watching the lights and neon flashes from the city.

“...I want to believe Lucifer is right, that maybe Abel is down here, somewhere. But, it has been so long that maybe, even if he's not…”

Adam found he didn't despise the sight of the red city any longer. He didn't see as much of the filth and dirtiness, the disgust that he'd felt looking upon Pentagram City during the exterminations. Back then, it was this testament to sin, to betrayal, to those who chose Lucifer’s kingdom over Heaven, and he’d wanted to see it wiped off the f*cking map. It was drastically different than Heaven still, and he was pretty sure there was no 1000 flavor ice cream shops here.

…But, he didn't hate it anymore. It was a piece of sh*t, but so was he.

“I hated Lucifer for so long that it became part of my personality, but now…Lucifer has been there for me when I needed someone. Not Heaven - Lucifer. He's been the only one to…to understand what I'm going through. Maybe not all of it and maybe I'll never be as important to him as Lilith, maybe he'll end up hating my guts, but….” Adam looked back at Angel, uncertainty tainting his words. Part of him still screamed at the idea of doing anything with Lucifer, letting him in again, starting to trust him again.

“Am I being an idiot about him?”

“Kinda?” Angel answered plainly.

“ I'm not joking, he’s totally into you. Like, babe, I think you'd have to do something pretty terrible to make him hate you. I mean, you're basically Adam’s clone and he still wants in your pants.” Angel teased, but he didn't know how close he came to the truth.

“Yeah, right,” Adam mumbled to himself, seeing more of his own face reflected in the glass.

“Can I be totally honest with you?” Angel said, and Adam shrugged.

“I know something about hiding parts of yourself, lying to yourself until it becomes as easy as breathin’. I think there's still something you're not telling any of us, about heaven, about how you got here, about Adam, or about Lilith, I don't f*ckin’ know. But, you gotta tell him eventually.”

Adam stayed silent.

“Look, whatever – you do you, but I see the writing on the wall, okay?” Angel grabbed Adam’s hands, and made him look him in the eyes, his tone shifting to a happier one.

“You and Lucifer are going to go off and be super lovey dovey soon and you're never going to hang out with me and Cherri anymore – so, I suggest we have one more outing tonight, get drinks, gossip, and I can finally ask you about how good he is in bed.” Angel said, leaning forward.

“What do you say? You bailed on karaoke, so you kind of owe me. I know a great place, drinks are cheap, karaoke is free.”

Adam laughed, welcoming the diversion. He really didn't want to think about telling Lucifer who he was right now. He'd just lost his headache for sh*ts sake.

“f*ck it, let's do it.”

Adam cheered as he clinked his glass together with Angel’s, Cherri’s, and Husk’s who had actually decided on joining them out. He'd commented about how he'd not had the chance to drink anything the night before, because he was monitoring the karaoke machine, and Angel decided on dragging him along. Adam wondered if Husk had a bit of a crush himself on Angel, but he wasn't the greatest at figuring out feelings.

“To young love!” Angel Dust cheered, to which Adam rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

“To getting dicked down!” Cherri cheered instead and Adam laughed as Angel happily sloshed his drink against hers. Maybe it was dumb to drink again so soon after yesterday, but he was f*cking Adam, who cared?

“So, I gotta ask - if you start going out with Lucifer, does that mean you'll leave the hotel for his mansion?” Husk asked him, downing an old fashioned in record pace.

“Not that I’d blame you, but are you not trying for redemption anymore?”

Adam wavered on that particular topic, grimacing as he looked at anything but the off duty bartender. The bar they'd gone to was fairly clean, though Angel commented it had a black light hour which would have him second guessing sitting on any surface in the place.

“I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know how hard I was trying in the first place…”

“Isn't heaven supposed to be perfect? Why’s everyone from there kind of a c*nt?” Cherri asked, leaning over to look at Adam.

“No offense, love.”

“Heaven is like…everything you’d ever want, all the time. It's a paradise, for awhile. Eventually though, if you're there long enough, you run out of things to want…or the things you want are actually down here. It makes you bitter, then you get angry at yourself because what's wrong with you when Heaven isn't enough?” Adam mused, swirling his drink.

“I do miss the f*cking boba tea though…”

“You were unhappy cus you were thinking about devil dick, huh?” Angel joked, grinning. Adam resisted the urge to shove him off his bar stool.

“Tell me, please, is he obsessed with ducks for a reason? Is Lucifer’s dick, you know…” Angel made a spiral shape with his finger, and Adam wrinkled his nose.

“No, f*ck. Yuck.” Adam immediately shot out, before he thought about it for a minute.

“I mean, I guess it could be? Since he shape shifts, but no…his dick is pretty normal?”

“What is pretty normal?" Cherri laughed, eyebrow raised practically into her hairline.

“If you haven't noticed, love, Angel’s a spider and Husker is a cat.”

“Could be worse, I could be Australian.” Husk grinned sharply at her, watching her scowl.

Adam looked around to make sure no one was real close. He flushed, trying to think back, but not wanting to think that hard on it. It’d been dark the time Lucifer and him did anything, he didn't get a great look at what was going on…but…

“…So…okay. Angels are all like…totally flat downstairs, right? Nothing happening in that regard. But they can, if they want to. Seraphim aren’t supposed to have sex, but the lower Heavenborn do. That's a little secret they don't like to admit to, too. They like to say humans introduced sex to Heaven, but no. So, with Lucifer, it just sort of …pushes out of him? Flat to holy sh*t in a few seconds.” Adam said awkwardly, waving a hand.

“It's way bigger than you'd think for his body size. Plus he can change the size, shape, whatever, whenever.”

“This is the best day of my non life.” Angel sighed happily, chin in the palm of his hands, picturing it.

“I’m going to live vicariously through-

“Angel? That is you, isn't it?”

The mood shifted in an instant, and Adam watched as the color entirely drained from Angels face. His shoulders bunched up and his breathing got a bit quicker. Fear tinged the edges of Angel’s expression as he seemed to try and make himself look smaller. Adam turned in his seat to find an extremely tall and slender sinner in a long red coat and a top hat that suggested he was either a pimp or trying to emulate Lucifer. Adam realized he recognized this particular sinner. He was the one from the trial footage that Charlie showed Sera, trying to prove Angel had changed.

Adam had thought very little at the time, not caring about seeing a sinner injure another f*cking sinner. Who cared if Angel had signed his soul away to the f*cker? Adam thought Angel deserved it, back then. He was a whor*, nothing more, nothing less.

“Valentino, I’m just trying to have fun with friends, okay? I'll see you at the studio tomorrow.” Angel said quietly, already defensive. Husk’s hackles stood, and Cherri had never looked so furious before.

“Oh, don't worry you little head over anything, Angel! I just wanted to introduce myself to your new friend here. I think I saw you in the news, at that other club? I was very impressed.” Valentino said, practically purring as he dragged his eyes up and down Adam’s form. The lights from the bar flickered across his heart shaped sunglasses. Adam knew he was an overlord with the TV guy, he’d picked up on that enough in his time staying in the hotel.

“You know, if you ever wanted to get out of that pigpen, darling, I could be your agent.”

"Valentino, don't." Angel sounded like he was near begging.

"Just leave her the f*ck alone-"

A slap rang out through the bar, and Angel was left holding his face. Husk pulled Angel away, ears straight back, and Cherri was starting to stand. They loved Angel, they wanted to protect him. For just a moment, instead of Angel, Adam saw Abel.

Adam realized something in that moment - no, he didn't really think he’d ever to back to Heaven.

Because he was about to end this f*cking bug. Moth, meet windshield.